by Sam Crescent
“I don’t think you’d be happy with the way you look right now,” he said. He grabbed the seat, lifting it up and placing it close to the bed. Machines were on one side, giving the reading of her heart rate and blood pressure.
“I hate seeing you like this.” He laughed. “I know wherever you are right now, you’re probably annoyed at me stating the obvious. Sorry to do that, you know, state the obvious.” He ran a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry.” He reached out, about to take her hand, but he stopped himself. “I’m not used to talking like this or being with anyone like this. I don’t do feelings. You know this. I’m trying. I want to do what’s best for you, but I … I’m struggling. Damn, Robin. I’ve been looking for you for two years and I know when you wake up, you’re going to have a whole lot to say.”
He stared at her. “I can’t wait to hear your voice. I’ve been thinking about you all the time. Every decision I make, it’s in the hope of finding you. The club’s pissed at me because I’ve made some really shitty deals for information. I guess to some, I’ve been a bad leader but it was all to bring me closer to you or at the very least, to try and find you.” He wanted to hold her. It killed him inside to know he couldn’t take that step to be near to her, to touch her, to hold her. For now, he had to hold back.
Clenching his hands into fists, he sat back in his chair, trying to be calm. Trying to get his shit together and find some source of control, but it wasn’t helping. He finally had Robin, but she was as lost to him as she first was.
****
“It’s her?”
Preacher jolted awake at the question. He turned to see Bear in the doorway of the hospital room.
“Yeah, it’s her.”
He stood up. He couldn’t remember when he’d fallen asleep but he’d been out cold. Running a hand down his face, he tried to clear the sleep from his eyes.
“I came as soon as Grave gave me the message.”
“Was Bishop with you?”
“Nah, I haven’t seen him for a couple of days. I don’t keep track of him.” Bear stepped forward. “What’s going on?”
“The doc says she’s in a coma.”
“When will she wake up?”
“When she’s ready. She walked into an oncoming car. It’s how she got here. I’m going to grab some coffee. You want some?”
“Yes, I want some.” Bear took the seat he’d been sitting in and Preacher left the room. He chanced another look at the woman he loved before pulling himself a way to go and grab some coffee.
The doctors, nurses, and medical staff gave him a wide berth and he really didn’t give a fuck what they were thinking or how worried they were about him. They needed to stay the fuck away from him right now because he really needed to get his shit together in one way or another.
He made his way to the cafeteria, which had already opened for breakfast but it was now lunch. Seeing as Bear would need to have some alone time with Robin, he ordered himself a sandwich and coffee. He sat near the window, eating and not really tasting, looking out at the world and waiting for some kind of feeling to wash over him.
He’d found her.
No, someone else had found her, but she was now back in his care.
Only, he didn’t know what he was dealing with or how to fight it. Seeing her all beaten up and helpless, he couldn’t do anything about it. How had she gotten away? Was Reaper waiting somewhere to take her back? Was this a game? He wouldn’t put it past the son of a bitch to already have a plan in place or wanting to do something else to hurt him.
“I figured I’d find you here. Bear’s having a hard time of it upstairs,” Randall said, dropping his tray on the table and taking a seat.
“I didn’t say you could sit here.”
“Come on, now. We’re old-time friends and you look like you could use a chat.”
“Because I talk to you at the best of times.”
“I’m the only person you’ve got who understands what’s going on with Robin.”
“You don’t have a clue. Me and you, we don’t know the kind of shit life she’s had the past couple of years.”
“You’re right, we don’t, but I do know what she’s going through on a medical front. I know her injuries are severe. She may never walk again, and she certainly will struggle to run. The bones in her foot were shattered. That’s going to hurt like hell and she’s going to need some therapy. Then of course, we don’t know what else she’s gone through, or what kind of pain she’s dealing with on the inside. I’ve got the resources to help her. I know the best people and I can help guide you. We can bring her back to us, together.”
“I can pay the best, Randall. Money makes the world go round, remember?”
“You can’t buy respect.”
“No, but I can buy loyalty.”
“Which someone with a bigger price can also offer.”
Preacher sat back, looking at Randall. All his life, he’d always had the bigger cash flow and if money didn’t help, fear was a great secondary tool.
“Why would you want to help me, Randall? I know you’ve worked for the club for years and I can trust you, but I also pay you. Why are you willing to help me now?”
“It’s not about you, is it? This is about Robin. I helped bring her into the world. I was there when Bear and Rebecca had that huge fight twenty years ago now. I was the one who held her in my arms when Rebecca turned her away and Bear was too drunk and scared to hold her. She was screaming, scared, hungry. I held her. Fed her. For three days, no one wanted her until Bear, he finally came and when he did, he held his daughter for the first time, and I knew she’d be safe, but I bonded with that kid. Whenever she had a cut or graze, or just felt ill. I was the one she came to. I care about her, Preacher, and it’s not because of who you are and what it is you do. Robin’s a good girl. Always has been, and she’s going to need those who love and care about her close.”
“You love her?”
“She’s like a daughter to me and even though I’ve never heard you say the words, I know you love her too.”
Preacher didn’t say anything. He ate his now-cold sandwich and stared across the table at Randall, who had started to eat.
“Where do I need to look first in taking care of her?” Preacher asked.
“First, we get her healthy and we hope she wakes up.”
“If she doesn’t, will Bear have to make a choice?”
“We can talk about that problem when we get to it.”
“I say we talk about it right now seeing as I’m thinking about it and I need to know my options.”
“Okay. If there is even a chance she won’t wake up ever, or her brain activity diminishes, then yes, the choice will be up to Bear as to whether or not he turns off life support, but she has to get to that stage. Right now, we’re assisting her breathing purely because we don’t know the true extent of the damage. And after the surgery, we’re giving her a chance to relax before we go in on any possible invasive surgery. Does that help?”
He sat back down and breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes, it helps. I’m sorry.”
“Welcome to the world of being human, Preach.”
“I … I don’t know what to do right now.” It was the first time he’d ever openly admitted to being out of his depth.
“Thankfully, this is something I can in fact help you with. First, you will finish your breakfast. Then you’ll get a cup of coffee to Bear because I’ve spoken to him and he stinks like a brothel. Then you’ll go home, get washed and changed. I’m going to be at the hospital with Bear. He won’t let anything happen to her and neither will I. You’re going to need your strength. Robin’s not waking up today.”
“Any indication when people do wake up?”
“Do you want me to really answer that for you?”
“I need to know.”
“Fine. Sometimes it can be a couple of days, a few months, years, or never. I can’t give you some kind of miracle date here, Preacher. That’s not how it works. She’s either
going to wake up or not. You can’t lose hope, though.”
“Yeah, but it sounds a lot to me like you believe she won’t wake up,” he said.
Randall sighed. “I can’t tell you for definite she’s going to be the same woman. She may never be the same person you knew, Preacher, but I have to believe she’ll come back to us because I don’t want to think of the last time I saw her as being the last. You’re not the only person who wanted her back.” Randall finished his lunch and left.
Preacher shoved the last piece of his sandwich into his mouth, forcing it down. He drank the cold coffee and got himself another and one for Bear. When he returned to the room, Bear was there, holding her arm.
“I can’t even hold her fucking hand,” Bear said. “Look at her. She’s back and I’m too fucking drunk to even make it. I’m a useless father.”
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, and look what good I am. I can’t … I’m a fucking mess.”
“None of us knew what was going to happen, Bear. You can’t beat yourself up.”
“You were here, like always. You were ready.” Bear took the coffee. “I think I’ve got a problem.”
“With what?”
“With drinking. I think I need to go to rehab or, I don’t know, detox.”
“If that’s what you feel you need to do, we can get you admitted to one as soon as Robin’s better, or you can go this afternoon.”
“I don’t know if I have a problem. I don’t drink every single day and I don’t knock myself out all the time. I’m not desperate for a drink. Fuck, I drink because it passes the time and last night was the first time in a couple of days.”
“It’s up to you,” Preacher said. “When Robin wakes up, our focus is going to be on getting her well, not on thinking about us or what we need.”
“I know. I know. I will. Even if I don’t have a problem. I’m going to do it. I need to get my shit together. Robin doesn’t even have a mother to rely on anymore. She’s got us.”
“That’s still a lot of people she can trust,” Preacher said. “She’s not alone and she will never be alone again.” He sipped his hot coffee, relishing the burn as it sank down his throat. He hated to think of Robin on her own. He didn’t know what she’d been through and how she’d survived.
Had she begged for him?
“Are we still going to hunt for Reaper?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. He’s not getting off easy. I’m going to hunt him like the fucking dog he is and he’s going to wish he’d never looked in Robin’s direction.” Preacher wasn’t going to stop hunting for Reaper. The time would come when he’d find him and when he did, he was going to serve justice in his own way.
****
A couple of days later
“How come I didn’t get the memo?” Bishop asked, stepping into the room.
“I don’t go chasing you around,” Preacher said. He was reading a book. It was some kind of crime novel, but he hadn’t really taken in the story. It was just a bunch of words on the page. He was more interested in watching Robin, but after a couple of days, there was still no change. Randall said it was a good thing. Even though there was no change, it meant she wasn’t getting worse. He’d been told many times he had to start seeing the positive, but no matter how often he was told, it didn’t make it any easier, in fact, he found it far worse. He was growing tired of waiting, but at least she was here, with him. All he had to do was reach out and touch her to know she existed, that he wasn’t losing his mind. He hadn’t told Bishop. What was the fucking point in telling his son anything? Robin belonged to him, no one else.
“I’m her best friend and you didn’t think to tell me she was safe?”
Preacher looked up from his book to stare at his son. “How many times have you joined me on the leads I’ve been chasing?” He waited but Bishop didn’t give him a reply.
“Last time we spoke, you told me how pointless it was to pursue her. I should just give up because she was clearly dead. Again, you told me that. Tell me, Bishop, why the fuck would I tell you anything? Especially when you’ve spent every single available minute I’ve needed you avoiding the issue.”
“You think this is easy for me?”
“I think, like always, you’re a selfish little prick because you only think of yourself. Like now. Look at her, Bishop. Look at your best friend. The one you care so much about. Tell me she means anything to you when all you can think about is how you’ve been wronged Look at her!” He put the book down, pissed off at Bishop’s interference. He wanted to hurt his son, which was a feeling that grew every single day and had started to wear a little thin.
“I’m looking.”
“You see the bruises? The casts? Do they not mean anything to you? She’s been through a lot, so no, I wouldn’t call you. Not when the only important person in your life is yourself!”
He was done with this. Bishop annoyed him, pissed him off. Getting to his feet, he was about to throw the little prick out, but Randall chose that moment to enter.
“How are you today, gentlemen?” Randall asked. He walked up to the bottom of Robin’s bed, clipboard in hand, and began to make some notes.
“We’re fine,” he said, taking a seat again. He wasn’t here to give his son an ass whooping. He’d come to relieve Bear so he could get a shower and some food.
They were all taking turns. In a couple of hours, Grave would be by. Bishop, with his complete lack of regard to his authority and the club, wouldn’t be allowed to be alone with her. He didn’t care how much it pissed him off. Preacher’s word was law.
Picking up his book, he ignored Bishop when he left and returned minutes later, holding a chair. He sat down, and Preacher continued to read his book, waiting.
Of course, it didn’t matter how long his son and Robin had been friends or even what he’d been doing. The only thing that mattered to him right now was taking care of his woman. It had been two years since he’d last seen Robin, but she was still and would always be his woman. He loved her more than anything in the world and always would.
Running a hand down his face, he tried not to think of the loneliness and fear that had consumed him in the last couple of years. All he could think about was Robin. He’d made some tough choices for the club in order to call in as many favors as he could, but that was all over now. He only needed to focus on Robin getting better.
“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” Randall said, leaving him and his son alone.
The minutes ticked by. The only sound to fill the room was that of the machine beeping, letting him know she was alive and would continue breathing. He didn’t want to imagine a world without her.
“You could have at least sent me a text.”
“Really, what would that do?” Preacher asked. “You rarely answer your texts. You do your own thing now, Bishop. What more could you possibly expect from me?”
“I don’t know. Something. Anything. I don’t want to lose her.”
“You haven’t lost her. Not yet,” Preacher said. “She’s right there.”
“But what if she doesn’t wake up?”
“You know, I’m growing tired of your negativity. She will wake up and when she does, we’ll know the kind of hell she’s been through.” Preacher stayed seated as Bishop got up.
“I can’t watch her like this.”
“I didn’t tell you to.”
“I’m out of here.”
Once again, he watched as Bishop left.
“I don’t know what to say about him, sweetheart. He claims to love you but spends a great deal of time walking away or thinking of the worst when it comes to you.” He didn’t touch her but placed his arm close to hers, not wanting to let her go, just be near her.
A few hours later, that was where Grave found him when he came to take over.
“Keep an eye on her. Don’t let any nurse or someone pretty distract you.”
“I won’t.”
Preacher left the hospital, drove home, and
took a quick shower. He didn’t bother making himself a cooked meal and settled on a quickly thrown together sandwich. Before leaving the house once again, he made his way upstairs to Robin’s old room.
Nothing had changed.
Before Bishop had left home, Preacher had caught him once, trying to clean up the room as if she’d left and wasn’t coming back. It had pissed him off to the point he attacked his son and ordered him to put everything back in the right and appropriate places.
This was his home, not Bishop’s, and Robin’s stuff stayed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he noticed that the scent of her had long faded but her stuff was still there. One of her English books was on the counter, open at the last page she’d been reading.
Some of her notebooks were spilling out of her backpack, and he didn’t have the heart to move them. He didn’t have the heart to move any of it. She belonged here. This was her home and he missed her so fucking much.
With Robin back in his life, when she did finally wake up, he’d bring her here. “You’ll be back soon.”
After getting to his feet, he walked toward the nursery. Opening the door, he stared into the room. Again, he hadn’t changed anything. The picture of the tree she’d asked him to draw was on one side of the wall. She’d loved his design.
Even when everyone kept telling her she didn’t need to keep the baby, she’d been determined to do exactly that. She had fought against everyone, and yet, she’d lost the baby. Then, too soon, he’d lost her. He didn’t need to keep remembering those first few days. The helpless feeling had never gone away. This was one of the reasons why he’d never allowed himself to fall for a woman. The control they had was too great, but he couldn’t stop his feelings for Robin. From the moment he let her in, there was no letting go.
****
The days turned to weeks and then into a month. Preacher divided his time between his club, his businesses, and Robin. It was hard not to put her first. The club, they shared in keeping an eye on her. Bear was at the hospital constantly, and so was he. He only picked the men he trusted to keep her safe.