by Sam Crescent
“Did we love each other?”
“In your way, yes.”
“Then why don’t I feel anything for him?” She pressed her lips together. “Forget I said that.”
“You and Bishop were married, but you didn’t have a conventional marriage.”
“We were best friends?”
“Yes, and he was with a new girl every single chance he got. You didn’t care, though.”
“About his cheating?”
“I guess you could say it was like you didn’t care at all back then. You expected it.”
Even now, hearing the news of his cheating, she didn’t feel anything. Rubbing at her temple, she felt the beginning of a headache.
“Here we are. Would you like me to stick around?” Billy asked.
“No, that’s okay. I’ll be fine.” She wanted to be alone with her thoughts. Unbuckling her belt, she tried the door and Billy touched her arm.
“If there is ever anything you need, anything at all, please, contact me. Don’t hold back. Let me know what you want, and I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
She climbed out of the car, closing the door. The large floodlight turned on and as it did, she covered her eyes.
“You can do this the easy way, kid, or the hard way. I really don’t care. That bitch is coming with us and you’re surrounded. There’s no way for you to stop what’s happening.”
“I’m not letting you get her.”
“Then it’s your funeral. I did warn you.”
She stumbled but caught herself as Billy drove out. Giving him a wave, she looked back at the house, a sickness twisting inside her.
As she took a step, another memory flashed in her mind.
“Yeah, daddy dearest will be pissed, but come on. What’s asshole really going to do? Complain that he can’t keep me in line? I’m sick and tired of being PS. I’m one vowel away from being PMS!”
Only this one wasn’t outside of the house.
Bishop was present in both memories, and only the voice of that man. The one she kept hearing in the back of her mind that made her think something was important.
She moved to the porch steps and sat down, resting her head in her hands. A spiral of sickness worked its way up her body, threatening to spill out. She took several deep breaths, wanting to remember.
But again, her thoughts wouldn’t come.
Staring at the ground, she wondered what she should do when she heard a bike roaring down the driveway. Getting to her feet, she stepped into the darkness, wanting to hide from any impending doom.
There was nothing for her to worry about as the floodlight came back on and she saw Preacher.
“Don’t you think you should wear a helmet?” she asked.
“I haven’t worn a helmet in a long time. Do you want to tell me what’s going on? Billy called me. He told me he dropped you off here. Imagine Bear’s surprise when I asked him and he went to check on you. He’s worried.” Preacher threw his cell phone in her direction. “You’re going to have to call him.”
She stared down at it. “I … I just needed to get out of the house. That’s all.” She handed him back his cell phone. “No other reason.”
“Yeah, well, your dad worries about you. Let him know you’re safe and I’ll look after you.”
She turned his cell phone on and found Bear’s number. “You really should protect your phone with a password or something.”
He chuckled. “I rarely use the thing. Believe me, there’s nothing worth shit on that thing.”
She followed him into his house as she put the cell phone to her ear. The moment she stepped through the threshold, she felt like she’d come home.
“Preacher, do you have her?” Bear asked.
He did sound slightly panicked, which immediately made her feel guilty. “Hey, Dad, it’s me.”
“Robin, what the fuck were you thinking? Do you have any idea how scared I was? I thought someone could have taken you. It’s not safe.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just needed a bit of a break. You’ve been very … protective.”
She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. It was the last thing she wanted to do.
Bear sighed. “I caused this?”
“No, no, of course not. It’s nothing. Believe me. It’s all my fault and I’m so sorry.” She cringed, hating how ungrateful she sounded. “I just needed to walk and I’m with Preacher. He’ll keep an eye on me. I promise. Next time, I won’t climb out of my window.”
“You know you’ve never done that before, don’t you?”
“Done what?”
“Climbed out of a window. Damn it, Robin, you’ve got to be careful.”
“I will. I promise.”
“Put Preacher on the phone.”
She handed Preacher his phone and took a seat as he pointed at one. Lowering herself into the seat, she waited as Preacher nodded, doing some humming and then hanging up.
“Has he always worried like this?”
“I think it’s now his new hobby to worry about you. He just wants to take care of you.” He shrugged. “Surely you can understand?”
“Yeah, of course, I do.” She looked down at her wrists, seeing the chains wrapped around her wrists.
She caught Preacher looking at them and she pulled her wrists close, folding her arms.
“You wanted to come here?”
“Billy asked to drive me and this is the only place I haven’t been to. I hope I’m not intruding.”
“You’re not. This was your home once. Has Bishop been in touch with you?” Preacher asked.
“Not since the night at the bar. He hasn’t even stopped by. Why?”
“He’s out of town. I was wondering if he told you where he went.”
“I don’t have a clue. When it comes to Bishop, I have a lot of questions.”
“I’m sure you do. I’m not going to give you any answers.”
“Why don’t I feel anything for him?”
Preacher shrugged. “I’ve spoken to Randall. I won’t be feeding you any answers. Are you hungry?”
“A little bit. Can I go and see my old room? You said I stayed here with you for a short time. I’d like to go and see it.”
“Of course.” He took the lead and she followed close behind him. He opened a door. “There’s your room. The only things that have changed are the items I’ve brought to you. Everything else is the way you left it.”
She stepped into the room and noticed the light floral colors and the lemony scent. “This is how I left it?”
“Yes.”
She sat down on the edge of the bed. “It feels comfortable.”
“I’m going to go and cook. I’ll let you know when dinner is done.”
She watched him walk away even as she wanted him to come back. He closed the door behind him, and she stayed in her old room, with her thoughts.
Staring across the room, she saw a vanity table. It was plain white, but she noticed there was no makeup, just a box. She stepped closer and realized it was a black box with a lock in place.
She tried the catch, only for it to not work. The box didn’t remind her of anything.
Walking around the room, she went toward the closet, then back again, pacing the length of the room. Again, nothing jumped out at her or screamed for her to know what was going on. None of this made any sense to her.
I want my memories back.
Leaving the bedroom, she came to a stop at a door.
Again, this feeling washed over her, and she tried the door handle, opening it. She stepped inside, and on instinct, she found the light switch, flicking it on.
It was a neutral nursery.
There was no baby.
The curtains were drawn closed.
She spun in a circle and saw the large drawn tree with wild animals from deer to bunnies on the far wall.
“Dinner is done,” Preacher said, coming to a stop within the bedroom.
“Did I
have a kid?” she asked, looking at Preacher. “Is that why I don’t love Bishop? He and I were having a kid? Where is he or she? No one told me about a baby.” She touched her stomach. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“You need to calm down.”
“I am calm!” She yelled the words. There was no way she was calm. In fact, she was freaking out.
She’d been pregnant and for some reason, she wasn’t pregnant anymore. Why wasn’t she pregnant? What had happened to her baby? Why wasn’t she pregnant?
“You’re having a panic attack. I need you to breathe.”
The world started to get fuzzy around her. She couldn’t breathe.
Where was her baby?
What was happening?
Where did it all go wrong?
Everything suddenly went black.
****
“Is she okay?” Preacher asked as Randall came out of her bedroom. He hadn’t called Bear as he didn’t want him to worry.
“She will be.”
“What happened?”
“She had a panic attack. The memories, possibly. I don’t know. I’ve given her a mild sedative. There won’t be any lasting damage but clearly, a child, it changes things for her.”
“I’ve never seen her act like that. Not even when she lost our little girl.”
“It will be hard for her at first. There’s a past you don’t know about. A lot can happen in two years. We’re all just going to have to be patient with her, give her time. Let her come to all of this.”
“How long will she be out?”
“Only a couple of hours. Long enough for her to rest. Call me if you feel she needs anything else.”
Preacher showed him out. “With her reaction to the nursery, does this mean she’ll remember?”
“It’s a possibility. Again, I can’t stress enough how powerful the human brain is. Everyone reacts differently. You can never give two patients the same outcomes. It just doesn’t work that way. Robin’s strong. I only hope she’s strong enough to deal with whatever pains her. There is pain there, Preacher. You must be aware of it.”
“I am. Thanks for coming.” He closed the door and stared up at the stairs. His food was long cold but after seeing the way she reacted, he wasn’t hungry. He took the steps two at a time and went into her room. She was still out cold but at least she looked peaceful.
He grabbed the chair from the corner of the room, bringing it closer to the bed, and took a seat. There was a lot of stuff he could be doing, like hunting his suddenly elusive son, but there was nowhere else he wanted to be than with this woman right now.
The love he felt for her was strong. Stronger than anything else he’d ever experienced. He’d been with his fair share of women over the years, but none of them had ever made him commit like this. It was … fucking magical.
Only, he’d been given a taste of it and hadn’t been able to have anything else. Reaper had taken the one person who mattered to him more than anything and to know he’d done so for fun sickened him.
Running a hand down his face, he stared at the ink on her wrists. He had no doubt she’d been forced to get the ink, and he’d also seen the one with Reaper’s name at the base of her back. Her body told so many different stories, and none of them she could remember. He didn’t know if he should even let her remember them.
The minutes ticked on by, turning to hours before she finally sighed and started to move. She opened her eyes and looked up at him.
“Preacher?” she asked. “What happened?”
“You had a panic attack. It’s okay now. You’re fine.”
“The baby room? I was pregnant, wasn’t I?”
“Are you hungry?”
“Was it Bishop’s baby?” she asked.
He stared at her, wondering what he should say. “I don’t think you’re ready to know the truth. I’m going to go and warm us up some food.”
“Was it yours?” she asked. “There is only one reason everyone is keeping stuff from me. The ultrasound picture I have, it’s of my baby, isn’t it? Not me. My baby girl?”
Preacher turned to look at her. “You don’t want these answers.”
She was crying and he didn’t want to hurt her. “If there’s no baby then that means I lost it, right?”
He moved toward the bed, pulling her into his arms and holding her. “You don’t need to remember this.”
“But it doesn’t feel right, thinking of having Bishop’s baby. I don’t feel anything for him but when I’m with you, it feels right. Why does it feel right? Were we cheating? I don’t know what’s going on.”
The pain in her voice was more than anything he could bear. “We … we did make a baby together. It’s a long, complicated story. We didn’t start out by cheating. In fact, I don’t even know if you liked me all that much when we first met.”
“You don’t?”
“I was Bishop’s dad and you’ve seen me do a lot of bad things.”
“But I started to have feelings for you?”
“Robin, I can’t tell you what you felt. We were together a short time before you were taken, that’s all I know. We didn’t get into the details. There was an attraction there, but I don’t know what else to say after that.”
He ran his fingers through her hair, holding her close, never wanting to let her go.
“Did you love me?” she asked.
Preacher didn’t respond. Randall hadn’t given him these kinds of instructions for these difficult questions and he didn’t know what to fucking do with them. “I … yes, I loved, love, you.”
She tilted her head back. “Do you love me still? Or did you find someone else when I was gone?”
Chapter Nine
Her time with Reaper
Another move. Robin couldn’t remember the name of the last hotel or even where it was. They moved so often, the scenery blended into one. She hated moving more than anything and craved being back at Preacher’s house.
There still hadn’t been a sign of him, but she believed on several occasions now, he’d been close, so close. There had been only two times Reaper had moved in the middle of the night and she knew it was because Preacher was closing in and he had to try to be one step ahead.
She flicked over the page of the latest romance book he’d bought for her. He’d probably robbed a bookstore or killed whoever worked there. She wouldn’t put it past him to do the unspeakable to get what he wanted. She hated him so much.
Do you hate him?
Robin tried to cut out the memories of them together at night. Reaper was a force to be reckoned with and he knew what he was doing with his body. It had stopped being rape even though she didn’t want his touch.
Each time Reaper took her to bed, it would start out with her not wanting his touch. She hated to respond to him and what was worse, Reaper knew she couldn’t resist. He’d touch, caress, and tease her into submission, and there was nothing she could do about it.
He was the one who held all the power while she held nothing.
The only power she had over him was when she responded. She knew he was desperate for her to feel things for him. Robin had already figured out that along with trying to get her pregnant, Reaper was also trying to make her fall in love with him. It was his final piece of revenge for Preacher. If she loved Reaper, then if the time ever came for a showdown, would she allow Preacher to kill him?
Right now, she didn’t think it was possible to love him.
He’d stopped hitting her. There was no pain from his hands, and he also seemed to like her company. Whenever she asked him for something, he provided it, and he’d been a nice guy to her.
Of course, there were times she couldn’t get away from who he really was. The monster who’d killed many women during their travels. She heard the women’s screams, but she didn’t dare to venture out. Reaper had told her to never come out when she heard those screams as it would always end badly for her.
She didn’t need to be told twice to follow instructions
.
“Are you enjoying the book?” Reaper asked, coming out of the bathroom.
“It’s okay, I guess.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling on a pair of jeans, followed by some socks that had holes in, and boots. There was a knock at the door and she tensed up. She hated to hear those knocks. It either meant something had gone wrong or it was time to move.
Reaper opened the door.
“He’s here.”
“Excellent. Get him set up. I’ll be out in a minute.”
“What’s going on?” she asked, closing her book and paying attention. Whatever was about to happen, it wouldn’t be good.
“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Reaper grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head. “Come on.” He took her hand and she followed close behind him as he walked her out toward a man, who was setting something up in the parking lot of the abandoned hotel. “This here is Trick. He does the best ink all around, and well, I wanted to prove my commitment to you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Stay there.” He let go of her hand.
She didn’t try to run. His men would be given the signal to stop her, and well, she knew what battles she wanted to fight and those that were pointless.
Folding her arms, she waited, wondering what all of this was about.
“You do know ink is for life,” Trick said.
“There’s treatment to get it removed,” she said. “It’s a hard and painful procedure.” She didn’t have a clue what it entailed.
“I’m not getting rid of it. You know what I want,” Reaper said.
He winked at her, and Trick got to work, inking something over his heart. She didn’t like this one bit, and as he finished, she didn’t know how long it took, but it was a red heart, not a garish color either, one that suited the rest of the ink. Almost a dull red and in the center, was her name.
“This will show you, baby, I’m committed.” He stepped up to her, tilting her head back and kissing her. Again, she never responded to his attempts to woo her, but that didn’t seem to stop him. If anything, her determination not to respond only seemed to spur him on. Reaper wasn’t going to give up. Not until he got what he wanted. She didn’t know why he was so determined to win her over when she knew she could never love him.