by Sam Crescent
“Yes.”
“Then consider me giving you permission.”
She chuckled. “I told you I wasn’t taking your permission.”
“It has been given regardless.” He pushed some of her hair off her shoulder. He was already thinking of the men he could put on her protection detail without her even knowing it was happening. “I’ve never dated a librarian.”
“According to you, you’ve never dated. Unless you count me, of course?”
“Yeah, this is you.” He leaned down, brushing his lips across hers. “You gave me this information because you’ve got to work today, when you know I’m heading out of town.”
“Maybe. I’m heading over to see my dad later tonight. We’re going to have dinner. Did we always have dinner?”
“You were close with Bear, but not this close. Not dinner close. He spent a lot of time at the club.”
“Ah, I see.” She ran her hands down his leather cut. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too. In fact, I’m missing you already.” He tilted her chin back and stared into her eyes. “You don’t have to work, you know that?”
“I can’t go to school.”
“You still need to graduate.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know if I want to.”
“This is confusing. Graduating is part of who you are.”
“And … I don’t know.”
“What’s really bothering you when it comes to graduating?” he asked. “I know that look. There’s something else on your mind.”
“There’s a lot I can’t remember and I guess I’m worried that I won’t remember everything from before.” She stepped back. “If graduating is really important to me, I want to have the best kind of chance and the only way to do that is to, you know, remember everything.”
“What if you don’t?”
“Then I guess I’ll never graduate. Is that a problem?”
“You’re an intelligent woman. You could pass anything.”
“Thank you for your vote of confidence. It means a lot, but I won’t budge on this. I’m going to be stubborn.” She nodded her head. “Now, shouldn’t you be leaving?”
“I’m heading out, but how about I drop you off at the library?”
“Only if you promise not to go inside and threaten everyone with my safety. I want people to like me while I work, not be afraid of my boyfriend.”
“It still feels weird, you calling me that.”
“You’re my boyfriend?”
“Pretty much.”
“I don’t know. I kind of like it. You’re much older than me.” She ran her hands back up his chest.
It was these little moments that caught him off guard. The old Robin wouldn’t have been so forward with him. He liked it, but when she got her memory back, would these moments be gone?
Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he grabbed her bag and left his home. He locked the door, pocketing the keys.
She wasn’t coming back here until he returned and even though Bear was his VP, he was staying home to keep her in check, which was more than fine with him. The last thing he needed right now was to be worrying about where she was staying or who was seeing her.
Climbing onto his bike, he waited for her to straddle the machine. He revved the engine and took off, gunning toward the library. She wrapped her arms around him and held on tightly.
Fuck, he missed this.
He’d never gotten much of a chance to show her how much fun riding could be, but having her now, he didn’t want to stop.
At the sign for town, he was tempted to veer off, to take her for a long, hard ride. She wouldn’t see it as him wanting to spend time with her though, which was all he wanted to do. If work was what she needed, he’d gladly give it to her. Okay, not gladly, but reluctantly. He didn’t want her stressing out or worrying about anything unnecessarily. If she wanted a job, he’d make sure one of his men gave the library a message to keep her happy. He’d even pay for her to work there if he had to. He’d do whatever it took to make her life easier.
Arriving outside of the library, Robin climbed off the bike and held her hand out for her bag. “Thank you,” she said.
He caught her hand before she could leave. “If you are worried about anything—”
“I know. Call you or one of the guys. I got it. Please, stop worrying. I’m the one who should be warning you. You’re the one heading out into the great unknown.”
He laughed. “I’m going to do some business, hardly the same thing.”
“The secret kind of business.”
“Club business.”
“Still secret.” She stroked his cheek. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll be back before you know it.” He pulled her close, gripping her ass and not wanting to let her go. Riding away from her was always the hardest part, but he and Dog had some business down at one of the docks, and he was bringing the strength while Dog came with the savage.
She pulled away and he watched her walk into the library.
Taking out his cell phone, he arranged for Cheeky and Grind to keep an eye on her. Next, he also gave an order for Billy to also keep an ear out. With Bishop around, he had no doubt his traitorous son would try to pay her a visit. All he needed to do was make sure she was safe, and that one of his men was available to keep an eye on her.
With the instructions complete, he took off, wanting more than anything to stay close.
He joined the rest of his crew. Frost, Grave, Simple, Rider, and a few others were in the back waiting for him. Bear was staying behind as were a couple more to keep an eye on club business.
The prospects were never allowed to join in on the fun.
Taking the lead, he headed toward the location where Dog said he and his crew would be waiting to go to the docks. They arrived an hour later at an abandoned hotel. Dog was waiting with six large vans. He was pacing as Preacher approached.
“I didn’t think you were coming,” Dog said, holding out his hand.
He shook the offered hand and nodded. “Just had to take care of some business.”
“Anything you need help with?”
“Nothing important.” He wasn’t going to talk about his woman with Dog. This was private and not business. “What’s the deal?”
“The last shipment of product has been down. I spoke to my suppliers and they have all the documentation to state they packed everything.”
“They could be lying,” Preacher said. “It’s not the first time.”
“Yeah, and I’ve heard the crew at the docks have sticky fingers. They’re taking my coke before I can distribute it. They’re mixing it with some toxic shit and it’s killing kids,” Dog said. “I got contacts to say they’re also selling it for double the price and all of this bullshit will come down on me.”
“That’s a lot of information.”
“I’ve got a lot of nice friends who are willing to give me their information,” Dog said. “The deal is we go down in force. These are your docks as well. United, we’ll deal with this problem. If someone is stealing from us, then my gut is telling me whoever wants it is willing to pay a decent price. They’re doing it on purpose.”
“Then lead the way. I’ll follow,” Preacher said. He walked back to his bike.
“When did you become good pals with Dog?” Grave asked.
“Is that any of your business?”
“Men talk, Preacher. We’ve all accepted your obsession when it comes to Robin, but there’s a whole lot of us pissed off with how you handle business with Dog. From the fights and now this.”
“And who exactly has an issue?” Preacher asked. He stepped up to Grave.
“I guess we’ll find out come church time.” Grave stepped away.
Preacher was aware of his men’s lack of encouragement when it came to his dealings, but with what they were about to face, his men would understand why he was keeping Dog as an ally and not as an enemy.
He wasn’t afr
aid of Dog. The man was as vicious as they came, but what benefitted him with this friendship was having him on his side. They all had enemies and Preacher wasn’t a fool to think he could take them all on. Look what happened with Bishop. He’d been so concerned with finding Robin, he hadn’t given himself time to think of his son’s betrayal.
It had been obvious, though. He simply hadn’t seen it. There were a lot of mistakes he’d made with his son and with Robin. He wouldn’t repeat them, and he certainly wouldn’t make himself weak, even if it meant forming an alliance with Dog.
****
Working at the library was fun. Robin enjoyed it.
First, for the most part, it was quiet, which she liked. The quiet always made her feel at peace. Then of course there was being surrounded by books. She didn’t need a rocket scientist to tell her she felt at one with all the books. They were everywhere and helped her to feel calm and ready to face anything and everything.
Her first day went by way too fast, and by four o’clock, it was time for her to leave. She knew she would be asking for more hours, as the thought of spending the next two hours by herself didn’t appeal right now.
She’d told her father she was finishing at six.
Yes, a small lie, but she needed the peace, wanted it even. Only now, being on her own, she had to wonder how wise it actually was. Not because she was afraid or anything. Being alone wasn’t a problem. She didn’t mind it, in fact.
No, it was the complete lack of memories. The knowledge people were waiting for her to figure out the life she once had. A life she could no longer remember.
Grabbing her bag, she made her way out of the library and went straight toward the diner where she’d ordered herself a burrito to go. She was hungry and it was the first thing that came to mind. She paid for the food and headed out to walk down the long stretch of the street. There were several shops. One for clothing, another offering fabric, each one seeming to offer a special something or a trinket. None of the shops sparked anything within her.
She came to a stop near a park. It was quite busy and she watched the children playing, feeling a yearning within her, but again, she didn’t know why. Everything was always a little unclear to her.
Shaking her head, she finished her burrito and came to a stop near a church.
There was a cemetery off to the side.
Did she like going to church?
Staring up at the large, imposing building, again, she felt nothing. Rather than head back to the library, she walked into the cemetery. Some of the dates on the stones were old, and as she moved around, she saw some with recent dates.
Walking up and down the paths, she tried to find her mother’s, only she came to the end without finding her. She returned and followed the same path.
Nothing. No sign of her parent.
She hadn’t seen a picture of Rebecca. Only the name of her mother, but there was no marker on any of the stones to say where her mother’s final resting place was.
This … unsettled her.
Checking the time, she saw she only had twenty minutes to head back to the library. Picking up her pace, she ran back to the library and was relieved to see no sign of her father. He hadn’t arrived yet.
There were three benches nearby, two of which already had people waiting. The third was empty and she took a seat to wait. It was here Randall found her.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Randall said.
“I’m waiting for my dad.” She checked the time. “Who is ten minutes late.”
“I’d give him a call. If I know your dad, then I know he’s forgotten or hasn’t looked at the time recently.”
“Oh, right.” She searched in her bag for her cell phone. When she found it, she quickly sent her dad a text. Preacher had given her the phone in case of emergencies, but she didn’t use it, not all the time. In fact, that was her very first text message.
“You can call him.”
“It’s okay.” She tucked some hair behind her ear.
“How have you been?”
“I’ve been good.”
“The foot?”
“It’s doing okay. I mean, every now and then I’m in pain and I can’t wear heels yet.” She had tried, but to no avail. The pain wasn’t worth wearing them.
“And your hand?”
She held her hand out and gave it a stretch. “It’s still attached.”
Randall laughed. “Yes, it’s looking good. What brings you out here?”
“I’m working.” She told him about the job at the library.
“Preacher allowed that?”
“As I told him, I wasn’t asking for permission. He wanted me to take up shopping. I don’t even know if I like shopping.”
“That sounds like him. All he wants is for you to do something to make you happy.”
“I don’t know what makes me happy anymore. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t unload on you like this.”
“It’s fine.”
“Is it, really? I don’t think it is. Forget about it.”
“Robin, you’ve had a lot going on in your life. No one will blame you for trying to make the best kind of go of it as possible. Even I wouldn’t.”
“Half of the time, I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said. “Then of course I think I’m going crazy.”
“Talk to me about these moments.”
She chuckled. “Are you a shrink now as well?”
“No, I’m your doctor and you haven’t been by to see me in some time. I know this can be quite difficult for you.”
“I don’t know. I think it’s easier if I just try to forget about them.”
“Try me. There can’t be anything wrong with sharing your worries and concerns now, can there?”
“I don’t know, it seems kind of pointless to me.”
“The only pointlessness about all of this is if you’re not willing to give it a try,” he said. “I may not be able to help you, but what’s the harm in finding out?”
She released a breath, running her fingers through her hair. “Okay, you’re right. You’re totally right. I can’t say specifically when it happens, but it’s like I hear a voice. A man’s voice. Someone I know. It’s not Preacher or my dad, or even Bishop’s. It’s another man’s voice.”
“Does it make you afraid?”
“No. In fact, it makes me feel like I’ve got to remember. Like there’s something I’m missing and it’s really important for me to know what it is and why.”
“And if you don’t remember?” Randall asked.
“Then I’m missing something vital. I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense.” She put a hand to her stomach. “I get a twisting in my gut and this need to know my past. All of it. At the same time, I don’t know if I can even handle whatever it is that’s out there, you know?” She nibbled her lip. “I’m so confused about everything, and none of it makes any sense.”
“I don’t know what kind of life you had while you were gone, but it sounds like your past life is trying to make you remember.”
“How do I speed it up?” she asked.
“These things you can’t speed up. All you can hope to do is wait.”
This didn’t help. “I don’t think I have much time.”
“Robin, what do you think will happen if you don’t remember soon?” Randall asked.
She opened her mouth and closed it. “I don’t know.” She looked past Randall’s shoulder to see her father running toward them. She had never been so thankful to see him before. “That’s my dad. I better go to him.”
“Robin, it’s going to be okay.”
“I wish I believed you.” She also wished she hadn’t told him. “Please, don’t say anything to Preacher. I don’t want him to worry. He’s got enough on his plate without throwing my troubles his way.”
“He cares about you.”
“I know and I care about him, but there are some things he doesn’t need to know. This is one of them.” She left Randall and met her father.
“It’s all good.”
“You’re sure? I saw Randall. Do you still go to see him?”
“He was passing by. We talked. It’s all fine.” She didn’t want to talk anymore. She’d spoken enough.
“How about I order us some pizza?” he asked.
“I’d like that.”
They walked to the pizza place. She let her father order her some food, and once they had their order, they walked back to his truck. She rested the boxed pizzas on her lap and waited.
They rode in silence and she thought about what Randall said. Would he tell Preacher about her conversation with him?
She honestly didn’t know. She knew he was good friends with Preacher as well. They had a trust.
“You’re quiet,” Bear said.
“It’s nothing.”
“How was work?”
“Fine. I enjoyed it. I want to do more.”
“I was thinking I could get in touch with the principal if you’d like. Find your old records and you could finish off your exams. You know, graduate.”
“I told Preacher I would wait until all my memories returned. I don’t know how much I remember from my high school days.” She seemed to be repeating herself today. “I went to the cemetery today,” she said.
“You did?”
“I was waiting for you. I got a little bored and so I went for a walk. There’s no stone with mom’s name on it. Where did you bury her?” she asked.
“You sure had a lot of spare time on your hands to go to the cemetery.”
“I finished early. I was wondering why Mom wasn’t there.”
She stared at her dad and he didn’t answer right away.
They arrived at home, and she went straight to the dining room. Opening up the pizza box, she grabbed a large slice and took a bite.
“I can’t tell you what happened to your mom,” Bear said.
“Why not?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know.”
She frowned. “You’re not making any sense.”
“Your mother … she’s gone and she’s not coming back. You’ll never find her body, and there’s no way of you ever … knowing where she is. Ever.”