by Sam Crescent
“I’m trying to be strong for myself,” she said. What if the man wasn’t even there? Was she thinking things up now? Trying to create a life where it was easy? None of this made any sense to her.
Preacher cupped her face, tilting her head back. He brushed his lips across hers. “It’s going to be okay. All you need to do is rest and it will be fine.”
“Rest. Right. Rest. Then of course there’s the party.”
“I can cancel it. It was supposed to be fun but I don’t want you stressing out about this.”
“No, no. It’ll be fine. It should be fun, right? I can handle some fun. Dancing. Drinking. I can handle it.” She dropped her head to his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. “Please, Preacher, take me home.”
She asked for home, but she didn’t know where home really was.
****
“Is she okay?” Bear asked.
Preacher looked back upstairs and shook his head. “I don’t know anymore.”
“There was no sign of the guy she spoke of,” Bear said. “I’ve called Randall and he doesn’t know of anyone who manifests dreams like this. You’re saying she has dreamed about this and told you about it.”
“No. She has spoken within her dreams of Slaves to the Beasts and of a girl, Bethany.”
“You ever thought it might be her wish to have had a baby girl with you who she hoped to name Bethany?”
“No. I don’t know. Fuck. I … I thought we had him today.”
“Preacher, let’s say he was there. He didn’t go into the supermarket and disappear. Reaper’s not stupid. We keep treating him like he is, but he knows where all these cameras are. He knows everything there is to know about all of this. What if he and Robin had a daughter?”
“No, I won’t accept that. There’s no way she had a fucking kid with him. Not … not willingly. I won’t accept that.” He didn’t want to even think about her and Reaper together.
“Two years is a long time.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I’ve lived those two fucking years every single day. I know how long it is. I know how useless each fucking lead has been, and Reaper, he’s not clever.”
“We haven’t caught him.”
“Because he has always been one step ahead of the game. Bishop. For two years, he fucking played me. The little prick. When I get my hands on him, I’ll kill him.”
“Has Reaper called you since?” Bear asked.
“No.”
“Think about his message.”
Preacher didn’t want to think. “I thought you were on my side.”
“He said Robin may not have been running away from him. We’ve all been acting like Robin is the victim, but what if she isn’t? What if she really likes Reaper?”
“No. If she liked Reaper and wanted to be with him, she would only do it to make good out of a bad situation.” Preacher ran a hand down his face. He was wound so tightly right now, and he couldn’t think.
Robin was passed out upstairs.
Reaper was out there somewhere.
Bishop was as well.
Yet the key to finding both men was locked within a woman who didn’t know shit.
“When I find the both of them, I’m going to hurt them in ways they could never imagine.”
“I hope you’re right.” Bear stood. “What will you do if Robin is in love with Reaper?”
“Not going to happen.”
Preacher stared at his friend and Bear looked sad. “I hope you’re right, for your sake.”
****
The party was in full swing.
Robin had smiled where appropriate. Accepted hugs and kisses. She’d done the good-girl routine, and now she sat outside, enjoying the cold night air and sipping at a bottle of beer. Since her and Preacher’s disagreement at the supermarket, it had been tense between them. He hadn’t come to bed, and part of her hadn’t wanted him to. Things were a mess and she didn’t have a single clue as to how to fix them.
People kept looking at her, waiting for those precious memories to just fall from her, and like so many times before, she had failed. Failing was something she should be used to.
She drank her beer and took a second one. It was her birthday. She only got to turn twenty-one once, and she was going to celebrate it in style.
“I’ve got to say the beer thing is a new look for you,” Joanne said, approaching the bench where she sat.
“The beer?”
“The beer, the hair, the makeup. The old Robin wouldn’t have dressed up. Not after what Milly did to her.” Joanne slapped a hand across her mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’m not supposed to talk to you about those kinds of things.”
“Are you even supposed to be talking to me at all?” Robin asked, feeling bitter.
“I can go.”
“No, no, I didn’t mean … sorry. I sounded like a bitch then and it really wasn’t what I meant.” She’d reached out to stop Joanne from leaving.
She didn’t want Bear or Preacher to approach or one of the other men to ask her how she was feeling. “I’m used to people avoiding me, or looking out for Preacher and my dad, and you know, not really giving me the whole truth. I didn’t know if people had been ordered to stay away from me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Wow, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say Robin is closer than you think.”
“She is?”
“Robin is a nice girl. She’s considerate and kind. It’s why she was the complete opposite of Bishop. Even when he was sleeping around. You didn’t care. You’ve always been a nice girl, Robin.”
“Robin. That name again.” She breathed in deeply. “Sorry, I’m struggling with a lot these days. I think I just want to forget everything.”
“Drinking does help, but I will warn you, the day after, not such a good idea. You will regret drinking so much.”
“Were we friends?” she asked. “Is that why you’re so nice to me?”
“No, we weren’t friends. We weren’t even close. Your mother didn’t like me but that could be because I was sleeping with your father whenever he was looking in my direction.”
“I’m sorry, but ew.”
Joanne laughed. “It’s fine.”
She had tried to set him up with Anne at the library, but Bear wasn’t budging on dating. He didn’t want to be with anyone and Anne still had her cheating ass of a husband, whom Robin had gotten to meet when he came to the library.
He was a good-looking man, but she didn’t see the appeal all the other women clearly did.
“We weren’t close, but we weren’t enemies either. I wish I had looked out for you more. You’ve never been a horrible person so when you got pregnant and then lost the baby, I was always sad for you. After the baby, you looked so lost, so miserable. I remember wanting to just give you a hug. Everything had returned to normal around you, but you, you were lost.”
Robin sighed. “I don’t remember any of it. I don’t know at times if not remembering it is even better than remembering it. It sounds so … horrible.”
“It was,” Joanne said. “It really was.”
She finished her beer. “I need to go use the bathroom.”
“I’m going to see if Bear wants any of my company tonight.” Joanne winked at her and Robin winced. This was the kind of information she really, really didn’t need to know. Her father getting action wasn’t on her list of priorities.
Getting to her feet, she put the empty bottle in the trash can on her way past, heading inside the main clubhouse.
It was so busy, and she saw the bathroom was full. She left the main room and headed up to the living quarters. She came to a stop outside of Bishop’s old room. She couldn’t remember if he had a bathroom in his room or if it was just Preacher’s room.
Putting her hand on the door, she paused, feeling a wave of sickness wash over her. She needed to use the bathroom, and being afraid of a room was pointless.
She pushed on the door, stepping inside.
The heavy scent of l
eather, dust, and something else. She stood frozen, looking around, and like flashes coming through her mind’s eye, Robin stopped.
Her life coming together as she remembered the argument in his room. Bishop sat getting head while she watched, not long after she lost the baby. Touching her stomach, she saw Preacher, smiling down at her as he made love to her. The anger in his eyes at Bishop. O’Klaren. The night she was taken. The rape. The beatings. The ink. The falling in love.
All of it. Past Robin and present Robin coming together to form herself again.
Tears filled her eyes with the memories. They had all been locked inside her, trying to get out and now that they were, she was scared. She swiped the tears as they fell down her cheeks.
Bishop’s room never had a bathroom. He was never allowed an en-suite.
Bishop. That traitorous, fucking bastard. Even without her memories, he’d been trying to hurt her.
Turning on her heel, she made her way downstairs. Just moments ago, the crowd had been too much, but now, it was like old times.
Opening the door, she looked around the room, focusing on each person. There were a couple of new faces, but she was searching for Preacher. He wasn’t there.
Pushing her way through the crowd, she made her way outside. Joanne sat on Bear’s lap. Preacher sat beside him, beer in hand, laughing at something one of the men had said.
Without thinking, she walked over to Preacher, straddled his lap, sank her fingers into his hair, and kissed him, hard, passionately, desperately, filled with hunger, shame, and guilt. For a long time, she’d craved this man’s touch, wanted him more than anyone else, but that was all mixed with another new feeling.
Pulling away, she looked into his eyes. People had grown silent around her.
“Robin?” Preacher asked.
That was right. The old Robin would never have gone up to her man, kissed him passionately in front of his club. She didn’t have the experience the new Robin did.
“Hello, Preacher,” she said. “Miss me?”
“What?” Bear said.
She turned her head, smiling at her dad. “Hey, Dad. So, you finally killed Mom. What did she do this time?”
“Your memories?” Preacher asked.
She got off Preacher’s lap. “They’re here. They’re all here.” She touched her head. “Every single one.” She licked her lips.
Today, she had seen Reaper. He’d been at the supermarket, and so had … their daughter. She couldn’t let her anger or fear ride over this.
Staring at the man she loved, she forced a smile to her lips.
“How did this happen?” Preacher asked, getting to his feet.
“Bishop’s room. I don’t know what it was about the room, but it clearly triggered whatever I needed because they’re all back. I remember everything. Milly, the baby, Bishop, O’Klaren, all of it. I remember being taken, and … I know what happened just before the car hit me.”
“Wait, you haven’t forgotten the last year as well now, have you?” Joanne asked.
“No, that’s still there.” She pushed some hair off her face. “We need to get to Bishop. There’s a lot he knows and it’s time for him to know that I remember what he did.”
“So, he did have something to do with you and Reaper?” Preacher asked.
“Oh, he made sure I was taken, and I know for a fact he gave Reaper clues when you were close.” She looked at Preacher and was torn. “We … we need to talk.”
“Sure, yes. Now?”
“Why not? It’s my birthday. We really need to figure things out. Too much time has been wasted already.”
****
Preacher saw the nerves filling up Robin. He couldn’t believe she remembered everything and yet, was still standing. Still being able to function.
They entered his office and she looked around.
“Do you want to tell me what’s going on and why you haven’t collapsed into a heap, scared and upset?”
“It’s because I’m not. There’s a lot you don’t know.”
“And you’re going to fill in all the blanks for me?”
“First, I want to tell you that I do love you. I also know you shared a lot with me when I didn’t remember who I was and for that, I’m grateful.”
“Cut to the chase here, Robin. You’re not exactly behaving how I imagined you would. If you’ve remembered everything, where are the tears?”
“I’m not broken, Preacher. I haven’t lost myself. For two years, I was able to deal with the pain. I can focus and get past whatever I’ve been through to move on.” She pressed her lips together.
“It’s exactly my point. You were a mess when you were in the hospital. Broken bones, beaten up. You were gone for two years from my side, and you’re acting like nothing was wrong.”
Tears filled her eyes and something twisted in his gut. He didn’t know what to do.
“Because, Preacher, I didn’t have the worst two years of my life.” The tears fell but she didn’t make a move to wipe them away. “I … I fell in love.”
Chapter Sixteen
Her time with Reaper
“We’re going to a nightclub?” Robin asked, looking at the long line. Only a couple of men from Reaper’s club were with them, and Reaper had also removed his leather cut. He only ever did that if they were moving through towns that were known to Preacher or with potential contacts.
“We sure are.”
“Why?”
“Because I want you to experience as much fun as possible,” Reaper said, placing his hand on her stomach.
She couldn’t help but smile. “And a nightclub will do that? I can’t even drink.”
“No, but we can have some fun.”
Reaper took her hand, leading the way to the front of the line. She was nervous as she heard grumbles from the men and women as they passed. She didn’t want Reaper to get into a fight.
He paid the man at the front and they were in the club without a single fist thrown. She felt a little more relaxed as they made their way inside. The music was heavy, thick. The bar was crowded. There were so many people all around, but Reaper didn’t just lurk, he took her straight to the VIP section, paying the guard once again, gaining them access. His men were already off searching for women, so it was just her and Reaper looking down over the dance floor.
“I figured you’d prefer to watch for a little bit before we went and joined in on the crazy.”
Reaper held her chair out for her and she sat down, laughing as she caught sight of Reaper’s men dancing, but it wasn’t a sexy dance either.
“I love to hear you laugh,” Reaper said. “Since we’ve found out about the baby, you’ve been … quiet.”
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
“Are you thinking about Preacher?” he asked.
“Yes, no, not in the way you think. The last baby, I didn’t … I’m worried is all.”
“You know I won’t let anyone hurt you, right?”
“I know. Preacher promised the same thing, so forgive me for still being a little on the worried side.” She put her hand to her stomach, not even a little surprised she was expecting. The warning signs came with the morning sickness and tender breasts. There was no other indication, but it wasn’t like she and Reaper had been using condoms.
“O’Klaren has been taken care of,” Reaper said. “I’ll never leave your side.”
“You’ll be a permanent fixture.”
“I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”
“What about a dad?” she asked.
“I’m going to be here.”
“Yeah, but we move all the time. I … unless I’m sick, we’re constantly moving around. One hotel, empty abandoned building, or something else. There’s never any stability and I don’t think this is very good for the baby.” She put a hand on her stomach.
“You’re wanting to settle down?”
“I don’t want my baby to be screaming for a feed if we’re having to keep on riding.” She ran her fingers through
her hair. “I’m sorry. I guess the excitement has worn off, and now I’m at the stage where fear and worry have settled in.”
“You don’t have to be afraid.”
“I don’t? We don’t stay in one place. Raising a child, a baby like this, it’s not practical. I want to be happy and positive, but how can I be? Especially when all of this was for revenge.”
“I love you,” Reaper said.
This made her drop the glass.
Several waiters came to assist with the broken glass, and she was still shaking from his revelation. She thanked them all for their help before turning toward Reaper. “What?”
“I’m in love with you. I know this started out as … revenge. I wanted to hurt you and I did. You have no idea how much I regret harming you. You didn’t deserve it. I’m in love with you and there’s no way I would ever want to hurt you.” He took hold of her hand. “This baby, it’s a chance for us. I never thought I wanted to be a father, but with you, I want it all. It’s why I’m looking into buying a house, settling down. We’ll be surrounded by the club, and I’m already making contacts to secure our life. I want you to be happy.”
“What about you?” she asked.
“What about me?”
“The road. The club. Never settling down. I don’t want you to give up all of this for me.”
“I’m giving it all up because you’re worth more than a few stretches of open road. Robin, you’ve given me a chance to feel something I never knew existed. I’m in love with you, and that’s not something I’m ever going to find alone on the open road. I want to share the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you.”
“You can’t marry me. Not … not without getting a divorce from Bishop.”
“I’ll take care of that little shit. Don’t you worry.”
“It’s kind of hard not to. He helped you.”
“And he’ll know what to do to deal with me. I can end his miserable existence, if you ask me to do it. It’ll be quite easy to do as well.”