by Pamela Clare
"I need to see you."
"Where are you?"
"Standing in the hallway outside your door."
She managed not to run the few steps it took to reach it. "What are you doing out there?"
'Trying to be patient."
Her pulse quickening, she unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door to find Julian standing in his black leather jacket, dark stubble on his jaw, his face lined with exhaustion.
He stepped inside, shut the door behind him, drew her into his arms. "God, Tessa, honey, I've missed you!"
"I missed you, too!" She buried her face against his neck. "I'm so glad you're safe!"
Julian felt emotion coursing through Tessa, held her tighter. "It's all right."
For a while they stood there, Julian reluctant to let her go. It seemed forever since he'd last seen her, last held her, last touched her.
It was she who finally ended the embrace. She took his jacket, hung it in the closet, offered him a cup of hot tea. Dressed in a silky pink nightgown, her hair tousled from sleep, she looked adorably innocent and feminine. But there were still bruises on her cheek—a reminder of how close he'd come to losing her.
"What are you doing out so late? It's nearly two a.m."
"I just got in from D.C."
Julian sat at the kitchen table and, like a coward, resorted to small talk while she set water on to boil. Uneventful flights both ways. Decent weather for this time of year. Lots of paperwork. "The feds make you fill out forms in triplicate every time you wipe your ass."
'The Federal Bureau of Obfuscation." She set two cups of hot water and several kinds of tea bags down on the table, a smile on her pretty face. But her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, and he could tell she'd been crying.
He couldn't blame her. She'd been through hell.
"It really is over, Tessa." He reached out, took her hand, and held it as he told her what had happened after he'd left her side—how he'd helped the tech team to interpret what they'd found in Burien's computer, coordinating with other law enforcement agencies, making sure provisions were made to care for victims at the scene.
She listened, asked a few questions. "When I read how many cities were involved, how many places, I couldn't believe that you'd managed it in four days."
"We had to move fast, before word got out that Burien was dead. Having his computer files made all the difference. Without those, we'd have spent months tracking down leads."
"Chief Irving told me you'd found Maria's three friends. I'm so glad."
Julian nodded. "One of our teams found them in Engle-wood. Their parents are on their way here to get them."
"Chief Irving says you deserve a medal. I think he's right."
"He says that about you, too." But Julian hadn't come here to talk about his job. "How did your article turn out?"
You didn't come to talk about her job, either, dumbass.
She took a sip of tea, set her cup down. "I guess we'll see tomorrow. I think it's solid. I hope it opens people's eyes."
Julian nodded, traced the silk of her knuckles with his thumb. "It will."
"All day I've been wondering what it must be like to have your life stolen—and then suddenly to get it back again." She looked at him through eyes filled with sorrow for other people's misery. 'Think of the parents who learned today that the daughter they thought was dead is still alive. Think of the girls who are going home to start their lives over. I can't imagine it will be easy for them, but at least they have a chance. You gave them that chance, Julian."
'Tessa…" He stood, walked the length of the small kitchen, stopped, his back to her. "Jesus, I don't know how to do this."
"Julian?"
Just do it. Just say it.
"A month ago, if you'd told me Burien would be dead and his operation shut down, I wouldn't have believed you." He turned to face her. "I'd been hunting him for so long that the chase itself became my life. When he escaped, I took the blame. I thought my poor judgment had given him a break and gotten those agents killed."
She rose, walked over to him, slipped her arms around him, offering him tenderness as she always did. "That was Margaux's doing, not yours. I suppose it will take you a while to get used to that fact."
"Yeah." He kissed her hair, stroked it. "In a way, I feel like I'm starting my life over, too. I want to do it right this time, Tessa. I want—"
She stepped back from him, a tear rolling down her cheek. 'There's no baby, Julian."
It took him a moment to understand what she'd just told him, and the intensity of his own disappointment took him completely by surprise. "You're not pregnant?"
"I got my period this morning." She gave him a shaky smile, another tear following the first. "You're free to build whatever life you want, to go wherever you want."
And then he understood.
He reached for her and pulled her against him. "No, Tessa, I'm not free. There's this little problem of how much I love you."
She stared up at him, eyes wide. "Y-you… what?"
"You don't need a baby to keep me close." His throat grew tight, his voice strained, raw emotion pushing through him. "I love you, Tessa. God help us both, but I do."
Tessa almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd steeled herself for the moment he found out she wasn't pregnant, for the moment he told her his work in Denver was done and it was time for him to move on. She hadn't been expecting this. "Julian, I—"
He held a finger to her lips. "Do you know why I went to D.C. today?"
Had he told her? She tried to remember. "To fill out paperwork in triplicate?"
"Yes." He grinned, then his expression grew grave. "And to resign—for good. Irving offered me a position heading up his vice unit, and I accepted. Being a special agent doesn't go together well with trying to keep a pretty wife safe and happy."
Tessa's heart gave a leap, nearly broke through her chest. "What are you saying?"
He drew in a breath, looked at his feet, then back at her. "I know I'm no woman's idea of the perfect husband. I'm a convict and a killer. I've got a bad temper and no real education. I swear too much. I've got no roots, no family. Hell, I don't even know what family is."
Tessa touched her hand to his cheek. "You're strong, brave, protective—"
"So is a Doberman."
She started to object, but he stilled her again.
"I never planned to get married. I never even thought about it. But you touched me, Tessa. Somehow, you broke through me. You showed me something in myself I'd never seen before. You taught me what it is to feel at home. Do you know I'd never felt at home anyplace until you?"
"Never?" She couldn't imagine that.
"Never." His knuckles grazed her cheek, the look in his midnight-blue eyes achingly tender. "You burned through my life and changed everything. I love you, and if you'll give me a chance, I'll do my best to become the man you deserve."
"Oh, Julian!" Tears of happiness spilling down her cheeks, Tessa stood on her toes and kissed him. "You already are that man."
Epilogue
Tessa sat on the front porch with Kara, the two of them sipping southern sweet tea and watching their husbands discuss Monday's special Senate committee hearing, in which Julian was to play a major role.
"I chair the committee, so I'll introduce the bill and give you about ten to fifteen minutes to address the senators," Reece explained, looking anything but senatorial in a grubby T-shirt, cutoffs, and sandals. "Then I'll open it up to questions. It's hard to say how long that part of your testimony will last—probably half an hour to an hour."
In the aftermath of Operation Abolish and in response to Tessa's investigation, Reece had forced the state legislature into special session, introducing an emergency bill that would create a statewide human-trafficking taskforce, training law enforcement at all levels to address the crime. The bill also set aside funds for programs to aid homeless youth and to rehabilitate trafficking victims. It was a bold bill, and the Denver Independent had
thrown its editorial weight behind the measure.
"Remember to address me as Mr. Chairman and to refer your answers to me," Reece added. "The other members of the committee are referred to as 'Senator So-and-So.'"
"Got it." Julian wore an old pair of jeans and an equally grubby T-shirt, his hair loose around his shoulders, his expression serious. He looked younger these days, happier, the hard lines of his face seeming to have softened. "Will the hearing be open to the public?"
"Yes," Reece nodded, "and you can expect a media circus."
"He isn't nervous, is he?" Kara whispered, reaching for her hungry baby, who had begun to fuss in Tessa's arms.
Tessa gave four-week-old Brendan a kiss on his downy head and reluctantly handed him back to his mother. "Are you kidding? Julian's terrified. This is completely new to him."
She looked over at the man she loved, felt something swell inside her. So much was new to Julian. In the past seven months, he'd gone from living in the shadows to owning a home, from being a loner to having a doting mother-in-law and a circle of close friends, from having no love in his life to having a wife. He'd gone from special agent to police detective, and he'd done it more smoothly than Tessa could have imagined.
That's not to say there hadn't been problems. It was taking time for Julian to get used to making decisions as two people instead of just one. He was so protective of Tessa that it sometimes got on her nerves. He still swore too much. And then there was his tendency toward secrecy. Tessa could understand encrypting information about their bank accounts and credit cards. But their gym membership?
Still, Julian never let her doubt for a moment that he cherished her, proving his love in so many ways. In the kindness he showed her mother and Frank, who were getting married in June. In the respect he demonstrated for her unfolding career. In the way he listened when she needed to talk. In his skill with the espresso machine. In the way he made delicious love to her at night—and any other time of the day, if the opportunity arose.
Tessa hadn't dreamed she'd ever feel this content, so many pieces of her life fitting perfectly together. Although it had been hard to leave the I-Team, she couldn't very well keep the cop beat when her husband was a member of the force. Like Kara, she'd opted to go the freelance route, doing investigative articles for national magazines and writing nonfiction books. Working freelance made it possible for her to be home during the day, to arrange her own schedule, and to spend more time with Julian.
She spent no small amount of that time worrying about him. His job was still too dangerous to suit her. Late-night surveillance. No-knock raids. Too much time on the streets. But it was a far cry from the sort of soul-shredding deep-cover work he'd done for the FBI, and he seemed to enjoy it. He and Chief Irving butted heads fairly often, but he seemed to enjoy that, too. The two of them had grown close, Chief Irving becoming a kind of father figure for Julian, even standing up with him at their wedding. Of course, if Reece's bill was signed into law, Julian would spend more time training other cops than working on the streets—which was just another reason Tessa wanted it to pass.
But Reece and Kara hadn't come over on their Saturday just so that Reece could coach Julian on Monday's testimony. Reece was also here to help Julian paint the trim. Lissy and Will would soon be joining them.
The historic Victorian house they'd bought had needed a fair amount of work, and painting the trim and the old picket fence was the last of it. The trim would be finished today, and Tessa hoped the fence would get done soon. It was more gray than white, the paint having chipped away to leave splinters. Some of the planks had come loose and leaned sideways like crooked teeth. It would take a lot of work to repair it—far more work than to have a landscaper install a new one—but for some reason Julian insisted on keeping and restoring it.
Maybe Tessa could ask Kara to nudge Reece into offering to help.
"Probably most of the objections you'll face will be from senators who don't believe trafficking is a big enough problem in the state to warrant legislative action," Reece said.
Julian shook his head as if unable to believe such nonsense. "I think I can handle those objections with no problem. We both agree that Tessa isn't testifying, correct?"
Reece looked over at Tessa. "Are you all right with that, Tess?"
Julian met Tessa's gaze. "You're not testifying. I don't want you to go through that again. You've been through enough."
Tessa had been a witness at several trafficking trials, including John Wyatt's. Having to. describe her ordeal in the courtroom had reawakened her nightmares and left her feeling shaky for a week. "I'll do whatever you need me to do to ensure the bill passes."
Reece stood, walked over to Kara, and kissed Brendan on his fuzzy dark hair. "I think we've got it covered."
"Shall we get started?" Julian rose, glanced at his watch.
The men walked toward the side of the house—just as Lissy and Will pulled up in front.
"Slacker!" Reece shouted to Will. "We were supposed to get started an hour ago. Where've you been?"
Will grinned, helping Lissy lift the infant seat out of their car. "William didn't want to wake up from his nap."
"Sure," said Julian, "blame the baby."
While the men got down to the business of paint and ladders, Lissy joined Kara and Tessa on the porch, looking stunning in a designer sundress, ten-week-old William wide awake and sucking on a pacifier.
Tessa scooped the baby up, kissed his pudgy cheek. "You look just like your daddy. I wonder if you'll grow up to be a football star."
"So, Tessa, I can't help but notice the way you've been fawning over babies lately. When are you and Julian going to have one of your own?" Kara asked, Brendan nursing drowsily at her breast, his hands bunched into tiny fists.
"We're waiting." Tessa adjusted William in her arms. "As much as we both want a baby, we also want a little time together first. Julian's had to adapt to so many changes in his life. I didn't want to make it harder on him by having a baby too soon. In July, we're taking that trip to Ireland to meet his mother's aunt. We plan to start trying when we get home."
While the men painted and sweated in the late-spring sunshine, Tessa and her friends chatted and started making salads and other treats for supper. They were in the middle of a discussion about the nonfiction book Tessa was writing on trafficking victims—she and Julian had flown to Mexico last month and met Maria Ruiz's family—when Sophie parked her Toyota out front and she and Holly strolled up the walk, each carrying a lawn chair.
"We heard the guys were painting your trim today," Sophie said.
"You came to help." Tessa opened the screen door to let them in. "Bless your hearts!"
"Oh, no! We're not here to help. Are you nuts?" Holly unfolded her chair in the middle of the lawn and sat. "We're here for the scenery."
Tessa gaped at them, not sure whether to laugh or feel irritated.
Lissy looked out the window. "Are they ogling our husbands again?"
"Let's join them," said Kara, smiling.
Julian looked down from the roof to find five pairs of sunglasses staring up at them, as if painting trim were a women's spectator sport. "Are they always like this?"
"Yes," Reece and Will said together, smiling.
Reece pulled his shirt over his head, dropped it to the ground below. "Personally, I enjoy being treated like a sex symbol— especially by my wife."
"Think of it as an investment." Will took off his shirt, as well, displaying his football-player physique. "You'll reap the benefits in the bedroom tonight."
Julian grinned. "All right then, boys—let's work it."
He pulled off his shirt, picked up his bottle of water and drank, letting it spill down his throat and over his bare chest.
From below, he thought he heard Holly groan.
By late afternoon, the work was done, the mess cleaned up, and the tools put away. Steaks were sizzling on the grill, and the women had set out a cooler of cold beer and other edibles to tide them a
ll over till dinner.
"I guess all you have left is that old picket fence." Reece took a deep drink of his beer. "It could use some sanding, a few nails, and a couple coats of paint. I can pop by next weekend, and we can take care of that in a few hours."
"Thanks." Julian let his gaze travel the length of the worn fence. "I'll handle it."
"Are you sure? It's no problem."
"Thanks, Reece, but it's kind of my pet project. I've been saving it for last."
Dinner passed with laughter and conversation, continuing until after dark. Several times Julian got an odd feeling that he'd somehow stumbled into someone else's happy life. It was a feeling he got a lot these days. But Tessa was there beside him, her presence, her touch, the sound of her voice grounding him, making it real.
They saw their friends off together, walking them to their front gate, Tessa's fingers laced with his, her hand silky and warm. As the cars drove away, she glanced down at the fence and then up at him—and her eyes narrowed.
"Kara says you turned down Reece's help painting the fence."
Julian nodded. "It's something I want to do myself."
"What is it about you and this fence?"
Julian drew her into his arms, tried to find the words. "I guess a white picket fence stands for all the things I thought I'd never have and didn't deserve—a home, a wife, a family. Now it's a reminder to me never to take a single day for granted."
"Oh, Julian!" Tessa sniffed, her pretty eyes misting over. "And to me it was only a splintery old fence!"
"Well, it is a splintery old fence, but it's our splintery old fence."
Julian held her in the stillness, drinking in her scent, savoring the moment—the distant hum of the city, a hint of summer on the mountain breeze, a lazy quarter moon overhead.
"You know that stunt you pulled this afternoon where you let water pour down your bare chest?" Tessa slid a hand beneath his T-shirt.
"Mmm-hmm." He nuzzled her hair, his blood heating up.
Finally they were getting to the benefits Will had mentioned.
She ran her fingers through his chest hair. "It reminded me that it's been a while since we made proper use of our shower massager."