A Cowgirl at Heart

by Christine Lynxwiler

  “I know. I tell myself that all the time. But he’s been Allie’s little brother our whole lives. And that’s exactly how I saw him until a few years ago.”

  “But that’s not how you think of him now?”

  “Not at all,” Victoria drawled.

  “Then I’d start by telling him how you feel.”

  “If I did that, he wouldn’t be happy just being friends anymore.” Victoria’s smile was trembly.

  Elyse was pretty sure Adam wasn’t happy being friends, regardless, but she didn’t say anything.

  Victoria’s smile slowly faded. “I’m not sure I can face what people will think.” She picked up her coffee cup.

  Elyse couldn’t believe it. Victoria was one of the strongest women she’d ever known. “What would your life be like with Adam?”

  Victoria stared at her, her cup halfway to her mouth. “What do you mean?” She set the cup down without drinking.

  “Would you and Dylan be happier if Adam was in your family?”

  A laugh bubbled out of Victoria’s sculptured mouth. “Definitely.”

  Elyse could see her friend was considering her advice. She pressed on. “Do you think God sees anything wrong with you and Adam marrying ... with the age difference between you?”

  Victoria’s eyebrows shot up. “What? No, of course not.”

  “Then why would Allie?”

  “But telling her...” Victoria’s voice drifted off.

  “If you let Adam know how you feel first, the two of you can tell your friends together, including his sister.”

  “You make it sound so easy.”

  Elyse smiled at her. She, of all people, knew it wasn’t easy. “It won’t be easy. But it’ll be worth it.”

  Victoria took a sip of her coffee and squared her shoulders. “I’m going to do it. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  “Be sure you do.”

  ***

  Andrew looked up from the pencil sketch he was working on. The 4-H meeting had been over for forty-five minutes. He knew she’d seen him when she pulled into the parking lot. Was she trying to wait him out?

  He snorted softly. She’d have to do better than this. He was in it for the long haul. As a friend, of course.

  He glanced at the drawing balanced against the steering wheel. It was time well spent, anyway. Funny how getting something on paper helped him to get it out of his mind. He ran his finger over the rough sketch of Elyse, a hat perched on her head and her dogs playing beside her. He’d already titled it. With any luck, by the time he actually painted it, he’d be able to accept whatever the future held for them.

  Suddenly there she was in person. He watched her walk out of Coffee Central, and his heartbeat picked up. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And the kindest, most gentle person he’d ever known. And he was losing her. Throwing away a second chance at happiness. Because of fear.

  He started the engine and buckled his seat belt. Just before she climbed into her Jeep, she paused and gave him a jaunty salute. He flashed his lights at her. She drove slowly on the way home, carefully, just as he would have expected. When she turned in the lane leading to her house and his camper, he was right behind her.

  Should he pull into her driveway and say good night? Better not. He didn’t want to ruin any camaraderie they might have developed with the whole salute/light-flashing thing. If she wanted to talk to him, she would seek him out. He killed the motor in his own driveway and sat in the truck for a minute. A week ago tonight she’d been waiting here for him when he’d gotten back from seeing Luis at the hospital.

  His phone vibrated in the holder. He flipped it open and frowned at the caller ID. Elyse?

  CHAPTER 26

  “Hello?” Andrew could hear the hesitance in his greeting. Was she going to tell him not to follow her?

  “Are you stalking me?” Her voice was husky with laughter.

  He twisted in his seat, and by the light of the guard light between them, he could see her standing out by her Jeep in her driveway. She waved.

  He lifted his hand. “I like to think of it as protecting you, but maybe I’ve just got it all wrong.”

  “Whatever you call it, thanks.” The warmth in her voice was unmistakable and so was the relief he felt at being back on speaking terms with her.

  “No problem. How did the 4-H meeting go tonight?” Not to mention, how did the last week go?

  “Good.”

  “I’m glad.” He slouched down a little and looked across the way at her.

  She’d moved around to sit on the back bumper of her Jeep. “Something kind of weird happened.”

  He sat up straight. “Weird?” Had Zeke sneaked in the back door of Coffee Central?

  She chuckled. “Relax. Weird in a good way.”

  He felt his neck flush knowing she’d seen him tense. “What happened?”

  “Remember how you wanted me to tell someone about my childhood?”

  He glanced at her. “So you told someone tonight?”

  She ducked her head and ran her fingers through the top of her hair. “Actually, I told Victoria last week at the meeting. But everything went crazy ... and I didn’t get a chance to tell you.” She looked back up. He wished he could see her eyes.

  “So what happened tonight?”

  “Victoria shared some stuff with me about her life that no one else knows. Our friendship really grew stronger because I told her my secret.”

  “Wow. That’s awesome.” If she were next to him, he’d take her in his arms. He had no doubt she was staying several yards away on purpose. “I’m proud of you.”

  “I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t pushed me.”

  “Sorry if I’m ‘pushy.’ But by Thanksgiving, you’re going to be able to tell Matthew yes.”

  She laughed. “You might be a little overconfident.”

  “Call it what you want, but I know, with God’s help, you can do it.”

  “Thanks for believing that.” She pushed to her feet. “I’d better get in.” She gave him a little wave. “Night.”

  “Okay. Sleep well.” He waved back.

  “See you tomorrow,” she said just as he hit END.

  He sat in his truck and watched her go into her house. So she’d “see him tomorrow.” That was the best news he’d had in a week.

  ***

  The McCords had a family tradition of going around the table on Thanksgiving Day and telling what they were thankful for. If Elyse had to answer that question right this second, the answer would be a hot shower. With the holidays coming up, all of her clients wanted their dogs to look nice, and she hated to let people down. That was the only excuse Elyse had for crowding her schedule as she had done today.

  After her shower, she slipped into some jeans and an old Harding University T-shirt. Peanut butter and crackers for supper. She was too tired to go get groceries tonight. The doorbell rang, and she rolled her eyes. If this was her four o’clock no-show coming two hours late, she was out of luck. Most of her clients understood the significance of a closed gate in the back, but a few thought that meant they should come to the front door.

  The dogs waited anxiously to see who the visitor was. Elyse brushed past them and peeked out the blind. All of her tiredness evaporated into sheer adrenaline. Luis. With a black eye and a faded scar on his lip. On her porch. Waiting to see her.

  She put her hand to her heart. What would happen if she tiptoed back down the hallway, retreated to her room, and pulled the covers over her head? Would he go away?

  Maybe for tonight. But not forever, she was afraid.

  Her legs didn’t want to move, but she guided the dogs back out of the foyer and closed the sliding doors. She turned back to the front door. For a few seconds, she examined the smooth wood surface. It was hard to imagine what would happen when she actually stood face-to-face with him. There was only one way to find out. Taking a deep breath, she grasped the cool brass knob and pulled the door open.

  And stared at him. F
or the first time since he came back into her life, she really looked at him. His black hair was sprinkled with gray and the laugh lines around his brown eyes were deeper than she remembered, but other than that, he was still the same man who shared her high cheekbones. And her love of black walnut ice cream, a flavor she hadn’t eaten since the day the police had taken her to social services.

  “Elyse.” His dark eyes were solemn.

  She nodded, unable to speak.

  “I came to tell you I’m really sorry.” He gave a nervous shrug and half chuckle. “For everything. But right now, for butting into your life here.”

  Her life hadn’t imploded like she’d thought it would if he ever showed up. So for that, she could surely forgive him. Still she couldn’t say the words. She nodded again.

  “After your”—he kind of flinched—“parents told me you didn’t want anything to do with me several years ago, I never thought I’d come back here. But when I saw you on TV and the sheriff said that Zeke had threatened you, I had to take my two weeks’ vacation and keep an eye on you for myself.” Another self-deprecating laugh. “Not that I did that great a job of protecting you.”

  “I’m glad you’re okay.” She finally managed to get some words out.

  Andrew’s red truck came down the lane and immediately turned toward her house. She watched over Luis’s shoulder as Andrew parked beside the yellow Toyota and jumped out. He didn’t exactly run up the walkway, but he didn’t meander either.

  Luis turned, and Andrew nodded. “Luis.”

  “Andrew. Good to see you.”

  Andrew shook his hand. “Good to see you out of the hospital.” As he was talking, he edged past Luis and positioned himself next to Elyse in the doorway.

  Just like always, she drew strength from his presence.

  “Thanks for the visits,” Luis said. “It gets lonely in there.”

  Like prison? Elyse wondered. Then his first words hit her. Visits? She gave Andrew a quizzical look.

  He shrugged and his face said, I’ll tell you later as plainly as if he’d spoken the words aloud.

  “I’d better go.” Luis looked down. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. And see you one more time.”

  Elyse nodded. What could she say: “As long as it’s only one last time”? “Don’t make a habit of it”? She was capable of speaking now, but she didn’t have the right words, so she still kept her mouth shut.

  Luis turned and walked away. She thought of her mother—her first mother, as she’d been thinking of her lately—and any pity she felt for him faded into a familiar dull anger that she embraced. When he was in his little truck putt-putting down the driveway, she let the tension go out of her shoulders.

  Andrew leaned over and dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Hard day?”

  She smiled at him, surprised she could. He definitely brought out the best in her. “Once again you rode to the rescue.” His presence in times of trouble was something she could get used to too easily.

  “I’m not done yet.” He motioned toward his truck. “Come make yourself useful.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Helping me carry,” he called over his shoulder as he strode down the walkway.

  “Carry? Carry what?” She jogged to catch up with him.

  “Are you going to stand around all night and ask questions, or are you going to help me?” He opened the passenger door on his red truck and pulled out three full plastic bags and shoved them in her arms.

  “What is this?”

  “Groceries,” he said. “When I saw you at lunch, you said you were too tired to go get them tonight.”

  “But...” Was he kidding? He’d bought groceries for her? How would he even know what she wanted? The thought died a quick death when she glanced in the first bag and saw her favorite brand of coffee and the packets of dog food Nikki ate. Apparently he’d paid close attention the night he’d watched her put away groceries. “Thank you.” She was blown away by how sweet he was. She blinked hard and hurried to the house with the groceries.

  She paused in the foyer to let Andrew in and close the front door behind him. He carried four more grocery bags and a brown paper bag—her stomach growled—that looked and smelled suspiciously like it held Chinese takeout. “What’s in the paper bag?” she whispered.

  “Chinese,” he whispered back, a grin playing across his lips. “Why are we whispering?”

  She pointed to the sliding doors that kept the dogs in the hallway. “They know the names of every kind of takeout.”

  “Sure they do.”

  She opened the doors, and the dogs bounded over to Andrew, wagging their tails.

  “I think they like me.”

  She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “What did I tell you? It’s the Chinese food.”

  They laughed down the hallway, and by the time the groceries were put away and the sesame chicken demolished, Elyse had almost gotten over the shock of seeing Luis on her doorstep. “So you visited Luis in the hospital? More than that first night?”

  He nodded. “I had a lot of time on my hands last week.” He picked at a half-eaten egg roll with his fork. “He’s easy to talk to.” He shoved a little rice over to the side of his plate. “Humble and just a real nice guy.”

  She played with a fortune cookie, rattling the package but not opening it.

  “You’re normally so compassionate.”

  “And you think I should be able to just forgive him.”

  Andrew cut the half an egg roll into tiny pieces. “I don’t think you should...”

  She threw the cookie down. “You just wonder why I don’t.”

  “You don’t have to tell me.” Andrew finally looked up to meet her eyes.

  She listened to the dogs’ even breathing and took a deep breath of her own. “My dad and mom walked out of that charity foundation building with guns. Guns. My mother was what most people nowadays would call a ditzy blond. She went along with whatever harebrained get-rich-quick scheme my dad cooked up. But she wouldn’t touch a gun. Wouldn’t allow them in her house.” As she was talking, she wondered how accurate her memories were. Had eighteen years changed her perception? “My dad was a lot like you—he could defend himself with no problem. He’d done a lot of street fighting. But he never had a gun that I knew about. I remember he used to say something like if you used your head, you didn’t need a gun.”

  Andrew frowned and pushed his plate toward the middle of the table. “That makes no sense. Did you see the police report? Did it say they had guns?”

  Elyse pulled the fortune cookie back over to her empty hands. “I didn’t see the police report.” She looked up at him. “I saw them come out the door with guns in their hands.”

  “You were there?”

  She nodded and squeezed the cookie between her thumb and index finger. “I was in the car.”

  “You saw your mother get shot?”

  “Yes. My dad...” She laid the cookie on the table and pressed down on it with the palm of her hand. “Luis threw his gun down as soon as he saw the policemen outside. But my mother ... I really think she forgot she even had the weapon in her hand and was just raising her hands. But she raised the gun straight up, and the police shot her in the chest.”

  “The police found you in the car?”

  A tiny hole had developed in the plastic, and cookie dust scattered on the table. “An hour later.”

  He slid his fortune cookie across the table to her. “You sat there for an hour by yourself after seeing that.”

  “Not completely by myself.” A bittersweet smile touched her lips. “I had the only kind of puppy my parents would let me have—a little stuffed dog named Friendly.” She thought of Friendly, his black and white fur matted and thin with age, sitting on her bedroom dresser, watching over her. Someday she might show him to Andrew. But not tonight.

  CHAPTER 27

  Was it supposed to be this cold Thanksgiving week? Andrew pulled his jacket tighter as he stepped into the barn and shut the door behind him. Th
ankfully, he’d finished outside and was painting indoors now. And thankfully, there was a good heater in the barn theater. He plugged in his radio and tuned in a local channel. Outside, he preferred to listen to the cows bawling, horses whinnying, and even the crickets chirping, but when he was working inside, he needed a little background noise.

  Thanksgiving was three days away, and as far as he knew, Elyse still planned to tell Matthew that she couldn’t accept his offer. Andrew popped the lid off the nearest paint can and swirled the liquid slowly with a stir stick. If he could just get her to say yes, he felt sure she could do the job. The problem was that she didn’t agree.