by C. A. Harms
“It’d be even better if Harley wasn’t choosing now to drum up old shit.” I couldn’t help chuckling when Maddison’s eyes grew wide and her nose crinkled, getting that hateful look she got when she didn’t like something.
“What the hell does she want?”
The two of them continued about Harley. Each time Rhett told her another piece of the puzzle, Maddison grew even more irritated. One after another, Rhett downed shot after shot, not realizing he’d drunk all three that were meant for all of us. When Jim saw the same thing I did, he looked at me, and I nodded my head, giving him the go ahead to fill them once again. Rhett deserved a little unwinding. He needed it, in fact.
Terrance finally found his way over to us and joined the shootout Maddison and Rhett were having, both slightly slurring as they went on and on about AJ and how perfect she was for Rhett. Maddison made a few threats about what she’d do if Harley didn’t back off, and had she said them sober, I may have worried, but my guess was, tomorrow, she wouldn’t remember a thing. She’d feel like shit, but her words would be nothing but a blur.
I spent the night nursing my single beer, knowing I’d need to get the two of them home safely later.
A couple hours later, Rhett was hanging on Terrance, or I should say they were hanging on one another. Talking about baseball and their friendship like a couple of pussies. Mad leaned against my side, surprising me because, to be honest, last time I saw her, she was a few tables over talking to a couple of friends she’d known from high school but hadn’t seen in a while.
On instinct, I lifted my arm and wrapped it up and over her shoulder. She sighed, or so I thought. “You smell good, Mike.” Her voice was low, but I could hear her whisper. “But you always have.”
“Thanks,” I said with humor, wondering at that moment just how much alcohol she had consumed.
“Stop laughing at me.” I looked down to find her head tilted back almost like she was watching me, had her eyes been open in order to do so.
“Sorry, Mad.” I forced the smile to go away and did my very best to keep a straight face. “Thank you for saying I smell good. You smell pretty amazing yourself.” I wouldn’t lie. It was damn cute to see a pleased look on her face when I gave her a compliment in return.
“Dance with me.”
“I think you’re beyond drunk if you think I’m dancing.” I didn’t dance.
“Please. For me.” She pouted, pushing her bottom lip out dramatically. “You don’t have to do much but stand right here.” And with that, she stepped around to my front and started shaking her hips way too seductively.
Okay, fine, it was sexy as fuck, her hands on my chest, moving downward slowly when she moved lower before rolling over my waist and then back up again. But this was Maddison. I kept repeating that phrase in my head.
Suddenly, she was slouching before me, her body rolling over mine entirely too close, and then it happened. Her face was level with my dick.
“Okay,” I moved back in a hurry and gripped her beneath her arms, “that’ll do it. I think that’s enough dancing for now.”
“You’re no fun.”
I’d show her fun. In fact, I’d show her—
Damn it. No. It’s Maddison.
I reached for my phone with one hand while attempting to hold Maddison up with the other. At this point, she was starting to crash, and she may weigh very little, but right then, she’d become dead weight.
“Dad,” I said when I heard him pick up the other line, “can you have Mom or Garrett drop you off at Lucky’s? I’m gonna need some help getting Rhett’s truck back to his place and him and Maddison home safe.”
My father agreed, and I let Rhett finish his intimate moment with his pal before dragging both him and Maddison outside. While waiting for my dad to show, I sat back and babysat the two of them as they tried to balance on one leg over and over. Rhett looked more like he was walking a tight rope, high in the sky. He even did the wobble, his arms extended out at his side, paired up with an entire, oh, oh, this is it, okay, I got it.
Maddison couldn’t stop laughing, and I did mean laughing hard, on the ground holding her stomach, laughing her fucking ass off, kind of laughing.
I knew I shouldn’t have been thinking it, but even in her drunken state, she was utterly beautiful.
Chapter Five
Maddison
I was exhausted, and frankly, I wanted to go home, run a hot bath, and soak away the ache in my feet. The problem with that was that I had to go over to Raven’s as promised and hang out. Had I not been ordered to bring more wine, I would have made up some excuse.
Who knew, maybe a girls’ night would clear my head. Lately, I’d felt so off, so confused even, feeling things I knew I shouldn’t toward people—one in particular who I definitely should not have been fantasizing about.
I blamed it all on the dry spell I’d been on. Life had been a whirlwind of crazy for far too long for me, and somewhere along the way, I forgot that I needed a little me time. Time to relax, time to forget about work and the upcoming surgeries of tomorrow. Instead, I was the eager nurse volunteering to take the on-call shift for others just for the experience. Fact was, it was because I wanted safe; safe worked for me.
Who the hell was I? This was not the me I’d always been but the me I had become.
Parking along the road, I gathered my bag and the two bottles of wine, climbing out of my car. The sun had just begun to set, and over the apartment building that Raven lived in, there was a glow that cast shadows over the trees.
I paused just outside the door and leaned my ear closer, hearing Raven and AJ’s laughter. It made me smile because, though I didn’t want to come only moments ago, I knew this was what I needed.
“And a little dirty too,” Raven said with a laugh. “I’ll admit, sis, I am a little envious.”
Now I was heavily curious.
“Give it to me,” AJ squealed.
I couldn’t wait any longer. I wanted to know what the fuss was about.
Turning the knob, I pushed opened the door, and they both stopped what they were doing and looked at me. “The alcohol has arrived,” I announced as I held up not one but two bottles.
Suddenly, AJ snatched a phone out of Raven’s hands, and they tussled over it before AJ won, tucking it down the front of her jeans.
“What’s going on in here?” I looked between the two of them.
“Rhett’s sending dirty messages to AJ.”
Intrigued, I needed more information immediately. “I’ve always imagined him to be a little dirty. All dominant and forceful but in the hottest kind of way.” I placed the bottles on the coffee table and stared at AJ eagerly. “Does he talk dirty too, ya know,” I waved my hand out in that go on give me more manner, “during naughty times?”
“He’s your cousin,” AJ said, holding her phone hostage, refusing to allow either of them to see what Rhett was sending her. The continuous buzzing indicated he was still messaging her.
“We’re not really related, so I’m still allowed to wonder,” I declared. “I would never act on my curiosities, so please do tell.”
“No.” She was telling me no but laughing at the same time. “I’m not talking about this with either of you.”
“Oh, he’s dirty,” Raven finally added. “Look at how red her cheeks are.”
“I knew it.” I’d grown up with them, both him and Mike. They were both rugged and strong. “I imagined Mikey to be the same way. After being gone for so long, serving his country and limited access to those wild ways of men his age, I bet he’s all into that take control and demand what he needs kinda stuff.”
See, those were the exact thoughts I should not have been having about the person I should not have been having them about. It was so, so wrong.
“You’re starting to scare me.”
Oh, AJ, I am scaring myself too.
“Like I said, neither of them is actually related to me. I’ve just been around them for so long they feel like brothers.” A
t least I felt that way about Rhett, anyway. “It doesn’t mean I can’t wonder about those things, but I would never act on them. That would be too weird. But I am not opposed to hearing the details.”
“No,” AJ said sternly and found both Raven and me sharing a devious smile. “Rhett is different from what I imagined him to be,” she started again. “He’s the perfect combination of sweet and spicy. That’s all I’ll reveal.”
“We’ll just wait until she passes out then steal her phone and have a look ourselves.” Raven shrugged it off as she grabbed the bottle of wine and began to pour me a glass before topping off her own.
“So, Mad…” Raven got comfortable on the couch, and I saw AJ get her phone out and look at the screen. It was cute how she and Rhett were together. “Has Dr. Richards asked you out yet?”
“Why do you think he has a thing for me?”
“Gee, I don’t know.” She laughed. “Maybe because every time he talks to you, he stares at your boobs instead of your face.”
“She has really great boobs,” AJ interjected with a shrug while still staring at her phone.
“Aw, thanks.” I hadn’t really spent much time with AJ until recently, and I was realizing just how much I liked her. Not just because she complimented my boobs, either. But, to be honest, that did help confirm she was just who I thought she was: a girl who said it like it was, because I did have amazing breasts.
***
“Great job in there.” I placed the chart onto the counter and turned around just as Dr. Richards stepped up behind me. “My surgeries always seem to go much smoother when you’re at my side, Maddison.”
“Thank you.” The moment I said it, I remembered what Raven had said, and it was then I noticed it: his eyes were most definitely taking in my chest. Okay, so not just taking it in, he was memorizing it.
The guy wasn’t bad looking. He was older than me, in his mid-thirties, but extremely attractive. He wasn’t exactly my go-to type—I generally went for the stronger, built type, maybe a little bad boy. Dr. Richards was tall, lean, with a strong jawline, and apparently a breast man.
“I was about to go downstairs and grab a bite before our next surgery. Would you care to join me?”
A big part of me wanted to say no, because mixing business with pleasure couldn’t be a good thing if things happened to go south. But then, Mike’s face flashed in my mind, and I wondered if the reason behind my fascination toward him wasn’t related to the fact that I’d not dated a man in so very long. I didn’t remember the last time I felt a man’s hands on me, or, in turn, placed my own on a man.
“I could eat,” I finally said, feeling a little more heated than before.
Dr. Richards smiled, holding his hand out for me to pass. Glancing back over my shoulder, I saw him take in my backside and thought to myself, maybe he’s not just a boob guy.
Chapter Six
Mike
I was just coming off from my first shift at the hospital, feeling the effects of being on my feet for close to ten hours. For the most part, everything went smoothly, but working trauma, I honestly never knew how my shift may go. It was fast paced, which was what I enjoyed, but much different from being in battle.
Rounding the corner toward the cafeteria, needing to grab a coffee before I headed back to Brooklet, I stopped dead in my tracks. At the end of the hall was a tall man, wearing dark blue scrubs indicating he was a surgeon. He was slightly hunched over, one hand resting on the wall, as he leaned in toward a nurse in yellow scrubs. I’d recognize the woman anywhere, the dark hair and that sweet smile.
Maddison looked up at the guy, her back pressed to the wall, holding what looked like a mug of coffee in her hands. They talked, and the intimacy shared between them was obvious by their stances.
He must have said something funny, because Maddison’s laughter echoed through the long, narrow hallway, and I instantly grew irritated. I didn’t know this man, and I wondered how well she knew him.
When the doctor leaned in and Maddison arched her chin upward, their lips met in a quick kiss, and I felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. That was about all I could take.
Backing away, I decided the cup of coffee wasn’t worth it.
I drove home, feeling my mood sour even more with each mile. When I pulled up into the driveway of my childhood home, I was met with my father and Garrett playing basketball in the driveway.
For a few minutes, I simply sat there and watched them through the windshield, remembering the time when my parents first started visiting me in the children’s home. The times Gavin and I would shoot baskets for hours then switch it up and play catch with a baseball instead. What he didn’t know at the time was that my biological father used to do those same things with me. That’s what started the connection I felt to him.
A knocking on my window made me jump in surprise. Glancing to my left, I found Maria looking at me with a puzzled expression, and I forced a smile, not wanting her to worry. She was always worrying.
I opened the door slowly, and she stepped back, waiting for me to climb out of my truck.
“How was your first shift at the hospital?”
“Interesting and long.” I dipped my head and placed a kiss on her cheek. Talking about the hospital just made me think of Maddison and what I’d seen. Frankly, I wanted to pretend I didn’t see any of it. “I think I’m gonna head inside and get a few hours’ sleep. Then I thought I’d go over to Rhett’s place and work on some things.”
“A few hours?” my mother asked, but I knew it was her way of telling me she had her own opinions about my choice.
“I’m good,” I assured her. “I’ve spent the last eight years surviving on very little sleep, Ma.” Sometimes, I went days without any real sleep, but I’d tried never to give her too many details of my time in the military. The saying “the less you know” was true in this situation because my mother was, and always would be, a worrier.
Walking up the driveway, Garrett tossed me the ball, and I stood around shooting some shots before going inside to get cleaned up.
Climbing into bed afterward, I closed my eyes and was once again met with Maddison and that doctor, feeling my irritation growing each time the vision popped in my head. I didn’t have any right to care. Quite frankly, it was wrong of me too.
***
“Where are you heading?” I arrived at Rhett’s just in time to see him walking out of the house, his keys in hand.
“Lucky’s.”
“I was coming over to sand your cabinets.” I needed something to clear my thoughts.
“Forget the sanding, man. There’s time for that another day. Join me.” He waved his hand toward his truck. “You need to loosen up a little bit. Meet a girl or something. You’re all work and no play.”
“I think I’ll pass.” I lifted my equipment back into the back of my truck. “I’ll just head over and see if Gramps needs any help with anything.” I heard Rhett chuckle and looked up just in time to catch him shaking his head at me. “What?”
“You’re acting like an old man.” Rhett challenged me to deny it. I didn’t. “Come have a drink with me, unwind, be the Mikey I know and love. Hell, I’m the one who’s been trapped in some dark place. You aren’t supposed to take my place now that I’m finally awake.”
I let Rhett give me a hard time for a little longer before I finally caved and agreed to meet him and his friends at the bar.
We’d been at Lucky’s for close to an hour, and I’d admit I was enjoying myself. Terrance and a few other guys from Rhett’s team had joined us. I was sitting near the end of the bar, talking to Trina, a bartender who had just started a few days ago. She was twenty-two, a single mom doing her best to support her daughter. She was friendly but overly friendly like the other bartender, Darla, who had asked me at least three times since I’d walked in if I needed her to welcome me home properly.
From what I’d heard, she’d been welcoming and re-welcoming anyone and everyone that gave her the chance for years.
Trina was down at the other end of the bar, and I was sipping on the beer she’d just gotten me when the front door came open. I paused with my beer pressed to my lips when in walked Maddison, with her doctor boy toy fucker just behind her.
She spotted us and walked over, dragging him close behind.
“Hey, guys.” She offered Rhett a quick hug then leaned in, doing the same to me but much faster. I was too busy watching the guy who was looking between Rhett and then me to notice Maddison staring at me from the side. “Do you know Tom?”
When I realized she was talking to me, I tried to recover quickly and hid my penetrating gaze. “Nope. Can’t say that I do.”
“He’s a surgeon.” I nodded in his direction, and he offered the same. I could still sense the way he was analyzing Rhett and me and our relationship with Maddison. “Tom,” she reached out and took his hands in hers, pulling him in closer, “this is Mike and Rhett, my cousins and best friends.”
With that, the guy seemed to relax, holding his hand out to each of us to offer a shake. I’d admit, when I shook his hand, I squeezed it a little harder than necessary.
“It’s good to meet you both.” I didn’t like the guy, and I knew it was because he was with Maddison and not because of the person he was, or even wasn’t.
That’s when it hit me.
I had feelings for Mad, true feelings. I didn’t like the idea of her being with anyone, but I also couldn’t do anything about what I felt for her. So I only had one choice: I had to distance myself.
And I also knew that it would fucking kill me too.
Chapter Seven
Five Months Later
Maddison
I’d been dating Tom for more than five months now, and I was still waiting for that spark, that feeling one gets when the one they’re with walks into a room and their heart soars and beats rapidly with excitement. It never came for me with him, but I kept holding out for it.