by C. A. Harms
“You’ve always been there for me, and I know I’m quiet and distant, but I’ve always listened, Mad. Even when you think I’m ignoring you, I’ve listened. You’re bright, and it may sound weird, but I’ve looked up to you my whole life. You see the good in everything.” I could hear the shuddering of Colton’s voice. “I love you.” My own tears began to fall. “You’ve gotta be okay, all right? You’ve just gotta.”
I stepped in and placed my arm over Colton’s shoulder, hugging his shuddering body. I still hadn’t looked at Maddison, knowing I would have to soon; I just need another minute or two.
“She’ll be all right,” I assured him, even though there was absolutely no way I could ever promise that.
We stood there for a few more minutes until he excused himself and said he needed to take a walk. When he was gone and it was only Maddison and me in the room, I decided to talk to her like I would any other time.
“I’m gonna look at you now, and even though they’ve said you have some bruising, I can almost guarantee you are still as beautiful as always.” I started at her waist, where they had her hands gathered, and slowly began to move upward, taking it all in.
Her chest, near her collarbone, was the space where it all began to show. The dark bruising and red blotches on her skin, along the side of her neck on the left and her jaw. The swelling was astronomical and was practically two sizes larger than normal. Moving further up her face along her cheekbone, I found I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep from crying out.
“Still beautiful.” I finally forced the words out as tears rolled along my cheeks and dripped onto the sheet hanging over the side of her hospital bed. Her leg was extended and propped on a large cushion-looking thing. I couldn’t see the damage because of the bandages, but we’d been told it was extensive.
I stayed as long as I could hold on to my emotions. I held her hand, kissed her cheek on the good side, and told her that I loved her. I also told her that Mike was devastated, and he needed her so she better wake her ass up so she could tell him to stop being a pussy. I couldn’t almost imagine her laughing if she could’ve heard that.
The moment I stepped out in to the hallway, I felt it: the slow cave of my emotions, like the guarded force I’d built around them was slowly being chipped away with each step. By the time I had reached the doors, I hadn’t even realized I was crying until I stepped out into the waiting area and all eyes turned on me. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t form, just me opening my mouth and then closing it like a fish searching for food.
I could feel my body growing limp, and I took in a deep breath. I could already see my father moving toward me, but then a strong set of arms engulfed me, and I looked up into a pair of big brown eyes. Blinking, I tried to register it all.
“I got her,” my father said, and then I was passed off. As we walked away, I chanced a glance, and that was when I saw him: Landon.
He stood next to Mike, and the way he watched me, it made me want to go back and let him hold me the way he was only seconds ago. It felt safe there, if only for a few seconds, and I wanted that feeling back.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Mike
It had been five days.
Five days since I last heard her sweet voice, and five days since I was able to look into her gorgeous eyes.
I sat at her bedside, much like I had every day and every night since Landon had found me and brought me back to the hospital. I was wandering aimlessly at the little mini mart just down the road from the hospital. It was a wonder that they didn’t call the police and report some strange man outside their business, but to be honest, I had no idea why it was there I’d chosen to stop and start pacing.
Now no one could get me to step away, not unless it was an order by a nurse or a doctor. I remained just where I was, talking to her and holding her hand. Whenever I managed to dose off, I did it with her hand in mine.
“I’ve had the key to our new place since Sunday.” I leaned forward toward her bed and traced the lines in her palm with my finger. I’d done that same very thing often, and she would always say it tickled before pulling her hand away and scratching at it to relieve the itch. Only now she didn’t even twitch. “I can’t bring myself to go there, Mad, not without you.”
I did that often, just sat next to her bed and talked.
“Rhett and Landon went to your old apartment and gathered up all the boxes we’d packed. They’re waiting at the house, because I’m not sure where you would want everything, and I want it all to be perfect for you.” I heard someone come into the room, but I didn’t stop talking; I didn’t care who heard me rambling on. They could think what they wanted; I was talking to my girl, even if she couldn’t hear me. “They’d planned to go back in a few days to get all the furniture. There’s not much from my place we’re taking, just my personal stuff.”
My apartment was furnished, so none of the furniture there was mine.
“I told them to just put the furniture in each room but not to worry about where, because that’s up to you.”
I saw movement to my left, just before a soft purple blanket was draped over Maddison’s waist. I could tell by the hands it was a woman, and by the ring she wore, I knew it was Alexis. That meant it was just after four, because she came that same time every day.
“How’s our girl doing?”
“Still as beautiful as ever.” Alex placed her hand on my shoulder and offered me a gentle squeeze.
“After the swelling went down from the surgery, she started to look more like herself.”
She’d been through three surgeries since the day of the accident, one on her leg and two on her face. There would be scarring, but we were being told it would be minimal. None of that scared me. To me, she was my Pretty Girl no matter what.
“Why don’t you get yourself something to eat? A coffee maybe? Stretch your legs a bit.”
“I’m good.” I hated leaving her.
“I know, Mike.” I looked up at Alexis, and she offered me a smile. “I’d like to spend some alone time with my daughter. Just for a bit.”
I knew I couldn’t deny her, but it was almost impossible to make my legs move. With one big deep breath in, I pushed up off the chair and was surprised when Alexis pulled me in for a hug. “I love the way you love her,” she whispered, and I felt the tightness in my chest grow. “You’re a good man, Mikey.” Everyone in the older clan still called me Mikey, and each time they did, it made me feel like a kid again.
“You of all people know just how easy she is to love.” I offered her a hug in return before stepping back and forcing myself to walk out of the room. But not before I paused in the doorway to look back at Maddison one last time.
I spent over an hour walking the halls of the hospital, wandering to the maternity floor once again and pausing to watch the babies. A flashback of the conversation Maddison and I shared about children warmed my heart before tears sprang to my eyes.
It was then that I knew I needed to see her; I could feel an intense pull to be near her.
I walked first at a fast pace and continued to pick up speed until I was jogging to the elevator. When it didn’t come fast enough, I hit the stairs and took them two at a time until I was three floors up and pushing through the door, exiting into a long hallway. Again, I started to jog, people looking at me as I passed by, some looking offended, but I didn’t care.
I rounded the corner and could see the nurses’ station just across from Maddison’s room. The doctor stepped out of the room, a nurse trailing close behind, and they were both smiling. The sounds of my shoes hitting the tiled floor must have gained their attention, and they both looked up just as I skidded to a stop.
“What’s going on?” I hated that I missed their visit.
“Why don’t you go take a look for yourself?” The doctor pointed toward Mad’s room just as my phone chimed in my back pocket.
When I pulled out my phone and peeked at the screen, I swore my heart fucking leaped out of my
chest. A deep, penetrating ache was followed by such an unbelievably fast heart rate hammering in my chest, I felt slightly woozy from it all.
Rhett: She’s awake.
That was all it said, and I dropped my phone without meaning to and pushed open the door with caution, my hands shaking intensely. My eyes instantly found her, and then my legs grew weak as I fell to my knees in the middle of the doorway. My head dropping, I lifted my hands to cover my face as I wept in relief.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Maddison
I was still groggy from the medication but alert enough to understand what was taking place. Seeing Mike cry broke something inside of me. I swore I felt it crack inside my chest, a pain so deep and so intense that it hurt to breathe. That could also be related to the injuries my mother told me I sustained, but I knew a huge part was due to the man I loved weeping in the center of an opened doorway as not only the doctor and nurse stood behind him, but also a few random members of my family. My father and brother, Gran and Gramps and Rhett, stood back, giving Mike the chance to recover.
When he lifted his head to look at me once more, I reached out for him, and he moved faster than I expected. In a flash he was by my side, holding my hand in his. “Hey, handsome.” He bowed his head, allowing it to rest onto the side of my bed, and I pulled my hand from his to run my fingers through his hair.
It felt greasy. I was sure it was from days of being here at the hospital. I didn’t even want to imagine what mine looked like. My mother had already warned me about my face; it was one of the first things I asked her about when I woke. It terrified me, the chance that I would have scarring that would forever remind me of that day at the farm. Something I’d loved so much could have possibly killed me, and I found myself wondering if I would ever be brave enough to climb on a horse again.
One by one, everyone began to enter the room, stepping up to the opposite side of me that Mike was on. I could see how they looked at me, like I was fragile, and I might break. That would be something we would have to deal with because I was not a China doll.
“Do you remember what happened?” Gramps asked, and I could see the guilty look his eyes held.
“This was not your fault.”
He nodded, his nostrils flaring as I attempted to hide his emotions.
“I took Storm, even after you told me he was having attitude problems. This is on me, because even before we started the ride, he was giving me fits. I could have easily taken a different horse, but I stuck with it. It’s on me.” I needed him to understand this.
Gramps bowed his head and stepped aside so that Aunt Maria could move in to offer me a hug. “It sure is good to see those big beautiful eyes of yours again.”
“It’s good to see all of you, too. It was awful hearing you but being unable to reply.”
“You could hear us?”
I nodded, and my mom smiled.
“You and I have a lot to discuss.” I said this to Mike, and he lifted his head, staring intensely at me. It didn’t matter that we weren’t alone; my brush with death had apparently made me a whole lot braver. “There was some heavy talk about a life full of kids and some dancing in the rain.”
I heard a few chuckles, and Mike smiled even though his eyes were glossy and red.
“So, did you mean it all?”
“Every single word.” He didn’t even pause as he looked up at my parents. “Of course I would like to have your blessings, but if I’m being completely honest here, I’m not sure that would even stop me. For the last week, I wasn’t sure I would ever get the chance to fulfill all I promised to Mad, but now that she’s awake, I don’t want to waste another minute.”
The room had now filled one by one with family members that were still arriving. Apparently, the moment I opened my eyes, after my mother’s first initial shock, she triggered the family phone tree, and everyone came running. My big crazy family now took up almost every space of the hospital room.
“Then I’d guess that there was something you were wanting to ask her?” My father arched his brow in the craziest way, and I started to laugh. Only I quickly tried to stop it because my body still ached in ways I didn’t expect. I had been literally trampled and thrown around by a horse.
As I scanned over the crowd, my gaze connected with Grace, who had a cast on her hand. We shared a smile, though it didn’t feel like one of complete happiness. We’d both suffered a terrorizing event. I could only imagine what Chloe felt having to watch it all unfold.
“I do,” Mike spoke, reminding me of the conversation that had been taking place. “But with all due respect, I’d prefer not to do it in a hospital. Someone as amazing as Maddison deserves something more special than that.”
My father seemed pleased, and to be honest, so was I. I’d already heard Mike share some of his most intimate words with me. Though he thought I couldn’t hear them, I could assure you I did. I now knew all his secrets, all his wishes and dreams. And all I wanted to do was make every last one come true.
He rose up, leaned over the bed, and in front of every member of our family he offered me one of the sweetest, most meaningful kisses of my life. In that moment, my heart once again felt whole.
Epilogue
Mike
Rhett gave me shit every day about proposing to Maddison before he got the chance to propose to AJ, but it was his fault he was so slow. The moment I carried Maddison from her Jeep to the front door of our house on the day she was released, I popped the question. Right in the living room of our new home. Surrounded by boxes and a cluster of furniture, I lowered myself to one knee and asked her to become my wife.
I held up the ring I had found for her while walking past the front window of a local jewelry store. It was like it called out to me, and two weeks before her accident, I’d bought it and tucked it into the glovebox of my truck, fearful that if I hid it in the apartment, she would have found it while packing.
Maddison cried, nodding her head rapidly, unable to speak. I laughed and slid the ring over her finger. It fit her to perfection and not just the size. It wasn’t huge and flashy but more delicate and sleeker. She told me it was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen, and I could see it in her eyes she meant it.
It had been six months since her accident, and she hadn’t yet gone back to work. To be honest, I wasn’t ready for her to. Her physical therapy had been frustrating and even disappointing to certain level. Maddison would always have a small limp now, I didn’t notice it as much as she did, and I could see the frustration in her eyes with each step.
I wasn’t joking when I said I would carry her everywhere we went. If she’d let me, I would gladly.
We were getting married in less than a month in Gran and Gramps’ backyard, near the garden surrounded by all the flowers that were in bloom. All our family and closest friends would be there to share our day with us, and I couldn’t wait to see her walking down the aisle toward me.
The day she’d read the text I sent as I sat in the waiting room on the day of the accident while the doctors diligently worked on her, she cried. I’d forgotten all about it until I came home from work to find her on the couch holding her phone in her hands while staring down at the screen. I’d practically planned our entire wedding while sitting at the side of her hospital bed while she lay before me sleeping. I never imagined she’d hear me, but she had.
The best part about it was she took those visions I had and made them a reality. Not many guys could say they planned their entire wedding, and to be honest, I never thought I would plan mine. But I also never thought the woman I loved would come so close to death before I got the chance to say, “I do,” either.
Our life was about to begin.
“What are you thinking about?” I tipped my head back as she stepped up behind the couch. Leaning over, she gave me a sweet kiss before I took her hand in mine and guided her to walk around and join me.
Mad sat down as my side, and instantly, I pushed up her shirt and exposed her flat stomac
h. Placing my palm against her, I smiled, thinking about the fact that within the next few months she would no longer be able to hide the fact that she was carrying our baby.
“Every single time you do that, it gives me goosebumps.”
“Me too,” I confessed, moving in closer to kiss her just below her belly button. She was only eight weeks along, and neither of us planned for it to happen this soon. We’d thought with her being on birth control for so long that it would be months before we’d conceive, at least maybe not until after our wedding, but we’d shocked ourselves.
On the day that we get married, she’d be moving out of her first trimester. We’d decided to wait until she was past the twelve-week mark to share our news. I loved that it was our little secret, one that we could talk about and dream about. I knew that moment the family found out, it would be chaos, as most things were in our massive group of crazies.
“I decided to wait until after the baby was born to go back to work.” I looked up at her to read her expression. I was happy to see a genuine smile on her face. “Maybe wait until he or she is at least six months old.”
“That sounds like the perfect plan.”
“I was also thinking that maybe I would step away from surgeries.” This was a little bit of a surprise. “I’d like to get more of a part-time nursing position, maybe at a doctor’s office.”
Maddison loved surgery.
“Surgical is amazing, don’t get me wrong, but I want to be home as much as possible with our kids, with you. I don’t want to look back ten years from now and be sad about all the things I missed. I don’t know, I guess after everything we went through, it made me appreciate life more, the memories we create, the people we share our time with.”