by S. Donahue
She just sits there, wide-eyed.
I get closer to his face. “I'm not going to sit back and watch you throw Hailey away like you did Megan. I thought you were my best friend, my brother. We’ve been through so much together. I never in a million years thought that you could hurt me the way you have. I can't even look at you right now. You make me sick.”
“Chase, you’re wrong about everything.” He tries to defend himself, but I don’t want to hear it.
“I'm not going to sit here and act like I didn't make mistakes. I've made mistakes. I thought a lot while I was in California. I like Hailey a lot. And I allowed you to come in between us. Allowed you to make me think that I didn't like her and that I wanted to get back with Megan. That wasn't true. I got played by my best friend.”
“The only problem is Hailey is here with me and wants to be here with me. She chose to show up here tonight,” P says, getting in my face.
“You better back up and listen to me. I'm not going to sit here and say that I love Hailey, that we're going to be together forever, that I'm going to marry her or we're going to have a family, but I am going to say that she's going to leave this restaurant with me and we will try. We'll start off slow and get to know each other, have fun and be friends. Whatever is in our fate! I refuse to sit here and let her get mistreated by you. She’s not right for you. She’s right for me.”
“Yeah, well, let’s let her decide who she wants once and for all, and your little pansy ass can go home and watch Sports Center while a real man takes care of her.”
“In your dreams, dickhead.” I’ve had about enough of him. His lights are about to get knocked out. “Hailey, who do you want to be with? Who do you want to leave here with?” I ask.
CHAPTER 32
Hailey
I SEE CHASE make his way to the table. I'm not sure what he could possibly want. When he reaches us, he starts having words with Parker. Apparently Parker had sex with Megan, got her pregnant, and tried to have it look like the baby was Chase’s. What kind of person does that to their friend? Chase is saying that he's leaving this restaurant with me. I have news for him: I am leaving alone. I don't want to be in the middle of this crazy mess. He is saying how wrong Parker is for me. That is completely true, but he's also saying how great he is for me. He never proved that. He never even called me.
“Who do you choose?” Chase asks again. “Wait, don't answer that. I'm not giving you a choice. I don't care if you don't want to be with me, but you are definitely not leaving with him.”
“You don't care?” I ask Chase, aggravated. “If you don't care, why would I pick you?”
“Hailey, that came out wrong.” Chase runs his hands through his hair.
“Real smooth there, Chase,” Parker says sarcastically.
“Don't you have some women lined up somewhere waiting to be molested and impregnated by you?”
This is out of control. “You two are really mature. Parker, you are who you are. You'll never change. You're still the same person you were in high school. I made a mistake coming here tonight. I should have gone with my gut feeling.”
“Thank God,” Chase mumbles.
Parker gets this nasty look on his face. “Hailey, you're still the same person you were in high school. You might have changed your physical appearance, but you will always be that fat insecure girl who got teased every day.”
I never expected those words out of Parker’s mouth. They hurt; they sting. I've heard it before, but to hear it at twenty-seven is way different than at seventeen. Memories, flashbacks—they all surface. I can’t speak words. There's no comeback. There's nothing further to say. I stand there in shock, numb from his words.
“Don't you ever talk to her like that again,” Chase warns Parker. “Stay the fuck away from her and me.”
“You always waste your time defending that nobody. What are you going to do about it?” Parker taunts, provoking Chase.
I just can't take it anymore. Catching Parker off guard, I slap him across the face so hard, I hurt my hand.
“If you so much as lay a hand on her, I'll break every bone in your body,” Chase says and turns towards me. I run to the exit and out through the doors, crying hysterically. I face the wall of the restaurant so no one can see me while I try to compose myself. Once I get myself together, I turn around. Chase is standing behind me.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I'm fine. I'll survive. I have in the past.” But tears start falling again.
Chase walks toward me, lifts my chin, and wipes my tears away. “Don't cry. He's a jerk. He doesn't deserve your tears.” He pulls me into a hug then grabs ahold of my face and kisses me. I feel my heartstrings pull. I feel a heated passion. I feel it all. This moment right now is what I have dreamed about for ten years. The day in the gym when Chase protected me, I wanted him to kiss me so badly… Now, though, as much as I want this, I have to back away. I can't go back. I can only move forward. If one day that means moving forward with Chase, then it will be fate. Right now, however, I need to be alone. I pull away.
“Chase, I have to go,” I whisper to him.
“Hailey, no. Don't go. You have my heart. I think you’ve always had a piece of it.”
I may need his heart because mine is breaking. I run to my car. I can’t look back because it may be too hard to leave.
CHAPTER 33
Chase
I STAND HERE watching Hailey walk away from me. She may need space right now, but I'm not done with her. She will be mine. I'm not going to be stupid like I was last time; I'm not going to have anyone make my decisions for me. I want to run after her, but she doesn't look back.
I decide to follow her home to make sure she gets there safely. I don't care if she sees me or not. I look over the steering wheel and notice that my two fingers look broken. I should go to the emergency room, but I'll be there forever, and they won't do anything for it anyway. I'll see how they are tomorrow.
I park across the street from her house then wait for her to unlock her door and go inside. When she gets out of her car, I can see her pain. I want to take her in my arms. I want to make her feel better. I want to make love to her all night long. It bothers me that I know she's probably crying right now. Parker is an asshole. He crossed the line. If he wanted to take cheap shots at someone, it shouldn’t have been Hailey. I hope he and Megan have a nice life together. They deserve each other.
Suddenly, my dad is calling my phone. I answer right away.
“Hi, Dad.”
“Hey, the newspaper must have gotten ahold of the news,” he warns.
“Nothing's private anymore.”
“Did you see the headlines?” he asks.
“No, I couldn’t care less.”
“It says, Pro Lacrosse Player Quits Team Amidst Rumors of Depression and Anger Issues.”
“Oh yeah, I'm so angry,” I say, sarcastically.
“Well, you have been tense lately, son. Are you okay?”
“I'll be fine. I just found out P slept with Megan and got her pregnant. How would you feel?”
“Chase, I told you about him, not to trust him, but you’re thick-headed.” My dad has always been skeptical of Parker’s intentions. He has said many times that he doesn’t trust him.
“I guess we all have to learn our lessons somehow.”
“Mr. Katz is waiting for your decision in regards to the pharmacy.”
“Yeah, well, I didn't quit lacrosse because I need anger management classes,” I say sarcastically.
“I'm proud of you, Chase, and so is your mother.”
“Thanks, Dad. I have made all the wrong decisions, starting with how I treated someone.”
“A woman?”
“Yes. I'm outside her house now, making sure she’s okay. She won't talk to me.”
“She probably needs some space. If she cares, she'll come around. Trust me. Your mother is a stubborn woman, too. I learned when I can push and when to back away.”
“I won't t
ell Mom.”
“Now, your sister—she's a different story. I feel bad for the guy who marries her,” he says, joking.
“You're telling me,” I say, laughing. I'm very lucky that I have parents who have stood by me throughout my life. Some people aren't so lucky…
***
It was May 2009.
“I’ve got my final box left to pack,” I said to P as he rummaged through his belongings.
“Man, I can't believe we're graduating college. We have so many great memories here.” He grew silent.
“What's wrong?”
“I don't want to go home. I don't know if I can handle it there,” he said, throwing clothes all over his bed.
“It's only temporary.”
“All my parents do is fight. I never thought it would come to divorce. My dad wants to move in with the side piece. He told me sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Who am I to say what's right and wrong? I'm just the kid.”
“Dude, cheating is wrong no matter what, especially when it’s done to your mom. She’s like a second mother to me.”
“I know, man. I don’t know what to do,” Parker said.
“Don't let it affect you. You have your business degree now. You get to make your own choices. I'm going back home until I can afford to get my own house, but you can come and stay with my family if you want. You know that,” I say, inviting him. My parents knew what went on: they had known Parker’s parents since they were kids.
“I'll see what happens. My mom is going to need someone to stay with her.”
“So he's definitely leaving?” I questioned.
“So I hear. Who knows?”
“I'm here for you always. You're like my brother. We've been through so much together.”
He stared into space like something else was on his mind. He didn't say anything for about three minutes.
“Yeah, let's get back to packing,” he mumbled.
I blew it off. I was eager to finish up and get on with the rest of my life…
***
Present day
I guess P is just following in his father's footsteps. Although it's no excuse, he did have a rough upbringing. Parker was always caught in the middle of his parents’ battles.
Who would have thought, six years later, our friendship would end like this, and, to top it off, that he was hiding a secret when we graduated… He had slept with Carrie behind my back.
With friends like him, who needs enemies?
I pull away from Hailey’s condo, knowing that she is safe. I need a plan to get her into my life.
CHAPTER 34
Hailey
I KNOW CHASE followed me home. I saw his truck through the rearview mirror. I know he means well. I just don’t want to be put in the middle of this entire mess. I should have gone with my gut feeling where Parker was concerned, but I thought I should finally, for once in my life, give in to my insecurities. He actually seemed genuine. I totally had that one pegged incorrectly. It is good that I learned about the true Parker before it was too late.
As far as Chase goes, I have pined for him since I was a teenager. He was always a hero in my eyes. He was there for me when I needed him. He was there for me tonight. I relived pain that I never wanted to feel again in my heart. Chase is always there to pick up the pieces. He has called three times since I left him. I know he is concerned that I am hurting, but I don’t know what to say to him. He even left two messages on my voicemail; the third time, just hung up.
His first message, he said, “Hailey, I’m sorry for everything that happened tonight. Parker acted like a real asshole. I know that you probably hate me, too, but I came to the restaurant because I didn’t want to see him hurt you also. I hope you are okay. I don’t want to see you upset, and I just wanted you to know that the stuff Parker said tonight is not true. You are beautiful inside and out, and I hope we can have a chance together. I know I fucked up with you, but I just want that chance to make it up to you.”
His second message was, “Hailey, I got cut off on my last message. I hope you can forgive me, I really do. I would never intentionally hurt you. I let some asshole come between us, and that was my fault. Please call me if you decide you want to talk to me. I won’t stop trying this time. Hope to hear from you. Bye…”
I’m not going to call him tonight. I need time to think about what I want.
Sometimes what we need and what we want are two different things. I need someone who is going to treat me right, but I want Chase. I’m not going to deny that. I just don’t trust him at this moment. I believe that he does like me, but I also believed Parker, and look how that turned out.
It feels good just to get in my pajamas, watch a movie, and relax after all the drama that unfolded. My favorite movie, The Family Stone, is on. It came out the year I graduated high school.
I look at Chase’s number on my phone. I should call him back. He has to be hurting too. He just found out that his best friend impregnated his ex-girlfriend. He needs a friend, and I need to be there for him the same way he was there for me.
I hit send on his number. He answers tentatively.
“Hailey?”
“Hi, Chase. It’s me. I wanted to see if you were okay.”
“I am. I’m still a little shocked at what happened behind my back, but it no longer concerns me.”
“I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you as a friend, if you need me. You are always there for me.”
“I really appreciate it. It means a lot to hear that coming from you. I’m sorry for everything, Hailey. I mean it. I don’t want to see you hurt or talked to like the way Parker talked to you tonight. I wanted to knock him out, but you kind of handled that yourself,” he said laughing.
“Yes, I guess I did.”
“Hailey?”
“Yes…”
“Do you want to talk in person?”
“When?”
“Now.”
“I’m in my pajamas.”
“That’s okay. I can be there in twenty minutes.”
I ask myself if this is a good idea. He needs a friend. He needs to talk about what happened.
I may be about to kick myself for this. Why am I too nice?
“Sure, come over. I’m still up. I’ll make coffee.”
CHAPTER 35
Chase
AFTER EVERYTHING I found out tonight, I feel betrayed. When Hailey finally calls me back I have a new hope. She is my concern right now. I need to make everything right with her. I practically run out of my door when she says it is okay for me to stop over.
When I arrive, she gives me a quick tour of her place. Her condo is a nice size, decorated in her perfect taste.
“I made some coffee,” she says. “Have a seat at the table.”
I feel so comfortable around her. She makes me feel wanted. She places a large mug in front of me as I watch her move smoothly around the kitchen.
“I'm sorry about what happened to you. I'm sure it's tough to handle,” she says with sympathy in her eyes.
“The hardest part is P. He's been my boy for years. I'm not surprised by Megan. I just don't know if I can forgive him… ever.” I don’t even want to talk about those two losers right now.
“I learned in my life, people hurt you, but you have to move on from it. I’ve experienced a lot of pain over the years, but if I’d dwelled on it, I wouldn't be where I am today.”
“You're my hero, Hailey.”
“I'm not a hero. I'm far from it,” she says, sitting across from me at the table. “Maybe a survivor.”
“Well, in my eyes, you are my hero.” I really mean that. I saw what she had to endure. I witnessed her survive every day. She is one of the strongest people I know.
“Thanks,” she says, blushing. “I think you will be just fine. This will pass over, and you won't even think about it after a while.”
“I doubt it. The confusing part is Megan. Why did she call me constantly to get back together with her if she’
d already slept with P?”
“Guilt… She probably figured, if she made it like she loved you, she wouldn’t feel so guilty for what she’d done.”
“I guess that kind of makes sense. Or they just really wanted to fucking trick me and concocted a whole plan.”
“When Sammy cheated on me, I hurt, but our relationship was so bad by then that it really wasn’t at all surprising. After we broke up, he called constantly to get back with me. It's so bizarre, but then I realized, he’d figured out that he wasn’t going to get someone like me out there, especially if he was treating them the way he had treated me. The old me probably would have taken him back, but the new me said, ‘fuck it, you don't need him.’ I learned that I only need myself.”
“I need you, Hailey.” I look into her eyes. I want her. I have to have her in my life.
“Chase, there's too much going on for you to need me,” she says, looking away.
I grab her hand across the table. “Tomorrow, I'm going to make a decision that's going to affect the rest of my life. This opportunity made me open my eyes. Tomorrow I'm going to make a deal to purchase a pharmacy.”
“Wow, Chase, that's amazing. I wish you all the best.”
“Thanks. I also quit lacrosse yesterday. You didn't see the headlines?”
“No, I don't even pay attention to that shit, but I’m shocked that you did. Lacrosse is your life.”
I look at her beautiful face and don’t respond. I'm feeling really impulsive right now. I don't know what's driving it, but I know what I want. “Do you like living here alone? I mean, it's really great, but do you get lonely? Do you wish you had someone?”
She looks confused by the question. “I mean, sometimes, but me and Twix are fine.”
“Twix?”
“My cat. He's around here somewhere. He likes to hide.”
“You named your cat... Twix?” I ask, laughing. “That's cute.”