by Tara Sue Me
In which case, she really did not want to watch this. She managed to step around the guy standing to her left, but tripped over the woman at his side when she glanced over her shoulder for one last glance at Fritz.
“Sorry,” she said to the woman.
“It’s no problem,” she said in heavily accented English. “He is magnificent, no?”
Kate felt her face heat and didn’t have to ask who she was talking about. “Yes, he is.”
“Such a pity,” the woman said.
Kate, who had been hell-bent on leaving, stopped in her tracks at the sound of the woman saying that. “What?”
“This is such a pity.”
“Such a pity, what?” She asked.
“That you won’t be seeing anything other than a great discipline scene,” she said. “You won’t be able to appreciate the rest of his magnificent body. Something happened when he was in the States some months ago. And since he came back, he hasn’t been the same.”
Kate heard a faint buzzing in her ears, she wasn’t sure what it was. She asked the woman to repeat what she’d said.
“Oh yes,” she replied, apparently happy to gossip. “He came back from the states, and ever since, he will participate in scenes, but not any that end in sex.”
“Why not?” Kate asked, refusing to look his way.
“Rumor is, some woman over there broke his heart. Some say he’s saving himself for her. Others say that he has lost the passion to play with anybody except her.” She shrugged. “To be honest no one knows what happened in America except for him. We try to respect this. Only I wish we could find the woman and we could bring her back. So we could get him back.”
Kate couldn’t stand to hear anything else. It couldn’t be her. Surely it was someone else. She couldn’t be the reason behind Fritz’s change in play. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said to the woman. “I hope he finds her. Excuse me, please.”
She stepped away from her, more careful this time and absolutely refusing to look over her shoulder. Eventually, she made it back to the street corner and she flagged down a cab. Suddenly, she couldn’t get back to her room fast enough.
~~~~~
Fritz packed his bag and prepared to go home. He had just finished a scene where he’d had to discipline a submissive and he was not in good headspace. To be quite honest, he had not been a good anything since he came back from the United States. That was his problem, though, and he planned to work through it alone. Part of that plan meant going home now, as opposed to finding a willing partner to play with.
“Herr Brose,” a club Domme greeted him as she entered the office shared by all the Tops in the club he was a member of. He nodded her way. Not really in the mood to talk, but he didn't want to be rude either.
“I saw your discipline scene,” she said and he grunted some sort of a response, hoping she’d get the message he didn’t want to talk.
“Of course,” she continued. “I missed the beginning of it because of the American woman standing next to me outside.”
If she’d been looking for a way to get his attention, that was it. “American woman?”
“Yes.”
Of course it was no strange thing to have an American woman in Berlin. Numerous Americans stood outside of the club everyday watching them in the windows. But there was something in the way she mentioned this particular American woman. Although what is was, he wasn’t sure. What made this one so special, she felt she should bring her up to him?
“I saw her standing and watching at first and she only caught my eye because I thought she was acting a bit nervous. Looking around, as if she expected to see somebody here. And once your scene started, she turned to leave. But she literally ran right into me.”
It was nobody. He knew that. Nobody and in no way could it possibly be her. Even if he thought it was sweet that the Domme was on the lookout for him. Hell, he knew the gossip going around about him. The sad fact was, there was no reason at all for Kate to be in Berlin. None at all. In fact, he was willing to bet that Berlin was the last place she wanted to be. Ever.
“I know it's been difficult since I’ve been back,” he said. “I have a few things I need to work through. I promise to be back to my original self before too long.”
She nodded. “You know if there is anything you need, all of us would do it for you.”
“I know,” he said, and he did. He had good friends at the club.
“You don’t think it was her, tonight, do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
She nodded and he left.
He drove home hating the way he couldn’t get the conversation out of his mind. Hated that it took just one conversation to ensure he was only able to think about her for the rest of the evening.That it was almost as if she was in the house with him.
She was there while he took a shower and he wanted so badly to pleasure himself to the vision of her in his head. But he refused.
She was with him as he ate, across the table, chatting with him about baseball.
She with him in his bed, curling her lithe body around his, even as he tucked her in his arms.
Though part of him hated that she had taken over some of his mind, he loved it too, because he was afraid that without the feeling of her presence, he would lose the last tie to her he had.
He couldn’t lose that tie yet. All he could do was to continue as best he could. Hoping one day she’d reach out to him and he’d find the strength to let her go once and for all.
~~~~~
Someone was knocking at his door.
Fritz looked at the clock by his bed with a groan. Two thirty-eight. Who the hell was knocking on his door to two thirty-eight in the morning? His head pounded and he realized it was more than just the insistent knocking that bothered him. Based on the empty bottles he found scattered across the table, he’d attempted to drink Kate out of his mind last night.
Which obviously didn’t work because when he looked out the window to see who was making so much noise in the middle of the damn night, it looked like Kate. He ran his hand through his hair. Fuck, he was a mess. Now he was imagining her at his door.
He turned out the light and decided to go back to bed.
“Fritz, please. I saw the light.”
He glanced at the table so he could remember what brand of beer he’d had last night. He had to make sure he never bought it again. Now his mind was projecting her voice. Visions were one thing, voices were scary as hell.
“I know it’s the middle of the night,” said the voice from the other side of the door. “But I couldn’t sleep. I was in that hotel room and all I could think about was how close you were and how I couldn’t go another second without talking to you. Without seeing you.”
He froze where he was, suddenly very much awake. Was that a sniffle he heard? Moving so quickly, he nearly tripped, he made it to the door and flung it open.
“Kate?” He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have called. It’s so late…”
“Come inside.” He ushered her through the doorway, looking over her shoulder. He should spank her ass for being out so late by herself. What if he hadn’t been home? Of course, the possibility existed that she knew he’d be home. “What are you doing in Berlin?”
“I had a job interview.”
“In Berlin?” He asked. How could she have had an interview in Berlin? It didn’t make any sense. “Are you moving here?”
“No,” she said. “The lady I interviewed with is based here. I can actually work from anywhere I want.”
“That explains why you’re in Berlin. Why are you here?”
He didn’t miss the way her bottom lip trembled just a bit before she pressed both of them together and they stopped.
“I can…it’s just…” She looked around. “I’m sorry. Can we sit down or something?”
He could have hit himself. “Yes, I’m sorry.” He motioned to the kitchen ta
ble. “Would you like something to drink.”
“No, thank you. I’m fine.”
With that out of the way, he leaned back and waited for her to start talking.
She sat slightly slumped in her seat. That surprised him. He’d assumed that since she didn’t return any of his texts that she was doing very well without him. However, the woman before him didn’t look like she was doing very well at all.
“After I left Wilmington, I decided to take some time and work on me. To really think about what I wanted. Not only from life, but also from a relationship.” She looked up from playing with her nails. “I’d never really done that before. Even after I left Cole.”
But why couldn’t you at least reply to my texts? He wanted to ask, but decided to refrain for now.
“After I put down on paper the kind of relationship I wanted, I realized I’d never seen anything like it before.” She shrugged. “I had to face the fact that I probably wouldn’t find anyone who would be interested.”
“Did you ask anyone?”
“No.”
“You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a bit slow here. It is almost three in the morning.” He meant to lighten the mood, but it didn’t seem to have worked. “It didn't occur to you to ask me?”
“No,” she said. “Because nothing I had ever heard gave any sort of hint that you were interested in any sort of serious relationship. You're just a player."
“Just a player,” he mumbled to himself. “After I told you that I would be vanilla for you, it still didn’t hit you that I might want to at least talk about what you needed?”
“I just didn’t think you’d be interested.”
“Why would I not be?”
She sighed. “For starters, you live in Berlin. I live in the US.”
“I don’t always live in Berlin. I move around quite a bit. You know that.”
“And I wasn’t sure I wanted to live like that. Never in one spot.”
He leaned forward, making sure he had her attention. “The fact is you didn't even ask me what I wanted. Or what I was willing to give up or would at least compromise on. You made the decision for me.”
“You can’t sit there and tell me that you would actually be willing to compromise on what you want in a relationship for me. When I was here before you were very clear about what you wanted and that you wanted a full-time power exchange.”
He caught her eye and for a long moment, didn’t say anything. When he finally spoke it wasn’t until she started to squirm under his gaze and even then he made sure to speak low and even. “I don’t believe I like the fact that you are sitting at my table telling me what I would or would not do.”
She opened and closed her mouth a few times. Good. Let her think about it for a minute.
“I’ve been interested in you since the first time I met you.” He nodded at the surprise in her eyes. “Yes, back when you were Cole’s. I didn’t say or do anything while you were with him because I would never disrespect anyone like that. Much less one of my good friends.”
“Wait. What?”
He hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that and hesitated a second too long.
“Are you seriously telling me you’ve been interested in me for years and you never got around to telling me? And you think you’re going to sit there all high and mighty and pious and judge me? I don’t think so.”
It suddenly struck him how tired he was. “I agree we need to finish this conversation, but we also need sleep. Or at least I do. The guest room is made up. You can sleep in there for now and we’ll pick this conversation up in a few hours.”
“I’ll just go back to the hotel.”
“The hell you will. It’s not safe.”
She crossed her arms. “I made it here, didn’t I?”
“I’m not going to argue about this.”
“Good.”
“If I wake up and you’ve left, I’ll find you and drag your ass to the club you saw me at and it’ll be your turn for a discipline session in the window display.” He could tell by the way her cheeks flushed and how she refused to look at him that it had been her in the crowd.
“I don’t believe you.”
He rose partway out of his chair, placed both hands on the table and looked straight in her eyes. “Try me.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Kate woke up, not feeling like she’d slept at all. A quick look at the bedside table showed it was after seven o'clock in the morning. She gave a short laugh. She hadn't slept very much last night. Rolling over to her back, she decided she really shouldn’t be surprised, seeing how the conversation had gone a few hours ago with Fritz.
She wondered how long it would be before he woke up. No sooner than she thought that, she heard a noise in the kitchen. Fritz was making coffee. And since he didn’t drink coffee, he was making it for her. She stretched and got out of bed. Might as well go ahead and see him. No point putting off the inevitable. He looked up as she walked into the kitchen. It made some part of her feel better seeing the dark circles under his eyes and knowing he hadn’t slept well either.
“Morning, Kate,” he said.
“Good morning, Fritz.”
“Coffee’s brewing. I can cook something for your breakfast if you want.”
“I’m fine with coffee for right now."
The room was quiet with neither one of them breaking the silence with words. She knew she needed to say something, but she didn’t know where to start. How could she with everything that needed to be said?
The coffee had finished making. He poured her a cup and placed it in front of her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“I can understand why you didn’t tell me about what you needed in relationships.You didn’t know what you wanted and you were still working it out for yourself. Completely understandable. What I don't understand, is why you didn't answer my texts?”
“I didn’t think you noticed. You’re a known player.”
He leaned forward. “You keep saying that and I’m not going to say that it wasn’t true in the past, but I ask you, how many women did you see me play with in Wilmington?”
The truth hit her at that moment. “Just me.”
“Yes, and to be perfectly honest with you, I haven’t been with anyone sexually since you were in Berlin the first time.”
Her mouth dropped and she closed it quickly. “But that’s been…”
“A long time.” He nodded. “Yes. But frankly if they weren’t you, I wasn’t interested. Also, about the full-time play.” He drummed his fingers on the table. After he left her last night, he’d gone over the conversations they’d had previously, trying to come up with how she came to believe what she did. “When you asked me if I was like Cole, I said twenty-four, seven was my preference, but I’ve never lived it like you have and I never meant that to be translated to mean I wasn’t willing to do something else.”
Her lips formed an “O” of surprise.
He leaned closer. “Tell me why you came to my door last night when you wouldn’t return my texts and you didn’t stop by to see me in the club yesterday afternoon.”
He’d given her nothing but honesty and she would do the same for him. “When I saw you with that submissive yesterday, it brought everything back.” She took a deep breath. “Suddenly, finding the perfect relationship didn’t seem as important as being with the man I love.”
She waited for him to say something, but he simply sat there. She brushed a tear out of her eye. “But I’m so confused because I don’t want to be a full-time slave again, but I really like it sometimes and who’s ever heard of a sometimes slave? And you live here and there and everywhere and I’m in New York. I don’t see how we could ever make it work.”
She dropped her head. A few seconds later, she heard his chair scrape across the floor and footsteps as he approached.
“Kate,” he said standing in front of her and she looked up. He held out his hand. “Stand up for me.”
Uncertain, she
took his hand and did as he bid.
“Did you say you loved me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He kissed the few remaining tears from her cheeks and whispered, “Oh my, liebling, I love you and as long as we agree on that, everything else will fall in place.”
“How can you be so sure?”
He smiled. “Because I’ll tell it to do so.”
She huffed. That wasn’t any sort of answer. But before she could express her outrage, he crushed his lips to hers in a dominating and possessive kiss that wiped her mind of any doubt.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Two Months Later
Partner’s Club
Wilmington, Delaware
“Everything looks fabulous,” Abby told Kate. “You guys are amazing.”
They were inside the dressing room. Abby was already dressed and in fact, had been headed out into the main room when she saw Kate walk in and joined her. Kate was happy to have the company. Tonight was going to stretch her and she was thankful for the slightest bit of distraction.
“Thanks. I’m so glad everyone likes it.” Kate put her bag in a locker and started undressing. She was moving in with Fritz tomorrow and he’d told her before she did, they would do a public scene at the Partner’s Club.
She didn’t know why she was nervous. Over the last few months, she’d played numerous times with Fritz, both in private and in the window display of his club. Yet somehow, tonight felt different. She didn’t think it was because she’d be in front of people she knew. She knew the people in Berlin.
No, something told her tonight was different. Tonight was special. She just wasn’t sure why.
She loved what the Delaware group had done to the dressing rooms. Functional, yet comfortable while still managing to convey a sensual feel was hard to do, but they had pulled it off. She stripped down to her thong and bra, just as Fritz had requested and slid into the barely there robe waiting for her in the walk in dressing area the admin working the front desk told her had been reserved her.
Kate checked to make sure her hair was still pulled back and secured into a high ponytail. She stopped briefly to check herself in the full length mirror and, finding herself satisfactory, looked at Abby. “Ready.”