by Loyd, Sandy
Gus remained silent for a few minutes, obviously mulling Colin’s revelations around in his head. Finally he asked, “If what you say is true and Libby can’t stay here, what happens when she travels back to her time? I can’t help think that you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”
Colin took a deep breath as a lonely ache wormed its way to his heart. His gaze roamed over the rolling hills. Several horses frolicked in the distance, holding his attention for an extended moment before his focus returned to Gus.
“No need to worry about me,” he said in a pained tone. “I can take care of myself. I’m a big boy who knows the rules.”
“That’s the problem, Colin. You’ve always followed the rules and where has it gotten you? No one deserves happiness more than you. I know you didn’t have it with Abigail.”
“Abby has nothing to do with this.” Colin’s tone was clipped, expressing his refusal to discuss his dead wife.
“I disagree. She has everything to do with it,” Gus practically snarled. “I watched Abigail’s bitterness tear you apart. Find another woman.” His gaze turned pleading. “If what you say is true, then don’t set yourself up with someone you can’t have.”
“Too late, Gus. I aim to ride this one to the finish.”
Gus jumped down and prepared to undo the gate to release the mare. “It’s obvious you’re set on your course, but what about Libby?”
“What about her?” Colin put his hand behind his neck and rubbed, thinking about the question, not liking the answer. “I know she’d never be happy here forever, but while she’s here, I’ll do everything in my power to please her.”
“What about her happiness when she returns to her future life? If she becomes involved with you, she could be hurt in the end.”
“That’s her decision to make, not yours or mine,” Colin said.
Sighing, Gus said, “I may be overstepping my bounds, but I’m worried. You’re more like a brother to me than an employer. Plus, I’ve come to care for Libby. I’d hate to see two good people suffer because they were foolish.”
“Isn’t that what love is all about?” Colin said, giving in to another self-deprecating laugh. “We’re all foolish when we fall in love. It comes with the territory. I certainly never expected love to happen, but now that it has I need to follow my heart.”
“I’ve said my piece.” Gus grunted. “Tread carefully, my friend.” His attention returned to the mare. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to accommodate our big boy over there.” He nodded at the stallion prancing across the paddock. “I’ll take this mare in and bring out another that’s more ready.”
“I’ll help,” Colin said, thankful to have the subject dropped. Gus’s warning came days too late. Like runaway horses in a thunderstorm, Colin’s feelings had taken off. He only hoped that Lord Tennyson knew what he was talking about with his poem about better having loved and lost than never having loved at all. He didn’t want to contemplate the alternative.
~
Libby watched Nathan cautiously make his way toward the frisky colt. Her thoughts were not on work, but on her time with Colin. A surge of pleasure shot throughout her system over his comment about falling in love. She couldn’t pretend it hadn’t affected her. The fact that her feelings matched his lifted a huge weight off her shoulders. Of course, she refused to listen to the loud clanging bells of her conscience. She had the rest of her life to deal with it, once she went home. Colin was in the here and now and she intended to take advantage of the situation while she could. She might never get another chance at experiencing the love he had to offer.
As Nathan worked to secure a bit with lead and halter on the young horse with a minimum of effort, Libby caught movement out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Gus walking in their direction.
“I did it.” Nathan’s shout was full of pride.
Libby laughed. “You sure did, kiddo.” She nodded to the other side of the pasture. “Now see if you can coax him to follow your lead.”
“You’ve done wonders with the boy,” Gus said, his gaze on his son. “He’s taking to his task as if he were made for it.”
“He is his father’s son,” Libby said, holding a hand over her eyes to block out the sunlight.
Silently, they watched Nathan work until Gus’s voice interrupted the quiet. “Colin tells me you’re not from around here.”
Libby looked up at him and, chewing on the bottom of her lip, thought about how to answer. Finally she shrugged. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. Do you think I’m crazy?”
“Hell, Libby, that’s an understatement.” Gus took off his hat and scratched his head. “This whole thing is crazy. But Colin believes it. That’s enough for me.” He stuck his hat back on his head and tugged it into place.
“I guess that’s something.” Scanning his expression closely, she asked, “Did he tell you everything?”
“You mean that you’re a girl?” At her nod, he added, “Berta told me. But that’s not what concerns me now.”
His tone alerted her. She lifted her chin an inch and met his gaze. “What concerns you now that you know the truth?”
“I fear the two of you will do something you’ll both regret. I know Colin cares for you. If you aren’t supposed to be here, I can’t help believing that this whole thing is wrong.”
“How so?” The yearling she’d been working with yanked his head to the side, trying to pull out of her reach. “Easy, boy,” Libby cooed, grabbing the reins and holding tight until the horse calmed. Colin only wanted to spend time with her. How could that be wrong? She glanced back at Gus and stated with more confidence than she possessed, “I know what I’m doing.” Wrong or not, she wasn’t blind to the consequences.
“Do you?” He stroked the horse while the animal was getting used to the bit in his mouth. “Somehow, I don’t think either of you know.”
“Everything in life has consequences. Surely the two of us spending time together isn’t hurting anyone,” Libby shot back, feeling slightly defensive.
“I’m worried is all.”
“Worried?” Hopefully, he didn’t think she was some kind of Jezebel coming to steal his master’s heart. The thought made her smile. “For me or for Colin?”
“For both of you.”
“Oh, come on.” Snorting and giving a good impression of dismissing his concern, she waved her hand. “Nothing’s going to happen. We’ll both work to keep things easy between us.”
“I doubt it will be that easy. The air sizzles when the two of you are together. All it will take is one spark and you both will go up in flames.”
Libby felt trapped, unable to look away as he continued, his voice holding more than a warning. “Colin is only a man and at some point he’ll want to consummate the relationship. The more he cares for you, the more tempting you become.”
Yeah, like she was really a temptation, she thought, shaking her head. “He’s always been a perfect gentleman. He won’t go where I don’t want him to.” The fact that she’d been thinking along those lines sent a rush of heat waves to her cheeks. Holding her head down so he wouldn’t see her embarrassed flush, she led the horse to the rail and tied him off, then picked up another bit with lead. Dismissively, Libby turned her attention to another nearby colt.
Gus followed, much to her dismay. “You’re so sure of your ability to hold him at bay? I know him. He won’t stop trying until he gets what he wants. I’m giving you fair warning, Libby. Keep your guard up. If you consummate things, you’ll both come to regret it. I don’t want to see either one of you hurt when you return to your time and place. Most of all, I don’t think Colin will be able to deal with the loss.”
“What are you getting at?” Libby halted, suddenly not so sure of her motives any longer. “It’s not my intention to hurt him.”
“Then don’t. The only way you won’t hurt him is to stay away from him until you find your way back home.”
Her eyes narrowed as she searched his earnest face. “But it�
�s what he wants,” she whispered. Or was it something she wanted?
“His wife’s actions almost destroyed him. He cared for her. She was nothing but a selfish woman. Thank God he didn’t bow to her demands. Still, she made his life a misery and Colin blamed himself for her bitterness.” Gus gripped her by the shoulders and his voice became more fervent. “He feels things very deeply—takes responsibilities for others. He doesn’t need any more heartache. Think about that and about what your actions will accomplish. Why go looking for trouble?”
Libby closed her eyes, her thoughts becoming a jumbled mess. As much as it hurt to admit it, Gus made sense. She opened her eyes and spoke from her heart. “I won’t go looking for trouble, Gus. But I can’t ignore him either.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she brushed them away, unable to still the pain piercing her heart. “Damn, this is such a mess,” she whispered. “I don’t think either of us has a choice. All I can do is take it one day at a time.”
“I’ve said my piece. That’s all I can do.” With head held high, he turned and headed in Nathan’s direction.
Watching the two laughing at something Nathan said, Libby couldn’t stop second-guessing herself. Maybe Gus was right. Maybe she should keep her distance from Colin.
No maybes about it. As long as she continued to exist in 1874, they should stay away from each other.
Pure pain pierced her soul as she realized she had to try harder to get home. At the same time, she had to make sure that Colin understood her decision. Closing her eyes, she willed away fresh tears at the thought of not seeing or being with him anymore.
How had he become so important to her in such a short time?
Another fact dawned on her, this one not so surprising. Once she made it back to her own time, she and Dave were through. The man no longer owned her heart. Not like Colin did. She wondered if he ever had because what she felt for Colin dwarfed her feelings for Dave.
She should have never considered marrying someone who didn’t accept her for who she was. Even when hampered by time and era, Colin had never tried to change her, had actually seemed to enjoy her as a person.
It was with a heavy heart that Libby finished her day. Dinner was a subdued affair. Both Berta and Gus were quiet while eating, seeming to sense Libby’s disquiet. Even Nathan and Sarah weren’t as buoyant as usual. When the meal was over, Libby set off for the trees and her talk with Colin.
He was waiting for her when she rounded the bend. He’d placed a blanket on the ground.
She sat down beside him with her back against the tree.
“What is it,” he asked, clearly noting her turmoil.
Pasting a fake smile on her face, she shrugged and looked away. “How do you know something’s wrong?”
He gently rubbed the side of her face with the back of his hand. “Ah, Libby,” he whispered. “Because I know you.” His hand trailed to her chin and he lifted it up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Now what’s wrong?”
Unable to figure out a way to begin, Libby remained silent. How do you rip out your heart, she thought? Maybe it was better to just plunge in the knife and twist. She took a deep breath. “I think we should stop seeing each other until I go home.”
“No! That is not an option.” Colin’s angry voice reverberated through the early evening. He sat upright and turned to her, his eyes blazing with passion. “How could you even suggest such a thing?”
“What can come of it?” Libby offered a sad smile. “What are we doing?”
He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a little shake. “We’re taking advantage of the time left. I’ll not be denied.”
“You know what will happen if we continue? The end will be harder to endure. Please, Colin, I don’t want to hurt you. You have to see how useless it is,” she begged.
“You think I would give up one second with you to keep from hurting?” His manner was unyielding. His voice held a steely resolve when he added, “I already hurt from wanting you, so what’s a little more?”
Her heart sank. “But I don’t want to be the cause of anyone’s pain, especially yours.”
“You promised, Libby. You said you’d give me the time. Why have you changed your mind?”
“Gus.” She sighed. “He made too much sense. He’s right.”
“Damn his meddling hide.” The curse was followed by some not-so-nice words said under his breath. “This is between you and me. Can you honestly say you don’t want to be with me?”
“I’m so confused,” she whispered, shaking her head slowly. “I don’t know what to do.”
“We’re taking what time there is. I’ll not let you renege on your promise. Do you understand?”
The torment in his voice ripped through her, tearing into her resolve. “This is becoming more than we thought. We shouldn’t continue.”
“No! I accept the fact that circumstances will take you from me, but I can’t endure the thought of you purposely keeping yourself from me. If you do, you might as well yank my heart from my chest right now and stomp on it.” He pulled her closer. “Whatever is between us is growing. Neither of us has a choice anymore,” he said urgently in a low voice before lowering his mouth over hers.
It was nothing like the kiss on the grass during their first picnic. That kiss spoke of love, tenderness, and longing. This kiss spoke of the raging desire she felt pouring from his body. There was nothing tender about Colin’s lips rendering a full-blown assault. He continued his onslaught, using his mouth and tongue to ignite in her what had been simmering inside for days. When Libby responded, he released her mouth, raining kisses over her face to her ear.
“Yield to me, Libby,” he whispered. “I need you so much.” He continued using his tongue to excite, using his mouth to beg. “Please, Libby. Give me memories. Let us give each other memories.” He moved against her, leaving her no doubt about where this was headed. “See what you do to me. Feel my desire. Yield to me.”
His pull was too enticing, his lips too inviting. More than anything, she needed something to remember of her time with him, too. All she wanted at this point was to yield everything, join with him, and never let him go because the thought of not doing so left her soul empty.
What could it hurt? Libby loved Colin and he loved her. This was just an expression of that love. Plus, she was tired of denying their attraction existed. If a stolen moment in a pasture under two oak trees was all she could have? Well, she’d make the most of it.
~
Elation surged through Colin when Libby’s resistance dissolved into a moan. And when she all but melted and gave him more access to her neck, love and yearning overwhelmed him. The primal urge to mate with her became more than an act of love. It was an act of fate. She was part of him—his other half—no matter that she’d come from over a hundred years to be with him. She would be his for as long as time allowed and he planned to spend every second loving her.
He worked to shed her clothing as well as his own before kissing her again.
“See what you do to me,” he asked after releasing her lips. “I can hardly control myself when I’m near you for want of being inside of you. As elemental as breathing, my love.”
Her only answer was to bring his mouth back to hers. In tandem they touched each other, discovering what lovers learn when bodies become temples to expand on love. She was as fully aroused as he was when he hovered over her, seeking her gaze. Holding it, he let her see the proof of his love shimmering there.
Having the same look reflected back to him was nearly his undoing. “Forgive me, Libby. It’s no longer a matter of honor. It’s a matter of life and death.” He sank into her warmth and began the eternal dance of love, moving in and out with a song in his heart.
This mating was more than mere sex. Their joining transcended time. He’d remember this night forever.
When Colin could think again, he opened his eyes and moved to place his main weight onto his elbows so as not to crush Libby. He looked into the depths of her eyes and was relieved to find
that her eyes, while filled with emotion, held no regret. Her regret wasn’t something he wanted. In the end, she’d wanted him every bit as much as he’d wanted her. He felt it down to his soul. They belonged together, despite the fact that their lives were separated by time. That he also felt down to his soul.
“Now that we have that minor detail out of the way,” he paused for effect, “there’s no question that we’ll continue seeing each other. For as long as we have.”
“That was sex, Colin, not a minor detail.”
“Yes, but that’s why you were backing off, isn’t it? So we wouldn’t go there?” he challenged. “Now it’s a moot point.”
“Yeah.” Libby sighed and closed her eyes. “I can’t help feeling that we should have had some restraint. It’s going to be hard enough as it is to leave you.”
Colin moved to lie next to her on the blanket, pulling her into his embrace and holding her in his arms so that her head rested in the crook of his arm and shoulder.
He kissed the top of her head. “This was meant to be. You can’t deny you don’t feel it, too. There is nothing in me that will believe otherwise after what just happened. Dave or no Dave, time or no time, we were meant to be together at some point. I’m just glad it happened sooner rather than later.” He stopped talking for a few minutes, stroking her arm. His voice was quiet when he continued. “Now we have no obstacles. I’ll have no more objections. Look at me, Libby.”
Her closed eyes opened wide and she did as he’d asked.