by Marie, Amy
Pulling me into him, he takes my still greedy body across the room. “Put your hands on the desk, Noe.”
I don’t know why I do it, why I let him control me but I know that I love it.
My hands plant themselves firmly on the wood and I feel my panties being slowly lowered. He taps my ankle, indicating he wants me to lift my foot and then the other. His smooth hands caress my ass and I can feel his dick rub just underneath it.
“Spread your legs, Noelle, and keep the fucking heels on.”
I widen my stance and feel him up against me again, this time he pushes into me. I’m slick with arousal and he enters easily.
“You feel so good, Trent,” I moan out gripping the edge of the desk.
“God, I missed this,” his strained whisper comes out muffled as he places gentle kisses on my back. “You’ve ruined me. I couldn’t think of anything else except how good your pussy felt.”
His pace is slow and painfully punishing. Every stroke works me up and then teases me.
Both hands grab onto my hipbones and as if he knows what I want he slams into me.
“Fuck!” I scream not giving a shit who hears me.
“You like that?” He asks picking up speed. “You want it harder? I know you love it hard.”
I don’t have to answer. I can’t answer because he is fucking me so fast and so hard I can barely breathe let alone tell him how fucking fantastic this is.
I can feel the buildup begin again as one hand leaves my hips and latches on to my shoulder for more leverage. The whites of my knuckles show as I clutch the desk. I didn’t realize he could go faster until he starts pounding into me relentlessly.
My breath picks up and my second orgasm builds up.
“You’re going to come aren’t you? I can feel you tightening, Noe. God, so tight,” he says fueling the fire. I ignite and come all over him.
“Goddamn it!” He bellows out. “You feel so good when you milk my cock.”
My elbows fall to the desk and a few more thrusts he’s emptying himself with a muttered “fuck.”
~~
“Did you have fun last night, Noelle?” Erin asks over brunch the next morning.
I have my sunglasses on. I haven’t drank that much in so long that I actually have a damn hangover. Erin never came back to the room last night and Trent stayed the night. Right now he is working out with Walker.
“Because Trent texted Walker telling him not to disturb you all in my room. I was very put out,” she says sipping some green tea.
“Really?” I look up at her. “You were put out or you put out? I’m sure Walker had you on your knees last night and you loved every minute. As a matter of fact I had a blast bent over the desk you did your makeup at this morning. Your brother is a fucking alpha beast. He even fucked me with…”
“STOP!” She screams waving her hand at me.
“You asked if I had fun. I was just expressing how fun it was.” I wink and take a bite of my sandwich.
The other girls are all out on the beach but I didn’t think the hot sun would be a good idea in my nauseated state.
Damn alcohol.
“Ugh!” Erin complains grabbing at her stomach.
“What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head and reaches over to grab more sugar for her tea. “Damn cramps.”
It’s kinda like slow motion. That moment you realize you’re late. The moment when you realize that maybe a “Savannah” happened. That moment you realize you might be fucking pregnant and you want to throw up, so you do.
“What the hell, Noe!” Erin yells as she looks down at the pile of puke next to our feet.
“This may seem like reverse déjà vu,” I whisper. “But I’m fucking late.”
“What? Like you might be pregnant?”
I run the numbers in my head unsure of the last time I had my visitor. I usually write it down in my calendar but I can’t for the life of me remember.
“Yes,” I confirm and get yet another sickening feeling. “And it wouldn’t be Trent’s baby. It would be Jace’s.”
Her eyes widen as she looks above me.
“You’re pregnant?” Trent’s angry voice asks me.
I turn around to face him and give him the only answer I can. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“What the hell happened?” Hadley asks on Monday, Labor Day, as we sit on my back porch.
The rest of the weekend in Lake Geneva sucked. Trent stormed off from the table and locked himself in the room like a teenage girl. Even Walker couldn’t get through to him. I was in too much shock and too pissed off at myself for not thinking before sleeping with him, but I can’t think clearly when he’s around, or when alcohol is involved. We continued on without him the rest of the day and night celebrating Erin and Walker’s upcoming nuptials. This, of course, after I took a test and it came out negative, not that Trent would know since he didn’t let me talk to him. I’ll make an appointment to find out what’s going on Tuesday, but right now I have faith in that test. Or at least I’m hoping it’s right.
He barely spoke a word to me in the car and left from my house as soon as we got home. The juvenile in me didn’t tell him I wasn’t pregnant. I understand he is upset. I wasn’t thinking. I broke my number one rule and that is to make sure I wasn’t with child before sleeping with someone else. That way feelings don’t get hurt but he didn’t even give me a chance to explain.
“He walked away…again,” I say. “I’m getting tired of seeing the back of his head.”
“Well, he did get to see the back of yours when he was screwing you from behind,” she giggles into her glass.
“God, the sex with him is amazing and just like his temper; hot.” I wink at her.
“I love when Braden and I have angry sex,” she comments. “You should go to his house and seduce him right now. The sex would be off the charts.”
“Did you not hear me? He thinks I’m pregnant and wouldn’t talk to me. He still isn’t talking to me. We’re not in third grade!” I stand up walking over to the grill and flip our burgers.
I was supposed to go to the Decker’s for a BBQ but figured girl’s night with Hadley was better than another brooding dinner with Trent.
“So, what are you going to do then?” Hadley asks.
I turn around and wave the spatula in the air. “I guess just make the appointment and see what the issue is. I’m sure it’s stress. I have a lot on my plate right now. Or maybe I really am pregnant.”
Her finger circles around the rim of her glass. “What would you do if you were?”
Leaning back against the porch railing I cross my arms over my stomach. “I don’t know. Obviously, I don’t want to have a baby with Jace and I most certainly wouldn’t be with him just because he is the father. I just hope I’m not so Trent and I can fix this and we can go back to trying to figure out where this is going. I really want it to work between us.”
“Do you think you can do that? That if you are pregnant he will want to continue to see where this goes?” She hesitantly asks.
I sigh. “If he loves me like he says he does than yes. Love is supposed to be able to conquer all but I’m just trying to figure out how I would feel if he got another girl pregnant right before we started dating. I think I would be okay with it.”
Hadley shakes her head.
“Well,” I continue. “I hope that I would be.”
~~
My work week has been crazy yet again. Fall weddings and events are popular now and Hadley and I have been weighed down with an insane amount of work. I had to give up a corporate event to another planner because I have so much on my plate. So, needless to say, I’m passed out on a Friday night across my couch.
Trent hasn’t tried to call me all week and after an afternoon appointment with my gynecologist it was confirmed that I am, in fact, not pregnant. I may have jumped off the exam table and hugged my doctor and the nurse. She said my stress is most likely causing me to miss it. In all my years of womanhood I�
��ve never been late. What fucking timing for the first time.
I decide I’ll be the bigger person and attempt to call him tomorrow, though I am thoroughly pissed that he hasn’t made an attempt to call me at all. I’m angry. He has turned me into one of those helpless women who wait by the phone, keeping it within reach in case he decides to call and then getting disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
I’ve never been that woman but when Trent Decker makes you feel the way that I do, you change.
My phone rings and I jump up finding that I’ve fallen asleep on my couch watching late night TV. Glancing at the cable box it shows 3:27 A.M. and my heart immediately starts to race.
No calls this late can be good.
I pick up my phone finding Erin’s face staring back at me. Dread consumes me.
I slide the bar over carefully and answer. “Erin? What’s going on? You never call this late. Is everything okay?”
I hear sobbing on the other end and expect the worst. “What happened?” I try to coax out information.
“Alex,” she cries. “Alex is gone.”
“She left again?” I ask. “Why? Why would she leave with so little time left?”
“No. She didn’t leave as in walk away. She died last night at her parent’s house.” She sobs.
Oh my God.
I knew it was coming, but it doesn’t prepare you for when it happens. So much anger I had for her when she abandoned Trent and Jason was replaced by sadness with her terminal cancer. No one deserves to die young, and I don’t know if she would have ever come back if she didn’t find out she had cancer. I’d like to think that eventually she would have. My heart breaks for Jason. He’s only two and won’t have his mother to give him the advice about girls that every little boy needs. To love and cuddle him when he is sick and hold him when he is scared. To show him all the things she has learned about the world.
Tears start to fall as Erin tells me the chain of events. Alex’s parents called Trent a few hours ago. Trent called Mama Decker and she called Erin who called me.
I hang up with Erin and immediately dial Trent’s number. It goes straight to voicemail.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t decide if I should go to his house, offer to take Jason, go to her parent’s house or just stay home and wait.
Deciding on the latter I jump in the shower and then lay in my bed turning my phone all the way up in case he decides to call me back. The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:30 A.M., and I fell asleep with tears staining my pillow.
A loud pounding startles me awake, and my door bell rings incessantly. I can hear thunder crashing and the lightning lights up my room from a storm that must have recently started. I leap up from the bed and notice it’s just past 5:00 A.M.
Nervous, I grab my baseball bat that’s in the hallway closet and tiptoe my way to the door. The banging gets louder. I take a look through the side window and find Trent looking down at his feet while simultaneously knocking hard on the door. I drop the bat and fling it open stopping him mid knock.
“Trent.”
He doesn’t utter a word but throws his arms around me and we crash to the ground in the doorway. His body is shaking with sobs and it’s all I can do to keep us both from lying completely on the ground.
I pull his head into my chest and let him cry as I rub his head and back. I don’t have to ask why. Regardless of their past, Alex was a big part of his life, the mother of his child, and she was way too young to die.
Moments pass and finally he attempts to stand up. I help him along and bring him into the house, sitting him and his wet clothes on my couch. I walk into the kitchen and get a cup of hot chocolate ready just like I know he likes it. When the milk is warm I mix it up and take it to him. He still doesn’t look up at me so I sit beside him and wrap my arm around his waist, leaning my head on his shoulder, as he slowly sips the hot beverage.
I glance at the cable box seeing it’s now past 6:00 A.M.
I risk conversation as he finishes his drink. “Trent…”
He stands up cutting me short. “Don’t.”
“Okay.”
I don’t know what he doesn’t want me to do. Maybe he just wants to have someone to sit with.
“Can I just ask where Jason is?” I ask looking up at him.
“With my mom,” he says walking to my bedroom.
I follow behind him. He’s in the middle of my bathroom stripping his cold clothes off and turning on the water. He steps in leaving the curtain slightly open. I take that as my cue and slip off my pajamas to take my second shower in three hours.
I open the curtain. He must know I’m there because even though he isn’t looking at me he makes room. Once inside he turns around, grabbing me again and bringing me to the bottom of the tub. The hot water rains down on our entwined bodies. When the water runs cool, I turn it off and get us both towels, wrapping mine around myself and his around his waist.
He pulls me by my hand to my bed and indicates with a nod that he wants me to lie down. I comply and he crawls over me and nestles himself besides me.
“I don’t know how to handle all of this,” he whispers.
I throw my leg over his body snuggling closer. “I know. I know. We can figure it out together.”
Five minutes later and after his breathing becomes even and shallow I grab my phone and shoot a text to Erin and Mama Decker that Trent is with me and not to worry. I close my eyes and before I can fall into a deep sleep I hear him mumble.
“I wish that was my baby. I only want you to have my babies.”
~~
I wake to bright sunlight and mentally kick myself for not lowering the blackout drapes. I get up to close them and walk back to the bed finding it empty.
The bathroom, living room and kitchen are all empty as well except for a note taped to the fridge. I’m scared for what it will say but choose to pick it up anyways.
Noelle,
I didn’t want to wake you. I’m so sorry for bothering you last night. That shouldn’t have happened. Please take this as my apology. There won’t be a funeral for Alex per her request but I will keep you updated on her memorial and cremation. Thank you for all you did for me last night. Just letting me in and being there meant so much to me. We’ll talk soon.
Trent.
I throw the letter across the kitchen and fall to the tile and cry. The note is cold, arctic.
It shouldn’t have happened?
Apology?
We’ll talk soon?
Is he for real? I want to be there for him. It’s killing me that he just left without telling me and not allowing me to help him.
I stand up and walk back into the bedroom. I reach for my cellphone on the nightstand and call Trent’s phone. It rings twice and goes to voicemail. I try it again, this time it rings once and then his recorded message comes on.
He declined my call.
It’s just past noon so I scan my contacts and call Erin.
She answers on the first ring. “Hello?” Her voice is solemn.
“Hey. Do you know where Trent is? I need to talk to him,” I plead into the phone hoping she is on my side. I still haven’t even told her I got confirmation I’m not pregnant.
“He’s right here. We’re at my mom’s house. Hold on,” she says.
I hear shuffling around and some muffled voices. When she returns she sounds more upset.
“I’m sorry. He doesn’t want to talk right now,” she says with disappointment and sadness in her tone.
“Erin!” I yell.
“I’m sorry, Noe. It’s just not a good time. I’m so sorry.”
The line goes dead and I pull the phone away from my ear, looking at it to make sure the call ended.
Deciding that it doesn’t matter how he is told, but just that he is told I pull up my texts and send him a message. If he needs me to be there and is keeping me away because he thinks I’m pregnant I need to tell him.
Me: I went to the Dr yesterday. I’m not pregnant.
I was going to tell you today. Please call me. I want to be there for you and your family.
I woke up feeling guilty for not being with Jason when he got up this morning. So, like a coward I left Noelle a note and took off.
Last night was rough. It started off like any other night though. Alex, Jason and I had dinner together but Alex wanted to go to her parents for the night. It was an unusual request but I haven’t been able to deny her much of anything lately. Her whole body seemed to be shutting down this week. I wanted to talk to Noelle and apologize for not being a man and talking to her like a grown adult but was still mad and wanted to stay close to Alex.
I knew that Noelle and I needed to talk about her pregnancy. After a week of mixed emotions, throwing things and some serious thinking I realized I didn’t care if she was pregnant. I love her enough to accept it, just like she accepts Jason.
Before Alex’s mom picked her up she took Jason into the room and I was in mine, listening to the monitor. She read him Green Eggs and Ham and sang You are my sunshine. I smiled the whole time thinking about Noelle and how I needed to see her, mentally making plans to do so the next day. I wouldn’t care if she kicked me out or not. I wanted to see her.
She kissed Jason goodnight and told him she loved him before closing the door. I walked out of my bedroom and found her leaning her forehead on his door. I pulled her into a hug and she started to cry. We sat on the couch for a few minutes before she began to talk.
“Trent, as a woman facing my mortality I need you to know a few things I’ve learned the past few months.” She started looking down at her hands.
“Alex, you don’t have to…”
“Please, just listen.” Her eyes pleaded with me and I nodded, giving her what she wanted. How could I not?
“Three things.” She held up her frail hand showing me three fingers. “Fight for what you want. Love with every fiber of your being. Never have any regrets.”
“That seems like some great advice,” I said sincerely.
“I’m serious, Trent.” Her motherly tone came out. “All three of those, they apply to Noelle. You want her, fight for her, love her with everything you have and never regret it. Please, promise me that you will continue to pursue her. Baby or not. She accepts Jason and there aren’t many women out there that would. I admire her.”