Making and eating breakfast took a little longer than usual, and Dirk pulled up under the porte-cochère while Pavel was still up in his room, gathering his back pack and other school essentials. So Sam took the opportunity to have a little talk with Dirk while they waited.
“Hey, do you mind giving me a call later on today? I have some things to go over with you about Pavel’s transition.”
Dirk frowned. “Oh, is that still happening?”
She gave him a confused smile. “Yeah, why would you think it wasn’t?”
“Cuz I called Isaac like you told me to, and he made it sound like I didn’t have to worry about it.”
Alarm bells went off in Sam’s head. “So Isaac hasn’t found a replacement? He told me he was working on it.”
Dirk just shrugged. “I dunno. I guess call Isaac—hey Pav!” he called out when the little boy came out of the house and down the red brick steps with Back Up close at his heels. “What’s up, little man?”
Conversation over, Sam thought. But she’d for sure be calling Isaac as soon as she got into work that day. Meanwhile, she grabbed Back Up by the collar and took her up the stairs to the porch as the town car rolled away. She’d learned the hard way that Back Up would run after the limo if she wasn’t physically held back. Despite having only known each other for less than two months, she and Pavel shared a special connection.
Best friends, she thought with a pang of guilt for splitting them up.
“Bye, Mama!” Pavel called out the open window as the car rolled away.
She waved back, reminding herself that him calling her his mother was not healthy. For either of them. This was definitely the best thing to do. Definitely. Her heart just had to catch up with her mind in this case.
She started to go into the house with Back Up, but stopped when she saw a white BMW come through the open gates, passing by Dirk’s town car before it eventually came to a stop under the porte-cochère.
An older man in glasses and a black suit climbed out of the car and asked, “Is it okay to park here?”
Despite standing a few feet away, she could smell the overbearing stench of his cologne all the way from the porch.
Sam visibly recoiled. “Kevin, what are you doing here?” she asked.
Pavel had been wrong about her being nice to everyone but his uncle. She and Kevin Boatman had met a couple of times on the wrong side of his conference room table. He was one of Indianapolis’s top family court attorneys, and he had a reputation for fighting extremely dirty. She hadn’t been allowed to sit in on either of the actual proceedings for her intakes, but she’d dealt with the damage afterwards. And in both cases the women had decided to go back to their abusive husbands rather than risk the things Kevin had threatened them with behind closed doors. She didn’t need much more than that to truly hate the man.
But he wasn’t in his law offices now. He was here at Nikolai’s house. At the front door, so someone must have buzzed him through the gate. But that didn’t make any sense, because none of Nikolai’s household staff were going through custody proceedings as far as she knew, and even if they were, they wouldn’t be able to afford Kevin.
Which only left…
A chill of foreboding ran down her back, and she sensed someone now standing directly behind her. Someone who was usually long gone by now.
When she turned around, there was Nikolai, big as his nickname, his face stony and hard, like an iced over statue in the Kremlin’s front yard.
23
NIKOLAI watched Samantha closely as she sat down across from him in one of the study’s leather guest chairs. It was her second visit to his study, but this time there was no awe in her expression as she took her seat. No bright smile dimpling her face either.
In fact, her angry eyes stayed on the lawyer, as if Nikolai had brought a lethal snake into his study, even as she spoke to him. “Why are you doing this?” she asked Nikolai.
The sincere note of hurt in her voice irritated him. She acted as if she hadn’t been the one to start this, the one who’d decided to leave, taking his baby with her.
Kevin, who’d chosen to remain standing, stepped in smoothly to answer that question for him.
“As you know, Ms. McKinley, I handle all matters involving family law, which this falls under since you are pregnant with Mr. Rustanov’s child.”
Samantha shook her head at Kevin. “I’m only a few weeks pregnant, and he’s already calling in a shark like you?”
If Kevin was insulted by her words, it didn’t show on his face. “Mr. Rustanov has concerns about your future plans. You’ve insinuated that you plan to retain full custody of his child.”
Now Samantha looked from Kevin to Nikolai, like they were both crazy. “Yes, I’m going to retain full custody because I’m the baby’s mother and because he,” she shot an angry glance at Nikolai, “and I barely know each other.”
“Be that as it may, if your plan is to remove yourself from this residence, then you’ll need to establish a custody agreement with Mr. Rustanov before you do so.”
Sam darted another disbelieving look towards Nikolai, this one soaked with derision. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and said, “Fine. What does he want? Holidays, Birthdays, every other weekend? Would he like me to arrange for a nanny for this child, too, so the baby can spend all of Mr. Rustanov’s agreed upon custodial time with her?”
Nikolai flinched at her harsh assessment of his parenting skills, but her words bounced of Kevin as if the lawyer was made of Teflon.
“Actually, he’ll be taking full custody of the child, and you’ll be the one who needs to decide whether you’ll cooperate with us.”
Kevin brought up his leather briefcase and pulled out a sheaf of papers. “If you sign this custody agreement now, we’ll guarantee you weekends and holidays. If you force us to take this case to a judge after the child is born, then we won’t feel obligated to give you any access to the child at all.”
“What?” Samantha asked, her voice hot with anger. “Okay, I understand Nikolai’s good at hockey or whatever, but there’s no way in hell a judge is ever going to give him full custody of a child. This isn’t Pavel. I’m this baby’s biological mother!”
“Sure, sure,” Kevin said, folding his arms. “And you’ve done a lot of good work at your shelter.”
“Shelters,” she corrected. “I’ve opened two. My plan is to establish a Ruth’s House in every state before I die.”
“That’s very noble,” Kevin said with a patronizing nod. “Especially considering your background.”
Samantha froze and Nikolai could see her struggling to keep her face composed as she said, “You mean the fact that I’m from Detroit? I know it’s not the most upstanding city in the world, but that’s not enough of a reason to deny me custody of my child.”
“Yes, but unfortunately murder in the first degree, which you committed less than a year after moving to Indiana, is.”
Nikolai watched Samantha falter, wondering how she’d handle what was coming next. “How—” Samantha stopped and tried again. “Why do you think I murdered someone?”
Kevin leaned down over the chair she was sitting in to address her now, his voice quiet, as if he were letting her in on a little secret.
“You should know, Ms. McKinley, this area of law gets a little tricky. You see, you murdered your stepfather on your eighteenth birthday. The courts decided to try you as a juvenile so your file was sealed and technically it would be inadmissible in court. But here’s what I think you can understand about me, given my dealings with a few of your shelter clients. I’m a good lawyer. A very good lawyer. And if I didn’t think there was a way to get that file unsealed, given you were technically eighteen when it happened, I would not have taken Mr. Rustanov’s case. I’m not in the habit of losing, and I know I can convince a jury of your peers that not only are you a bad prospect for motherhood, but also a potential danger to your child.”
Kevin grinned at her like the predator he truly wa
s, and leaned even further down to say, “After I’m done you won’t even get weekend and birthday access to your child. You killed a man, Ms. McKinley. You don’t get to sit there and act like you would be a better parent to this child than my client.”
For a moment Samantha did nothing, she simply sat, still as a wood dove, as if Kevin’s words had frozen her. But then she reanimated.
“Fuck you,” she hissed, her eyes wide and angry. “Fuck you and your dirty lawyer tricks.”
Then she turned to Nikolai, her beautiful face thunderous with rage. “You are fucked up for doing this. And obviously the only thing you care about is getting your way.”
Nikolai forced his face to remain blank, despite the rage churning inside of him. “Nyet, you want everything go your way. Me never seeing my child, you getting to raise it with someone else.”
“Yes, I’d rather this child live with someone who loves it and is capable of even being a halfway decent parent!” she screamed back. “So sorry for having the baby’s best interest in mind instead of your ego!”
And then he could no longer contain himself. He leapt out of his own seat and roared, “You do not know me! You do not know of what I am capable! I will not let you keep my child from me!”
“I don’t know you because you don’t talk to me. Like ever! You communicate with me through your assistant and whenever I try to talk to you about anything remotely personal, you shut me out.” She shook her head at him, her eyes full of disgust. “And now you’ve invited this snake into what should have been an adult discussion between you and me. You and me, Nikolai.”
“I invited him because you forced my hand.”
Her eyes continued to burn hot with rage as she answered, “I didn’t force your hand. I made a reasonable decision to move out because I’m an adult who cares deeply about your nephew and I don’t want to hurt him or confuse him. And I feel that way because I’m a good person—maybe not on paper,” She jerked her head toward Kevin, “And maybe not according to this scumbag lawyer you’ve hired, but I know my worth. I’m a good person, and I’ll be an amazing mother because I’ll always put this child first, not my own selfish pride—”
She stopped in the middle of her passionate speech, suddenly looking stricken. Her hand came up to her mouth and she glanced around frantically, before running past Kevin and Nik and into the study’s private bathroom.
Soon after, there came the sound of retching and regurgitated food hitting toilet bowl water.
A stunned Kevin looked over at Nikolai. “Well, I’ve gotten a lot of reactions to my proposed custody suits, but that’s a first.”
Nikolai didn’t respond. Just stared at the door Samantha had slammed closed, her angry accusations still ringing in his ears.
“Should we reschedule for tomorrow?” Kevin asked. “I mean we still haven’t gotten the paperwork signed—”
“You go now.” Nikolai told him. “I will take care of rest.”
“Are you sure?” Kevin asked with a confused frown. Nikolai recognized in him a kindred spirit. Someone who was used to seeing dirty work through to the end.
But in this case, his services were no longer needed. A new plan formed in Nikolai’s head. One he didn’t bother to explain to the lawyer as he headed out of the room to put together his weapons arsenal.
24
MORNING sickness was a bitch and a half, Sam thought, as she flushed down the two deposits she’d just made, the lovely breakfast from this morning, along with her dinner from the night before. She fell back from the golden toilet—which she chose to believe was only painted that color, not made of the real stuff. A solid gold toilet seemed a bit much, even for Nikolai.
She eased herself into a seated position on the floor, resting the back of her head on the red and white marble wall. At least this office bathroom was cool. Unlike his office, which had been filled with Nikolai and his lawyer and the disgusting smell of overbearing cologne. Even righteous indignation couldn’t keep her stomach at a standstill long enough for her to make her point. Nikolai was lucky she had made it to the office’s golden toilet and hadn’t thrown up all over his lawyer’s nice wingtips. Tempting as that had been.
God, what was she going to do?
She had no idea, but at least she could take solace in the fact that she most likely wouldn’t be throwing up again. Sam had given Nikolai’s ludicrous toilet every single thing she’d put into her stomach over the last twelve hours. She just wished her stomach would understand that and stop churning already.
She closed her eyes, slowing her breaths down and willing the nauseous feeling to pass. Outside the bathroom, she could hear voices talking low, departing footsteps. Then it went quiet until a few minutes later when someone opened the door and turned on a faucet. Anna, she assumed, feeling too weak to check.
But she was pretty sure Nikolai must have called in his housekeeper to deal with her when a cold cloth was pressed against her head.
“Thank you,” she said, breathing into the wet coolness.
But it was not Anna who said, “I will put towel on back of your neck now. It will help you.”
Her eyes flew open, and yes, there was Nikolai, bent down in front of her, his long fingers keeping the cloth in place on her head.
“Lean your head forward,” he instructed. But the command turned out to be just a formality, because his hand came around the back of her head, pulling it forward with brisk efficiency until her chin was touching her chest. Then he placed the cloth on the back of her neck.
Immediately the nausea began to abate, releasing it’s fevered grip on her as the heaving sensation in her stomach faded away.
“Thank you,” she whispered, unable to believe his simple solution was actually working.
“Take more deep breaths now,” he answered.
She did as he said and caught his scent on the inhale. It was a good one. Plain, no-frills soap and something else… ice. That was it. He smelled just like the stuff he skated on… frosty. Unlike his lawyer, who’d smelled like he’d poured a whole bottle of Drakkar Noir on before coming over to intimidate her into signing a bullshit custody agreement.
As if reading her mind, Nikolai said, “Kevin is gone. I sent him away. This discussion will be as you said. Between you and me from now on.”
“Oh, was that a discussion?” she asked, fighting her weak stomach to achieve a withering tone. “Because it felt like you and your lawyer were trying to explain to me why I’m not fit to be anything but an incubator for this baby.”
She wanted to remain cold and removed like him, but she couldn’t help it. Her eyes clashed with his, indignant and hurt.
He returned her angry look with a cool one of his own as he removed the cloth from behind her neck.
“Kevin’s statements weren’t personal,” he said, rewetting the cloth at the bathroom’s golden bowl sink.
“Really? Because they felt awfully damn personal,” Sam answered, her voice thin and weak.
Nikolai made a scoffing sound. “You are not business person or hockey player. You do not know difference between game and personal.”
He came back over to her and once again arranged the cloth behind her neck, and dammit, the fresh rush of cold felt so glorious, a wave of sincere gratitude went through her. An emotion completely incongruous with her hot anger.
“Kevin is, how you say—proof of concept. I needed you to know I could have full custody of baby, and you could not stop me.”
And that statement solved her pesky gratitude problem. “Congratulations,” she said. “You made your point.”
If he was interested in gloating, it wasn’t evident in the neutral set of his face. “But it does not have to go this way, there is another way it could go.
She kept her mouth closed and waited, wanting to hear what he would say next more than she wanted to shoot off another angry retort.
“You can marry me,” he said.
And Sam blinked, because surely she had just heard him wrong. “Excuse me?�
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“If you marry me, we will not need custody agreement. I will not need pay Kevin to destroy your reputation. I will not need—”
She held up her hand to stop his tide of potential dire predictions. “Wait, can we go back to the part where you want to marry me, because… why exactly?”
He averted his eyes. “I do not want my child to be in home where its parents aren’t married. I grew up this way. My child will not.”
Sam chewed over this one tiny nugget of information he had given her about his past, before saying, “You know, there are ways to raise a child successfully in two separate homes. In fact, sometimes it’s better that way for everybody involved.”
She thought of her own upbringing in a home that technically had two parents and shivered. Growing up, she would have given anything to have her mother leave her stepfather and raise her daughter by herself.
“We don’t have to get married to craft some kind of agreement we can both be happy with,” she told Nikolai.
But Nikolai shook his head. “Our child must have both parents. You should marry me, so we don’t fight over baby in court. It would be, how you say, marriage of convenience. Best thing for all of us. What I want. What Pavel want. He will not care about new baby, because he will have you as his mother. My lawyer tells me I must still do legal adoption of my nephew. If you marry me, we can adopt him. Together.”
Together. Her heart soared at the thought of becoming Pavel’s mother, legally and with rights accorded. However, it didn’t escape her that Nikolai seemed to be having trouble meeting her eyes as he offered to make her dreams of being a real mother to Pavel come true.
Sam found herself once again wondering about his childhood in Russia. What had happened that had turned him into the man bent down in front of her, the muscles in his neck straining as he offered her Pavel in exchange for marriage?
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