He’s pumping into me hard, the sounds escaping him only tell me there’s nothing I can do to stop this from happening. He’s determined to prove a point, though nothing about this solves anything. Still, I accept his form of resolution at least for a temporary lapse of judgment. He’s drilling into me now, and it’s apparent he’s not interested in romance. This is unadulterated fucking at it’s best. It’s rough, almost painful, and unfortunately I love it. Every part of me comes undone as the intense friction of him pumping in and out causes me to give in. His motivation doesn’t hinder. I’m ruined and I know it.
“You like this don’t you? Say it, Shay,” he manages to get out while still kissing me.
The moment he speaks I feel my walls tightening. I’m trying to avoid this; to keep him from knowing he’s able to break me apart, but I can’t. I’m crumbling and he’s fully aware of it. This fuels him to thrust harder. My legs tighten, while waves of euphoria hit me like a ton of bricks falling from the sky. Then it happens. He’s coming with me, simultaneously, as if we were meant to be in sync.
This is beautiful, yet terrible at the same time.
I don’t know whether to cry, get up and run, or hold him tight and beg him to never let go.
This is the only thing we seem to do right. I can’t deny it, though I’m far from being able to accept it’s a suitable way to fix what we’ve broken between us.
The man hovering over me, kissing me gently as he finally starts moving again, he’s my everything, but also the person I hate the most. He’s powerful, and evil. He’s the villain who sets out to destroy me by attacking what I hold dear. He’s vicious and adept, while I’m broken and vulnerable.
He finally pulls out, the remnants of what we’ve just done are dripping down my leg. He offers me his T-shirt and snarls as he takes another look at what he’s accomplished. I roll my eyes and clean up the best I can, while seeing him extend his hand for me to take. “You know you want to.”
He’s right. Like a child I let him lead me into our bedroom. He only lets go when I’m on the mattress. I watch him walk to his side of the bed before joining me. I’m naked, shaking, and hopeless, while he remains relentless. He’s taken control the only way he knows how, and now that he has me where he wants me, he’s giving me what I’ve always desired.
He pulls me close and kisses my lips gently. His hand extends and turns off the lamp on his bedside table. We’re making out again, and I can’t stop it from happening. His hot body is pressing against mine, reminding me of what we’ve just done together. I can feel my eyes watering up and do my best not to fall apart. I shouldn’t be here doing this. It’s ruining everything.
We fall asleep together, me wrapped tightly in his arms. When I wake it’s in the middle of the night. Everything is quiet. We’ve adjusted a bit, so I free myself and slide from the bed. I expect him to wake, but he snores and seems out of it.
I find my clothes where we left them and quickly put them back on. When I leave I lock the door behind me and don’t look back. I have to pretend this didn’t happen. I can’t wake up next to him in the morning and not want to stay. This is my only way to escape.
Chapter 15
It’s almost like a dream, except I know it’s happened. I should have been more careful to ensure she’d stay, but I was too hopeful. One quick glance out the window tells me she’s gone.
Aberdeen comes bursting into the room and I quickly remember I’m not wearing any clothes. I pull the covers up further while speaking. “Hey, kiddo. Go get dressed for school. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”
She does as I request, though I still wait for her to leave the room before locating my phone and checking for messages. There’s none.
Like a one-night stand, she’s left me with only the memory of what transpired between us. I’m pissed about it, but refuse to make a big deal out of it this early in the morning. Besides, she’s probably still sleeping off the remnants of what I forced her to do.
My wife is predictable to a fault. I can expect her to react a certain way when she’s agitated or threatened. Even though I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, I had a feeling if I kept pushing her buttons she’d show up last night. I smile recalling what took place only hours before.
As I stand in the hot shower I’m left with ill feelings again. The excitement has worn off and now I’m wondering what comes next. It’s obvious she’s determined to see this plan of hers through, so she’s leaving me with no options other than to fight fire with fire. I’m going to make it impossible for her to stay away, even if I have to conjure up lies and become an evil bastard to make it happen. I like fighting with her, because it’s the only time she sleeps with me. Maybe this separation is a good idea. My dick thinks so.
My first matter of business is to pretend she means nothing to me. It’s the only way I can get her attention. I’m not going to come out and say it, because she’ll know it’s not the truth. My best bet is to do it with actions. If she wants to tell people I’m a self-righteous asshole, I’ll be one.
I make plans with Toby for dinner. He’ll do whatever I ask of him, especially if it’s to teach my wife a lesson. I know the fastest way to grab Shayla’s attention will be through my friends.
I don’t call her, and I’m also not surprised she doesn’t try to get in touch with me throughout the day. Like I’ve already planned, I pick Aberdeen up from my mother after work so I don’t have to see Shayla. I haven’t considered how our separation is affecting my parents, my mom especially. She’s in tears when I show up, while Ab is out back with my dad. My mom pats the spot next to her on the couch. I hand her a new tissue out of the box she keeps on the end table. “What’s the matter?”
“You know. I’m upset about you and Shayla. I love her like a daughter. She left here in tears. I don’t want to be a part of this, Brandon. You need to work this out for Ab’s benefit.”
“I know. I’ll figure it out. I have a plan, but it’s going to take some time. Shayla’s stubborn. She’s not going to come home without believing she’s achieved what she’s set out to do.”
“She says none of us can see how you really are. What does she mean, Brandon?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. She’s ridiculous. She wants me to spend every waking second stuck up her ass. That’s all it is.”
“I’m worried. I don’t want you to get divorced. You’re both so young.”
“Mom, I won’t let that happen. We’re separated. It’s not the end of our marriage, I can assure you. Did Shayla mention anything to you about last night?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No.”
“It figures. Of course she’d want you to think she’s perfect.” I laugh to myself. “What would you say if I told you I had her in bed last night?”
She seems shocked. “What? I’d say you were full of it.”
“Well it’s true. She came by all mad and we ended up naked.” I pronounce it like nekked to be funny.
My mom is more interested in the act though. “She never said a word.”
“Because Shayla thinks if she doesn’t talk about it, it never happened. Like I said earlier, I’ve got it under control. This is just a bump in the road for us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” I wave it off with my hand. “She’ll come around in a week or so.”
When my mom seems to calm down, I head outside to find my dad and Aberdeen. My dad shakes my hand. He always stays out of the drama, so I’m not surprised when he doesn’t mention Shayla at all.
Toby’s apartment is twenty minutes away. While driving there, Aberdeen talks about her mother. “Mom says I can spend the night this weekend at Grandmas. She says we can go to the movies.”
“She did?” I’m not surprised Shayla would go against my rules. She’s doing it to get to me.
“Yep. She said she’s going to pick me up from school and we’ll have the whole weekend.”
“Is that right?” I’m getting more annoyed by the minute. Shayla i
s testing my last nerve. First she forgets to mention we were together last night, and now I learn she’s making plans with our daughter for the whole weekend.
“I wish you could come with us,” she sadly adds.
“Well, maybe I’ll make a surprise visit.”
I hear her giggle. “Mom might get mad.”
“Ab, at this point, when is your mom not mad at me?”
She shrugs in the backseat. “I don’t know.”
“We’ll figure it out, kiddo. Don’t you worry about anything. Daddy has a plan.”
“Is it a secret?”
“For now.”
We pull into the parking lot where Toby lives and I see him getting out of his BMW. He’s a paralegal while he finishes school in order to take the BAR exam. He already dresses the part to impress the group of attorneys he works with in hopes of one day being able to be a partner at the firm. He’s got a good plan, and since both of his parents are in the legal field I know he’ll succeed. He’s come a long way from the worst player on our little league team.
Toby greets us as we exit our vehicle. Aberdeen runs up and gives him a hug. “Hi, Uncle Toby.”
“Hey there, squirt. Cara’s been wondering when you would visit again. She needs help making dinner. Do you think you’re up for it?” She runs inside without answering, disappearing up the stairs before we can race behind her.
Once inside the second floor pad, I find my daughter on a stool looking into the kitchen. Cara is busy stirring something in a pot while chatting away with my daughter. She offers a smile without distracting from their important conversation.
Toby doesn’t waste time asking the obvious. “So, how did you manage to come out tonight without the wife?”
He doesn’t know what’s going on. Up to this point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it with anyone, even my best friend. “Yeah, about that. We’re taking some time apart.”
“Since when?” He questions.
“A couple days ago. Shayla went to stay with her parents.”
“So, she left you?” He seems intrigued.
I shrug. “I guess. It’s all some ridiculous attempt to fix what she thinks is broken. I don’t know. I’m just going along with it for now.”
“Do you want to work things out? I know she makes you miserable sometimes.”
“Yeah, I mean, she’s the mother of my child. I love her. She’s crazy on occasion, but she’s not terrible.”
I’m trying to convince him I’m happy and the more I speak the worse it sounds.
“Have you considered it’s for the best? She’s never been what you want, not since high school, man. I hate to say it, but it’s true. She’s always on your back about something. She accuses you of cheating and me being the worst example, even though I haven’t done shit to hurt your marriage. I don’t know what happened to her, but she’s different. You’re never happy, dude.”
This guy has been my most trusted friend, but as he sits here and pulls apart the failures in my marriage I’m forced to see what I’ve been ignoring for far too long. “Yeah, it’s not as bad as you’re making it.”
“All I’m saying is that maybe this time apart is a good thing. You’ll be able to reevaluate what’s important. Some people get along better when they live apart.”
I’m not that optimistic the distance between Shayla and I can help us. Our problems are more involved than being in time out.
“Speaking of which, I guess I might be in need of a lawyer in the future if things get ugly.”
“I’ve got your back, man. No worries on that front. I’ll hook you up with the best for half the cost.”
I snicker. “Gee, thanks, I think.”
“I’m kidding. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”
Imagining fighting for custody of Aberdeen causes me to cringe. I can’t even begin to fathom how my wife would handle such a thing. Hurting her isn’t my goal. Sure, I want to teach her a lesson, but not damage us more.
“I’m sure it won’t.”
I follow him into the kitchen and immediately change the subject. “So, have you set a date?”
“We’re thinking about this spring.” Cara says while handing Aberdeen a spatula of cake batter to eat. “We’ve been talking and we want to get married sooner than later. Since I’m set on one place in particular, I need to make a decision.”
Toby pops a piece of cooked chicken in his mouth. “I just do what she says.”
“Yeah, it’s the only way to keep the peace with women.”
Cara adds her two cents. “Seems like you haven’t been taking your own advice, Bran. Did I hear you right about Shayla?”
I smirk, but make sure Ab isn’t upset regarding the topic before responding. “It’s temporary.”
“I hope it works out.” Her words leave me with worry. If these two people have doubts, why haven’t I considered them too? It is that obvious my marriage sucks? Have I been blind to what Shayla’s been saying for years?
After dinner the three of us sit in the living room. Ab remains in the dining room coloring while Cara’s tablet plays an episode of her favorite show.
I’m not worried about hearing from Shayla, so I don’t bother checking for messages. Right before it’s time to take my daughter home and get her ready for bed I come up with an idea. I direct my question to Toby. “Hey, do you think you could swing by Target one day this week and accidentally bump into Shayla?”
“Yeah, but what for?”
“I think it’s time to scare the shit out of her.”
“Hasn’t it only been a couple days?” Cara asks.
“Yeah, but she needs to know I’m not going to sit around and wait for her to make her mind up.”
“Do you have someplace else to be?” Toby says with an amused cackle. He knows me too well. “Is it that busty chick at your work? Has she finally gotten into your head.”
I shake my head. “Fuck off, man. I told you I’m not interested in that hussy.”
“I’m kidding. She’s scary.”
“Toby, be nice.” Cara seems annoyed he’d bring up another woman when I’m asking for help with my wife. I’m not offended though. In the past, when I was considering being unfaithful, he was the rock that kept me on the straight and narrow. I’d never tell Shayla he helped me, because she’d use it against me. It’s best that she thinks he’s partial to me being happy doing whatever I find amusing at the time.
“Just nonchalantly mention you’ve seen me since the separation. Tell her it’s about time, and that you think it’s for the best. Tell her I seem happy.”
“Wait,” Cara interrupts. “Are we trying to end your marriage or help you fix it?”
“Fix it. Shayla needs to think I’m not going to wait around. Don’t go and tell her I’m screwing other people, just imply I’m not moping around the house waiting for her to return.”
“I think you’re crazy.” She’s not seeing the big picture, though I haven’t brought Shayla around enough for her to know how she is.
“I’ll stop by and fill her head with enough to warrant a call to you.”
I snarl at his comment. God only knows what he’ll say to her. “Thanks.”
“If this backfires, it’s not on me though, dude.”
“It won’t. Trust me.” I’m asking him to do something to annoy my wife in hopes she’ll come home instead of staying away indefinitely.
Later that night, when I’ve gone home and tucked Aberdeen into bed, I sit on my bed looking around the room. Shayla’s things are still everywhere in the house. That’s when I get another idea that will surely cause a reaction. When I’m done with this I’ll know where she stands, and be able to figure out what to do next, if anything at all.
Chapter 16
I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.
I’ve been working out with my father for three days now. It’s already Friday and I’ve managed to go over twenty-four hours without talking to Brandon. I miss him like crazy, but the longer I go, the e
asier it’s becoming to refrain from reaching out. In the back of my mind I’m wondering if he’s doing the same or if this is his way of showing me he doesn’t care if I ever return. I know he’s mad I haven’t spoken to him since our encounter the other night. Nothing good will come if I bring it up, so I pretend it never happened.
As far as my progress goes, I feel like I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished thus far. My doctor says I’m taking the right steps in order to rediscover the person I know I can be. When I got on the scale this morning I’m down seven pounds. It’s not just falling off because I’m exercising. It’s mostly from stress and forgetting to eat. I’m too emotional to care about consuming food. Still, I’m excited and hopeful the weight will continue to fall off while I desperately find a new lifestyle I can manage on a day to day basis.
After my talk with Aberdeen, I’m determined to get her for the whole weekend, but it’s going to require me to sneak into my house while Brandon’s at work to gather enough clothes for the days she won’t be coming home. He’s been keeping me from spending a lot of time with her and I’m about to end that.
He’s going to flip out when he discovers my plan, though I know I’m not going to tell him until she’s with me. I’ve made arrangements to stay at my new friend Char’s house while she travels across the Bay Bridge to spend the weekend with her family. Since Brandon doesn’t know her, he won’t be able to track us down and harass me until I bring her home. I want this weekend to be special, without distractions, so I’m taking extremes to ensure it happens.
Stopping by the house seems like I’m committing a crime. Since I know what time he goes into work, I head there before my shift at Target begins. I pull into the empty driveway and make my way inside the home. There are still dishes in the sink, but they appear to be different than the other night. The kitchen table has school work on it, and as I make my way in each room I find things out of order.
I start in my bedroom, making the bed and putting away the clean clothes still in baskets at the foot of it. I wipe down the countertops in the bathroom and scour the toilet and shower. I vacuum all the floors and fold the throw blankets in the living room. When I start doing the dishes I see someone pulling in behind my car. It’s my mother-in-law Susan. She’s getting out of her car with a grocery bag in her arms. Of course she would assume her son couldn’t manage on his own. In her back pocket is a pair of rubber gloves. I want to laugh, but I’m too annoyed.
Because (Seven Year Itch #4) Page 10