“But you hated me?”
“Sometimes. You hated me too.”
“I did. I still do,” I manage with a giggle.
“Yeah, but as much as you hate me, you love me more.” He pulls away, leaving me to stew in his last words. He’s right. If nothing else, he knows me better than I know myself.
I spend the rest of the evening pondering on life; where I want to be and if I see Brandon as a part of it. One thing is for certain, I can’t stop loving him. Imagining divorce only breaks my heart. I look into my daughter’s eyes and see some things are worth fighting for, but I also know there are still things I have yet to figure out. A part of me wants to trust him. I owe him a second chance, but not if it risks all the hard work I’ve done to find myself again. He has to love me for me, instead of the person I’ve turned into. Time is on my side. I have plenty of it. I don’t have to make a decision today or the day after. If a second chance will ever come for us, I’ll be sure about it.
First things first.
Aberdeen and I wake up early to go to the hair salon. While she gets her hair curled and fingernails painted, I’m making another drastic change. When we leave, hours later, I’m nervous and insecure again. I’m not sure I’ve made the right decision. Instead of spending my whole paycheck on a dress, my friend Char has agreed to lend me something special. We drive to her house so I can check it out and see if it fits me. I’m still working on losing the last ten pounds I need to reach my goal, but I’m down several sizes already.
Char laughs when she sees what I’ve done to my hair. “It suits you.”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Are you ready to see the dresses I picked out?”
Char and I have different taste in EVERYTHING. I’m nervous to see what she thinks I can pull off, but I follow her anyway, determined to put my fears aside.
It’s an afternoon wedding, so black is probably out. I keep that in mind when I round the corner to her bedroom and see a whole lot of red.
She walks over to the bed and tosses me the first dress. I can tell it’s long and going to be tight. It’s strapless and as I examine it I notice the hemline comes up to my upper thigh on one side. “Seriously?”
“Yes. Hurry up. I have five more in case that one doesn’t work out.”
“It’s beautiful, but I don’t know if it’s right for my figure.”
“Do you have any idea how much weight you’ve lost already? Plus your boobs are huge. You’ll rock that shit. Trust me. It’s my favorite choice.”
Five minutes later I’m standing in front of the mirror looking at a reflection I most certainly don’t recognize. “Wow,” I mumble.
“Wow is right. It’s even better than I hoped. Brandon is going to go crazy when he sees you in it.”
“It’s not a date,” I remind her.
She slaps my ass. “Keep telling yourself that, Shay. The only thing Brandon will be thinking is how he’s going to take it off.”
“You’re terrible.” Aberdeen comes in the room. Her eyes light up when she sees me in the dress.
“Mom, you look pretty.”
“Do you think so? Should I try on something else?”
“No,” they both say at the same time.
I haven’t been this dressed up since my own wedding and I’m a bit uncomfortable. The dress is form fitting until the very bottom where it flairs out. It’s low cut around the bust. Char places a necklace on me and stands back to admire it. “Yeah, that’s better.” She hands me a pair of earrings. “Here, put these on.”
I do as I’m told and look in the mirror again. “This is too much.”
“It’s perfect. You look amazing. Now, sit down in my magic chair and let me do your makeup.”
“What? No. I can manage it myself.”
“I insist. Come on, be pampered for once. You deserve this. You’ve worked your ass off to look this way. Brandon doesn’t know what he has if he doesn’t think so when he sees you.”
“I appreciate the pep talk, but I could fall flat on my face if I have to wear heels.”
“Duh. Of course you do. You’ll be fine. Stop trying to talk yourself out of it.”
“I’m dressed like I’m going to the prom.”
She rolls her eyes. “Who was your prom date?”
“Brandon.” We both laugh together.
It’s nearly a half hour before I get to look at what she’s done to my face. I’m in shock. I don’t know what to say. “What happened to me?”
“Shayla, nothing happened to you. This is what I’ve been trying to tell you. You’re beautiful.”
My makeup is natural. It’s not too heavy. It’s perfect.
I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and I wave my hands around in hopes that the feeling will go away. “I’m sorry. For so long I hated looking in the mirror. I never thought I was attractive, not by Brandon’s standards.”
“How do you feel now?”
“I feel…I feel like a princess.”
“Okay then, Princess Shayla, let’s get this show on the road.”
Chapter 25
I’ve been waiting for her to arrive for twenty minutes. She’s assured me she would show up, even when I told her I had to come early. I’m worried she’ll change her mind and leave me high and dry. I’d hate for Aberdeen to miss it because her mother is undecided on whether we can be friends.
This night is way more important than my best friend getting hitched. This could be the night that changes everything. I just need to see her walk inside the doors I can’t take my eyes away from.
Time is running out. I’m supposed to report to the chapel to usher the guests in. Then I hear the old church door creaking open. My heart races as I stick my sweaty hands in my pockets to hide my fidgeting. It’s like my first date all over again. Just like that time so long ago I’m going to have to impress her. This time she’s going to fight the urge to let me.
Words can’t describe the way it makes me feel too see her in this dress. I’ve never noticed it before. Perhaps she purchased it from Target and received an employee discount. Maybe she went out and splurged. No matter how much money she spent it was all worth it. This isn’t the same woman I fell in love with when I was still considered a kid. She’s different. She’s stronger. Somehow she’s learned how to be her own person, and maybe it’s because of the struggles I forced her to go through; the trying times I once denied existed.
She’s rendered me speechless. I’m afraid to comment, because it will never be good enough. This exquisite woman that stands before me not only holds my heart, but now a part of my soul. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way. For years she begged me for this reaction. I’ve made many mistakes, but none are greater than looking back and knowing I never made her feel like she was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.
There’s a difference between love and infatuation. Even lust has it’s way of ripping holes in an innocent heart. There used to be only one kind of love I was able to give. Now it’s painstaking and settled. It’s determined and powerful. It’s eternal. From the deepest parts of me I can feel it radiating as she steps closer.
Ab runs up and I whisk her into my arms kissing her on the cheek. “Look at you. You’re so pretty.”
“Did you see Mom?”
I sit her down and stare at my wife.
“Well,” she starts. “How do I look?”
“Breathtaking.” I take her hand and lift it to my lips. “I’m in awe of you, Shayla Vincent.”
She’s blushing and turns her head to the side. “It’s not too much?”
I’m shaking my head, unable to speak.
“Seriously, Bran. I wasn’t sure about the dress.”
“If it makes you feel better you can take it off and ask my opinion again.”
She slaps me casually on the chest. “Keep dreaming, Mr. Vincent.”
“Speaking of which. How am I to introduce you tonight? I mean, we share the same name. Someone is going to ask, espec
ially with you looking the way you do.”
“Technically we’re still married.” She shrugs. “Say whatever you want.”
I offer my arm on either side to both of my girls. “Please allow me to escort the two of you to your seats.”
I’m proud as we make our way inside the chapel. I feel like all eyes are on us, even though I know this isn’t our moment. I see my parents noticing the girls have arrived. They stand up to make room for them. Aberdeen runs in between the pews and hugs my mom, while Shayla stops and turns her attention to me. “Thanks for walking with me. I was afraid I’d trip in these heels.”
I lean my head in to speak quiet enough only she can hear. “I know someone who gives good foot rubs.”
She pulls away with a smile. “Behave.”
I wink. “Never.”
Weddings for men are different from women. While females get emotional, us men hold in our feelings and look forward to the reception. Until this very moment I never saw this as anymore than a show for loved ones and friends.
When the pastor begins to address the vows something inside of me happens. I’m overwhelmed with feelings. My mind travels back to my own wedding and the promises I made to Shayla. I didn’t keep most of them. I took her for granted and ignored her when I should have been there. I was selfish and distant. I wouldn’t allow her to be my friend, because I felt as if she was trying to take everything from me.
I finally realize how important these vows are. I understand the words and the promises. They mean something to me. I turn my attention to Shayla and Aberdeen. They’re both looking in my direction.
Shayla’s eyes tell me the vows are tearing at her heartstrings. We stare at each other as Toby and Cara recite the words. When it comes to the end I mouth the words ‘I love you’ to her. She doesn’t turn away, but she also doesn’t offer me the same gesture in return. She’s taking it in and digesting what it means; perhaps if it’s real.
I’m eager for the service to finish so I can spend time with Shay. I know I have responsibilities at the reception, but they won’t last the whole time.
The happy couple seals their commitment with a kiss and finally it’s time for me to be able to get close to her again. I feel like a teenager eager for that first kiss. I walk with my designated person to the back of the church and stand to wait for my girls to join me. That’s what they are. My girls.
People take their time congratulating the couple before leaving the church to head to the reception. I know we’ll have to stay for pictures, but since Shayla is going to be my ride she has to stay too.
When I see her walking out with my parents I rush to help her down the stairs in her heels. She seems pleased, as if she feared she was going to plummet to the ground in front of the entire congregation of people. “I’ve got you.”
“Do I look that terrified?”
“No. I guess I recognize that face on you.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Have I told you how gorgeous you look? I can’t get enough of you.” I reach up and run my hand over a strand of her hair. She’s dyed it back to brown; back to the way she wore it before. “What made you change the color?”
She sort of pulls away, but not totally. “Why? You hate it don’t you?”
“Not at all. It’s you. I prefer it this color.”
“I thought you prefer blondes.”
“Obviously you don’t know everything about me, babe.”
After the photos are taken, we hop in the car and arrive at the reception. I leave Shayla and Aberdeen with my parents and take my seat at the head table. While the announcements are taking place my gaze is fixed on hers. She tries to play it off like she isn’t staring back at me, but I know her all too well to take it as anything but the truth. Shayla is honest to a fault. She’s innocent, and it’s another reason I want to keep her all to myself.
I’ve made a ton of mistakes. She’s right to say I’ve been a monster to her. There are instances where I can recall being drunk and calling her names that never should come out of my mouth. She’s put up with my attitude, and never being my first priority. I know what’s at risk if I continue to be selfish.
Finally the announcements are over and it’s time for the first dance. I know I’ll have to dance with the person I’m paired up with, and while I put my arms around the girl to join in, I keep my focus on my wife.
Jealousy has always been Shayla’s downfall. She can’t handle me being near another female. I can tell this makes her uncomfortable, but it gives me the knowledge of knowing she still feels strong enough about me that she doesn’t want another female within twenty feet. Halfway through the song I release the female and thank her for participating, like she was on some game show where she’ll win a fantastic prize. There’s humor in that statement, I can assure you.
When I arrive at the table where my family remains I hold out my hands for both of my girls. “Would you care to dance with the most handsome fella in this place?”
Aberdeen rushes to my side. “Come on, Mom.”
I can tell she’s not interested in perusing around any kind of dance floor. She’s always had two left feet. “Take off your shoes and come with me. Your life depends on it,” I tease.
She rolls her eyes as she arises and takes my hand. I lead the way to the dance floor just as another slow song mends with the first. It’s hard to manage, but I lift Ab into my arms while pulling Shayla close, silently vowing to never let go. Aberdeen only stays for a few seconds. As soon as she sees other kids her age conversing in the back of the room she finds it necessary to join them. Now it’s just the two of us. I pull her closer, forsaking any boundaries she doesn’t want me to cross. I lean in so I can whisper in her ear. “That dress is making me crazy.” She giggles as I proceed. “You should let me help you take it off later.”
I back away so I’m able to catch her expression. She’s not deterred from my open statement. I want confirmation. “Let me spend the night. Take me home with you.”
“What will it change if I say yes?”
“Everything.” I bring my face forward and kiss her softly on the lips. I don’t care who could be watching us. My focus isn’t on the nuptials of my friends. It’s only purpose is to hold my wife close and reassure her I can be the man she needs.
When she doesn’t pull away I know there’s a chance this could go somewhere. I keep my arms folded behind her back and slip them down to her ass. I don’t squeeze or do anything distasteful. I just want her to know what my intentions will be for later. “You’re misbehaving.”
“Stop pretending you don’t want it.”
“This isn’t how friends are supposed to be.”
I chuckle and drag the back of my hand over her soft cheek. “Don’t you get it, Shay? I don’t want to be your friend. I need to be your everything.”
“I can’t promise it will change anything.”
“I don’t care. Give me one night. Please.”
She nods while staring into my eyes. “Okay. I must be crazy, but okay.”
I’m anxious to leave, but I know we have to stay. I still have a speech to give and a celebration I’m suppose to be a huge part of. “This is going to be the longest couple of hours I’ve ever had to wait.”
She laughs. “It’s plenty of time for me to change my mind.”
I slap her butt as we part. “Don’t even think about it.”
The speech. I’ve been working on it for weeks but nothing seemed right at the time. Being close to Shayla has given me what I need to pull it off. It’s not just going to be directed to the newlyweds. I’m about to pour my heart out to my wife in front of a room full of people.
When all is quiet I begin. “We’re all here for the same reason; to celebrate the coming together of two people very much in love. I’ve known Toby since we were in grade school. He’s been my best friend through thick and thin, probably way more thick than thin, but who’s counting?” I wait as people find humor in my statement.
“I
knew Cara was the one for him. I could see it in the way he looked at her. It didn’t matter what his plans were, or where he saw his future heading. He knew she had to be a part of it.”
“It’s always about love. Two people love each other and the rest falls into place. That’s not entirely true though. Marriage isn’t just about love. It takes something more powerful to keep it going. Friendship. Trust. Understanding. Companionship. Faith. You see, all those things are required for it to work effortlessly. Cara, as Toby’s best friend I want to give you something worth more than any amount of money. I’m giving you my best friend. He should have done this a long time ago and saved me a whole lot of heartache,” I pause for laughter. “Anywhoo, I just want you to know it’s hard work, but the end result is well worth the struggles you will endure. Here’s to a lifetime of happiness between two people I love like family.”
While everyone celebrates I take my seat and peer into Shayla’s soul. I want her to feel what I’m feeling. I need her to know I won’t go back to being the guy she pushed away.
Chapter 26
Weddings do something to people. My emotional state has led me to want something I know I shouldn’t have. He’s forbidden fruit; something I’ve promised I’d stay away from, but I can’t help myself. I have to have a taste.
I know he’s bribed his parents to take Aberdeen home with them, though I refuse to complain about it. As the night progresses so does my inability to resist his advances. Slight touches and tender-filled whispers have made me vulnerable to his charm. My sexy husband spent the entire reception making me feel like I was the only woman in the room. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time, because I know exactly where this will lead us.
As Brandon drives my car back to our house I’m aware of what will happen and I’m content with my decision. His hand is on my exposed thigh now after making out for nearly ten minutes. As soon as we climbed in the vehicle we were like teenagers. Though I’ve calmed down, I’m starved for more. While he focuses on the road I slip his hand between my legs and lean back in my seat. He grumbles something as his fingers slide my panties over. I already know what he’s going to find and it turns me on more knowing how much it will excite him.
Because (Seven Year Itch #4) Page 16