‘Get in with me.’ He rolled me on my back and gazed deeply at me. I couldn’t look away.
‘Don’t be silly, it’s afternoon still,’ I heard myself squeak. Wriggling from under him and managing to sit beside him, I pulled my dress over my thighs.
Scott threw his head back laughing out loud and I could feel myself blushing.
‘You crack me up babe, you seriously do.’
‘I don’t mean to.’
I know I sounded lame, what must he really think? I bet Stella jumped into bed whatever the time of day. Those girls in the kitchen obviously did.
‘Don’t look so stricken.’ He kissed my nose, ‘I can see you’re embarrassed, that’s why I love you so much.’ He squeezed my arm. ‘You’re so innocent and that’s so sexy, you really turn me on.’
‘I can’t help it.’
I looked at my lap, feeling really stupid. Innocent, for goodness sake! I don’t want to be innocent! I want to be sexy and sophisticated and a woman of the world – not a stupid little kid.
‘If you’re not getting in then I best get up and get dressed.
We can make up for lost time later.’
He grinned at me, threw the covers off and swung his legs out of bed, revealing his complete nakedness. I stared open mouthed at him, not knowing where to look, but he just smiled at me, hands on his hips daring me to look away.
Even though I had brothers, I’d never really seen a full grown man naked so close to me – well unless you count the cast of Hair in Germany! My brothers were too little to count really, and the one and only time I’d been to bed with Scott, in Leighton Buzzard, he’d stayed under the covers, in the dark.
My eyes were drawn to him like iron filings to a magnet. He remained motionless watching me watching him. His eyes boring into my face as mine bored into him. I tried to swallow but ended up choking and he leaned over me, patting my back as I coughed, laughing quietly.
‘I can see we’re going to have some fun later,’ he said taking my shaking hands in his and holding them against his chest. ‘If you manage to survive that long and don’t choke to death.’
What an idiot I am, I thought. Stupid, stupid, silly girl! Fancy coming over all unnecessary in front of him like that!
I pulled away and stood up, moving as far away from him as I could manage. ‘I’ll go and wait outside while you dress.’
‘Bit late for modesty. Stay,’ he said as he pulled on his jeans and a tee shirt. ‘How was the trip over? I heard on the radio there was a huge storm in the Channel.’
‘Yeah, it was bad, even the crew got sea-sick.’
‘You’re OK though?’ He brushed his hair and smiled at me.
‘Yeah, just tired really.’
‘You can have a nice hot bath later, with me, I’ll rub your back and you’ll soon perk up.’ He laughed putting his arms round me and holding me tight. ‘I’m here to look after you, don’t worry about anything.’ He kissed me long and hard. ‘I’ve missed you so much, I’m so happy you made it over and you’re here at last.’
‘Me too,’ I mumbled into his chest.
It felt really good to be held by him again and I just wanted to remain there for the whole visit. All thoughts of Stella were gone with the touch of his lips and the feel of him against me.
I went into the sitting room while Scott went into the kitchen to make tea. Mo and his girlfriend, Cassie, had tidied it up nicely, you couldn’t tell it had become a bedroom now I was going to be sharing with Scott. Mo smiled as we chatted about books and writing and being writers, whilst Cassie watched me carefully, giving me the once over. She was very pretty and a bit older than I first thought. She smiled at me eventually when she realised that Mo and I were just mates, I think.
‘Mo’s told me all about you and how long you and Scott have been together.’ She sat on Mo’s lap. ‘You two are a serious item.’
‘I guess so,’ I said trying not to beam at the confirmation of my status.
‘They are and a lovely couple too.’ Mo winked at me. ‘It’s called lurve.’
Scott handed cups of tea round and Mo sent him into their room for a tin of biscuits his parents had sent him for Christmas. Zak came into the room with his tea and sat on the floor in front of the TV.
He nodded at me and switched the set on. ‘Not going to your uncle’s then?’
Scott shook his head. ‘No, she can stay the whole time. He’s telling her parents she’s been with him if they ever check.’ He grinned and blew me a kiss, ‘He’s really cool.’
The girl with the bruising came in, wearing a bit more this time. She sat next to Zak and put her arms round him, but he shrugged her off rudely. I saw the hurt on her face and felt so sorry for her.
‘Renza, meet Prue.’ Scott smiled at her and she looked at me briefly and nodded. I smiled back. Everyone seemed on edge all of a sudden.
The TV came on loudly and Top of the Pops flickered to life with Frank Sinatra singing, ‘My Way’. Everyone laughed when Zak said that this was Ol’ Blue Eyes’ final retirement gig. He often retired apparently.
We watched Jimmy Savile introduce Pan’s People who danced to someone and something I couldn’t see or hear as Zak and Prue sat in front of the set having what seemed like a whispered row, blocking my view. He kept shoving her away when she touched him.
Mo and Cassie scowled at Zak, and Scott shook his head at me, raising his eyebrows.
The room was quite shabby and the furniture old and worn but it was large and there was an enormous sofa and lots of arm chairs, as well as a big dining table with six chairs.
Joss came in with his girlfriend, the beautiful dark-haired girl who’d been the first one I’d seen in the kitchen. She looked just like Joan Baez. She nodded to me and Joss came over and kissed me on the cheek.
‘Hi Renza, great to see you, we all missed you. Say hello to Mandy, you met her earlier when she had fewer clothes on, I gather.’
‘Hello Mandy, nice to see you again,’ I smiled broadly. She gave me a friendly wink. ‘Likewise.’
‘Art’s made some grub so if you girls want to sort out some trays, we can eat soon and then get sorted.’ Stephan came into the room and gave me the thumbs up sign and, surprised to see him, I nodded hello.
Seeing the look on my face Scott knelt beside my chair, ‘We’re going to see some friends play tonight, in town. Stephan’s treat. Do you want to come or stay here?’
‘Stay on my own?’ I know I sounded like a baby, but I didn’t want to be on my own, we had so little time as it was.
‘No, silly, we can go together with the others, or I can stay here with you, on our own. Up to you.’
‘I’ll go, you want to – I can tell.’
‘Great, you’ll love it. They’re playing Hatchet’s Playground where we gig quite a lot.’
‘I remember, you told me that you gigged there with Harmony Grass a while back.’
‘Yeah. That was cool and you’ll love The Baubles,’ Scott peered round Zak’s shoulder at the TV. ‘Hey, let’s see who’s on mate.’
‘Joe South’s just been on and later it’s going to be Peter Sarstedt.’ Zak moved so we could see the tiny screen.
‘Grub’s up!’
Art came in with plates of baked beans and Fray Bentos meat pies. I wondered if the band ever ate anything else. He handed plates round and we ate off trays on our laps, no one sat at the table. Tomato sauce passed round and piled-high plates of bread and butter. We ate in silence straining to hear Top of the Pops since Zak had turned the sound down so low it was almost inaudible. I did recognise The Edwin Hawkins Singers as they performed ‘Oh Happy Day’. They were followed by Canned Heat so I guessed they were singing ‘Going Up The Country.’
Fab bands and groovy songs. I loved them. I’ve really missed seeing music shows and TV in general. German TV was all very serious and there was lots on about the Second World War and concentration camps all the time. The music was all boring and military sounding, or James Last.
Af
ter eating, Art took the plates away and said he’d wash up later when we all got back and Scott and I went into his room to change. My stomach wasn’t aching and I was beginning to think my ‘you-know-what,’ was stopping, it does that sometimes, soon after it starts, which was such a relief. I felt almost human putting on my pale blue mini- skirt which did up with a huge safety pin, like a kilt. I had my white polo neck skinny-rib jumper and long white lace up boots on too, and finished off with a big black floppy felt artist’s hat, and a long paisley silk scarf. I hoped I’d look hip enough and not as if I’d been in the sticks for ages.
Scott put a pair of dark purple cords on, hipsters, and a short cut-off black ribbed jumper which had short sleeves and a buttoned neck, which he left undone right down to under his breast. His hair shone and had grown more than I thought it would, so it was on his shoulders. He looked sexy enough to eat. I actually felt my mouth water.
I put my make-up on; my usual big black eyes, mauve eyeshadow and lots of mascara, a tiny bit of rouge and pale glossy lipstick. My hair, almost to my bottom now, shone with the highlighted shampoo I used to keep my golden blonde bright and glossy.
Scott sighed as he looked at me, ‘I’m gonna watch you tonight, all the guys are going to be after you. You look good enough to eat – I may eat you later if you play your cards right.’
He kissed my neck and cheeks and hands and then slowly pressed his lips against mine and I felt his tongue dart between my lips as he pressed himself suggestively against me. I almost passed out.
‘Put her down and leave that ‘til, later you two.’ Joss stood in the doorway, laughing. ‘We’re ready to go and we’re waiting for you.’
The gig was amazing. The club was amazing. It had a glass floor and was all chrome and glass inside and full of beautiful people. I heard all the latest records, learned all the new dances, saw all the latest fashions and enjoyed being with Narnia’s Children who seemed to be famous wherever we went.
Girls and blokes kept coming up to them for autographs and to have their photos taken with them. I had my bottom pinched so many times I was sure I’d be black and blue.
The Baubles were so tight and groovy. Sean the keyboard player was really nice to me and I could tell he really liked Scott. I didn’t know their songs, like Narnia’s Children they write most of them, but I could tell the band were going places. Girls screamed all through their performance and they asked Narnia’s Children up on stage to sing harmonies with them on a couple of songs which they obviously knew and had sung with them before. It was so groovy. Even the blokes were shouting and waving at both bands by the end of the gig.
Prue, Mandy, and Cassie stood with me a lot of the time and we got chatting eventually and I found them to be really nice, not at all stand-offish or too sophisticated to talk to me. They seemed to think that Scott and I were officially engaged, and said he often talked about us getting married. I was so far gone, it was so far out – I was happy as Larry, hearing what they said.
I took a deep breath. ‘How’s Stella these days?’ I asked as casually as I could.
Mandy put her arm around me and squeezed me. ‘Didn’t Scott tell you? She’s not their fan-club secretary any more. She’s gone on to pastures new and greener.’
‘No, he didn’t. When did that happen?’ Trying to sound only slightly interested.
‘Oh a few weeks back, she was never going to be around long, she was just sort of filling in until she got a better offer.’
Cassie and Prue headed to the ladies and Mandy shook her head sadly when I asked if Prue had been in an accident, all that bruising. She told me that Zak had had a row with her, and settled it in his usual manner – hence the bruises. I was so shocked I gaped like a loon. I just couldn’t imagine it.
‘Why does she put up with it?’ I was astonished.
‘You tell me. We’ve all tried to make her see sense and the guys have almost come to blows with Zak over it.’
‘How awful, poor Prue, she seems so nice too.’ I couldn’t take it in.
‘Cassie and Mo might split up too.’ Mandy put her lips to my ear as she said this. Mo was standing a few feet away by this time, the band having come off stage for the last time.
‘Oh, that’s sad. They seem really happy to me.’ I liked them both and they seemed well matched. Just shows what I know.
‘Well, you know about their problem, I guess,’ she whispered, watching both Mo and the Ladies’ door. ‘Well, that’s the reason, we think.’
‘Oh, err, I don’t think I heard about that.’ I said, knowing full well I hadn’t a clue. Scott never gossiped or told me much about the others and their lives.
‘Had to have an abortion, it was all really sad and I think it is going to split them up. Cassie thinks Mo is starting to back off and things are not the same as before.’ Really? An abortion? Dear God! Mandy just blew my brains! I was gob-smacked. Gordon Bennett! Scott, was right – I was very, very innocent… Before I could say a word Mo came over as the girls came back from the loo. He smiled at Cassie and put his arm round her. She leaned against his shoulder and I felt so sad. I wondered why they couldn’t have kept the baby, but then I guess being in a band and on the road all the time with little or no money, without a secure future, wasn’t exactly the best situation in which to have a kid. It was tragic.
Zak came over and Prue went to him and said something I couldn’t hear and his face changed to a really nasty expression. Mandy nudged me hard in the ribs. She’d seen it too. She walked over to Prue and took her arm and led her away from Zak and over to where we were all standing, and attempted to involve her in conversation about a girl standing not too far from us who looked ‘famous’, but none of us could place her. Prue didn’t know who she was either. I certainly had no idea.
Stephan and Art came across and told us it was time to go. Scott found me and swept me up into his arms, much to the annoyance of a group of trendy girls who had been his shadow all evening.
He laughed. ‘Come on wife, time to go home and play doctors and nurses.’
We lay side by side, in bed, holding hands in the dark. Cosy and happy and whispering about the future. We’d had a long talk earlier about Stella and my fears, and although he never admitted they’d had a fling, I’ve decided to drop it because she’s resigned as fan-club secretary and wouldn’t be seeing the band again and you can’t build a future on suspicion and resentment. I believe whatever it was is over. Scott chatted about the band, and how we would need to wait a couple of years to get married to see how things worked out with the band and everything. But he was determined we should marry.
I told him I’d applied for some jobs in London and that there was a really good chance I might be interviewed in London sometime in March, when I was 18, so I’d been told by the Civil Service. I’d applied for a job in a government department which had hostel accommodation attached to it – Mum and Dad would only allow me to come back if I had somewhere to live as well. I thought it was a good way to get back and then take things from there. Scott seemed to think it was a great idea, too.
‘We’re going on the cruises again in the spring though, so I hope we get to see each other when you come over for the interview.’ He turned and stroked my hair and face as he spoke.
‘I won’t have any control over the date and stuff. I’ll have to stay at my uncle’s though, because Mum has already mentioned it to him on the phone when she told him I might be over, if I’m successful in getting an interview board.’
‘Let’s not worry about it now, something’ll turn up, I’m sure. And you’ll be here in London. With me. That’s all that matters.’
Scott moved across on top of me and soon we were lost in kissing and caresses and all conversation came to a halt.
Later on we woke and chatted some more about the future and our life together and made plans and imagined how it would be. Lots of doubts and worries I’d had were put to rest and for some reason I really believed it all, that it would happen, that we would be togethe
r forever.
Scott hummed into my ear as he held me tightly. ‘I wrote this song for you, “You Never Should Have Gone Away”.’
‘I remember,’ I sighed happily.
‘And the words of ‘Only One Woman,’ you remember them too?’ He bit my ear gently.
‘I’ve never forgotten, of course I do.’ I pressed up close and breathed in his lovely smell.
‘That’s OK then. Never forget I love you and never forget those words. Whatever happens, we will be together always. We will always find a way no matter what goes down. For the rest of our lives.’
***
We snuggled up together and I whispered ‘I’ll always love you too, no matter what happens.’
‘We have lots of time and things will work out just fine, believe me. I’ll make sure they do.’ Scott kissed me long and hard.
The only sounds, other than our own, until then in that darkened room, had been the cassette player, rewinding and replaying The Marbles’ Song, ‘Only One Woman’ because every single word was true. Now and forever.
Soon, even they were silent.
The End
Only One Woman Page 46