by Jacob Chance
"Right now, the very thought of it boggles my mind." Hard to miss the sarcasm dripping from my tone.
"Pffft, oh yeah, well hold on to your kibbles and bits, my friend, because I am about to blow. Your. Mind."
Did he just say kibbles and bits?
He steps back gingerly until he reaches the bench on the opposite side of the cell, sinks down onto it, and huddles in the corner. "Tigers don't just have striped fur… they have striped skin." He looks amazed and a little bit frightened at his own words and then smiles contently before falling asleep sitting straight up.
"Winters." I sit up as Officer Gray, the cop who arrested me shouts my name. "I need Winters front and center."
I step forward. "I'm Winters."
"Good for you, now wait right there." He turns around and walks back over to the control desk where he spends the next five minutes bragging to another male cop about his brand new Cadillac. "I even put a set of blue flashers in the grille too. I'm telling you, it's gorgeous."
I get sick of standing and move back to sit down on the bench again. He immediately stops his conversation. "Hey, Winters, did I tell you to wait right there, or did I say do whatever the fuck you want?"
Fantastic, this one's such a prick.
I retrace my steps. "My bad."
"Did I say wait there, or did I say do whatever the fuck you want?" he repeats his question.
"I'm back." I try to stay calm.
"Did I say wait there, or did I say do whatever the fuck you want?" He just won't let it go.
"I'm sorry, officer, I was just trying to be polite and give you some privacy while you flirted with that officer over there."
"What did you say?" they answer together, and neither of them seems to appreciate my sense of humor.
"Okay, smartass, maybe I’ll tell the bondsman we're all set and you can hang around for the weekend. How does that sound?" the other officer chimes in.
I turn around, taking a look at my cellmates and surroundings. "I would rather you didn't."
“So what do you say?” This prick just loves his job and keeps taunting me. "C'mon, you can do it. Let's see, what's your name here?” He looks over a sheet of paper in my file. “Oh, really? This is too good. Your name is Rex?"
I hear three different cellmates take turns barking from behind me.
“Is that a good dog? Is that a gooood dog?” The asshole repeats himself just to be sure everyone in the holding area can hear him. I see a wedding ring on his finger as he reaches up to fist bump Officer Gray, who appears to be in charge, sitting behind the control desk.
“Your wife didn't have any complaints last night.” I can't help myself, he's asking for it. I mutter it quietly, but not as quietly as I should have.
"The fuck did you say?”
I shouldn't have said it at all and I'm about to pay for it.
“All right, smartass, now you're here for the weekend." Officer dickhead storms out of the holding area, shouting about leaving me here until Monday.
Two long, uncomfortable hours later, Officer Gray is once again standing in front of the control desk with a shit-eating grin on his smug face. “You got anything else you want to say, Winters?”
“I do not." What else am I gonna say at this point?
“Well, I guess his bark is worse than his bite.” He's entertaining his buddies once again.
I say nothing.
“Let him go, bondsman is back,” one of the other officers tells him.
Forty five minutes later, I'm processed out and walk into the lobby of the police station, hoping to finally see a friendly face.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Adam, my younger brother and business partner, shouts. “You fucking asshole.”
What am I gonna say? He's not exactly wrong. “Fuck off. Where's my truck?”
“You're buying tonight. I have a feeling this is going to be a good story.” He tosses me the keys and points across the street from the station.
As we're waiting on traffic to cross the busy road, I can't help but notice the brand new Cadillac parked directly in front of the station.
"What the fuck are you doing? Let's go," Adam calls out, as I walk down and take a closer look.
A set of police-issued blue flashers are recessed into the front grille of the car.
"On my way," I call back to Adam, as I drag the key to my truck along the entire length of the Caddy.
I’m a firm believer that karma usually takes care of all things in good time. But sometimes in good time isn't good enough and karma can always use a little nudge. Besides, I’m an impatient motherfucker who doesn’t want to wait for karma to get off its ass.
"You're just begging to get locked back up, aren't you?" Adam doesn't agree with my sense of justice; or maybe it's the just released from jail thing that's bothering him.
"Just saying goodbye."
"And leaving behind several hundred dollars in damage too."
"What can I say? I'm a giver."
“I told you it wasn’t that big of a deal,” I say, as I finish telling Adam the details of my arrest.
“Why did you hit the guy, though?”
“He was being an asshole to Danika.”
“Danika is the meter maid?”
“Yes. And she’s a Parking Enforcement Officer, not a meter maid.”
“Was she hot?” Adam smirks.
“She’s attractive.”
“But, bro, you don’t even know her. You went a little overboard don’t you think?”
“I would’ve reacted the same regardless of how she looks.”
“Don’t worry. I already put in a call to Harold,” he mentions our friend who’s an attorney.
“He works in contract law, not criminal defense,” I scoff.
Adam shrugs. “Hey, beggars can’t be choosers. You want to go the public defender route?”
“No. That never goes well for me.”
Adam barks out a laugh. “I love how you’re experienced in these matters. You know, some people would question your sanity. I mean, isn’t the definition of insanity when you keep doing the same thing and expect different results?”
“Need I remind you, you’re not exactly perfect, Mr. Love ‘Em and Leave ‘Em. And since we’re related, you should be worried about what genes you inherited.”
“My imperfection doesn’t get me arrested, at least.”
“Not yet, anyway. You better be careful, or you’ll end up in another kind of jail.”
“What are you talking about?” Adam fears commitment more than anything.
“You’d make a great dad.” I smirk.
“Hell no.” Adam holds up his beer. “Here’s to not getting arrested or knocking anyone up.”
I clink my bottle against his. “I’ll drink to that.”
“I was thinking of something that might help your case.”
“Oh, were you now? And what’s that?” I droll.
“You should sign up for that anger management group.”
“Again? No, thanks, been there and done that. It’s obviously not working for me.” I chuckle.
“You know it will look good if you’re seeking help on your own, outside anything the court mandates.”
“Yeah, I guess I can see that.”
“Besides, can you honestly say you’ve given one hundred percent to the class every time you’ve taken it?”
I don’t even have to think about my answer. I know I haven’t because I don’t think the problem lies with me. I have shit luck and I’m a sucker for injustice. I’m someone who’ll stand up for the underdog, and I won’t back down if someone is trying to intimidate me. I suppose I also hate authority, but that’s a topic for another day. “No. Not at all.”
“Maybe this time you should put the information you’ll hear to use.”
“I suppose it can’t hurt.”
“Dude, if you keep getting into trouble, sooner or later you’re going to do jail time.” Adam looks concerned.
I laugh. “Co
me on, baby bro. Don’t exaggerate the situation.”
“What? You’ve never been arrested before? Don’t go there, because we both know that’s not true.”
“I didn’t say I was an angel, but it’s not like I get arrested weekly.”
“No, but don’t you think getting arrested at all is a problem?” Adam’s grin is one of irony more than happiness before his expression morphs, turning serious. He grips my shoulder. “Rex, you’re getting too old for this shit. When we were younger, I know we were crazy, but we’re not kids anymore. When are you going to calm down? What happens if you really lose it and hurt someone? If you do end up in jail? You have people who depend on you.” He releases his hold on me.
“I get why you’re concerned, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’ve got it all under control.”
Adam looks skeptical but doesn’t voice his opinion. Instead, he shrugs, a smile teasing his mouth. “I hope so, because if you go to jail, I’d have to find a new business partner. Who has time for that?”
3
Danika
Standing in front of Sergeant Glen’s office, I smooth a hand over the top of my pulled back hair. My mouth has gone dry and my knees nervously quake as I muster up the courage to knock. What waits for me on the other side of this door isn’t going to be enjoyable. If I’m lucky, I’m hoping to walk away without any disciplinary action.
Inhaling deeply one final time, I rap my knuckles on the wood three times.
“Come in,” he barks, and my stomach nervously rolls in protest. Gripping the knob, I force myself to turn the metal instead of tucking my tail and running away. Stepping inside, my gaze lands on the large man behind his desk. Busy typing on his laptop, he pays me no mind as I close the door behind me.
“Have a seat, Officer Putnam,” he directs, still focusing on what he’s working on.
Sinking down onto the hard chair in front of his desk, my hands clasp in my lap. Fingers locking together, I say a quick prayer for strength and leniency on his part. Whatever’s about to happen, I just want it over at this point.
Sergeant Glen leans back in his chair, studying me. I fight the urge to fidget as I wait for him to begin. “Officer Putnam, it seems you had a little trouble Friday.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’ve read Officer Gray’s report and it doesn’t paint your behavior in a flattering light. You acted in an unprofessional manner and your anger showed the lack of control you had over the situation.”
“Yes, sir.” I can’t disagree with what he’s saying.
“I’m glad you agree. Acknowledging you made a mistake is the first step in correcting your behavior. The second step will be attending a six-week-long anger management class.”
What? “I don’t understand, sir.”
“You’ll be going to a class that will help you control your anger.”
“But I’m not an angry person.”
“You were Friday.”
“That was because of the situation. I’ve never had a problem before, and it really wasn’t as bad as you think.”
He angles his head, studying me. “Oh, really?” I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like what he’s about to say next. He punches in a few keys on the laptop before turning the screen my way. “Let’s watch and see if you still think it wasn’t ‘bad’.”
Oh shit. Of course he has video of it. Officer Gray’s camera recorded the whole thing. Watching the replay of the situation on the screen is cringeworthy. The way my hand stayed on Rex’s chest is embarrassing and less than professional. Of course, shrieking obscenities at the woman in the crowd tops that by a mile. I grit my teeth as Officer Gray comes onto the screen. His smug expression is so typical.
Wait a minute. If this were the recording from the cruiser, I’d be looking at the back side of Officer Gray. “Where did you get this video?” I whisper.
“On YouTube. There are ninety thousand views already.”
“Oh my God, no.” I drop my head to my hands.
Sergeant Glen chuckles. “I’m just kidding. Officer Gray was very persuasive and convinced both the man and woman to turn the videos over to him and he made sure it was deleted from their phones.”
Phew. I never thought I’d see the day that I was grateful for Officer Gray, but I guess his handsome countenance is good for something. Raising my head, I expel a relieved sigh.
“I don’t want you to underestimate the seriousness of this matter, though. How do I know you won’t run into a similar situation again? And maybe next time it will result in a physical altercation on your end.”
“I’m not a violent person, sir.”
“You don’t have to be to snap. Everyone has a breaking point.”
Shit. No matter what I say I’m not going to change his mind. The best thing I can do is to be compliant and get out of here as soon as possible. “Yes, sir.”
“Here’s the information on the class.” He hands me a sheet of paper and places another down on his desk. “And I need you to sign this form stating you agree with this disciplinary action.” He slides a pen my way.
Glancing down, I read through and sign on the designated line. I don’t want to lose my job, so there’s nothing I can do but accept his decision as gospel.
“Putnam, I expect you to attend all the anger management sessions and to comply with whatever they ask of you.”
“Yes, sir. I will, sir.”
“The first class is this coming Thursday night. I want you to check in with me next Monday morning at the start of your shift.”
“Okay, sir.”
“You can go now.”
“Thank you, Sergeant Glen.” Rising, I head to the door.
“Danika.” I pause with my hand on the knob and glance over my shoulder. “This is just a speed bump in the road. Don’t let it turn into more.”
“I won’t.” Stepping into the hallway, I close the door behind me. Leaning back on the solid wooden surface, I close my eyes and blow out a relieved puff of breath.
“I take it you didn’t get in too much trouble?”
My eyes snap open to find Officer Gray standing in front of me. “No, not as bad as it could’ve been. I... uh… I guess I owe you thanks for getting them to turn over their videos. That was nice of you.”
“I didn’t do it for you, Putnam. These days, police catch enough flack for every little thing we do. I didn’t want to fan the flames with a viral video of your unprofessional behavior. The last thing we need is more negative attention on us.”
I should’ve known he’d have some unpleasant words for me, but he did save me from further embarrassment.
I nod once. “Right. Well, I’m still grateful.” I walk away before I can say something I shouldn’t and get myself in even more trouble.
A horn blares nearby. Turning, I find the driver of the vehicle giving me the finger as he passes by. My eyes reflexively roll. No matter the day, it never fails that I’ll get at least one person flipping me off for no reason. It goes with the territory of being a Parking Enforcement Officer. And most of the time I find it amusing.
Today, my sense of humor is struggling to be present. I’m still annoyed I have to attend an anger management class. Damn that Rex. It’s all his fault.
The soft spring breeze stirs up a wisp of my hair, tickling my cheek. Sweeping it back, I’m reminded why I enjoy my job so much. I love to be outside, and walking for miles each day is also a great way to stay in shape.
Breathing in the Boston air, I smile. God, I love this city.
Growing up in a Massachusetts suburb in the western part of the state, I dreamed of living and working in Boston. Getting to this point wasn’t an easy journey, but now I’m living my dream at the age of thirty-five. It took me longer to get here than I imagined, but the last five years working this job has breathed new life into me.
Many of my day-to-day tasks are fairly solitary, but I enjoy working on my own. There’s no need to make idle conversation with coworkers. It’s just me and my own
thoughts.
Checking an expired meter, I notice it’s only five minutes past the time and keep walking. When I return this way I’ll make sure it’s taken care of. I try not to be a heartless jerk about handing out tickets. I don’t mind cutting someone slack, but there’s no shortage of those who’d try to take advantage of my naturally fair nature. And there’s a fine line between being understanding and a sucker.
“Dani?”
I spin around and find my ex-husband standing in front of me. My insides plummet like a runaway elevator careening down a tall shaft. “Pete.” I give a cursory nod. “How are you?” I politely ask, even though I’m not sure I want to know.
“I’m great, thanks. How are you?” He looks me over from head to toe while I do the same. He’s still as handsome as always, although the age lines at the outer corners of his eyes show more visibly.
“Super.” I smile tightly. “Well, I’m in the middle of my shift, so take care.”
“Wait.” His command stops me from turning away. “I’m in town for a conference for the next two days. Do you think we could get together for dinner and catch up?”
Would I want to spend an hour or two talking to Pete over a meal? No. I don’t wish him ill or anything, but we went our separate ways because of our careers and haven’t spoken since our divorce was finalized three years ago. If he really wanted to be my friend, I would’ve heard from him by now, instead of getting updates from my own mother. And from the sounds of it, he’s still living out of state.
“I’d love to, but I have plans both nights. Take care of yourself.” Pivoting, I walk a few steps before his words have me pausing.
“I’m sorry things went the way they did, Danika.” His voice is filled with regret.
Turning, I shake my head. “Pete, you don’t need to apologize. We had a lot of great times, but we both wanted our careers more than our marriage and neither of us was willing to compromise. I think that says a lot about us not being right for each other. When the right person comes along, things will fall into place for both of us.” He grimaces and runs his hand along the bottom of his chin. It’s then that I notice the gold band on his left finger. My eyes go wide. “Oh, uh… congratulations. Looks like you already found that person.” I gesture toward the ring.