MANTRUM

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by Jacob Chance


  “Danika,” I whisper her name. “Danika.” I try once more. This time her eyelids flutter open and she peers up at me, blinking away the morning haze.

  “Hi.” Her voice is adorably husky.

  “Good morning. I’m sorry it’s so early, but I need to head home and get ready for work. There’s a coffee and a muffin waiting for you. I ran down the street and grabbed them so you can sleep in a little.”

  “You’ve thought of everything.”

  “Not everything. I should’ve woken up early enough to make love to you one more time. That would be starting the day in the perfect way.”

  “There’s always tomorrow.”

  “Why don’t you come over tonight and I’ll cook you dinner.”

  “I’d love that, but I’m meeting Roxanne and Violet tonight.”

  Leaning over, I press a kiss to her forehead. “Go back to sleep. I’ll call you later and we’ll figure something out.”

  “Have a good day.”

  I lock the door on my way out and jump in my truck. We live about fifteen minutes from each other, but at this early hour I’m able to make it in six.

  I find Ruby in the kitchen eating cereal. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at your mom’s.”

  “Chill, Dad. She just dropped me off. I didn’t stay here alone all night.” She arches a brow as if to say ‘where have you been?’

  “Okay, good. You’re too young to spend the night alone.”

  “So you’re admitting you’re just getting home?” She grins.

  “I didn’t say any such thing.”

  “Come on, Dad. I’m fifteen. I know you can’t live like a monk the rest of your life.”

  I rub a hand over my forehead. It’s too early in the morning for this conversation, but I guess now is as good a time as any. “I spent the night at Danika’s.”

  “Good. I really like her.”

  “You do? You’re not angry that I have a girlfriend?”

  “Dad, if you and Mom were going to get back together it would’ve happened long ago. I don’t want either of you to spend the rest of your lives alone. You deserve to be happy. I mean, you’re not getting any younger. Be happy while you can.”

  “Thanks for reminding me.” Leaning over, I kiss the top of her head. “How did we get such a well-adjusted kid?”

  “God knew you couldn’t handle it if I wasn’t.”

  “He’s right. I couldn’t.”

  “Does Danika mind that you have me? I know not every woman likes to deal with kids from another mother.”

  “She thinks you’re great. And I know the more you get to know her, you’ll realize how amazing she is. She’s caring and unselfish. She’d never make me choose between you and her. That’s not the type of person she is. Her career is very important to her.”

  “Sounds like you guys have the career thing in common. But if you want my opinion, I’ve noticed how much more relaxed you’ve seemed for the past six weeks or so.”

  “Really? She does make me feel calm.”

  “Mom liked her too, if that matters.”

  “If she didn’t, it wouldn’t stop me from being with her, but of course I respect your mom’s opinion. Danika liked your mom too.”

  “Don’t screw this up, Dad. Danika could be the one.”

  “I’m trying not to. And I think you might be right. But I want you to know something, Ruby, and I don’t ever want you to forget this. You will always be the most important person to me. There’s no love that can compare to the love a parent has for their child. And I got the most amazing kid of all, so I love you more than any parent in the history of parents.” She stands and throws her arms around me. I squeeze her tight and try to freeze time.

  “I love you so much, Daddy.” My heart squeezes with the name I haven’t heard in all too long.

  “I love you too. You make me proud every day.” We pull apart and I tap her nose. “I’m going to get ready for work. What do you say you and I have a pizza party some night soon?”

  “Just you and me?” she asks.

  “Just you and me.”

  She smiles. “I want pepperoni.”

  “You can get whatever you want. And I’ll even try to get home early.”

  “Make Uncle Adam work late for a change.”

  “I like how you think, kiddo.”

  20

  Rex

  All day I’ve practically floated through my work-related tasks. Last night was amazing, and the fact that Danika isn’t regretting anything today makes it perfect. I knew taking my time with her would pay off. My phone buzzes with a text from Danika. My lips arc into a smile and I haven’t even read it yet.

  Danika: How’s your day been?

  Me: Is it me or are the birds singing louder and the sun is brighter than usual?

  Danika: It’s you. Haha just kidding. I think after last night everything seems better.

  She’s right. The world is somehow a better place now.

  Me: How’s your day going?

  Danika: It’s been busy, which is why I’m just texting now. What are you doing tonight?

  Me: Ruby and I are having a pizza party.

  Danika: Aww

  I rub my beard feeling conflicted for lying.

  Me: Jealous?

  Danika: Never. I love that you make time for her.

  Me: Be careful tonight and text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe.

  Danika: I will xoxo.

  “So, fill me in on this plan of yours,” Adam says from the passenger seat in my truck.

  “There’s this d-bag cop who works with Danika. He’s the guy whose car I keyed.”

  “So who’s really the d-bag in this situation?”

  “Fuck you. He is. If he wasn’t such a dick in the first place, I wouldn’t have done that. And now I want to do much worse because he’s threatening Danika.”

  “That’s fucked up. He’s definitely a dick.”

  “Yeah, it is. And it sounds like he’s been following us. He knew we were together. How would he know that?”

  “Dude, that’s beyond fucked up.”

  “He needs a reality check and I’m going to be the one to give it to him.”

  “Bro, I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Adam tries to dissuade me, but my mind is already made up.

  “There he is, right there.” I point to his vehicle as he pulls into a spot in front of a massage parlor.

  “Aww, bro, you’re going to ruin his happy ending.”

  “I’m going to ruin more than that.” I park a few spaces over and jump from my truck, already calling out his name. Adam slips out to have my back. Gray stops in place, squinting his eyes to see who it is.

  “Hey, fuckface, remember me?” I walk right up to him and slap the side of his face so hard it feels like my hand is going to explode. He stumbles back in shock, and before he has time to react, I kick his legs out, sending him tumbling to the ground. "So I hear you want to talk to me." He reaches out slowly and looks up at me with blood gathering on his chin. "Oh, you fucked up now, asshole." He smiles and spits a mouthful of blood on the ground at my feet. "And you too, motherfucker. I see you over there," he shouts at Adam, who appears to be stunned by what's happening.

  "Let's keep this between you and me, huh?" I grab hold of the fingers on his outstretched hand and twist, forcing him back up to his feet in pain.

  Gray grabs at my hand to pry loose my grip on his fingers but quickly realizes it won't work. He tries to gouge my eyes next, but he's weak and doesn't tolerate pain very well. He cries out in a high-pitched wail and bends forward as I turn his wrist outward.

  "Pussy." I lift my knee into his sternum, and when he pops up, I hit him square in the jaw with everything I've got.

  Gray falls straight back and lands with a sickening thud on the pavement.

  "What the fuck, Rex? Is he dead?" Adam is suddenly pulling me away, shouting in my face and pushing me back toward the truck.

  "Are you out of your m
ind? Who the hell beats up a fucking cop?" Adam is livid and I can't blame him. "We're both going to jail after that shit. Thanks a lot you friggin’ maniac."

  He's right. I'm an asshole and I can't believe I got him involved. I slow down and pull the truck over to the curb.

  "Get out," I tell him.

  "Fuck you, get out. I ain't going nowhere. I've got your back, brother, and I'm staying," Adam insists.

  I take a slow, deep breath. "Thanks, little brother, but this one's on me. And if you really wanna have my back, you'll get out."

  "Why?"

  "We're not going to make it back to my place before the cops find this truck, and I'm gonna need you free so you can bail me out and tell Danika what’s going on." I quickly text him her number.

  Adam thinks about it and knows I'm right. He opens the door and slides out. "Brother, you are one crazy fucker, you know that?"

  "Go big or go home, right?" I wink at him as he closes the door, then I pull away from the curb.

  I make it maybe two miles before an ocean of police cars gather behind me. Lights flashing in my rear view mirror and sirens wailing in the air all around me, I take my time and make them follow me for another mile.

  By the time I do finally pull off onto the shoulder, the procession of police cars behind me would make OJ and his buddy Al proud. The only thing missing was a white Bronco.

  "Don't move, asshole." Within seconds, I'm surrounded by an angry group of policemen, all pointing their guns at me.

  "Don't move."

  "Hands up."

  "Open the fucking door."

  "I said don't move."

  It's complete chaos with each of them angrier than the other and shouting orders at me.

  Before I can figure out which command to follow, one of them steps in, breaks my window and opens the door.

  "All right, take it easy," I call out, as they descend on me with what feels like a thousand arms, grabbing, pulling, and twisting at me. I'm quickly dragged out of the truck, spun in six different directions, and slammed onto the road with enough force to knock all the air out of my lungs.

  The next couple of minutes are a blur of arms, knees, elbows, and fists, as the angry mob of officers take their revenge on me. They eventually wrap me up like a pretzel and rag-doll me into the back of a cruiser.

  "Hope it was worth it, scumbag." The officer up front speaks only once on the ride to lockup.

  "It was." I smile as we lock eyes in the rear view mirror. "Thanks."

  Sitting on the uncomfortable bench, I stare at the cement floor, my hands dangling between my knees. I can’t believe I fucked up so badly. What was I thinking when I followed Gray and beat his ass? I never should’ve handled it with violence. Violence is never the answer. You’d think I’d know that by my age, but I saw red when I found out he was messing with my woman. And now he has legitimate charges to use against me.

  God, Danika is going to be so disappointed in me. She probably already is. I’m assuming Adam called her and told her I’d been arrested. She must be hurt that I lied to her. But if she knew what my plan was, she never would’ve gone along with it. I had to make her think I was spending the night hanging out with Ruby.

  Christ. What a clusterfuck this has turned into. Instead of Gray wanting to have dirt on me, I made sure he has it, in spades. I played right into his hands. Assaulting an off-duty cop is no joke. I could end up with jail time from this and there’d be no way to hide that from Ruby. What is she going to think of my actions? Will she hate me?

  Fuck.

  I screwed up so horribly and I don’t see any way out of this situation that won’t mean Ruby finding out. Disappointing my daughter is even worse than disappointing Danika.

  21

  Danika

  I’m about to leave my condo to meet the girls when my phone rings with a number I don’t recognize. “Hello.”

  “Danika, it’s Adam. Rex’s brother.”

  “Adam, hi.” There’s an awkward pause where he says nothing and I start to worry. “Is everything all right?”

  “Uh, there’s a little problem.” He sighs. “Rex got arrested.”

  “What?” I shriek. “Why?”

  “He beat up Gray.”

  “Oh no. No. No. No. I told him not to do anything. Oh my God. I’m going to kill your brother.”

  “We need to bail him out first and then you can do whatever you want with him. I have the money, but I was hoping you might be able to make this happen faster.”

  “I’ll meet you at the station. I’m leaving now.” I totter down the stairs and out to my car as quickly as I can in my heels and skirt. Racing to the station, I find Adam standing outside waiting. He hugs me reassuringly.

  I take a deep breath and pull my shoulders back. “Let’s get this over with."

  "You know the drill, Putnam. Hurry up to wait, right?" The desk sergeant smiles. He’s nicer than most of the on duty officers would've been in this situation and it helps alleviate some of the embarrassment I'm feeling right now.

  "Thanks." I manage a half smile back.

  "No worries. When the bondsman gets here, you'll be the first."

  Adam and I spend the next few hours sitting on a wooden bench in the lobby.

  I question him about what's happened. He explains as best he can. I get up and pace when the wait seems too long. When I feel overwhelmed, I cry on his shoulder a bit. But most of the time we spend small-talking and just passing the time. Adam is a lot like Rex, except maybe without the temper. I can see why they get along so well.

  By the time the bondsman arrives and processes him out, Rex looks exhausted, and more than a little embarrassed. We hug briefly and walk out in silence.

  Rex gets in my car and we sit in continued silence for another minute before he finally speaks. “I’m sorry, Danika. I fucked up so badly and I don’t know what to do about it.”

  “This is why I didn’t want to tell you about Gray. If I hadn’t mentioned it, this never would’ve happened.”

  “Do not blame yourself for my shortcomings. I didn’t think it through. You told me to leave it alone and I should’ve. Instead, I let my anger get the best of me and acted without thinking. Fuck. This is bad.”

  “I want to be able to tell you things, Rex. But if this is what’s going to happen every time, then we’re not going to work out. I’m looking for a partner who I can share every aspect of my life with. Not just the good things.” I start my car and pull out onto the street. We drive in silence until we reach his house.

  “Do you want to come in?” he asks. Turning to him, I see so much sadness in his eyes.

  “No, not tonight.”

  “Are we through?” he questions hoarsely.

  “No. I’m just really mad at you right now, and I don’t want to say things I’ll regret. You even lied to me about having a pizza party with your daughter. That’s low.”

  “I know I did, but I didn’t want you to know where I was going.”

  “Maybe the fact that you couldn’t tell me should’ve clued you in that it was a bad idea.”

  “You’re right. If I have to hide something from you, then I shouldn’t be doing it in the first place.”

  “You need to do some thinking and soul-searching and decide if you’re ready to be in an honest relationship. Are you capable of talking things through and not reacting on your own? I want an equal partnership, and if you’re incapable of that, let me know sooner rather than later.”

  “I don’t need to think about it at all. I already know that I want everything you mentioned. I’ve fallen for you, Danika, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

  “You’re not responsible for my happiness, Rex. If we’re a team, then you need to be a team player. All I’m asking for is a chance to talk you off the ledge before you make reckless decisions that affect us both. That’s what adults do, Rex. Otherwise, you’re just being selfish, and I know that’s not who you really are.”

  “I’m so sorry. There’s n
othing I can say to take away what happened. And I hate that you’re disappointed in me. Somehow, I’ll make this right.” He puts his hand on the door handle and then turns back to me. “Will you be at court in the morning?” He looks like a scared boy, not the grown man I know and love.

  “Of course I will. I’ll meet you there. Go inside and get some sleep so you’re rested. Everything will be fine somehow." I lean over and wrap my arms around him. We hold each other, neither of us wanting to let go.

  “Ruby’s at her mom’s and I’m not ready for the painful silence inside my house,” he confesses.

  “Oh, Rex. Take a shower and eat something. Watch some meaningless TV and go to bed.” I draw back first. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I smile, but I know it never reaches my eyes.

  He caresses his fingers down my cheek and shakes his head like he can’t find the words he wants to say. I swallow back the lump in my throat as he gets out of my car. I don’t want him to see the tears in my eyes.

  I wait for him to be inside the house before driving away. I tried to be strong and reassuring for him, but I’m not sure what’s going to happen at his arraignment. And I’m too scared to think about it now.

  22

  Rex

  Sitting in the back row of the courtroom waiting on my arraignment has me on edge.

  Every time I walk in one of these buildings, I'm always struck with the impending feeling that they won't be letting me walk out.

  "Stay calm. Whatever happens, I'm here with you." Danika's voice brings me back into the moment. "Remember this is just the arraignment. You've already posted bail. They're going to officially read the charges, you'll enter a plea, and we're walking out of here, together." She smiles and slides her hand across my thigh, slipping it under mine and interlocking our fingers gently. "Together."

 

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