“Right then. Well, ye remember when I told ye that the guard had said something that really upset me?” he reminded her.
“Of course, I’m no halfwit,” she replied.
“And last evening, I ken ye sensed the tension with me faither and me uncle?” he said.
Arabella nodded.
“When I was a lad, a few years back, me uncle came to me one day and he told me something about me parentage,” Francis finally began. He felt the tears welling up in his eyes already. He was going to share his most vulnerable aspect with Arabella. She might completely reject him. She might tell the whole world about it. And it meant they would be sharing something that could further hurt the reputation of his mother.
“Yer parentage?” Arabella asked.
“Aye. He suggested that me mother, Jeanne, was unfaithful. He suggested that me faither isnae me actual faither. That I’m living a lie. And that I’m not really the heir of a laird or even the natural born son of the man I claim to have for a faither,” he finally got out. Francis swiped at his eyes as they began to fill.
Arabella looked at Francis and he held her eyes for a moment, trying to read them. He saw a softening of her previous anger. Beyond that, he didn’t know what she was thinking. He wondered if he had ruined everything.
“So why are ye telling me this?” she asked.
Francis was incredulous. “What do ye mean by asking me that question? Of course I have to tell ye. Ye were so upset about me not telling ye everything. This is why I am always so angry. Do ye ken what it’s like to be illegitimate?” he challenged her. The term came hot and angry.
“No, I dinnae. But Francis, it doesnae change who ye are as a man. It’s a rumor. Do ye have any kind of evidence?” she asked.
“No. I have me uncle’s word,” he replied.
“And do ye have anyone else’s word?” she asked.
“Do I need it?”
“Of course. Ye cannae base yer entire existence on the word of one man. Does he claim to be yer faither? Because if not, how could he possibly ken?” she pointed out.
Francis paused and thought about her words. He had thought about them before himself. For some reason, coming from Arabella, they made so much more sense. He looked at her again and this time watched as she looked to the blue skies with questions in her eyes.
“What else are ye thinking?” he asked her.
“I dinnae understand, honestly. Ye’re such a good man, but the anger ye have about all of this, it’s senseless. Ye dinnae even ken if it’s true, Francis. No one can confirm except yer mother and ye said she’s gone. Ye look like yer faith-”
“I ken. Me uncle said me mother had a type. That the man she was unfaithful with looked like me faither and that’s where I get his features from,” Francis interrupted. He had thought the same thing many times over, but that explanation from his uncle had always stuck with him as a possibility.
Arabella sighed again. “Honestly, Francis, I think ye’re basing a lot on this. Do ye remember yer mother?” she asked.
“Very little. But I remember her as an honest woman,” Francis replied, still emotional at the thought of her.
“Then continue thinking of her that way. There’s got to be more to the story. There’s got to be a reason yer uncle said these things. Do ye really believe that she was the sort of woman who would leave yer faither for another man and then let ye take the inheritance when she kenned it wasnae true?” Arabella challenged.
Francis thought for a moment. It contradicted everything else he had ever known or been told about his mother. His uncle’s words were the only slander he had ever heard against her. Maybe Arabella was right. Maybe it was all fake, just a way of bringing down her name.
Or just a way of pushing Francis out of his position.
“So ye dinnae judge me for being possibly illegitimate?” Francis asked.
Arabella scoffed. “Dinnae even say that. Ye ken, I’m just a lass whose faither is off and away in some distant land because he’s not long for this world and me mother died long ago. I’m not one to judge about parents. Mine have been wonderful, but I’ve not exactly been with them much of me life,” Arabella reminded him.
“Aye, true. But no one’s ever accused yer mother of being unfaithful, have they?” he asked.
“Not to me knowledge. But people don’t often speak ill of the dead,” she said.
“Me uncle did,” Francis reminded her.
“Well, yer uncle is an old fool and a drunkard,” she pointed out matter-of-factly.
Francis laughed. “Aye, he is at that. Sorry if he was too rowdy last evening. He didnae bother ye too much, now, did he?” Francis asked.
“He bothered me a great deal, but more than anything I think it was his breath that gave me cause for nausea,” Arabella replied in her same dry tone.
Francis laughed again. He loved it when Arabella spoke so nonchalantly against things. Now, having her speak that way against his uncle, he found himself enamored by her more than ever.
“Lady Arabella, would ye mind joining me for a while?” he asked, motioning for her to sit with him on the bench beside the lake.
“I should like that very much,” Arabella replied.
Francis sat, wiping the last of his tears and trying to ensure that he was fully recovered from the emotions he had shown Arabella.
They sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke up again.
“Tell me, why do ye think yer uncle might want ye to question yer parentage?” she asked.
“No reason. I assume it was just something that he heard once and he decided to make sure I kenned about it. I ken others talk about it. I’ve seen them whispering. I’ve heard me uncle answering questions about it. It’s not easy. And last evening, I heard more of it during the reception. I couldnae stand there anymore and keep listening while they all discussed who I really am,” he told her.
“It seems a strange thing that he should have told ye instead of yer faither,” Arabella pointed out.
“Aye, but I think he’s told him as well. It’s never been spoken between me faith-between the laird and me. But I’ve sensed it. I’ve sensed that he wonders, that he’d be less than surprised if he had proof, evidence that I’m not who I say I am. But no one else has ever suggested me mother might have been unfaithful, like I said. She had a reputation for good. This was the first thing that’s ever been said against her,” Francis explained.
“Then I’m right. There has to be more to it than that. Good women dinnae just suddenly run off and be unfaithful. There’s always something more to their behavior. A pattern of lacking in discipline at the very least. Or flirtation. It just doesnae make sense,” she said, clearly thinking through all of it.
Francis smiled at her warmly, although Arabella didn’t look at him to notice it. He was grateful that rather than judging him for a fraud, or judging his mother for a harlot, Arabella was determined to find another cause or another reason for this rumor.
“Ye are being awfully gracious with me,” Francis said to her.
She looked at him then and gave him a smile. “Well, now I understand ye a little better. I could continue being angry about last night, I could be frightened by what I saw happen at Dunmore, but I’d rather look for another explanation from ye as well,” she said.
“Just like yer uncle said these things about yer mother, I could say terrible things about ye. Ye’re reckless, violent, and cruel with yer tongue. But there was something else to it, wasnae there? Something underneath it all to explain away what I saw on the surface. And there will be for yer mum as well. We’ll figure it out. We’ll learn the truth,” Arabella committed.
“Ye’re in this with me?” Francis asked in surprise.
“Of course I am. We’ll learn together. Because I cannae think how ye’ll do it all alone. I mean, I suppose that’s the problem. I can think how ye’d do it alone and it ends with lots of dead bodies and sad women,” she laughed.
Francis didn’t find that overly f
unny, but he was learning more about Arabella’s humor to understand that she wasn’t trying to insult him, just point out a truth. He could be violent, and he could be cruel, especially when dealing with this topic.
However, he would show her that he could also be good. He would prove to Arabella that there was more to him as a man and that he was capable of being kind and generous. He would show her that he was wise and observant--all the things he had determined to show her before they had come on this journey.
He had gotten off to a difficult start, had shown her parts of him he didn’t like overly much. Now he would now prove to her who he really was and what he could truly be like.
He only needed her to trust him.
And that would come.
Chapter 16
An Educational Visit To Lady Anicette
“Oh goodness!” Arabella exclaimed, standing upright and in a sudden hurry.
“What is it?” Francis asked. They had been sitting there for what must have been at least two hours, just enjoying the fresh air and talking of nothing more of importance.
“I almost forgot. I have an appointment this afternoon,” Arabella said.
“An appointment?” Francis asked.
“Aye. I’ve got to get going. Forgive me, but I’m in a terrible rush,” she exclaimed, running and leaving Francis behind, standing in bewilderment.
She didn’t wait for him. She had been so shocked by his news and so curious about how she might help him prove there was more to the story that she had forgotten all about her appointment with Lady Anisette.
She knew that the lady wouldn’t be leaving until the early evening, but Arabella also knew it might take the better part of an hour to reach her home. She didn’t wish to stay so long that Lady Anisette would have to ask her to leave as she had other plans.
Once Arabella arrived at the townhouse, she asked for the coach to be brought. She gave the coachman the card Lady Anisette had given here.
“Here is the address. Do ye think we can make it there quickly?” she asked.
“Aye, lass, it shouldnae take too long,” the coach replied.
Arabella had grown unaccustomed to being called ‘lass’ by household staff. Her time as being the Lady of Dunmore had been brief, but was already growing to be a part of her. Although she hoped it wouldn’t be forever.
Arabella was thinking more and more of marriage again lately. She didn’t want to start thinking of Francis as a potential match when he was so changeable, but after his confessions this morning, she knew that he would not tell those things to just anyone.
“My lady!” came an angry cry from behind Arabella as she waited for the coachman to fix the reins of the horses.
Arabella froze, realizing exactly to whom the voice belonged. She turned, her face in a frozen expression of awareness of her mistakes.
Laurie stood with her hands on her hips, a stern look of scolding on her face.
“Laurie!” Arabella greeted with an anxious smile. “Oh dear me…”
“Aye, dear ye!” Laurie yelled.
“I am quite sorry. I forgot ye were meant to go with me at all times. Here, please join me. I’m on me way to the home of Lady Anisette. She was one of the guests last evening,” Arabella explained, hoping to distract Laurie with the current happenings rather than give her space to wonder where Arabella had been in the morning.
“Of course I am coming with ye, and on the way ye had better tell me exactly where ye’ve been these morning hours or the Laird MacGowan will have me head,” she demanded in a scolding whisper.
Arabella tried to think of a lie she could spin, but the best she came up with to tell Laurie on the journey was that she had gone for a walk alone and bumped into Francis, but returned without marring her virtue. It was enough to appease the handmaid, although Arabella could sense that she was still angry.
Once they reached Lady Anisette’s townhouse, they were invited indoors.
“Oh me dear lass!” Lady Anisette greeted. “Arabella, please come and have a seat. And ye must be…”
“Laurie, Lady Anisette. I will await Lady Arabella outside,” she said, going to sit with the servants, who were playing cards.
Arabella and Lady Anisette sat and one of the maids brought them tea. It was strong, just as Arabella liked.
“How are ye doing today?” Lady Anisette asked, not allowing too much time for silence and stirring of the one lump of sugar a young woman was allowed in her tea.
“Very well, Lady Anisette. Certainly much better than last evening,” Arabella replied honestly.
“I’m glad to hear it. Did ye read?” she asked.
“Aye, Lady Anisette. Thank ye for yer advice. I believe that’s exactly what brought me through the night,” Arabella said with a sigh.
“Excellent. And what have ye done this morning?” Lady Anisette inquired.
Arabella formed the words as vaguely as possible. She wanted to share the story with this woman who had been such a comfort to her, but knew that she could not risk embarrassing Francis so soon after he had been vulnerable with her.
“Well, me dear friend came to me and apologized for his behavior. It seems that he was rather ashamed for how he treated me so badly. And I do think he was being honest about it. I cannae imagine he would have told me all that he did had he not been truly sorry,” Arabella said.
“What all did he tell ye, Arabella? He was honest about something that ye think he wouldnae have otherwise told ye?” she asked, not quite understanding.
“Aye, Lady Anisette. Ye see, I understand now why he has always been so angry and distant. He believed his birth to be illegitimate. He’s been told so by someone in his family. I think he is rather sensitive at times to people questioning him,” Arabella said.
“Hmm,” was the only reply from Lady Anisette. There was a sense of understanding in the wise woman and it comforted Arabella.
“Forgive me, perhaps I ought not to be saying all these things,” Arabella acknowledged, then realized she sounded just like Francis had that morning.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Arabella. I think I understand the predicament quite well. It’s not uncommon. Why does he believe himself to be illegitimate?” she asked.
“He’s been told that his mother was unfaithful. But I dinnae believe it. Or maybe I just dinnae want to…” Arabella replied.
“Aye, I can see that. It’s hard to accept something so harsh about a person. Especially one we love. And if it’s said about someone loved by the one you love, it’s still hard,” Lady Anisette laughed.
“Oh, I never said I love him,” Arabella laughed nervously, her eyes wide.
Lady Anisette looked at her with pursed lips and knowing wisdom. “Dinnae be a fool, Arabella. Ye wouldnae care so much about all of this if ye didnae love him, whoever the lad might be.”
Arabella considered this. Is it true? Did she love Francis? Was it possible that she felt for him in ways that she couldn’t even confess to herself?
She didn’t want to think about it right then, there were other things to focus on. She was sitting with a wise, wealthy woman who could keep her entertained and comforted through all of this. It was better for her to make a new friend than it was for her to bore Lady Anisette with her confusion about her feelings for Francis.
“Anyway, ye seem to ken quite a lot about love,” Arabella said, moving on the conversation.
“Aye,” Lady Anisette grinned. “I do indeed. I was young once. And after being spurned by love once or twice, I found me husband. He was magnificent in every way. It was me faither that arranged the match, but in the end, I loved the man more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. I still do,” she confessed with a sad smile. It was clear that her heart was still with her husband after all this time.
Arabella listened intently, enjoying hearing about how Lady Anisette loved her late husband. She seemed as if missing him must be what took up most of her time.
“I do so enjoy hearing about young lassies like
yerself and how ye love. It reminds me of me own youth and me own love for me husband. So please, feel free to say all wish,” Lady Anisette welcomed.
“Have ye no other young ladies to talk to?” Arabella asked.
Lady Anisette’s face seemed to change a little. She was suddenly downcast. It was as if something had come over her entirely.
“I’m sorry, Lady Anisette. Did I say something wrong?” Arabella asked.
“Oh, no, dinnae worry. I just…I had a lass once. She was me daughter and we loved her dearly. I loved hearing about her romance with her husband. But she died a very long time ago,” Lady Anisette said vaguely.
Arabella gasped. “Lady Anisette, please do forgive me. I had no idea. I would never have mentioned it had I known. Oh dear, I have made a mess of things, havnae I?” she apologized.
“Dearie, dinnae worry about it. It’s only that it’s been so long since anyone has asked me about her. She was lovely. Perhaps that’s why I am enjoying your company so much. Ye’re a terrific young woman and ye’re a good deal like her. Strong, yet tender. I admire ye,” Lady Anisette said with a smile.
“I’m nothing worth admiring,” Arabella said, looking down again. She couldn’t believe a woman like Lady Anisette would speak so highly of her. Nevertheless, yet she soaked in the compliment.
“Ye are a fine lass. Honestly, Arabella, I am so glad to have met ye,” she replied. Arabella felt warmed by the presence of this woman.
They went on to discuss more about life in Edinburgh and how Lady Anisette missed the countryside but needed the company that city life provided. She did not, however, enjoy the presence of so many Hanoverians in her city. It seemed to leave her rather distraught.
For Arabella, the afternoon turned out to be the best way she could have spent her time. As much as she had enjoyed seeing Francis in the morning, it was these connections with wise women that she knew would help her to grow.
Lady Anisette also showed Arabella some of her stitch work and gave her advice that Arabella took to heart. Being that she loved to sew, it was good advice.
Love Saves A Highland Spy: Ladies of Dunmore Series (A Medieval Scottish Romance Story) Page 11