by Desiree Day
Ms. McKenzie held out her left hand. On it a two-carat diamond ring glittered. “See this,” she said while wiggling her finger. “Young ladies, if you lose weight, you’ll catch someone who’d give you one of these. And guys, if you lose weight, you just might be lucky enough to find a lady like me to give a ring to.”
“I don’t freakin’ believe this.” Jessica heard Samantha mutter.
“I’m going to pass out a list of approved foods that you are allowed to eat. If you deviate from this list, I’ll know it,” she said as she tapped her nose.
Three hours later Jessica found herself in the cafeteria. She looked for Tamia but didn’t see her. She carried her tray of yogurt, fruit and skim milk, all from the approved food list, to an empty table in the corner.
“I see you found my favorite table.”
Jessica looked up to find Samantha standing over her.
“Yeah, I used to sit in the corner at my old school. That way I was invisible. Can I sit down?” she plopped down before Jessica could answer. “Gurl, that teacher is a trip. I’m talking about four weeks long.”
“I know,” Jessica readily agreed. “Can you believe her? Ummm those aren’t approved foods,” she said after seeing Sam pull out ribs, macaroni salad and sweet potatoes from her insulated lunch bag.
Samantha shrugged. “Don’t know and don’t care.”
“Oink, oink, oink!” Darryl taunted as he and his friends passed their table.
“It’s him again.” Jessica’s face burned and she hung her head. “Just like the old school.”
“Don’t you dare hang your head,” Samantha said to Jessica. “Come back and say that to our faces!” she called after Darryl and his crew. They stopped and turned on their heels.
“Oh oh! They’re coming back.” Jessica shrank against the brick wall.
“I’m ready.”
“Are you going to fight them?”
Samantha squared her shoulders. “Hell yeah! They can’t go around insulting people; this is the twenty-first century. People don’t take shit anymore. I’ll beat ‘em down.”
“What happen if they have guns? This is the twenty-first century,” Jessica whispered as the boys got closer.
Fear flickered across Samantha’s face. “Then I’m in trouble aren’t I?” she answered while determination replaced fear on her face. “I’m not going to back down. It’s the first day of school Jessica, if I back down now, then that’s giving them permission to bully me for the rest of the year. And I’m not about to let that happen.”
Jessica breathlessly watched as Darryl and his friends closed the space between them and Samantha. Although they were about as thin as Nicole Ritchie on a good day, Darryl and his friend couldn’t have weighed more than Samantha, but they were still boys. And boys were sneaky.
The boys were nearly to them when Mr. Jones, an English teacher, cut them off at the pass.
“You two come with me. It’s just the first day of school and already you two are in trouble. Five people reported seeing you two running out of the locker room. Right after Coach Dobbs found his underwear sewn up and filled with chocolate pudding.”
“That wasn’t us,” Darryl protested. “How can you fill somebody’s underwear with chocolate? It’s impossible.”
Mr. Jones shook his head. “Not impossible at all. Sew the leg openings closed; sneak in bowls of chocolate, it’s a done deal. Come with me.”
Samantha looked fiercely at the boys as they were being led away. She relaxed her stance and Jessica released a breath of air.
“Wow! You’re strong.”
“Because I live by one motto,” Samantha admitted.
“What?”
“Fat bitches rule. Remember that and everything else is gravy,” Samantha said confidently.
Jessica frowned. “I don’t like that word bitch…it’s so…” she said fumbling for words.
“Empowering?”
“No.”
“Real?”
“In your face?”
“No!”
“Divaish?” Samantha asked puzzled, she and her friends used the word all the time.
“No no no! It’s derogatory,” Jessica said, finally finding the word she wanted.
“No no no!” Samantha retorted, mocking Jessica. “It can be derogatory. But I look at it as empowering, very real, and in your face, but not derogatory. I guess it’s the diva in me. Remember girl fat bitches rule! Remember that and your life will be a piece of cake.”
“No! I hate that word,” Jessica persisted. “Let’s say chubby chicks rule!”
Samantha shrugged. “I’ll think about it.”
Chapter 2
Jessica squinted at her alarm clock, two o’clock stared back at her, her growling stomach had woken her up. “Everybody should be sound asleep.” She pushed back her covers and slipped her feet inside her slippers. Grabbing her robe, she shrugged into it and padded across the room to her door. Opening her door she stood in the corridor. “Should I walk or take the elevator?” she mulled out loud. The house she had grown up in was four stories high and bigger than the White House. With its seven bedrooms, eight bathrooms, media and exercise rooms, wine cellar, indoor and outdoor pools, bowling alley and hair salon, the mansion was jaw dropping. “Walk,” she decided.
It took her about three minutes to make her way through her house to the kitchen. She noiselessly moved through the kitchen as she plucked a plate, knife and fork from the dishwasher. “All set. And there you are.” Sitting on the granite counter top, on a Waterford crystal cake plate was a triple chocolate cake with devilishly fudge frosting. “Come here baby.” She reverently handled the cake as though it was a pair of Pradas heels and set it on the table. Her eyes sparkled and her mouth filled with water. “You’re almost too beautiful to cut,” she said softly. “I’ll take just a little bit,” she decided then cut a sliver. Settling in her chair, she took her first bite.
“Delicious,” she moaned, this was her first taste of chocolate in over a week, and it tasted better than her favorite snack, Doritos wrapped in bacon. “Just a little more.” She cut a second chunk and inhaled it. She cut a third hunk and vacuumed it up. She cut a fourth wedge and sucked it up. Thirty minutes later the cake plate was as clean as Bruce Willis’s head.
“Oh no! I can’t believe I did that!” With the taste of chocolate still kissing her lips she raced out of the kitchen and up to her bedroom.
Jessica, Samantha and Matt sat the bleachers watching the football team practice, it was after school and none of them were interested in doing their homework. All wore light jackets and hats to protect them from the cool fall air. Ever since Ms. McKenzie’s, secretly called The Mack, class the three had fallen into a friendship and hung out together whenever possible.
“Tell me again why you aren’t playing,” Samantha asked Matt. “You’re big enough.”
Matt rolled his eyes. “Bad knees.”
“Oh,” Samantha answered and gave him a look out of the corner of her eyes. “I guess you’d better drop a few pounds then, huh?”
“Yeah, just like you, huh?” Matt quipped.
“I’m voluptuous,” Samantha retorted.
“Can we just focus on the practice,” Jessica said. Since their meeting, Samantha and Matt snipped at each other more than Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton.
They were silent while they watched the football team practice. Jessica noticed that occasionally Matt’s eyes would dart in the direction of the cheerleaders.
As soon as practice ended one of the players rushed up the bleachers to them.
He and Matt greeted each other and Matt introduced them. “Hey this is my boy Marco.” Matt nodded toward Jessica and Samantha. “This is Jessica and Sam.”
Jessica couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was gorgeous. Marco was over six foot, glossy black hair, white teeth and had a tan in the fall.
“Hi there,” Samantha gushed. “You guys were awesome.”
Matt rolled his eyes, he was used to girls
flirting with his friend. Ever since Marco’s voice deepened, started working out and began playing football, girls began chasing after him as though he had just signed a multi-million dollar NFL contract.
Jessica’s mouth dropped open. What is Samantha doing? Flirting? I like him!
“Thanks,” Marco said grinning at Samantha.
“I-um-um-um-thought you guys, I mean you. I thought you were great,” Jessica stuttered. And she felt her face burn with embarrassment when she realized that until two minutes ago she wouldn’t have been able to pick him out on the field.
Marco flashed his dentist perfected smile and her breath caught in her throat. “I know exactly what you meant and thanks.” He turned toward Matt. “Ready?”
Matt nodded. “Are you two going to be all right getting home?” he asked them both, but his eyes were on Jessica.
“We’ll be okay,” Samantha reassured him. Two pairs of eyes watched them as they lumbered away.
Jessica grabbed Samantha’s hands. “He’s so cute!” she whispered excitedly as soon as the boys were out of hearing distance.
“You should tell him,” Samantha said. “Come on, let’s go.” They walked the around the field and out onto the street, where they hurried to the bus stop. Moments later they stood at the corner, the bus was expected in any minute.
“I can’t tell him that. He’d laugh at me,” Jessica finally said as she tightened her scarf around her neck.
Samantha shook her head, perplexed. “Why Jessica? Why would he do that?”
Jessica pursed her lips and stared at her friend. “Because I’m fat, that’s why.”
“Would you laugh at Matt if he told you that he liked you?”
“Of course not,” Jessica huffed. “Besides he doesn’t count. That’s Matt, our buddy Matt.”
“But still…you wouldn’t laugh, right?”
“Right!” Jessica confirmed.
“So why would Marco laugh at you?”
“First of all he isn’t my friend, and he’s fine! He’s way out of my league. He could have any girl he wanted, even a cheerleader.”
“And you could have any boy you want,” Samantha insisted. “Stop doing that to yourself!”
“What?”
“Selling yourself like you’re a used pair of Marc Jacobs jeans. You’re so much better.”
“I guess.”
“You are. But he is cute!”
“Yeah, and you were so flirting with him!”
“Only flirting. I don’t want him. I saw you were crushing on him.”
“You saw. Oh no! You think he saw it too.”
“Heck naw! Boys don’t notice that kind of stuff. You’re cool.”
“Whew!”
“So when are you going to tell Marco that you’re crushing on him?”
“Oh, I can’t.”
“Yeah you will. And by the end of the school year. He’s going to know how you feel about him. Come on, I’m going to show you exactly how.”
Just then the bus pulled up and they stepped on.
Chapter 3
“Size five,” Jessica guessed.
“Hell naw, I think she’s a three. Look, she doesn’t even have a butt,” Samantha retorted.
“You can still be a size five with a butt.”
“Show me one.”
Stumped Jessica continued to look around the food court. They were in the mall relaxing after a day of shopping. She and Samantha were playing their guess the clothes size game.
“Zeros,” they both said simultaneously as two girls the size of toothpicks strolled by. “I bet they hardly eat a head of lettuce between them,” Samantha scoffed. “Does it ever bother you?” she quietly asked.
“What?”
“Being obese?”
“I’m not obese!” Jessica protested.
“According to the charts you are.”
Jessica shook her head. Obese were the people who weighed over five hundred pounds and can’t make it to the bathroom on their own. Or people who were candidates for stomach stapling. Like her cousin Sue, who was only twenty-five-years-old but was so big that she couldn’t walk five steps without running out of breath. “I’m not obese,” she insisted.
“Girl get out of that river of denial, because you have it big time. Admit it, you got some junk in the trunk. You’re not morbidly obese but face it we’re big girls. We’re no zeros.”
“And I don’t want to be!” Jessica snapped.
“Cool it, Jessica.”
“I’m sorry. I am big, I’m overweight, I know that. And I hate it. I truly do. It’s as if I don’t exist. The boys don’t like me. I can’t find any cute clothes. I’m not Jess. A Jessica yes, but not Jess.”
“Huh?”
Jessica turned a sad gaze on her friend. “Jessica is somebody’s mother’s name. When you hear the name Jessica you might get a fifty-year-old or a five-year-old. But with Jess, you just know that you’re going to get some bouncy cheerleader type. Someone like Tamia. I’m not a Jess.”
“Who the hell made that rule? Of course you can be a Jess. You can be a Jess, a Desiree, a Courtney, a Morgan any damn person you want, because you’re just as beautiful as every one else. So you’re a Jess,” Samantha said firmly.
“But when I look in the mirror I don’t see Jess. I see big fat Jessica,” she protested.
“But when I look at you I see Jess,” Samantha told her, her voice strong.
“Well, you’re blind.”
“No, you are.” She suddenly smiled and reached for her purse. She rummaged around for a couple seconds before, pulling out a hand mirror, she handed it to Jessica. “Take a look in that. And if you tell me you don’t see a Jess, I’m going to walk away from you.”
Jessica tentatively looked in the mirror and studied her reflection all she saw was a blob. Where are you Jess? She set the mirror on the table. “I don’t see the person you see. I want to, I really do, but I don’t.”
“You’re not looking hard enough,” Samantha insisted.
“I am too,” Jessica said.
“I’m not going to argue with you. All I can say is that one day you’ll see her,” Samantha said confidently. Suddenly a huge grin the size of Alaska spread over her face.
Jessica turned around and followed her friend’s gaze. Swaggering toward them was a boy barely five three and less than one hundred and forty pounds.
“Here comes my baby,” Samantha practically cooed.
Her baby? “Who’s that?”
“My boyfriend!” Samantha announced.
“Boyfriend? Since when did you get a boyfriend?”
“Since yesterday, isn’t it exciting?” Before Jessica could answer, the young man made it to their table. Samantha threw her arms around him and Jessica could’ve sworn that the poor guy took a deep breath before having his face smashed against Samantha’s chest. “This is Sean,” Samantha exclaimed after he pulled out of her grasp.
Jessica reached out her hand, like the way her etiquette coach had taught her years ago. “Hi, I’m Jessica.”
Sean looked dumbly at her hand for a second before taking it. “Yo whaddup? Sean.”
“Let’s sit down.” Samantha grabbed his hand and they sat down with Samantha practically sitting on this lap.
“So where did you two meet?” Jessica asked, curious.
“At school, we’re doing that English thing together,” Sean answered.
“We’re in the same English class,” Samantha clarified with a giggle. “I couldn’t ignore him, he sits right next to me.”
“Did you want to ignore me baby?” Sean asked as he gently nudged Samantha in the ribs.
“Hell naw! You’re too fine for any girl to be ignoring.”
“Thanks babe. Hold on, I need to get something to eat.”
Samantha sidled out the way as Sean sauntered over to the counter to get his food.
“What are you doing Sam?” Jessica hissed as soon as Sean was out of earshot.
Samantha scrunched her face in
confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Him!” Jessica jutted her chin at Sean. “You just met him and now you’re acting like his wifey.”
Samantha narrowed her eyes and cocked her head. “His wifey huh? I’m vibing him and he’s vibing me. What’s wrong with that?”
“There’s nothing wrong. But don’t you think you’re moving too fast. You guys met yesterday and now you’re sitting on his lap like he’s your man. That’s crazy.”
“Sometimes you just know when you met your soul mate.”
Jessica’s eyes widened to the size of DVDs. “He’s your soul mate? I thought people got soul mate status after knowing each other at least seventy-two hours.”
Samantha smacked her teeth. “Forget you.”
“Forget you!” Jessica shot back as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the crowd.
They were silent for a second, then: “Do you think we make a cute couple?”
“Well…” Jessica hedged.
“Well what?”
“You won’t get mad will you?”
“How do I know? If you say something stupid then I’m going to get mad.”
“Then I’m not going to say anything then.”
“Gheesh, you’re such a White girl, always acting like a wimp.”
“I’m not White, I’m bi-racial.”
“Show your Black side and woman up.”
Jessica took a deep breath and said, “You guys looked off balance.”
“Off balance?”
“You’re bigger than he is,” Jessica squeaked.
“So now you’re hating on him because he’s smaller than me? That’s crazy Jessica.”
“I’m not hating on him. You asked me how I felt and I told you. Don’t get mad.”
“Well, I’m mad!” Samantha yelled. “How dare you say something so stupid! I’m leaving. I’m going to spend some time with my little boyfriend.” She whirled on her heel and stalked toward Sean.
“Samantha! Sam!” Jessica called to her friend’s back. “Come back. I’m sorry.”