by Joy Elbel
“But there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to see her, Clay. I think Sophie is dead.”
38. The Mother of All Revelations
Clay immediately became crestfallen—his smile faded, the twinkle in his eye disappeared. I shouldn’t have waited until we got to Ohio to tell him. One more thing to add to my list of “shouldn’t haves”.
“But…but…when? How? Did the baby die too?” I didn’t have all of the answers. In fact, I only had one. “She died about seven months after you did, Clay, but I don’t know how. The obituary I found only said that she died at home. There was no reference to cause of death or mention of the baby at all. There wasn’t a picture of her or anything so I’m not even certain that it was your Sophie Wester.”
“Did it say how old she was? Did it give the date she was born? August 22, 1995. Bring that obituary up on your phone and see if that’s the birthday it gives.”
He leaned up between the seats to get a better look as I searched for the information. As my phone processed the request, I held my breath and prayed that it wasn’t the right person. When the results finally popped up, I exhaled in one long depressing sigh. The birthdays matched.
Clay sunk back against the seat in disbelief. “I can’t believe this. Sophie’s gone. I’ll never get to see her again. And the baby—not the baby, too!” He buried his head in his hands and began to quiver.
“You don’t know that for sure, Clay. The baby could definitely still be alive. Don’t give up hope. Rita and I talked about this and we both agreed that even if we don’t find Sophie’s spirit today, that only means that she has moved on and is probably waiting for you to do the same.”
“Yeah, maybe,” he replied with zero enthusiasm and said nothing else. When we pulled up to the address listed for Sophie in her death notice, butterflies began to form in my stomach. Giant ones. And they felt more like moths. Big, disgusting, furry moths clambering over each other to get to the light. I could only begin to imagine how terrible Clay felt inside.
Rita quickly gave us the plan. “We can’t just walk up and ask questions about their dead daughter and tell them that her also dead boyfriend is with us, too. So, we are going to ring the bell and ask for directions and see what happens from there.
With a quick head nod from Clay and me, we all got out of the vehicle and began the awkward trek up the walk. Please let us find her! Please let this help Clay find peace! Even if my situation was far from resolved, I still wanted his to be put to rest. My misery no longer wanted company.
The chime of the bell brought with it the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. A man in his forties opened the door a tiny crack and peeked out at us.
“How can I help you?” he said with a tone that suggested he wasn’t interested in helping us at all. Rita took the driver’s seat on this mission and I was more than happy to let her. “Hi. My daughter and I were looking for Pendleton University and the GPS led us here. Since I obviously no longer trust that stupid thing, could you please point us in the right direction?”
I was impressed with her ability to lie. I never could have thought of something that believable so quickly and delivered it so easily. My “best” effort to date was convincing Shelly that salt repelled spiders. She had to be super gullible for me to sell her that line.
Mr. Wester’s demeanor changed dramatically. “Oh, I hate technology! We need to go back to the days when people used maps—they were always accurate. You’re quite a bit off track. Come on in and I will write down some directions for you.”
Wow. My hat’s off to the ultimate queen of liars. Not only did he buy the story, he was inviting complete strangers into his home. As he swung the door wide to allow us inside, I saw something incredible. I saw a tiny child who looked exactly like Clay. I knew the instant that Clay saw him too for he let out a gasp and exclaimed, “That’s my son! And there’s Sophie!”
Where? I couldn’t see a thing but Rita could. When Mr. Wester wasn’t looking, she pointed to the couch and waved. I took another look but all I saw were throw pillows. Clay sat down on the couch and—from my perspective anyway— hugged thin air. I was disappointed that I couldn’t see her but at least Clay could. That was the most important—the only important—thing I suppose. But I was definitely disappointed. Definitely.
I wasn’t very good with kids but I approached the small boy with curiosity. He had the same shade of dirty blond hair, the same blue eyes. He was even wearing a red shirt and jeans, playing with a toy truck on the floor. Just like I imagined his daddy did at his age. Mr. Wester noticed my interest in the boy and commented.
“That’s my grandson, Clayton. He’s such a good little boy. It’s a shame that he will never know his own mother.” Or his father, either I thought but I didn’t say it. “Oh I’m sorry, what happened to her?” I asked casually but I was about to burst out of my skin in anticipation of his reply. I wasn’t used to not being able to see or hear ghosts. I felt totally out of the loop on this one. Clay and Rita didn’t seem interested in what Mr. Wester had to say next, probably because Sophie had already detailed her demise to their receptive ears.
“She died from a blood clot a few days after he was born. It formed in her leg and went straight to her heart. They told us she died instantly in her sleep. Her mother and I decided to raise the baby ourselves, of course. Sophie was our only daughter.”
I saw the tears forming in his eyes and thought about my dad and how he must have felt when my mom and sister died. Death was so cruel to the ones it left behind. Was I going to be left behind soon, too?
Rita thanked Mr. Wester for the directions and she and I walked out of the house. Clay stayed behind. This was it. My time with Clay was over now. I hoped that he would at least come outside to say his final goodbye. If I’d realized that he wasn’t coming home with us, I would have had that conversation with him earlier. Of course, my mind wandered back to Zach then. If I’d realized the last time I talked to him could be the last time, I would have said more—a lot more. Great. More regret.
As Rita was pulling out of our parking spot, I looked out the window and saw Clay standing in the middle of the street. I was going to get a proper goodbye after all.
“Stop, Rita! You’re about to run over Clay!”
Rita jerked the car into park and Clay got into the backseat.
“Not so fast, Hot Pants! I have something to tell you before you go.” I wasn’t just going to get a proper goodbye—I was going to get the best news I’d ever received in my life. By helping Clay, I’d helped myself even more.
“I can’t thank you enough for this, Ruby! Did you see my son? He looks just like me! And Sophie, isn’t she beautiful?” “Yes, Clayton is absolutely adorable! But as for Sophie, I’ll have to take your word for it. I wasn’t able to see or hear her.”
He seemed shocked at first then oddly enough, happy. “You couldn’t hear her? That means I get to give you the good news myself then?”
“What good news?” What kind of good news could Sophie have for me? “Sophie told me why she was still earthbound and it pertains to you. Mothers who die automatically stay here to watch over the children they’ve left behind. Your mom’s been with you all along—you just aren’t allowed to see her.”
A warm tingle engulfed my body as every square inch became covered in goose bumps. I often wondered why I was able to see ghosts from years ago but not my very own mother. I assumed that she crossed over and was totally out of my reach. But to hear that she had been with me the whole time left me flabbergasted. I may have been losing Clay but I was gaining my mom.
He and I exchanged a tearful goodbye as he told me that he had chosen to stay here in Ohio. I knew it was coming but it was still hard to hear. We attempted an awkward hug but it didn’t go so well.
“I’m going to miss you, Clay. You’re the best ghost ever.”
“I’m going to miss you, Ruby. You’re the best ghost whisperer ever.” He gave me one last wink and walked away. Rita turned up t
he radio on the way home and left me to my thoughts which were terribly conflicted. How could I be so happy and yet so sad at the same time? I felt like I was being torn into a thousand emotional pieces. To make matters worse, I was still burdened with the fear that the worst was yet to come.
39. The Pit and the Pendulum
Prom. The day I’d been dreading for some time now had finally arrived. While every other girl in school was happily getting her hair done professionally, I sat on my bed staring at the mermaid costume with my straggly locks in a ponytail. I didn’t want to go. Especially not without Zach. But Shelly said something to me that made me feel like I had to go, regardless.
“I didn’t really want to go to my prom, either. It made me think of how my biological mom threw me in a dumpster on prom night like I was nothing but garbage. But then my adoptive mom talked to me about it. She reminded me that she was my mother now and that she wanted to see her beautiful daughter forget about all of the bad things in her life and enjoy herself for one night.”
I would have thought she was only trying to guilt me into going for my mom’s sake but I hadn’t shared Clay’s revelations with either of my parents yet. I would eventually tell them but it was a secret I wanted to keep to myself for a little while. It was a secret between me and my mom and it was sacred. So, like it or not, I was going to the prom. Dressed as a mermaid.
Because the dress was so hideous, I had zero concern for how the rest of me looked. I had no date but at least I was being spared the embarrassment of walking in alone. Rachel and Boone were picking me up so that I didn’t have to drive myself, either. I waited until the last possible moment to put that ugly rag on. Shelly insisted on doing my hair and makeup and I didn’t feel like arguing. In fact, when I looked in the mirror and saw that she’d left my hair in its naturally curly state, I was totally indifferent. Without Zach on my arm, nothing else mattered.
As I rummaged through my purse for the essentials I would need to transfer to my silver evening bag, I once again came across the stone that reminded me of Zach. I kept forgetting to get rid of it. I still intended to toss it away but for tonight, I wanted it with me. I needed memories of him now more than ever. With a sigh, I dropped it in and headed downstairs for one last thing before my ride showed up.
We had already decided to stop off at the hospital to see Zach before making our way to the school. I wasn’t wearing any flowers of my own, but I wanted him to have one. He wouldn’t be in a tux but I could still tuck a rose into his hospital gown. It would make me feel like he was there in spirit with me even if I was telling myself a lie.
While I was in the conservatory trying to choose the perfect bud to cut, my dad walked in with his camera. I was going to have a hard time smiling for the obligatory photos—a very hard time.
“Please don’t make me stand here pretending to be happy for long, Dad. Just take one or two. I’m not going to want to remember this night anyway.”
“I know tonight is nothing like how you wanted it to be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have a good night,” he said as he positioned me where he wanted me for the first photo. He held the camera up and I plastered a fake smile on my face. I held it there for a while but he never took the photo. Instead, he lowered the camera and said, “Stay right where you are—I’ll be back in a minute.”
I allowed my facial muscles to relax. There was a limit to how long I could pretend not to be miserable. A few minutes later, he returned with Shelly and a black velvet box. “Here. This is for you,” he announced as he opened the lid to reveal an absolutely stunning emerald necklace. Before I had a chance to tell him that he shouldn’t have spent so much money on something I would never wear again—it was gorgeous but it was still green, after all—he explained further. “It belonged to your mother.”
The goose bumps came back as Shelly pulled my hair to the side and fastened it around my neck. The secret I uncovered in Ohio no longer felt like mine to keep so I told them both what I now knew about my mom.
Shelly let out a small gasp and reached for the tissues. Dad got a faraway look in his eyes then promptly began glancing around the room as though he were searching for a trace of her.
“I want to hear more about her—not tonight—but someday soon.” Carefully, I touched the emerald in hopes of feeling her energy. Just like with the chunk of pink quartz, I felt nothing but the smooth, polished surface of the stone between my fingers.
“I’ll tell you everything I knew about her. I’ve been waiting for the right time to give you this necklace. I know it isn’t your color but I think you’ll grow to love it just as much as she did.”
“I already do,” I said, throwing my arms around my dad’s neck and giving him a tearful hug. “I already do.” The smiles in the photos he took were real now. If I couldn’t take Zach to the prom, at least I knew I had Mom by my side. This was the weirdest prom night ever. I was still miserable but oddly at peace with it when I climbed into the backseat of Boone’s car and set out for the hospital.
Placing that rose in the folds of Zach’s hospital gown was one of the saddest moments of my life. It was like a physical sign that I’d given up on him ever participating in life again. And as long as he wasn’t participating, I didn’t want to either. But I had to because life wasn’t going to stop for me while I waited for Zach. I kissed his forehead and whispered “I love you” before leaving for the high school.
Back in Trinity, proms were held at luxury hotels. In Charlotte’s Grove, the cafeteria doubled as a ball room for the night. I had so many bad memories in that cafeteria—both real and in dreams—that the sight of it all decked out as an enchanted forest took me by surprise.
It was completely transformed. The doorway was framed by two large trees that stood guard to the wondrous new world within. The vibrant greens of the leaves were magnificent; the silvery complement. Everything barks of the trees the perfect matched my dress and I got the
feeling that I could hide anywhere in here and not be found. On a night like tonight, blending in was priority number one. I didn’t want to socialize even on a good day but tonight there seemed to be no escaping it. Once the rumor about how I revived Zach went viral, people didn’t seem to be as afraid of me anymore—so much so that I forgot to check for buckets of pig’s blood hidden amongst the fake foliage decorating the ceiling. I received numerous compliments on my dress and issued a half-hearted thank you every time. There was of course one person at that dance that would never tell me I looked good until the day I was under the guillotine with my head in a blood-soaked wicker basket.
Misty. There she was on Kody Kirk’s arm wearing my signature color. Of course, she picked the sluttiest dress ever sewn by human hands but what fabric there was was a deep, ruby red. Was that disappointment I saw on her face when she caught her first glimpse of the color I was wearing? Yes, yes it was. She’d been trying to out-Ruby me but I accidentally foiled her plans. Good. I needed to send that dress shop a thank you card for their fortuitous mix up.
We spent way too much time at the hospital so the dance was well under way by the time we arrived. Boone and Rachel took an unenthusiastic twirl around the floor then he offered to be my partner for the next song and I accepted. It was terrible. Boone was nowhere near as coordinated on the dance floor as he was on the football field. It wasn’t like dancing with Zach who seemed to anticipate my moves and coordinate with me perfectly. Nothing was as good without Zach but at least for now, I needed to get used to that.
The three of us sat down at an out of the way table and tried to eat. The food was good but it was obvious that something—someone—was missing. Even Boone’s notorious appetite wasn’t what it should have been. The number of finger sandwiches he consumed didn’t even equal a full hand’s worth. We sat there in silence for a while, all contemplating the same thing.
“Well, I don’t know about you girls but I’m not having any fun and this tux is driving me nuts. How much longer do you want to stay?”
�
�Let’s go,” I exclaimed as I leapt from my seat and grabbed my bag from the empty chair next to me. I didn’t want to be the one to drag everyone else down but if they were already down with me, it was time to leave.
“I was thinking the exact same thing,” Rachel said as she flung her shawl around her shoulders. The music had stopped and the once crowded dance floor was now practically empty giving us a clear shot at the door. If one of Boone’s friends hadn’t stopped him to say a longwinded hello, we would have already been in the parking lot for the next big shock of the evening.
The music stopped so that Principal Lascher could announce this year’s prom king and queen. Great. Now I was going to have to watch them put a crown on Misty’s head before the whole school donned sacrificial robes and bowed down to their evil goddess. This was a moment I could have done without.
I tried to block out every word of his speech and I was successful until he got to the dreaded words “Misty Landrum”. She wasn’t shocked in the least bit. I didn’t want to watch her claim her crown but my eyes wouldn’t look away. It was one more bit of proof that life simply wasn’t fair. She was mean and hateful. Instead of the silvery crown adorned with leaves and flowers, she deserved a halo of barbed wire. Now I really wanted to go home.
Misty took her seat in the green velvet throne with a smug look on her face and beckoned Kody to join her. As he was about to sit down, Principal Lascher spoke hushed words directly into his ear and Kody instead stood obediently behind Misty’s chair. With an irritated look on her face, she barked out to Principal Lascher, “The king is supposed to sit with the queen. That’s just how it goes.”
“Not this year—this year is special,” he announced through the microphone. This year we have a tie. We have enough crowns but only two thrones.”
Misty went from irritated to furious. I, however, began to smile. She was being forced to do something she had no interest in doing—share the spotlight. While the second royal couple was probably only Jordyn and her escort, I still found it hilarious. Looks like the karma bus finally found Misty’s address. Then I laughed the first real laugh since the day Zach got shot. Maybe life was more fair than I originally thought.