by Simone Elise
God. Why.
His hand brushes my bare leg under the table and I want to run, like away and hide from this mess.
Kace takes a sip of his beer, and my eyes drop to his tattooed fingers. The feelings that flood my body when he used to touch me, come to mind. But then I remind myself, that I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t have enough money. And now he comes back into the picture, after I have established a business?
Fuck him. And I sip my wine. While giving myself a pep talk.
“So Ivy,” Elle looks at me across the table. “This weekend, which club?”
I frowned. “Have we been to the crown this month?”
“No! We haven’t! Come to think of it Devin will be there.” Elle grins and I smirked taking the wine from my lips.
“His fantasies are easily manipulated.”
“His face was priceless when you…” And her words dried up as she realized and I already knew that the story she was going to mention wasn’t table friendly. “Not dinner appropriate story.” She says exactly what I was thinking.
“Surprised if Gabe and I don’t know it.” Kace speaks for the first time since arriving, well apart from that line he gave me when I left. “Was it on snapchat?” and he sips from his beer.
“You follow our snapchat?” I turned to look at him.
“I think most of the population does.” Kace looked me in the eyes. “What can I say most people don’t have a life.”
“And you are most people?”
He shrugs, and I’m immediately regretting half the shit I had done. Because strangers had been watching. Not people I know!
“Been awfully quiet from the two of you today.” Kace says and is still holding my eyes. “Not like Ivy and Elle to go quiet.”
“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Elle said rolling her eyes.
I inhaled sharply and have more of a reason to stay off it now.
“Well I’m all for that shit stopping.” Gabe said while glaring at a carrot. “Who puts carrots in a stir fry? Oh wait. My sister’s.” He drops the fork. And looks at Kace. “I’m ordering in, you want something?”
Kace nods his head and gets up following Gabe back to the couch. I frown looking down at the stir fry. The days that followed our breakup flash through my mind. The pain. The questions. I blinked as tears came to my eyes and push myself away from the table. I can’t do this. Not tonight. I’m not strong enough.
“Ivy where you going, I just ordered pizzas?” Gabe steps in my path. I look him in the eyes. “Shit are you okay?” he goes to touch me, and I swipe his hand away from me and leave the room in tears because that pain, that burning unknowing of what had I done for Kace to walk out on me, was still there and it still hurts.
32
Kace
I lit up a cigarette in Elle’s guest bedroom, even though she told me to smoke on the balcony. My phone buzzes and it is a notification. The girls were on snapchat again. I sighed. I had hoped Ivory had given it up once she realized people she knew were watching it.
I can’t stop myself from opening the app. It had been two days since I had seen her. She disappeared and according to Gabe had been crying. I went to her bedroom door after she left but couldn’t bring myself to knocking, knowing she was crying, those tears would be my fault.
I saw it was a video, and it was of Ivory, even though her and Elle were twins. I could tell them apart. Even when Ivory had dropped everything that made her, her.
“Ivory!” Elle shouts and then zooms in on a figure. I frown watching it. They weren’t at home I knew that much.
Ivory hadn’t been home for days.
It skips to the next video and this one is clear. Of Ivory on a floating donut in a pool. My mind goes back in time when she asked me if I had pool toys.
Ivory waves to the camera and then the donut and her in it, is flipped by a male. And he looks extremely pleased with him.
“Devin stop bullying my sister!” Elle shouts.
But I watched Devin approach her, and I clench my phone. I had seen that look in men’s eyes before. When they look at women like sex prey.
I’m torturing myself.
I then notice a clock in the corner, and it says ‘bender lasting 52 hours’. And it is counting up.
Frustrated the video ends. And there is a knock on my door.
I bark a what and it opens. Gabe standing there.
“You seen them?” He is obviously talking about the snapchats.
I just nod my head.
“Well they will be home soon.” He adds and I give him a look. No way those social butterflies are leaving their indoor pool party. “I told them I cut my hand open.”
“Did you?”
“No.” He shrugs like lying to get his sisters to leave a party isn’t below him. He hovers in the doorway. “I’m about to play pool.” He looks at me. I just stare at him and finally put the cigarette between my teeth and sit up grabbing a shirt.
“Yeah, righto Henderson, rack them up.”
So I went downstairs to play a game of pool with Gabe Henderson. Fuck the things I’d do to get this woman back.
33
Ivory
Bursting into the house. I panic, worrying about Gabe. “Did he say how bad?” I look at Elle and she frowns. “What? Did he?” I snapped at her.
“I swear that is the sound of my pool table.”
I can barely hear anything over the beating of my heart. Because last time Gabe cut his hand open, it involved physiotherapy. I struggle to calm down. So I move through the house, heading for Elle’s entertainment area, only to walk into it and see Gabe playing pool with Kace.
“And he chokes!” Gabe shouts “And lines the eight ball perfectly up for me!”
“You look fine for someone that has cut their hand open.” I growl at Gabe. His eyes don’t even go off his shot, as he lines up to sink the eight ball.
“Yeah about that.” Gabe says, his eyes on the ball, and he sinks it and he straightens up. “Turned out to be a paper cut.” He looked me dead in the eye when he says that. I want to throttle him. Really strangle the life out of him.
“Thank god. You have no idea how panicked Ivy was.” Elle says sitting down on one of the stools. “Can we play doubles? Kace and Ivory against Gabe and I?”
“NO!” I snapped at her.
“Come on Ivy, lighten up.” Gabe has the nerve to say. “Plus Kace could do with some tips, he’s three games down.” Gabe points the pool cue at Kace. “I taught her to play, so really it’s me playing myself.”
I grind my teeth together. I’m not playing. I’m not playing!
“So you taught her to cheat.” Kace states and my furious eyes flash to him.
“I do not cheat!” Gabe and I say at the same time. Gabe and I share a look.
And Kace stares at me. “Prove it.” And his two words, light a fire in me, and I grab a pool cue.
“I’m breaking.” I say.
“Good idea, your partner struggles to break.” Gabe says and I wonder how many games they had played.
I notice Kace roll his eyes. God, I was surprised he hadn’t killed Gabe. Gabe was annoying as fuck when he played pool—he becomes obnoxious.
“Is he normally this annoying?” Kace grits out as Gabe tries to distract him from his shot. And it works, Gabe got in Kace’s head and he misses the obvious shot. Scoring Elle and Gabe to shout burn at the same time.
“You should know, he’s your friend.” I give Kace a pointed look, and he hands me the cue. Turned out Kace was using my cue. So we were sharing.
“Yeah well at least I’m not related to him.” Kace mutters.
“One would hope not.” I say and watch Gabe have a shot. Then when he misses he blames me for looking at him! “You are pathetic Gabe!” I declare to the room.
“It’s not fair. She’s going to finish it now.” Gabe groans.
“She has four balls plus the eight to sink.” Kace said, looking at Gabe, like he had miscounted the balls.
But G
abe knew I had set them up for this moment. So I began to sink them into the pockets. Ignoring Gabe as he darted around the table to distract me from each shot.
I lined the eight. Looking at my brother. “Say the apprentice passed the master?” I mocked him, and he shakes his head. “Well I think our four up proves it.” And then I hit the ball, and it sinks into the corner right pocket. “Game.” I called it.
Kace has a slight smirk on his face. “Didn’t think you’d be carrying the team.” He reached for his beer. “Did Gabe really teach you?”
Gabe is complaining to Elle on the other side of the table, leaving me open for conversation with Kace. And Kace was taking advantage of it.
I just nod my head, not saying a word to him.
“You play much?” He has another attempt at conversation with me.
I just shrugged.
“Thought I was meant to be the one that doesn’t talk much.” He arches his eyebrows at me, waiting for me to bite but I don’t. “Come on Ivory, how long you going to freeze me out?”
As long as there is ice on the north pole. I thought but sipped my beer instead. I was beginning to feel seedy. Hadn’t really slept in a few days and had drank more than I should have. I was a tad unbalanced on my feet, and Kace noticed.
“I’m going to bed.” I put the cue back, and walked out. Not giving Kace another look.
KACE
I lasted another five minutes before I called it a night after Ivory. Fuck Elle and Gabe bickering goes through you. I walked up the stairs and down the hall, pausing at Ivory’s door. And I hear vomiting. I don’t even think twice about it. I just open the door, and see the adjoined bathroom door open.
“Ivory, you okay?” I say, when I walk towards the door.
I hear a faint go away. But like the closed door, I ignore it.
I kneel down beside her, seeing her gripping the towel bowl. She goes to be sick again and I hold back her hair.
She wants to fight me but doesn’t.
“God it’s just vodka and beer.” She mumbles gripping the bowl, as she goes to stand up. And I end up helping her, holding her steady.
She goes to get away from me, and when she does, she trips over her feet, and is that unbalanced she is heading for the ground, when I catch her in my arms.
“Come on darling, just let me help you get to bed.” I don’t want her hurting herself. But she tries to walk again, this time gripping the basin for support instead of me. I watch her go to the cupboard, and she pulls down a box of pills and I realize now, she’s been in a worse state than this.
She throws back mouthwash after brushing her teeth. And then takes two pills with water.
I know there is no reason for me to be standing here. Yet here I am. Standing, looking at the woman I managed to damage.
I can’t stop myself, seeing her in that small dress was doing wild things to me and I need to touch her again, so my hands goes to her hips, and her eyes flash up to the mirror, looking into mine, as her back is against my chest.
So many times I would run through what I would say if she was back in my arms. “Ivory…”
“Don’t.” She cuts me off. “Don’t say something you don’t mean.” She turns in my arms and her hand goes to my chest. “Respect me enough to not lie to me.” And she goes to push me away but she still isn’t steady on her feet, so I don’t back away. She inhales sharply and pinches her eyes shut. “Please just leave me alone.”
It wasn’t her words that makes me take my hands off her. It is her tone. The heart ache in those words, like it was painful for her being near me. So I take a step away from her.
She goes to walk past me and I notice she is slow. So I don’t have to stop her from falling again.
I go to leave, as I watch her go to her bed.
I pause in her doorway. “For the record. I’m sorry Ivory.” And I knew that would never cover it. For leaving her when she was hurt. But it was all I could say. So I said it just before I left the room completely.
34
Kace
I woke up to chaos. Walking down the stairs of Elle’s house, my eyes run over what can only be described as chaos. There were clothes every, lighting poles, people. So many people.
“What the fuck is going on?” Gabe said just walking down the staircase a minute after me. “It’s like we’ve been invaded.” And he wasn’t joking, it seriously looked like that. “Where are the girls?”
Just as he says that Elle comes buzzing down the stairs, holding a makeup brush. “Move boys!” She snapped. “The two of you together are blocking the whole stair way!”
“What’s going on?” Gabe asked a really good question.
“Our studio was pulled last minute and we had to move the shoot here.” She snaps her fingers and Gabe and I step to the side, letting her past.
Gabe sighed. “This must be one of Ivory’s photo shoots for Elle’s label.” He then walked down the rest of the stairs, and walked into the lounge room. By the looks of it they had just finished Ivory’s hair and makeup was being finished when Elle hands the artists a makeup brush.
“Oh my god, who is this?” A photography is looking directly at me. “He’s bad in all the good ways.” She blurts out, stunning me and approaches me. “Do you model?”
Gabe bursts out laughing, and whacks me on the back. “You have fun mate.” And heads for the kitchen. Which was exactly where I had been planning on going when I got out of bed.
The photographer was still looking for an answer.
“No.” I finally response.
“Ivory!” She sings out, “Ivory who is this beast tattooed god?”
I arched my eyebrows at that, which Ivory looked up, having her attention called. Her eyes ran over my shirtless body, I can’t help but notice and then she looks at the photographer.
“His name is Kace,” and that is all she says.
“Well Kace, what do you say to posing with Ivory for some shots on the pool table.” The woman said to me.
“He wouldn’t be interested.” Ivory spoke for me. Then she stands up and I see what she is wearing, or lack thereof.
“What would I have to do?”
“Just upper body shots, really show off those guns of yours.” The photographer grinned. “This,” and she gestures a way between Ivory and I. “is hot and will make news feeds everywhere.”
Ivory’s eyes locked with mine for a moment, and she looked at me like I was hurting her.
“Okay Kace, just follow my cues.” The photographers who I now know as Beth says. “Ivory on the pool table.”
Ivory goes to sit on it, but I grip her and lift her up. Her hands going to my shoulders, like she used to.
“Oh that’s good!” Beth says, and my eyes are locked with Ivory’s.
My hands on her bare skin. Slowly I lower her down to the pool table. Sitting her on the edge. She inhaled sharply, and I barely remember the camera flashing, as our every move is photographed.
I pull her to the edge, locking her between my legs.
Beth is giving us directions, but I was ignoring them. I was just focused on Ivory. I lean in, my mouth going to her ear. “You ready to give them a show?”
She smiles but doesn’t say anything, till I nip her ear lobe, and then I kiss along her jawline. She gasps and I take advantage of her mouth open, nipping her bottom lip.
Her hands were wrapped around my neck, and my other hand is travelling up her back. I barely hear Beth say, that sex sells. All I’m focused on is Ivory. I gripped her arms, and slowly lay her down on the pool table. My mouth going to her stomach, slowly I run my tongue up the centre, and it’s like we are on our own. Her back arches as I get closer to her breasts.
As much as I want to free her from these clothes. I know I can’t because there are cameras on us. The lighting was the only reminder I recognized, the flashing of the camera stopped me from stripping her and fucking her.
I grip her hands pulling her back up, and she is dazzled and then I don’t stop myself, in
one fluent movement, I bring her into my arms, and her lips to mine.
She’s still as I kiss her, till she forgets all the reasons why she shouldn’t be kissing me, and kisses me back. The softest moan, only heard by my ears comes off her, and I was already stiff from seeing her laid out in front of me but hearing that, fuck me.
“Okay and I think I’ve got enough.” Beth says, and Ivory pulls back, her forehead leaning against mine.
“I hate how you make me feel.” She whispers in my face, with this expression that told me it physically hurt her, and I’m shocked. Her words on repeat in my head. I pull away from her, then help her down and my hands are off her.
She hates how I make her feel? Well that sure as fuck wasn’t a good thing. And I only now realize I could be fighting a losing battle. She doesn’t want to feel anything for me, so how the hell can I go against what she wants?
I just walk from the room. For some reasons, her words sting me; and I can’t look at her. So I leave.
35
Ivory
“We have a serious problem.” Elle says walking into the bathroom, and locking eyes with me in the mirror as I take the makeup off from the shoot.
“That being?”
“Kace.”
I remain quiet.
“You two have serious chemistry.” She adds, and grips my shoulders spinning me around. “Tell me you don’t want him back.”
I don’t want him back. I don’t want him near me. I don’t want his hands on my body. I don’t want to feel his heartbeat under my head as I fall asleep. I don’t want it. Instead of saying one of those lines. I tear up.
“And that right there is our serious problem.” Elle has a soft smile on her face. “Ivy did you ever ask him why he left? Perhaps it had nothing to do with money.”
“Come on Elle don’t be stupid. It had everything to do with money.” And I turn back to the mirror taking off the layers of makeup.