by Troy Dukart
Waking up at sunrise, I found an empty couch with Esper sleeping at the foot of it. Zixin was looking out the window while scratching the scarred skin of his left armpit. Losing his arm didn't seem to affect him much, but he had trouble performing basic tasks like tying his shoes. Chief fixed this by giving him some moccasins to wear. One had an eagle stitched on the top, the other a bear.
I walked around looking for Yessa but she was nowhere to be seen. There was a note near the microwave,
Sorry to leave without saying goodbye. Please know that this is something I have to do on my own. Guard our family. I love you Strafe.
XoXo
Yessa.
CHAPTER 2
Strafe
She didn't even let us say goodbye. Esper woke up and ran around searching for Yessa, but couldn't find her. It broke my heart. She cried in her puppy voice throughout the morning. I picked her up and comforted her, “It's okay baby, it's okay. We'll see her again.”
Now I was by myself, to look after our pups, as well as Zixin.
To say her departure didn't hurt would've been a lie, but, things between us wouldn't be the same as before. We had gone through so much, of the unbelievable one may say, that it might have taken a toll on our relationship. Yessa had been victimized while on Eternia, and I can't blame her for protecting herself. It was still hard to take. I wasn't sure if we officially broke-up. We'd been together for almost ten years.
The weather was cold and foggy. The air crisp. I opened the door of our trailer and let the Whiteclouds go hunting. Growing by the day, they soon wouldn't fit inside. Zixin sat wide awake, not his norm this early. He wore the poncho and when he walked out of the bathroom, he cut his hair into a Mohawk style.
“I like it Zixin,” I smiled.
“I like it Strafe,” he repeated.
Side by side we strolled down to the psychologist office for Zixin's appointment. Like Chief Walker's, the waiting room was decorated in Native American artifacts, which Zixin enjoyed. His higher spirits made me happy. The room emanated peace, with the sound of the forest playing through a speaker.
After we waited for about ten minutes, a door opened and out came a woman in a doctor's robe. She had glasses on and her hair tied back. To my surprise, she had green eyes.
“Hello you two, my name is Dr. Yazzie. Nice to meet you,” the woman said.
“Nice to meet you, I'm Strafe Rocknus and this is my brother, Zixin. Thank you for having us,” I said as I shook her hand.
“Nice to... meet us,” Zixin nodded, he stood behind me and grabbed my shoulder.
“Why don't you both come into my office?” she said motioning us inside.
Her room smelled of lavender incense and plants. She kept the lights dimmed. On the walls hung her degrees and pictures of nature. There was a plush chair for her clients to lay in as she talked with them.
“Nice place,” I noted.
“Yes Strafe, I've tried to make it as relaxing as possible. We receive many different people from all walks of life here,” she said.
“Not like me,” Zixin murmured.
“I just want to get to know you today,” Dr. Yazzie observed as she touched his shoulder. Her touch made him flinch.
“Strafe, would you like to stay for the session or come back in an hour when we are done?” she asked me.
“Zixin will be fine by himself, right brother? I'll be in the waiting room on the computer,” I indicated as I pointed to the exit.
“No, don't leave! I don't want to be alone,” Zixin said as he reached for my arm.
I caressed the back of his head and said, “It's no biggie Zixin, she's a friendly person and just wants to ask you some questions. I'll be right in the other room if you need me. Promise.”
Looking distressed, he nodded his head in acknowledgment. I couldn't help but think of the time back in Eternia, right before the Senti attacked Dhefen'Ce. I chuckled a bit because I didn't think a giant SkyShip would come looking for us, this time.
“I'll come to find you when we're done Strafe,” Dr. Yazzie said.
After I exited, she closed the door.
Running my fingers through my hair and over my face to calm down, I sat in front of one of the computers in the lobby. What Yessa told me, about the Space Force, made me curious, so I decided to investigate them for myself.
When I logged onto their website, it reminded me of Star Trek. Recruitment videos popped up right away showcasing the opportunities of joining the newest military branch and what their capabilities were. One part of the video that was pretty awesome, it highlighted these new Space Suits that allowed the user to travel worldwide using satellite lift technology. A human rocket would be the best way to describe it. Super impressive. At the end of it, a virtual assistant's message popped up in the lower corner of the screen and asked me if I wanted to join.
I clicked “no.”
After looking through what the site offered, I came to understand the Space Force was created to maintain the next theater of war. The Air Force had maintained control of all space assets in the past, but in the year 2080, Congress had initiated the new branch to focus specifically on space. It attracted the best and brightest minds and a whole lot of nerds from the looks.
“What did Yessa see in you?” I asked.
With thousands of jobs listed, I couldn't pinpoint to what job she requested. All I knew was she found something out about them that could help her find her parents.
I opened a new tab and searched into what the Federation was up to, and how we could get to them. It had looked as though they were involved with most of the world banks, transportation, and archeological companies. Tricked into trusting them, my dear friend Professor Sighter died from their betrayal. I would never rest until we exposed those bastards, for his sake.
In the last year, some big world events had occurred. Our new President campaigned as a strong pro-military supporter. Nothing wrong with that, as long as the people don't suffer for it. Our politicians have had a history of leaving our schools, healthcare, and roads in dismay to fund the war machine.
Despite the world reduction of military forces globally over thirty years ago, it seemed as though the big players, Russia, China, Iran, the EU, and the US began ramping up their force power and personnel. Article after article I read stated budgets were on the rise in dramatic fashion.
What happened in Eternia, I hoped would stay in Eternia. No one should have to go through what we did.
Starting another search, I found a post talking about a group called The Salvators. Labeled as hacktivists, they fought for what they believed through hacking websites and exposing corruption. They were an underground organization, whose origin and location remained unknown, but they managed to catch the attention of the NSA, CIA, FBI and many foreign equivalents. The Salvators became categorized as “Digital Terrorist” by governments while some people in the media called them “Digital Avengers,” referring to the Marvel comic characters. Seemed like perspective was in the eye of the beholder.
Before I could read any further, the door opened and out came Dr. Yazzie with a very concerned look on her face. I walked over to her.
“How'd it go, doctor?” I asked.
“Unlike anything that's come through before. Zixin has signs of multiple personality disorder, depression and dare I say molestation. I read his file that you sent me, but we've never dealt with this. He kept talking about a dark friend he had,” Dr. Yazzie said.
“Zixin... went through hell. He was possessed by a demon, the dark friend, for over thirteen years. As hard as it is to believe, it's the truth. There's probably nobody in the world like him. Is there anything you can do for him?” I asked.
“He is paying for the sins of others. That is the travesty. I will do the best I can and treat him for the depression first. He told me that when the demon wanted to punish him, he would make Zixin perform, devious acts on himself to say it lightly. Seems like he is fighting a ha
rd battle. He became connected with this, dark friend, at an early age. Zixin will have to muster a lot of determination on his part to recover,” she said.
“I understand he is fragile, and I will do whatever I have to, so he can be whole. No doubt he wants to get better too, no other reason he saved my life back there on the battlefield,” I assured her.
“Depression can be cured through understanding it and finding ways to deal with it Strafe, but this is an entirely new level. Our culture intrigues him, I think it would be wise to get him involved in the community and with our tribal council. This often helps people get better when they are a part of something. They hold many cultural get-togethers which will help Zixin with self-identification. He is yearning to understand where he belongs in this world,” Dr. Yazzie answered.
“Yes, doctor. We will find something he loves. Thank you, and we'll be back tomorrow,” I said.
I got Zixin out of the room and we began to walk back to the community center. Without wrapping my hand around his shoulder, he would wander off.
It was really hard. For both of us.
Resembling a person with Autism at times, but when something got his attention, he acted normal. Who knew what self-talk he had to deal with in his head.
For the next few months, as winter came, I was with Zixin 24/7. The pups grew close to full-sized now and loved playing in the snow. Zixin's Whitecloud still didn't have a name. He didn't care. The pup would snuggle up to him, which Zixin came to enjoy.
Living on the Sky Water reservation gave Zixin some identity. He learned of our history, our old language, and customs. Every once and a while he would smile. I would tell him stories of California, the ocean and mom. That didn't interest him as much as our tribe. Maybe someday he would come to appreciate it. Mom told me she thought of him every day.
Everything was going good in his recovery. He spoke more, engaged with others, he even gave me a hug.
Until I left him alone for two hours one day.
I needed to go to the Chief's office and give a report on Zixin. Usually, I did it online but with the system down I had to drop off the document to him. The damn wind was blowing hard and the snow came down relentlessly. Unfortunately, all of the printers were out of ink except for the library on the far side of the reservation. I called on Goliath to give me a ride over there, which he delighted in.
The townsfolk came to like our Whiteclouds and the K-12 school students adored them. Goliath could give rides to adults as his father could. After making our way through the harsh weather, I got the report printed and handed it into Walker's assistant.
Afterward, I remembered I had to grab groceries. Since Esper and the other pup were still with Zixin, I had thought it would be alright. He liked spaghetti, so I grabbed a few boxes and we made our way back to the trailer.
When I made it back I could see the Whiteclouds outside, trying to claw their way inside. They were pacing back and forth and whining.
Something felt very wrong
They began to nudge Goliath and me towards the door.
“What's the matter?” I asked.
I tried to open it but it was locked.
“Zixin! It's Strafe. Can you open the door?”
No response.
“Zixin! C'mon, let me it!”
Still nothing.
“Damnit!”
Now my instincts began to kick in. Dropping the grocery bag, I tried pushing my shoulder on the door to open it. The lock gave me trouble. Backing up to give myself some room to run, I charged at the door.
“AHHHHH!”
I kicked the door open.
The lights were off and nothing looked out of the ordinary. I didn't see him anywhere. Beneath the bathroom door, a crack of light caught my eye. There was some blood on the floor. As calmly as I could I approached it. I was afraid of what might be on the other side. Had the Federation found us?
Opening the door slowly, I saw Zixin, who had a belt around his neck, hanging from the shower pole. His face pale as the moon.
“OH MY GOD!... NO!!! ZIXIN!!!” I cried.
After pulling off the belt, I checked for a pulse and didn't find one. Immediately I began CPR. My phone was in the other room, but I was too panicked to call 911. I pulled him to the cold floor and began the compressions.
“BREATHE!” I said as loud as I could. Every second dragged on like a minute. I kept going until my arms didn't have any more strength. No pulse, no breathing.
“Zixin, don't leave me. I just got you back,” I whimpered through the tears.
Collapsed over his chest, I cried my heart out. The suicide epidemic we had in the world was something I was aware of, but never the pain of being a survivor. His skin cold. His eyes had no life in them.
He was gone. When I pulled his eyes open, I saw the thousand-yard stare.
In a fit of anger, I slammed my hand on the toilet. The God Blade, which I kept on one of the shelves, fell down on top of him. As it hit Zixin, a small light flickered in the orb and his chest rose. In reaction, he gasped a breath of air before opening his eyes. A true miracle.
“Bro?!” I sobbed.
He looked into my eyes and began to weep into my chest. We embraced each other.
Dr. Yazzie rushed over to our apartment, along with Chief Walker once I found my phone. We made sure to comfort Zixin and let the Whiteclouds know he was fine. The mark around his neck where he attempted to hang himself stood out like a bruise.
She stayed with Zixin. I walked outside with Walker.
“I'm glad you both are safe,” he comforted as he put an arm around me.
“Chief, I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Zixin needs some help, something more than this. I don't think he will survive here much longer,” I sobbed.
Gazing into my teary-eyes, he pulled me close,
“Strafe, you might be right. There is something wrong with him, something deeper than anything that we've ever seen. Not even the spirits of our ancestors that flow through these lands may be able to heal him. Yet, I believe there is another way.”
With my tears wiped away, I looked at him and said, “Which way is that?”
“I heard a story from a nomad who visited here once of a person the likes of which I never heard of before. This person could perform miracles. From people who suffered neglect as children, abuse from their spouse or post-traumatic stress disorder from war, they had the ability to erase memories. It is only a rumor though, and they don't reside here in America,” Walker said.
“Do you know where they are? I'll do anything to help cure my brother,” I urged.
“Seek out this person, whom they called The Holy Draba. They are a monk of Tibetan descent. While not in the highest position in of their Buddhism, the Dalai Lama, The Holy Draba is revered for performing miracle work.”
“Is it easy to find them?”
“That's the problem, they seem to act like a ghost. It is said, they appear to those in times of dire need,” Walker shrugged his shoulders.
“This is exactly who we need to find. Where were they last seen?”
“Somewhere in Tibet. He was last seen at Yungbulakang Palace, years ago. Located in Tsetang, the cradle of their civilization.”
“Then that's where we're going. I will get him to help save my brother.”
CHAPTER 3
Strafe
Once Zixin recuperated, we booked a one-way flight to Tibet.
Chief Walker graciously paid for a private one and gave us some money to last us a few months. His generosity was very moving, and I thanked him for everything he did for us. “Just paying it forward my blood,” he said.
Somehow, we managed to fit Esper, Goliath and “Pup” as I temporarily named him into the plane with us. There was no way we'd ever leave them behind. Brutus's children were family to us; something we didn't have much left of.
The rope mark around Zixin's neck began to fade, but he would rub it occasionally.
His mental health seemed to go up and down. I had my fair share of bad times, nothing like this though. To see him like that killed me. No doubt, he was one of the bravest people I'd ever met. Nobody should ever feel trapped and alone inside themselves.
“Strafe,” Zixin said to me while he looked out the window.
“Yes, bro?” I replied while rubbing Esper.
“Thank you for saving me. I, try so hard. It's not easy to live with this.”
Reaching over, I put my arm around his shoulders, “I would do anything for you Zixin. I would climb any mountain, dive in any sea, and go to whatever length to save you. We will get through this, we are going to make you better.”
Pup nestled up to Zixin and for the first time he gave him a hug. Goliath came over and comforted Zixin as well.
After the long flight, we landed at Lhasa Gonggar Airport. Passports automatically scanned upon arrival. Since Zixin technically hadn't existed on Earth for over twenty years we forged a fake one for him. Once we got out, we thought about getting a taxi but realized we could just ride the Whiteclouds. They delighted in our decision, wolves normally travel 50 miles a day in search of food. Ours could run even further.
Not having the nightmares I did back in Eternia made a world of difference. Every time I went to sleep, I had to worry about what kind of dream I would have to survive. Here, I dreamt peacefully and woke up refreshed. I appreciated that.
The journey to Tsetang was fantastic. The Tibetan landscape felt incredibly spiritual. Hills and valleys stretched out for miles. I rode Goliath and Zixin rode Pup as we followed Esper, with only the nature around us to keep us company. The mountains reminded me of California. Although it was winter here, it wasn't as cold as back in Minnesota.
By night time, we arrived in Tsetang. The buildings and other architecture were noticeably old. Even with all the new technology, they decided to preserve their old ways, despite what happened politically in the 20th century. It was like we stepped back in time. The hotel we booked was built of clay and stone.