They ate a late lunch at an Italian restaurant before making their way back to the Lincoln Memorial. Dani was impressed by all she saw, this being her first time in the Capital. Michael said he'd been here once when he was a child, before Vietnam, before The Wall, but he enjoyed looking at the historical monuments again.
The sun was making its way west as the couple walked down the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and headed back to Constitution Avenue. They caught sight of The Wall again, and Michael stopped.
"Do you want to go back again, before we leave?" Dani asked gently.
Michael slowly shook his head. "No. I'm sure I'll be back for another visit again." He turned to her and smiled warmly. "We'd better get back and catch the last commuter plane before we miss it."
Dani nodded and they made their way, arm in arm, back up the street to hail a cab.
Chapter Thirty-One
The sun had set and the moon shone brightly over the gentle ocean waves as Michael and Dani stepped into the entryway of his home. It was late and everyone was asleep, and there was only a small light on in the entryway when they stepped in. Michael hung up his coat and Dani took hers off and slung it over her arm, he turned the light off and they made their way up the broad staircase bathed in moonlight.
When they reached the door of Dani's room, they stopped a moment, staring at each other in silence. It had been an incredible day for both of them, their emotions and adrenaline running strong. Neither knew exactly how to end such a day.
"Are you tired?" Michael asked her finally.
"A little, not really," she answered, not wanting the day to end.
"We could go in my room and talk for awhile," he suggested.
Dani looked across the moonlit hall to his door, then back at him.
"I promise, I'll behave," he told her, noting her hesitation at his suggestion.
Dani smiled. "Okay, for a few minutes, I guess."
They entered his room and he hurried to turn on a bedside lamp, then walked over to the fireplace that was across from his bed and turned the knob.
"Instant fire again," he said teasingly.
Dani walked over to the small sofa in front of the fireplace and laid her coat over its back. She assessed the room a moment, silently approving the tones of gray and the massive sized furniture. The room suited him perfectly, she thought. It looked...regal. A short laugh escaped her when that word came to mind.
"What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking how well this room suits you and the word 'regal' came to mind. Quite appropriate, don't you think?"
Michael smiled. "Regal room, Regal Coats. Yeah, it seems to fit."
They both sat down on the sofa, facing each other.
"I used to like this room," he told her. "But lately I think it's sort of morbid with all this dark gray and dark furniture."
"No, Michael, it's perfect for you. It's tasteful and unassuming, like you."
Michael tilted his head and stared at her in amazement. "You just called me Michael, not Miguel."
"I did?" Dani thought about it a moment. All day she had been thinking of him as Michael, not Miguel. For the first time ever she was thinking of him as he was now, not as he was years ago. "That's funny," she said finally. "Michael seems to fit you better now."
"Maybe you've just heard it so often from everyone else that you're used to it," he suggested.
Dani shook her head. "No, I don't think so." She paused a moment, thinking. "The way I think of you has changed. I've seen so much change in you over the past few days that it just seems right to call you Michael."
He smiled at her and his eyes sparkled in the firelight. "You know what? I'm going to miss you calling me Miguel. I was getting used to it again."
"Well," she gave him a sideways glance. "Maybe I'll call you that when I'm mad at you, so you won't miss it so much."
They both laughed then, feeling carefree for the first time that day. The deep color of the room seemed to wrap around them in warmth and closeness, like a thick wool blanket feels as you huddle beside a campfire. Michael took Dani's hand in both of his, changing his expression back to the serious look of earlier.
"Thank you for coming with me today," he said sincerely. "I would never have survived today without you being there."
"No. Thank you for taking me. I'm glad I could share today with you. It was very special for me."
"You were there for me when I needed you the most. You always were."
Dani lowered her head, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Not always," she said quietly. "I should have been with you a few months ago, and Vanessa."
Michael placed his hand under her chin and drew her eyes up to meet his. Their blue depths were warm and moist. He could get lost in those eyes forever. "That isn't your fault," he told her firmly. "It was my own fault for not telling you."
"But you did try to tell me, and I wouldn't listen," her voice cracked. "I blew you off when you needed me the most." Two tears trickled down her face. "I wish I could have seen her, one last time."
"Oh, Dani." Michael pulled her close, hugging her tight as he spoke into her hair. "It's not your fault. I hurt you so much in the past; I don't blame you for running from me. You're here now, that's what's important. You're here." He held her close for a long time, feeling the silkiness of her hair brushing against his cheek, smelling her sweetness, not wanting to ever let her go.
And she let him hold her, feeling safe and warm in his arms. When they broke apart, she searched his dark eyes with her own, and their lips met in such passion it surprised them both, but neither tried to break away. They kissed each other hard for a long time and it was Michael who finally came to his senses and pulled away.
"Oh, Dani," he breathed, running his fingers through his thick hair. "I'm sorry. I promised I wouldn't do this. But it's so hard not to touch you." He cupped his hands around her face. "I love you so much," he whispered. "You're the only one I think about, the only one I want. I was such a fool to let you go the first time. I need you so much."
He kissed her again, unable to control the emotions he felt for her, but she didn't care. She wanted him to hold her, to kiss her, to make love to her. She wanted him next to her, if not forever, then for tonight. So when he pulled away the second time, she shook her head, placed her hand behind his neck and pulled him to her.
They kissed that way for several minutes as the passion within them grew stronger. Michael pulled back slightly, taking both her hands in his and they stood together before the firelight. Slowly, he untied the silk scarf from around her neck and slid it off, dropping it on the couch. The sweater came next, as he slipped it over her head, letting it fall to join the scarf.
He pulled her to him and held her tight, moving his hands up and down the soft skin of her back, feeling the silkiness of her satin bra push against his sweater. The firelight gave her skin and hair a soft golden hue, the color of wheat on an autumn day, as he held her close wanting to feel her, smell her, experience her with all his senses.
Shivers of excitement ran through Dani at his touch. She ran her hands up the back of his sweater, eager to feel him, too. His muscles flexed at her touch and a soft moan escaped his lips. Would it always feel this way with him, she wondered, as her excitement grew stronger with each caress. It never mattered how many years or months passed between them, his very touch erupted burning desire and passion within her. And she pulled him even closer, wishing it could be this way forever.
Finally, no longer able to control the desire that was ablaze between them, Michael led Dani to his bed, pulled back the covers with one swift movement, and together they shed their clothes and joined in a sweet release of passion.
"I love you," Michael whispered again to her when their passion was spent and they held each other close.
"I love you, too," Dani told him. And together they drifted off to sleep, comforted in each other's arms.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The sun was barely making its way up into the sk
y when Dani slowly awoke, confused at first, then smiling as she remembered where she was. She turned carefully, not wanting to wake Michael, and watched him sleep, a peaceful expression on his face. She wanted so much to touch the silky strands of dark hair that had fallen over his forehead, but refrained herself so as not to wake him. She satisfied herself instead with just watching him sleep as she replayed yesterday and last night in her mind.
He'd said he loved her. Not just once, but many times. And that he was a fool for leaving her the first time. How many times over those first few years after he'd left had she wished he'd come back and say those very words to her? Even when she had hated him, at times she thought she'd take him back if only he'd come back and tell her those exact words.
And now here she lay, years later, beside the only man she ever truly loved, ever really wanted. Yes, she loved him. She had told him so last night, too. She realized that even through her hate for him, she had still loved him. The hatred had been a way of holding onto his memory and not letting him go. But now that was all over, she was here. What now?
He had loved her before, and left her. Would that happen again? Could she live through that pain a third time? Did she even want too?
Michael stirred in his sleep and Dani tensed until she saw he hadn't awakened. Even tousled in sleep he looked handsome and inviting. It made it hard for Dani to think about anything else except losing herself in his arms again.
But she had to make herself think of more than that this time. She needed to be alone with her thoughts to sort out all that had happened between them.
Quietly, she slipped from his bed, slipped her coat over herself and picked up the clothes that lay scattered on the floor. Then she crept from his room and across the hall into her own room. Slipping the coat off and some sweats on, she crawled under the comforter on the bed and lay staring at the ceiling above.
Alone, in the solitude of her own bed, she was better able to see the truth of last night. Yesterday had been such an emotional day for Michael and for her, it was no surprise that the evening ended in each other's arms. But in the cold light of the morning, would he still feel for her what he did last night? And for how long?
After much thought, Dani realized what she had to do. Although she didn't regret spending the night in his arms, and in her heart she knew that she loved him, she couldn't, or wouldn't, expect Michael to hold true to his words. He'd been under too much emotional strain at the time. He only needed someone to help him through. So, before she would wait for him to tell her, she thought it best to get on with her life first. It would be painful leaving him, but it would be less so if she did it before any promises were made and broken.
As the day broke into sunshine, Dani slipped out of bed, showered, dressed simply in a white silk sweater, navy slacks and flats, and packed her bag to leave.
She was just stepping out into the hallway, suitcase in hand, coat bag slung over her arm, when Michael stepped out of his own room and saw her.
A big smiled appeared on his face as their eyes met, his sparkling with mischief. He had showered and was wearing jeans and a cream shirt with a casual tan wool blazer over it. The scent of his trademark cologne drifted to her, making the thought of leaving him harder, melting her heart, but not her resolve.
"You sneaked out on me," he teased as he came near and placed a light kiss on her lips. He looked fresh and spirited and young, so different from the solemn man of yesterday. As if last night had revitalized his soul. But when he noticed the suitcase in Dani's hand and the bag over her arm, his face dropped in surprise.
"Are you leaving?"
"Yes, Michael. It's time I went back."
His brow creased as he studied her face trying to read her thoughts. This was the last thing he'd expected. "Can't you stay just a couple more days?"
Dani shook her head, trying to look anywhere except in Michael's eyes. "No, I really have to leave. I made a reservation on the ten o'clock commuter flight to New York City from East Hampton."
Michael stared at her, trying to understand, the smile long gone from his face. In a quiet voice, he said, "I see. So this time, you leave me. Is that it?"
"No, Michael. It's just better for me to leave now before…" she hesitated.
"Before what?"
Dani sighed. "It's just time to go back to my life. To reality. Okay?"
Michael drew closer to her and placed his hands on her arms. She dropped her suitcase and let the bag fall to the floor.
"To reality?" he asked. "This is reality, Dani. You and I, here, right now."
"No, Michael, it isn't. This is all fun and nice right now, but we both know it won't last. It never does."
"And last night?" he asked her, still confused by what was happening. "Didn't that mean anything?"
Dani finally looked at him, her eyes sad. "Last night was beautiful, like it always is when we're together. But yesterday was such an emotional day for you. For me, too. We were caught up in the emotions of the moment. It was inevitable we ended up together."
Michael pulled her closer. "No, Dani, this isn't like the other times. When I told you I loved you last night, I meant it. And I mean it now. I love you, Dani." He dropped his lips to hers and kissed her hard, pulling her close so she was pressed against him. Unable to reign in her own emotions, she responded, opening her lips to his, savoring his taste, his touch. But when Michael pulled away, all he saw was sadness in her eyes.
"What can I do to convince you?" he whispered hoarsely. Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up and a small smile fell on his lips. "I know," he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her down the hallway to the back stairway.
"Michael, what are you doing? Wait," Dani protested. But her words fell on deaf ears as he led her down the stairway, across the hall and into his office downstairs. It was the same thing he'd done almost a year ago at the party. Dani wasn't sure what he was up to.
When they entered the office, he let go of her hand and walked quickly to his desk, opened the top drawer and lifted something out of it. Dani stood in the morning sunlight that drifted through the windows, watching him as he circled the desk and came back to her. The portrait of Vanessa smiled down on them from above.
"I meant it when I said I love you, Dani," he repeated. "I knew I still loved you since that first night last September. But I didn't know what to do about it then. I've had a lot of time to think about it over the past few months, and I know now what I want." He handed her a small, black velvet box.
Dani looked from the box back to him, confused. "What is it?"
"Open it," he said, that mischievous look in his eyes again.
She slowly opened the box and gasped when she saw what was inside. Against the black velvet lay a brilliant cut diamond solitaire ring in a sparkling gold setting.
"I remembered a long time ago when you and I passed a jewelry store on the wharf. You pointed to a ring just like this one and said if you ever got married, you'd want a ring like this. Simple but elegant, you'd said. Here," he pulled the ring from its case and slid it on her finger. It fit perfectly.
Dani looked down at the ring as it sparkled in the sunlight, then back up at Michael, shock and surprise registered on her face.
"Dani," Michael started softly, clasping her hands in his. "I know I can't make up for all the pain I've caused you, or for all the lost years between us. But I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy. I want to share my life with you, my work with you and everything I have. I want to share Michelle's childhood with you. Dani, will you marry me?"
The room seemed to enfold them as Dani searched the gray depths of his eyes, trying to absorb what he was saying. Marry him? Did he really mean it? She could hardly believe it, yet he looked at her so intently, his eyes so sincere, she knew he was serious.
"Oh, Michael," was all she could say. She stared down at the ring, then back up at him. "I don't know." She was at a loss for words.
"Just say yes," he told her, smiling down at her.
Dani dropped her eyes, unable to look at him and that smile that always reached her soul. Here she was, standing with the only man she had ever truly loved, being asked to share his life forever after nineteen years of waiting; yet, she was unable to answer. It should be so easy, she thought, so simple, but it wasn't.
"I can't," she said finally, her head still bowed so he couldn't see the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"Why not?" Michael asked, then a thought occurred to him. "Don't you love me, Dani? Is that it? No, I can't believe that. Not after last night. You love me, too, don't you?" He placed a hand under her chin and brought her eyes up to meet his. "Dani?"
Tears spilled as she answered him. "Yes, Michael, I love you. I've loved you since I was eighteen, and even through all those years that I thought I hated you, somewhere deep inside, I loved you. I never stopped loving you."
"Then what's the problem?" he smiled again, happy to hear she did love him. "We're together now, and we can stay that way forever."
Dani turned her head away and pulled her hands from his grasp. "No, Michael, it's not that easy. It's too soon. So much has happened. I need some time to think."
"Too soon!" Michael gave a short laugh. "Dani, we've been waiting nineteen years for this moment. Why make the wait any longer? We still love each other after nearly twenty years, and we've survived the pain. Who deserves happiness more than we do, together?"
She turned to face him. Her voice wasn't angry, only sad. "And if you decide in a week, or a month, or a year from now that it isn't right? What then? There have never been any guarantees between us before, what makes now any different?"
Michael bridged the gap between them and pulled her into his arms. "I'm sorry I hurt you before, Dani. But I promise you, I won't hurt you again. After all I've been through, I've changed. You have to believe me. I'm not the same man I was years ago, even months ago. Even you've seen that. You said so yesterday."
Memories Page 19