Micah stopped short of confessing his love for her. He had made love to her with deep emotion but wasn’t ready to give voice to those feelings yet.
“I’m really glad to hear you say that,” Tamara said. She sat up in bed with her back pressed against a stack of pillows. “I love what I do, and my career means a lot to me. It’s all that I have in my life right now.”
He sat up beside her. “I admit that it was a childish thought,” Micah stated. “I don’t know why I ever considered doing something so petty.”
“You were hurt,” she told him. “And you wanted to hurt me back. Believe it or not, I understand what that feels like, Micah.”
“We’ve come a long way to get to this point. All this time…”
“Wasted,” Tamara finished for him. “We wasted ten years because of a simple misunderstanding.” She turned in his arms, facing him.
“Putting my heart on the line isn’t easy for me,” Micah confessed.
“No more talking,” Tamara whispered sleepily. “I just want to savor this moment.”
She was snoring softly a few minutes later.
Micah woke up shortly after 7:00 a.m. the next morning.
He was still reeling from the amazing night he had spent with Tamara. Life was funny. You never had a clue if happiness was waiting around the corner or if it decided to show up ten years later. From Micah’s perspective, she had definitely been worth the wait.
A smile spread across his face as he watched Tamara sleep. He planted tiny kisses on each cheek, her nose, her chin and her neck in an attempt to wake her up.
She moaned softly.
He placed a kiss on her lips.
Tamara opened her eyes, stretched and yawned. “Good morning.”
She sat up in bed, pulling the covers up to hide her breasts.
Micah attempted to pull her down and into his arms, but Tamara moved out of his reach, leaning over to grab her purse.
“I was thinking that we could go on and get the interview out of the way?” she asked, slipping a tape into the recorder. “I know how uncomfortable you are about doing it.”
Her words washed over him like a bucket of ice-cold water. Micah stiffened as realization dawned on him.
This had all been a ploy on Tamara’s part. Apparently, the only reason she made love to him was because she wanted to interview him—Tamara cared nothing for him. She had taken advantage of him while they were in school, and she was still trying to make a fool of him now.
He had had enough. “I think I’ve revealed enough of myself to you already,” Micah stated. “I can’t believe I fell a second time for the same mess!”
Tamara wore a look of confusion. “I don’t think I understand.”
“Unfortunately, I do,” Micah responded without looking at her. “Look, I have some phone calls to make. Bringing you here was a big mistake, so it’ll be best if you leave.”
“What is going on with you?” Tamara demanded, her voice trembling. “Why do you want me to leave?”
“Because you’re no longer welcome in my house.”
Speechless, Tamara climbed out of bed, picked up her clothing and rushed into the bathroom. She had no idea why Micah was suddenly so angry with her. Had this been part of his plan for revenge?
Micah had gotten out of bed and slipped on a robe when she walked out of the bathroom. “My driver will take you back to the hotel or where you want to go.”
“Micah, what’s wrong?” Tamara asked, her voice trembling. “What did I do to upset you this time?”
“I made the mistake of thinking that you were different from any other woman going after what she wants.”
She replayed everything that happened in her mind. “Micah, I only thought you would want to get the interview out of the way so that you wouldn’t have to dwell on it. You were relaxed and I thought you were comfortable with me. That’s the only reason I suggested doing it this morning.”
“It doesn’t matter because you won’t be getting your interview, Tamara.” Micah’s tone had become chilly.
“That’s fine,” Tamara said as she fought back tears. She didn’t want Micah to see her cry. She would never give him that satisfaction. “It’s pretty obvious to me that you’re not the man that I thought you were, either. You can’t seem to make up your mind whether to love me or punish me. You won’t have to worry about me bothering you. I get it now.”
Tamara held her turbulent emotions inside until she was safely in the car.
She was confused by Micah’s sudden chilly reaction this morning, especially after what they shared last night. Tamara had assumed that they had broken through all the ice surrounding his heart.
What happened between last night and this morning? He had totally misunderstood her attempt to put him at ease. If his intent was to follow through with hurting her, he accomplished what he’d set out to do. Micah’s treatment wounded her to the core, but Tamara purposed in her heart to forget the memorable night she shared with him. It wasn’t going to be easy, but in time it wouldn’t hurt so much.
In time, she would forget.
Tamara booked herself into a hotel near the airport. She kept her outward calm until she reached the confines of her room. She unlocked the door, tossed her luggage to the side and navigated to the shower.
Beneath the running water, Tamara cried out her heartbreak in the shower. When she came out and dried her body and her face, Tamara gazed at her reflection in the mirror. She lifted her chin and felt a surge of determination and sheer willpower.
She could get through this, Tamara decided. She would do what she had been doing all of her life. She would survive.
Chapter 10
Tamara had been back in Atlanta for two days.
Her mother had called her at least three times since her return to check on her and invite her to lunch, which Tamara refused because she knew Jillian was most likely trying to play matchmaker.
She definitely was not interested in meeting another man. Her spirit was still low from Micah’s rejection, so it was best that she be alone for now.
The telephone rang. Seeing that it was her mother again, Tamara answered it. “Hello, Mama.” They had already spoken for a few minutes not even fifteen minutes ago. Tamara couldn’t imagine what she wanted now.
“I’m thinking of making a nice dinner on Sunday,” Jillian announced. “I hope you’re free.”
“Who else did you invite?” Tamara wanted to know. “Mama, I’m not in the mood for your matchmaking.”
“I invited your sister and Bryant to join us. I thought it would be nice to have my family surrounding me.”
“They haven’t been married all that long, Mama. Callie and her husband might want to spend time alone,” Tamara responded. “I’ll come over, and we can cook a great meal for the two of us. It’ll be fun.”
“Honey, what’s wrong?” her mother asked. “You haven’t sounded like yourself since you came home from California. How did things go out there?”
“I got the information I needed for my story on Justice Kane. I’m almost finished with the last piece of the series.”
“Did you and Micah get a chance to catch up?”
“We spent a couple days together,” Tamara stated without emotion. “He seems to stay busy, but I’m not surprised. Micah has always been extremely focused.”
“What was it like seeing him again?” Jillian inquired as casually as she could manage, but she did not have her daughter fooled for one minute.
“It was nice,” Tamara answered. “Mama, please quit with all of the questions. This was a business trip. Not a romantic getaway.”
“You mean to tell me that you and Micah spent your entire trip talking about business? I can’t believe that he is that committed to Sunshine or whatever her name?”
Tamara chewed on her bottom lip to keep from smiling. “Mama…”
“I’m just saying,” Jillian countered. “I know how much that boy cared for you when you were in school. It was pretty cle
ar to me that Micah was in love with you, Tamara.”
“Well, he’s not anymore,” she responded. “Micah has moved on with his life, and I’m doing the same.”
Her mother was not about to let her off the hook. That just was not Jillian’s style. “Then why do you sound so sad if that’s the case? Honestly, dear, you sound as if you’ve lost your best friend.”
She wasn’t about to confide in her mother, so she said, “Mama, can we please change the subject? I don’t want to talk about Micah anymore.”
“Tamara, you know that I’m here if you want to talk about anything. You don’t have to keep your feelings all bottled up inside.”
“Thanks,” she muttered. “Mama, I just have a lot on my mind right now. I have to come up with some ideas to pitch to Samantha tomorrow.”
“Are you enjoying your new position at the magazine?”
“I am,” Tamara admitted. It was the only thing in her life that gave her joy now.
After promising to have dinner with her mother on Sunday, they ended their conversation. She hung up the phone and stretched out on her sofa, hoping her headache would disappear.
Micah was so angry he was trembling. He was too angry to just stand still and too angry to pace the floor.
How could he allow the same woman back into his life? Tamara was a master manipulator, willing to do anything—even sleep with him for a story.
He tried to get her to open up with him. Now he understood why she was so reluctant to discuss her past. There was nothing to tell. Tamara enjoyed playing the victim. She played well but no more.
Micah vowed from this moment forward that he would have nothing else to do with her.
He meant it this time. He was done with Tamara Hodges.
The telephone rang.
Micah checked the caller ID and saw that it was Sunni calling.
He was not in the right frame of mind to deal with Sunni and her pathetic attempt at manipulation. Unlike Tamara, she wasn’t very skilled at it.
He spent most of his day outside by the pool, lost in thought and struggling once again to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.
Love is truly blind, Micah decided.
That was the only reason behind his falling for Tamara’s antics. She was looking to further her career and it didn’t seem to matter to her that she was using him to do it.
I’m a fool when it comes to Tamara.
Furious over his own weakness, Micah strode briskly across the room and went out on the patio.
It was a beautiful clear day in Los Angeles. Usually Micah enjoyed the beauty of nature, but now, he held no appreciation for anything and hadn’t for weeks now.
He thought back to the promise he made Tamara’s grandmother shortly before she died and felt a thread of guilt.
“I didn’t lie to you, Mrs. Davis. Things changed after you left us. Tamara is not the girl we thought she was. I think she had all of us fooled,” he whispered. “Your granddaughter played me big time, and despite the fact that I love her, I’m done with her for good.”
The telephone rang again.
He had to admit that he was a little surprised he hadn’t heard from Tamara by now. He half expected her to call and plead for the interview—especially since that’s all she wanted from him.
It was clear to Micah that Tamara wanted her career more than anything else—even more than she wanted him.
Tamara decided she needed some girlfriend time so she called Kyra and invited her to see a movie. After they agreed on a time for the next day, she hung up.
Each time Micah tried to force his way into her thoughts, Tamara pushed him into the far recesses of her mind. She didn’t want to think about the man who had used her and then tossed her out like discarded trash.
Tamara found ways to stay busy in order to get through the day without dwelling on her failed romance with Micah.
She woke up early the next morning and went to the gym to work out some of her frustration. What bothered Tamara most was that she had no idea why Micah treated her so badly.
After Tamara’s kickboxing class, she felt somewhat better, but the rest of the day, she continued to battle her heartsickness over Micah.
That night when she saw Kyra in the parking lot, she waved.
They walked up to the theater together.
“How was your trip?” Kyra questioned Tamara. They had just purchased their movie tickets and were standing in line for popcorn and sodas.
Although she was dying inside, Tamara pasted a smile on her face. “It was fine. I had fun on the tour with Justice.”
“I can’t wait to read all about it. Actually, the reason I wanted to talk to you is because I have an idea for a story if you’re interested. What do you think of writing an article about Terrence Franklin being courted to sign on as Hollington’s head coach?”
“I wondered what he was going to do after retiring from the NFL,” Tamara stated. “I remember how much he loved football.”
“I’m hoping he will take the job.” Kyra took a sip of her iced tea. “If he does, I’m definitely looking forward to next season.”
Tamara agreed. “I think Terrence will make a great coach.”
“It would be nice to generate as much buzz as possible.”
“Can you give me his contact information? I’d like to interview him for the article.”
“Now that we got that business out of the way,” Kyra stated as they neared the counter, “did anything happen between you and Micah?”
Tamara tried to keep her face void of any emotion. “Nothing worth talking about,” she responded.
“I’m surprised because that boy has always wanted you, Tamara. I could tell that Micah was crazy about you.”
Well things have changed, she thought to herself. He hates me now.
Kyra ordered small popcorn and a soda while Tamara ordered a root beer. She wasn’t hungry so she decided against the popcorn.
Truth be told, she really was not in the mood for a movie, but Tamara decided that she needed to get out of the house.
Three hours later, she was grateful to be back at home. The chick flick only served to sink her deeper into depression. It was a beautiful romantic comedy, only she couldn’t fully appreciate the story because of her own lack of a love life.
She just couldn’t seem to get it right.
Tamara stared at the phone. She struggled with whether or not to call
Micah. It did not take her long to decide that calling him would be fruitless. The man wanted nothing more to do with her. He’d made love to her and then tossed her out. That spoke volumes.
She removed her clothes and padded barefoot into the bathroom. Tamara turned on the shower.
As soon as Tamara felt the soothing hot water on her skin, she allowed her tears to flow. She stayed in the shower until she was all cried out.
Tamara dried off and slipped on a pair of silk pajamas. She sat down on the edge of her bed and opened her journal.
September 10
I thought about calling Micah today just to get some clarity on what transpired between us, but I really don’t know what to say to him. Besides, I’m not sure that he will even take my calls. He certainly hasn’t tried to reach me at all. I had hoped that once I was gone, Micah would miss me or feel bad over the way he threw me out of his house and that he would call to apologize.
I chose to think that he’s angry with me because the other alternative is that Micah wanted to pay me back for what happened in college. I find it hard to think of him being so cruel.
During the tour, I thought we had gotten closer and that we had truly laid the past to rest. Still, I’m left with the question of why he has such a low opinion of me. Why would he think that I’d try to manipulate him in some way just to get a story?
I try not to think that Micah used me for sex because it would hurt too much. I don’t want to think of him in that way. Feeling used in that way is such an ugly emotion.
I’m not going to keep dwellin
g on this. If Micah wanted nothing to do with me, so be it. I don’t want drama in my life.
I am going to finish my story and then forget that I ever knew Micah Ross.
Tamara closed her journal with a soft sigh.
If only it were that easy.
Micah sat at the piano in his music room.
His fingers danced over the keys, creating a mournful piece that captured his mood perfectly. He played, stopping every now and then to record the notes on a piece of paper. Some of his best songs were born out of his pain.
He had no idea of time. Micah was engrossed in his song. It pulled him along with its steady, jazzy melody. He continued to play, wrapped up in the music, the notes embracing him like a cocoon.
Micah’s fingers struck the keys until his long fingers ached.
He stopped playing and just sat there, staring off into space. Micah turned around on the wooden bench, his eyes bouncing around the room. He had a twelve thousand square foot house, more money than he could ever spend in his lifetime, a very successful company and no one special to share them with—it did not seem to make much sense to Micah.
He got up, ventured into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine.
Micah took it with him upstairs to his bedroom.
Although he didn’t want to see Tamara ever again, he couldn’t deny that her absence left an extraordinary void in his life.
He sipped his wine; the golden liquid ignited a drowsy warmth deep in the pit of his stomach. Micah sat down on one of the chairs in the sitting room, enjoying his drink.
The clock read 11:41 p.m.
Micah was tired but he wasn’t sleepy. He had to fly to New York the next day for business. Since his flight did not leave until six, Micah put off packing until the next morning.
He drank the last of his wine and then stretched out on the sofa. Micah had a hard time keeping his eyes open.
His last waking thought before he drifted into sleep was of Tamara. He hated himself for his inability to stop loving her.
Chapter 11
Tamara reluctantly met her mother for a day of shopping on Saturday. She had planned to just stay home and relax, but Jillian was redecorating her bedroom for the third time in less than a year and insisted on her daughter’s help.
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