by Melissa Blue
His question made her clamp her lips together. He leaned forward and sucked in a deep breath for fortitude. She smelled of her perfume, of heat. Jesus. Even in that critical moment, he wanted her. That's what she did to him, always. Why did it take him so long to do something about it?
But he wouldn't let her think for one minute that Porter had forced Victor to admit he loved her. She'd been right all those times to say it was just them—her and him.
So, again, he pushed. “What do you think Porter told me?”
She lifted her chin, not giving an inch. Not like she should have, anyway. “He's on board and has certain expectations from you.”
“And that means?” he asked.
She narrowed her eyes.
He put up his hands in surrender. “I love you, Ash. It's that simple.”
Did she know just how expressive her eyes were? He could see how happy the confession made her. Still...she was pissed.
“What else?” she asked.
He'd forgotten she could get under his skin just as easily. “What do you mean, 'what else?'” he bit out.
“'Cause I'm thinking six months from now, when you have a really bad episode, we're back to you pushing me away. You'll throw my past in my face. A past like yours, but because I'm a woman...”
He braced his hands on the desk, held her gaze and said, “And you'll leave. Again.”
She frowned, taking a cautious step back. “What?”
Victor had no trouble repeating the words. “And you'll leave again.”
“You pushed me out. You told me to go and that I wasn't welcome.”
“And when have you ever listened to me?”
He nodded at her silence. “I pushed you and you didn't even fight,” he said. “You walked. I can't help but think that small voice of doubt is right. I was just a fuck.”
She placed her hands on her hips and took a menacing step forward. “You expect me to grovel? No. Wait for you with my virginity intact until you decided to take your head out of your ass?” Her voice went high and sharp at the question, disbelief etching harsh lines on her face.
“Never wanted you to wait, but how am I supposed to feel when you don't think we'll last?”
“I...”
He held his breath. She crossed her arms and looked down. “I don't want to be my dad.”
He was a shit. Of course that would be her biggest fear. “I expect you to be Ash,” he said. “Stubborn, willful, and giving approximately zero fucks about what's socially acceptable because you follow your heart. I love you, Ash. You drive me nuts and I love you. You could never be your father. Even if you tried.”
“But...”
“Did you father, would your father ever hunt Porter down and let him know how much he cared? Even if it meant being hurt in the process?”
Ash shifted. “Never has or will.”
“I love you, Ashley.”
She looked away, and bit her lip probably a hide the tremble. “It's not enough.”
Those three words were like a blow to his chest, but he nodded. She needed to believe this time was real, forever. She also needed to be there for him as much as he was willing to be there for her.
Victor could kick himself. He hadn't just pushed her away, but had made sure coming back would look like a sign of weakness. “Do you want to know what Porter said to me last night?”
Ash dropped her hands from her hips and sighed. “So you guys are good?”
“Yes and no,” he answered honestly.
She swallowed, looking torn between wanting to know and wanting to walk out. “Fine. What did he say?”
“In a few words? The only thing he'd ever wanted for both of us was to be happy. So don't screw it up.”
Her eyes went wide and a bit misty. “My brother isn't the most insightful.”
“He is. In his own way. What he wants isn't important when it comes to us.”
Her jaw clenched. “Nope. It's not.”
He wanted to laugh because she wasn’t going to make groveling easy for him at all. He loved her more for it.
“He gave me his blessing and I realized I didn't need it. Didn't matter. I was going to do everything I could to make things right with you whether he approved of us or not. It's just you and me. It's always been just you and me.”
Her misty eyes threatened to spill over with tears.
“So, Ash, I love you and that's never going to change. How do you want me to show you? I'll do it.”
She inhaled, pushed out the breath, and then lifted her chin higher. “Stop.”
“No.”
“I hate you,” she muttered.
“No, you don't.”
“We're devolving,” she pointed out.
“When aren't we?”
She put her hands on her hips again and then sighed. “Words aren't enough, Vic.”
He sighed, too, then nodded. “Okay.”
Ash frowned at him. “Okay?”
Victor smiled. “Yup. Okay.”
She pursed her lips for a very long moment. “What does that mean?”
“You want to know if I'm serious this time. I'm going to show you that I am.”
She laughed, likely at his obstinate tone. “You're going to try and out-stubborn me?”
“I can be more stubborn than you in my sleep.”
And there was the light he'd been looking for in her eyes. A spark of need. She wasn't going to let him get the last word. That was his Ash. He wanted to round the desk and take her in his arms. He knew she wouldn't let him, but that didn't dim the longing. He braced his hands on his desk again instead.
All she did, though, was laugh and leave his office. Oh, yeah. She was probably still pissed at him. Probably didn't believe he'd let her be there for him. But she hadn't told him to quit while he was ahead or that she'd never forgive him.
He hadn't lost her. Not yet.
*****
Iris and Eva appeared speechless as both women took in kitchen table. Flowers, candy boxes, and wrapped gift boxes littered the wood from end to end.
Ash waltzed past the monstrosity as though it wasn't even there.
“So,” Eva said, her brows way up. She gestured to the table. The light from the chandelier shadowed her face. “What's all this?”
“Beer or wine?” Ash asked instead of answering, hoping they'd ignore the gifts so she could try too.
Iris explained, “It started about three days ago. Her office looks the same.”
“Victor?” Eva asked, surprise in her voice.
“Yup,” Iris said. “He's wooing her. You should take some of the truffles. They are to die for, and I suspect they aren't entirely legal.”
Not having to be told twice, Eva picked up the box teetering on top of the pile and dug in. She moaned then muttered, “Wine,” around a mouthful of chocolate-covered truffles.
Clearly, ignoring the monstrosity wasn't going to work. Ash tried to reason with them. “Don't eat the truffles. The...assholes win.”
Iris picked up a handful of treats. “What she means to say is she's secretly preening. Have you met Victor? He's not exactly a candy and flowers guy. He told her he'd prove how much he loves her. She's turned him into a poems, flowers, jewelry, and candy guy.”
Ash hadn't turned him into anything. Vic had always been that man. Well...that was the truth she’d decided to adopt to help her ride out the wave of groveling.
Eva shook her head. “The first time I met Victor, he had this expression on his face that said if I so much as asked him a question, he'd end me in an ugly, scary way. I think he smiled, but that was after I made an ass of myself.”
Sounded about right.
Ash handed Eva a glass. “They’re just things.”
But secretly, Ash really was preening. She'd expected Vic to corner her in her office, kiss her face off, and then things would play out like they always did—with her naked and panting. Instead, Vic was being a romantic. Well, a romantic who had probably planned a frontal assault on lov
e.
Eva washed down the candy with wine. “But back up. He wrote poems?”
Again, Ash’s unhelpful-ass friend offered, “On sticky notes that he left in, like, her drawers to find throughout her workday.” Iris swooned to the left and had to hold onto one of the checkered kitchen chairs to stay upright. “Shakespeare, I think.”
“He didn't write them. He copied some E.E. Cummings,” Ash corrected and then winced because she’d proved Iris’s point. “Okay. I had to read the poems. I was curious. Victor and words aren't exactly longtime friends.”
Eva asked, “How do you know there's jewelry?”
“She won't open the boxes,” Iris offered, again, “but I do. It's all so very fascinating and sweet.”
When Ash poured herself a glass of wine, she made sure the liquid almost tipped over the glass. The next glass she barely filled half way. That one was for Iris.
“For you.” She held it out to her friend.
Iris took the glass without batting an eye and asked, “And if he stopped tomorrow? What would you think?”
Ash would worry and hunt him down to find out why he’d stopped. “None of the things on this table has convince me that if shit gets rough, he'll trust me to be there.”
“Oh,” Eva murmured. “Oh. I see. And, you're wrong. Can I say that yet?” She cringed. “Are we that close? Crap.” She drained her wine.
Ash laughed, too amused by Eva's reaction. “God, you're so cute. And you can say it. But—”
Iris tugged Eva closer and whispered to her.
Eva's eyes went wide. “Are you serious? Oh, yeah.” She shook her head at Ash. “You're so wrong.”
Ash bit her lip, trying to hold back the legion of questions. “What?”
Both Eva and Iris mimed zipping their lips.
Ash snapped at them, “Why does no one see my side of things?”
“I do,” they both said.
Frustrated, she barked, “Then what am I missing?”
Eva turned her gaze to Iris. Her friend sighed. “Well...have you seen Victor in the past couple of days at work?”
“I've been avoiding him,” she mumbled.
“He's brought in donuts. He's saying good morning to everyone. And it's not for show. He's happy. I wouldn't have guessed it was the same man. I doubt he'll be cured of his PTSD and whatnot, but hell, I'd give him a chance to prove to me that he wants me around. Even when things get ugly.”
Breaking, Ash picked up one of the gifts and opened it. Inside was a bracelet with pink sapphires. A chain of hearts. It was so girly and exactly something she'd wear. Instead of giving into the warmth filling her stomach, she grumbled, “Where in the hell is he getting all this money?”
Eva said, “Oliver. Victor has been coming over after work and baiting Oliver into these outrageous wagers.”
Aghast, Ash had to clamp her mouth for a moment. “Over what?”
Eva turned away, her expression the picture of guilt.
“Oh, hell no,” Ash said, her stomach clenched. “What bets?”
Her new friend sighed. “From what I understand it's a bet about when you'll forgive him. Oliver says two or four days and Victor says never or close enough. He practically gets paid every day that rolls by.”
Ash sputtered, tried again and then ground out, “He's betting against himself?”
Eva laughed. “He knows you. He probably knows all this wouldn't sway you. You're as stubborn as he is.” She stopped, tilting her head. “He, also, probably wants you guys to fight it out. Put everything on the table. So, if you really want him to suffer, then wait him out. He doesn't care about the money but you...and he's not patient. That much I've learned about Victor in the past few months.”
Ash freed the bracelet from the box and put it on, thinking over the advice. “Eva, you're a keeper.”
“I just want to eat your chocolate.” She grinned after saying it.
Iris snorted. “Yeah. We're keeping her.”
Whether or not Eva was only there for the chocolate, Ash had a plan. She smiled.
*****
Ash wore the skirt with the slit up the back that flashed thigh and made her ass bounce. Victor had to lean against his office doorjamb when his gaze reached her ass.
She also wore the pink sapphire bracelet he’d bought her. And that meant she knew the game he was playing. She knew, and was going to drive him up a wall. She was egging him on.
She grinned at him as she passed his office door. “Ash, got a minute to talk?”
“Nope.” She put an extra sway in her hips that left a buzz in his ears. She threw over her shoulder, “Maybe after lunch?”
“Sure,” he said, practically panting.
His anxiety ran high until lunch. When she didn't come to his office, he went to hers. Empty.
Kind of.
She'd opened every single gift and decorated her office with the things he'd bought her. The mini model of Castiel sat next to her computer along with the cotton-candy candle. But he knew her. The decoration wasn't forgiveness. She knew what he was doing.
That suspicion was confirmed by the Post-it note on top of her laptop.
Sorry. Iris had an emergency. After work?
Dammit. Victor sat on the edge of her desk. His plan had backfired. He'd hoped she'd find out about the bet and throw everything he'd bought in his face. They'd talk again, and since he was starting to lose a bit of his patience, he'd touch her. He should have known she was too smart to fall for that. The last thing she'd do was let him within breathing distance until she was damn good and ready. Or unless it was on her own terms and in her own territory.
Like her apartment.
She didn't want flowers or gifts from him. She wanted his word.
No.
He glanced around the office and spotted the photo of the Goon Squad he'd given her. Probably the only picture with everyone, including her. It had been taken at Wade's fourth and final graduation.
Ash wanted to know she wasn't alone. She needed to believe that if he went off his rocker, he'd reach out to her first, not chase her away. Their break had happened because his actions yelled louder than his words. And Vic would never show her with gifts or by egging her on. He'd treat her like she was part of the Goon Squad—his squad.
“Well, time to bring out the big guns,” he muttered.
After work, he didn't bother to hunt her down at the office or even the parking lot. He went straight to her apartment. Her car was in the lot, and that meant she must have worked a half day...leaving at lunch. He snorted and got out.
She answered the door in a tank top, cutoff sweats...and a smirk. “Didn't take you long to figure out I'd given you the slip,” she said.
His heart warmed, because he knew her. “It was only fair. I started this game instead of doing the right thing.”
There was a light in her eyes that hadn't been there for the past few weeks. “Game?” she said and sounded so full of shit. “What do you mean? I'm so confused.”
He stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep from cupping her face—from bringing that light up to his face so he could soak her in. “I wondered how long it would take you to stuff all those gifts down my throat.”
She lifted her arm to show off the bracelet. “I like your gifts.”
“Because it's pink and has hearts.” He balled his hands in his pockets because, God, he wanted to touch her, soak her in. Selfish. But how could he not want her? How could he not love her? How could he ignore how much she loved him back?
“I'm still kind of amazed I fell for a woman who is soft as you.”
Ash leaned into him and then edged back as though remembering she shouldn't.
Taking that as a go-ahead, he freed his hands and rested one on her stomach.
Victor gave her a soft push. “But you're also strong.” He threw out, like it didn't matter, but it did. It so did. “I have a question I need to ask you.”
Her breath hitched. He wasn't sure if it was because of his touch or because
she knew the question.
Ash asked, “Why didn't you ask me that first day?”
The truth was all that mattered now. He took another step forward and she took one back. “I kept waiting to hear you say it.”
“What?” Her question came out in a nervous rush.
He stopped moving and held her stare. The words needed to be uttered and she wasn't going to say them first. He'd made sure of it. And...she was scared. Him hurting her didn't put fear in her heart. Her loving him, openly, was what scared her. She could hurt him too.
So he said in a low voice, “That you loved me.”
Her breath hitched again. “Victor—”
“Victor?” he asked, warmed. So damn warm. “Now I know I'm in trouble. You only say my full name when you're horny or pissed at me.” He pushed her stomach again, leading her into the bedroom.
“I'm not having sex with you,” she protested. “Stop trying to get me into my room.” She stopped and held her ground in the hallway.
So he cupped her face instead. “I haven't slept for the past few days. You're not safe around me when I'm like this. That's just the truth of it. If I ever do anything to you when I'm like this, I'll never forgive myself.”
Her breathing was unsteady. “Then why are you here, trying to get me into bed?”
“Because the smartest woman I know isn't scared to sleep beside me. She grew up with four crazy and overprotective brothers...because I never truly was. I wanted you too much. And she can beat me at any game we play. She's fearless and loving. If I'm going to trust anyone to be my warrior when I can't be my own, it's her. And all she wants—all that you’ve really asked me for is to sleep beside you. The truth is, I'd give you the world and plan to, but maybe we should start with that.”
She dropped her stare, and a second later he heard the soft sob.
He dragged her into him, wrapping her tight in his embrace. “Can I ask my question now?”
“Yes, I'll marry you.”
He laughed because of course she'd know and preempt his question. “How'd you guess that's what I'd ask you?”
“Porter probably gave you my grandmother's ring when he came to talk to you.” She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes, but her smile is what warmed him. “I love you, Victor. Your full name so you know I mean it.”