Past Truths

by Em Pitts

  Ellyne waved my concerns off. "Jayne already told her side to Willoughby and Hector. I refused to listen to her until I heard your side. Will told us you were ignoring her at the tavern and making rude comments behind her back." She gave me a questioning look.

  "Of course not." I scoffed. "I've got enough drama in my life and no reason to create more." I can't believe Willoughby was trying to stir up more problems. Fuck it. They aren't important.

  "I figured. You didn't seem like the type of person." She gave me a sympathetic look then. "Hector doesn't want to speak with you. He believes Jayne and Will."

  "Why didn't you take her side?"

  "Unlike the others, I've known Jayne longer. She grew up with Ollie and me."

  "Did you try to hook them up too?" I teased. Her horrified look had me laughing.

  "I would not wish her on our greatest enemies." She shuddered. "What Hector finds in her, I'll never know. She's tolerable at best."

  "I'm sorry you have to put up with her." I couldn't imagine living with a woman you couldn't stand.

  "Feel sorry for Hector. She's gone far enough this time. Until he fixes this, he may just find his clothes stained and his meals cold." She gave me a smirk.

  "No revenge against Jayne?"

  "Oh, I've already found her favorite dress was ruined somehow. Must have been the rats." She winked causing me to laugh. "Thanks for coming by to talk to me. I was worried our friendship would be ruined too."

  "About that," I cringed. "I actually kind of came to see Hope. I have something I made for her. Not that I didn't want to talk to you." I quickly tried to placate her. "I just didn't realize the Jayne situation was affecting you too is all." Ellyne rolled her eyes at me.

  "If something is bothering Jayne, then it impacts everyone." She dramatically replied before leading me into the house. "Jayne and the kids are here, but everyone else is out. I doubt you will even see her though."

  She led me to the kitchen where Hope was tugging on Samson's strings to keep him from climbing on the pots inside the opened cabinet. She must have been helping Ellyne with house chores this morning. Her eyes found mine and lit up with a smile. I'm glad she still seemed fine with me.

  "Hey Hope, Samson!" I greeted with a wave and was surprised when the little boy waddled as fast as he could towards me, squealing happily. I picked him up with a laugh and felt two little arms wrap around my legs as Hope hugged me. "Aw, I missed you guys."

  "Why haven't you come back?" Hope asked me point blank. I love and hate honesty in children. It hurts my heart sometimes.

  "I wanted to." I glanced at Ellyne who didn't seem inclined to help me at all. "One of your moms just wanted me to stay away for a while." I decided to tell her truthfully.

  "Why?" She asked again looking up at me.

  "Hope." Ellyne reprimanded her.

  "It's okay." I kneeled with Samson on my hip. "Sometimes people are different and it's hard for them to be together too much. Those times it's best if both people take a break for a while until they can work out their differences." Her brow furrowed as she listened to me.

  "Are we different and that's why you are taking a break?" She questioned. Oh, boy. This was just getting more difficult. Time to get back onto lighter topics.

  "I'm different. I'm a bit silly and the grownups don't know what to do with me." I crossed my eyes to emphasize my point and got a giggle out of her. "Hey, I brought you a present." I set Samson down and worked the booklet out of my waistband to give to Hope.

  She took it and smiled at the drawing of the monkey on the front. She started turning the pages and smiled wider. "You made me a hornbook with paper." She giggled out.

  "It's an alphabet book. You can draw your own if you like. I just wanted to find a way to make it more fun for you." Each page held large bubble letters and a drawing of something that started with that letter underneath. It wasn't perfect but you could tell what everything was. "This way you can remember your alphabet song in your head easier."

  I got another smile and a proper hug that made me feel on top of the world. Samson even had to join in when he got tired of tugging on my skirts.

  I asked the kids how they were and made some small talk with Ellyne before I made my goodbyes. I needed to get to Margrete's and start helping her with any preparations needed at the Meetinghouse for the trials. Ellyne surprised me with a hug before I left. I guess I had a friend in her. It's nice that she believed my side before she even learned the whole truth of the situation with Jayne. It was turning out to be a wonderful day.

  I started hurrying when I hit the town square and realized how many people were already out and about. I should have already been at Margrete’s by now. I knocked on her door hoping she was still there and not already at the meetinghouse with her husband. A young man answered the door shocking me. He had short curly brown hair and was taller than me with a lanky build. There was something familiar about him, but I was sure I had never met him.

  Margrete came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Tessa, meet my son Benjamin." She smiled proudly at the young man. "Come in. We are almost ready to go." I followed her through the door as Benjamin stepped aside.

  "Nice to meet you, Ms. Tessa." Benjamin politely inclined his head.

  "You too." I smiled. "Need help with anything?" I called to Margrete's back.

  "No, no. My husband forgot his sermons he was working on this morning. I've been taking up Benjamin's time, though." She came back with a loose stack of papers and a box. "Benjamin, would you mind carrying these?" She handed over the papers and kept the box.

  "I've missed you too, mother." Benjamin sighed exasperatedly accepting the papers. I could tell from the playful glint in his eyes that he was teasing her. "Shall we?" He gestured towards the door before opening it up for us.

  The walk to the meetinghouse was only a few minutes. Margrete chatted away with Benjamin about how his life was in Rowley Village and he answered her questions in humor. I can't blame him when she is asking questions like 'Are you brushing your teeth every day?'.

  "You know you can come to visit me anytime? I'm only an hour away. Even less time, if father allows you to take a wagon." Benjamin spoke as if he had repeated himself many times before. I caught Margrete's sad smile that she gave him in response. I wonder why she doesn't visit him if he lives so close?

  "There's my son!" Pastor Winter’s voice boomed out as we walked into the meetinghouse. I noticed the judge had Nick's father standing with him and another gifted man who stood ramrod straight and looked detached. "Come over here, we've been waiting for you." He waved Benjamin over and barely spared a glance at either Margrete or me. He accepted his papers from his son with a clap on his back bringing him into the circle of men.

  I was getting used to the men treating the woman as less important. It pissed me off, but I could tell that everyone seemed to just accept it. The only time the men paid much attention to the women was when they were trying to woo them or needed something. In instances like this one though, where the man was with acquaintances and in public, basically us ladies were just there to work. That's exactly what Margrete and I set to do for hours.

  The trials had different stages. I was learning little bits from the people around me. Margrete told me that the meetinghouse had to be set up to accommodate the greater number of people for before and after visiting the death cave. Excuse me, the divine cave.

  The first meeting was for the rest of the town to offer their support and prayers for the journey ahead of the aspirantium. After going through the trials at the cave, which annoyingly I still did not know much about, the villagers and visitors would hold a celebration thanking the great one for the blessings bestowed and blah, blah, blah.

  Basically, pray that the people make it out alive, then rejoice for the ones who did. I'm not sure what they say about the ones who don't.

  So Margrete and I were moving the pews to create a large space for the people's celebratory time. The reason for why the men were n
ot helping, but were standing around laughing and chatting instead? I would like to say it was because of the view on the way things should be.

  But when I looked at the group of men to silently glare, I caught Benjamin looking our way uncomfortably more than a handful of times. I guess that proved it was a matter of character and not societal views that drove a person.

  "What blessings do you wish to receive Ben?" The Judge's question caught my attention and I looked towards their group again.

  Benjamin shrugged. "Whatever God wishes me to be blessed with, will make me happy." He answered sincerely.

  I looked towards Margrete whose face was set in a hard line. "Benjamin is participating in the trials?" I whispered my question not wanting the men's attention. If they even knew we were still here.

  She gave me a clipped nod before smiling brightly. "It's nice to have him visit. He doesn't get to see us much these days." She responded strangely.

  "He seems so young to enter in the trials." I glanced again at Benjamin. He was only a teenager. He had to be around Abby's age.

  "He's a man now. Fifteen just this year." She replied distractedly pulling my attention back to her. Margrete was looking worriedly out the window. Does she not want him to enter the trials? His father seems so happy for him.

  "Margrete..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say. She snapped out of her trance at the sound of my voice and gave me that bright smile again. I noticed the strain around her eyes this time. It was definitely a fake smile. She was most certainly not okay with Benjamin having anything to do with the trials.

  "Mr. Barrett should be here soon with the stands and candles. Let's finish moving these last two so we have all the room we need." I nodded letting the subject go. As we moved the last pew against the wall, the chandler came inside propping open the door and calling out to us.

  "Mr. Barrett, how are you today?" The minister called out a greeting that was echoed with the men around him. Benjamin quickly stepped towards the chandler and helped with the large stands that he was carrying. Following suit, I walked over to carry a stand as well.

  "I'm doing well. Where would you like the stands placed?"

  "In the corners just as last year should do." The chandler nodded and went towards the right-hand corner. I copied him by going to the left of the room. We met back at the door with Benjamin who had placed his stand somewhere as well.

  "How are you?" I smiled at the chandler who offered a kind smile in return.

  "I've been good, Ms. Tessa. Congratulations to you. I heard about Isaake's intentions on marriage." I blushed and I'm not sure if it was embarrassment or guilt that time.

  "Issake is getting married?" Benjamin spoke from behind me in awe. We started on the three other stands that were left outside the door.

  "I guess it just took the right one." The chandler winked at me.

  "Chandler!" I mocked indignation.

  "It's Walter, remember."

  "I know, but Chandler sounds cool," I admitted. "How's Eliza?" I asked remembering the strange mention of her name by John. Maybe there was more than one.

  Chandler, or Walter rather, lost his smile before answering me. "She's different. I'm not sure if that's better or worse." He admitted.

  We separated to place the remaining stands and I quickly took a corner that was lacking one, not knowing where the other two would be placed. Turns out there were four in the corners and two against the sides in the middle between pews.

  I picked up the conversation where we left off as we walked back to the door. "Different how?"

  "At times, she is the happiest I have seen her. At other times she looks lost." He shook his head. "We best not gossip, though. What is meant to be, will be. Did you bring any candles for the stands?" He asked changing the subject.

  "I have two here," Margrete spoke up behind me. She was holding the box she brought. She must have disappeared to retrieve it. "We will need four more."

  "Of course. I made up six just in case. I'll go get the other four now."

  "Do you need any help?" Benjamin was quick to offer.

  "No, thank you. I can carry them easily enough." He nodded his goodbyes and set off back to his shop.

  I turned towards Benjamin. "I'm sure you can help us with whatever is left." I offered, assuming he wanted to get away from the men who were still standing there not doing anything else.

  Benjamin smiled sadly. Margrete answered for him. "How about you head over to the tavern and see who might know where Hector is today. I'm sure he needs some help." Benjamin's smile turned to relief.

  "Thanks, mother. Would you like me to check on Susie?" Who's Susie?

  "Please, do." With his mothers permission, he quickly walked towards the tavern leaving Margrete and me in the door.

  "I feel like I'm missing something," I admitted. Benjamin acted like he wanted to help the chandler. I assumed he was tired of standing and talking to the others, but he looked like he would refuse to help us. Yet, he jumped on the opportunity to find Hector. He must have wanted to get away for a bit. A hand on my shoulder startled me out of my thought process.

  "Come on, we still have work to do." Margrete turned to walk inside again.

  I blew out a breath before following. Maybe I should pray since this is the place for church, prayers, and such. I pray to whatever and whoever can help me to not want to punch the lazy assholes who keep laughing loudly as we work invisibly around them. Here's to not being hanged today for violence. I cross my fingers and stepped back inside.

  18

  That evening my body ached worse than the first night I arrived here. Moving pews was not too bad at first, they were just long wooden benches and Margrete is a strong partner. But after moving all of them? My back and legs were protesting against me. My brain was on board with the protest and decided to tell me how tired I was as well. It was dark and seemed like everyone else was already asleep for the night.

  I was yawning when I entered the front of the tavern. I didn't even bother going around to my favorite door as I suffered from a lack of fucks to give. I was surprised to see all four guys at the counter arguing amongst themselves. When I walked in heads turned my way and I visibly saw the relief as shoulders sagged.

  "Umm, hi?" I raised an eyebrow wondering what was going on.

  "We heard you were with Judge today," Raynor answered my unspoken question. He was standing with his arms crossed facing Ollie when I came in. He had a much more relaxed pose now.

  "I was with Margrete." I corrected. "Judge was there, but so was your dad, the minister, and some other guy." I walked to the counter deciding to sit for whatever conversation was coming. I was tired.

  "We were worried," Isaake added.

  "He didn't even notice me." I yawned and waved off their concern. "Thanks for checking in though." The guys exchanged a look that I couldn't decipher. I laid my head on the counter. "If you’re talking in your head, just know that it's rude." Someone snorted at me.

  "If she is fine then we should go," Ollie said causing a weird cramp in my stomach. I heard someone start to protest before he spoke again cutting them off. "There's nothing we can do about it right now either way." He said reasonably.

  There was a shifting of chairs as the three sitting down stood to leave. That cramping thing in my stomach had me paying attention to the feeling. Was I feeling...lonely? Pft! No. Couldn't be. "Guys?" The question popped out of my mouth without me realizing it and I almost hoped they didn't hear me so I could pretend I wasn’t about to be clingy.

  I raised my head to the silence and saw each man paying me attention. They were waiting for me to finish my question. Nerves fluttered in my stomach for some reason. I cleared my throat and tried to channel the badass I was in this time period. I could speak up and just ask them. The worst that can happen is they deny me.

  "Can I come hang out with you guys tonight?" I asked. I didn't want to just go to my room and do the same routine. I was glad that I could connect to Abby now, but I wanted to be wi
th people that I got along with too. I wanted to be with them. Hours of being ignored didn’t help the situation.

  The wary glances towards Ollie made me wish I didn't ask. I felt like a teenager about to be denied by her crush. I mean friend. Denied by her friend.

  "We have something we have to do tonight," Ollie replied carefully.

  "I unders—"

  Nick's voice cut me off. "She can come with us. If nothing else, let her hang out in the sleeping area." Nick was standing up for me to come with them? I looked at the others and saw a look of understanding on Raynor's face aimed at me.

  "She should be fine." Raynor's deep voice was completely calm and sure of his decision.

  "I agree," Isaake stated simply.

  Ollie rubbed his hand down his face before grating out, "Seriously?" Nick smiled cheekily at him in victory. "Fine. Come on." He huffed and walked outside.

  "I don't want to intrude." I really didn't want to go where I wasn't wanted.

  "Nonsense." Nick's smile was infectious, and I found myself grinning back.

  "It's not like that," Isaake added probably seeing my emotions play across my face. "We are normally alone is all. Ollie just isn't used to others. It's fine though." He added the last part quickly. "He would have argued if it wasn't."

  I was still indecisive when Raynor walked over to me and grabbed me out of the chair throwing me over his shoulder. I squeaked out in surprise and used my hands to push off his back as we walked towards the door. I gave the other two an incredulous look. Nick was laughing his ass off and Isaake just shook his head as he followed us.

  I heard a grunt as we made our way outside and assumed it was Ollie who must have been waiting on us. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" His voice confirmed my thoughts. Raynor grumbled but slid me down his body to land on my feet.

  "She wasn't going to come." Raynor shrugged acting completely justified in his reasoning. I couldn't help but laugh as we started walking towards their underground club. Ollie was beside me while Nick, Raynor, and Isaake were slightly behind us. I was relieved that they accepted me and didn't mind that I would be walking even with sore muscles. Speaking of...