Past Truths

by Em Pitts

  "Cindy!" Eliza called out with such joy. She grabbed the doll and was admiring it in awe. Her fingers felt along the puffed arms and flaring skirts of the dress before she aimed that beaming smile up at me. She wrapped her arms around my legs nearly taking me out. I laughed at the pure moment and listened to her needlessly thank me multiple times.

  "Want to play with us?" She looked up at me. How could I say no to a face like that?

  "Of course. Can my friends play too?" I asked roping Nick and the others into it as well. Judging by Nick’s smile, he didn't mind.

  "Yes!" She squealed out and went to drag me along with her.

  A hand wrapped around mine pulling me off balance for a moment. I looked back to see Ollie holding onto me. I sent him a questioning look. "You said you would stay beside me." He reminded me. I smiled brilliantly at him. His small smile held relief in return.

  "Always," I nodded at him. "But we have to play a game first."

  "She decided this for us without asking." Nick teased.

  "You would have joined in anyway." Raynor pointed out.

  I was laughing with the others when the voices around us grew quiet. A man had just stepped out of the hut in front of us. He was tall like Nick and Raynor and broad-shouldered with a lean build. His hair was long, and a headband was around his head that was different from the ones most others seemed to be wearing. It had multiple feathers sticking straight up that seemed to soften his grim face. I knew before Ollie tightened his grip that we were looking at the Chief. Weetamoo and Aska's father.

  We held still as the Chief approached us, not giving anything away in his expression. Raynor inched closer to me and I noticed Isaake shuffling on the other side of Ollie. They were prepared for whatever reaction we were going to receive. I held my chin up preparing myself. I would be whatever Ollie needed me to be right now.

  There seemed to be a collective inhale right before the Chief was within touching distance. He threw his arms out wide and I tightened my stance fulling expecting a fight to break out before me. When the arms of the Chief encircled Ollie and pulled him tight into an embrace a squeak left my lips at the surprise.

  "My son." The gravelly voice came from the Chief. He clasped Ollie to him with such care and Ollie's hand trembled in my own. "Welcome back." My hand was released as Ollie embraced the Chief in return. It was humbling to be able to watch both of them heal each other through the recounted old wounds, together.

  24

  Aska's home was full of life, love, and happiness. I was enraptured by the feeling and never wanted to leave. If things didn't work out with the village, I had all intentions on asking the tribe to kidnap me next.

  "You're not even trying!" Eliza laughed at Raynor.

  He was fumbling with a stick that had a circular vine attached by a string. The game was toss and catch. We had to toss the circle up and try to catch it on the stick. I wasn't sure if Raynor was fumbling on purpose or was truly not any good with the game.

  I found it easy and stopped to watch Raynor just as all the children were doing. The little boy with Eliza was encouraging him to do better. I couldn't stop laughing at him.

  "Gadzooks, it’s not that funny!" Raynor stopped tossing the circle to glare at me. I could see the playful look in his eyes showing me that he was not actually angry.

  "Cindy thinks your silly!" Eliza called out holding her doll close to her. She looked so much more like a child now that she wasn't forced to be how the village expected her.

  Aska was smiling beside us as she sat with the other men. Ollie was close to the chief and the two had not separated since we arrived. I really needed to ask his name soon.

  A commotion from a nearby hut pulled my attention. A woman was sitting things outside of her hut and a man was standing there speaking rapidly to her. It didn't sound heated, more of a pleading conversation. Soon the woman went back inside the hut and didn't return with any more things. The man called out for a moment more before his shoulders hunched and he started picking up the bundles on the ground.

  Aska must have noticed my interest in the scene because she called out to me. "She says they are too different. He believes he can be what she needs, but she believes it is not meant to be." She shook her head in amusement. "He may be back within the year. Her mind changes with the seasons."

  "She just kicked him out?" I asked startled. With how marriage is viewed in the village I didn't believe anyone in this time believed in less than forever.

  "He is lucky." She spoke in humor. "He had a chance to say his peace. Normally she packs his things away while he is on a hunt. He comes home to find he needs a new home. We keep an empty wetu for him though." She winks. I guess this happens often. I laughed and went to join the others sitting down.

  "Wetu means hut doesn't it?"

  "The wetus are our homes." She pointed to the dome-like buildings. Once we had gotten closer, I had noticed the walls were actually made of bark from a tree. They were fascinating dwellings and looked surprisingly sturdy.

  "Maybe I should make a wetu for me." I joked thinking about where I would be soon enough.

  "We will take care of you," Isaake stated seriously. I looked over at him realizing he was listening in to the conversation. Nick was listening in and smiled in agreement when I looked his way.

  It was sweet the way they were promising to keep me safe, but unrealistic. I just knew something was going to happen to spoil the barely made plan of safety. I smiled regardless to reassure the men, so they didn't worry.

  Women were making their way back and forth through the woods in pairs with food bundled into baskets as we were playing with the children. I saw a set of women now who were shucking corn just beyond the children. My stomach growled reminding me of the scarce lunch from earlier.

  "Would you like to eat with us? I was meant to tell the story tonight, but I can ask father to take my place and I'll tell you in English what he says."

  "Your father speaks English though." I was confused about why she would need to tell me what he was saying.

  "Not everyone here does. We learn, but some of us like to stick to our roots. We don't always have the best relationship with the white man." She winced and I wondered what she had seen between the two people. History has taught me that it doesn't end well and that they have already had a long journey due to the "white man".

  I nodded in acceptance as my stomach rumbled again. A blush made its way to my face as Aska laughed. I didn't want to start begging for food when I came here as a visitor, so I tried to think of other things to get my mind off of the time until dinner. Mind over matter, right? Or mind over food?

  "I'll get you something to hold you over." Aska laughed again as she got up to retrieve a snack.

  "Aska could you actually see about getting Ollie something as well? We didn't get a chance to eat much earlier." I thought to ask before she left. She nodded as she made her way to a wetu. I probably should have asked to help her. I wasn't thinking past the idea of food.

  Raynor plopped down beside me in Aska's empty spot. "You left me to fend for myself.” He grumbled.

  "You were fine." I patted his leg. "Well, you were actually doing terrible, but physically you were fine." I teased.

  "Now, now. He got two catches. That's a new record." Nick boasted.

  "One would have been a new record." Isaake chimed in. "Two was a miracle." Raynor sneered at the two as we laughed in his expense.

  "I can't tell if they're serious or not," I admitted. He just winked at me without answering the question.

  Aska came back with something that looks like beef jerky. "This should hold you over." She smiled before making her way to Ollie. I saw her try to give him the jerky and he grimaced. "Your woman said you need to eat." She shoved the jerky at him and rolled her eyes as he hesitantly took it from her. I blushed at the woman comment and was baffled when he or the guys didn't defend against it.

  "You really don't want to eat that," Raynor whispered to me. I looked the food over not
understanding what was wrong with it.

  "Why?" I drug the question out.

  "It's almost as bad as your cooking." He stated.

  "It's different than we are used to is all," Isaake spoke up tuning into our conversation. "It's called pemmican. Meat mashed together with melted fat and dried. It's good for you though. Keeps you from going hungry."

  "It's gross." Nick seemed to agree with his brother on this.

  I looked over to Ollie who was chewing on the food from the meat stick with a strange look on his face. Aska was now sitting on the other side of her father and was looking amused watching him. I looked at my stick. Fuck it, it's food and it's good for me.

  I chewed a chunk off preparing for the worst. And chewed. And chewed. It was hard to work through and I immediately regretted taking such a big bite. A laugh burst out from Aska and I opened my eyes not realizing I had closed them.

  All the guys were holding in their amusement like they were afraid of getting caught. Aska and the chief had no such qualms as they both released hearty laughter as if I just made their day. Eventually, the guys couldn't hold it in either and burst out.

  I couldn't figure out what I was tasting which didn't help with how much I needed to chew to get it down. It was like a dried up salisbury steak from those frozen dinner packages, but there was something else to it that added a sweetness to the grease. Baffling that it was tart too. Finally, I was able to swallow the mouthful. I eyed the rest much more carefully.

  "This is just meat?" I questioned wondering what was causing the sweetness. Is that what grease taste like? Aska was shaking her head as she wiped tears from her eyes.

  "Blueberries." She wheezed out. "I add blueberries." I looked warily at the pemmican. It wasn't the worst thing I had tasted, but it wasn’t the best either.

  I nibbled on the rest trying to eat what I could and be grateful for it. Even if I wanted to be childish and hand it back. It helped that Ollie suffered with me.

  "You alright there, sugar?" Nick asked me as I rubbed my belly and swayed.

  "Full. Tired." I admitted ready for bed. Nick and Raynor laughed at me.

  Ollie and Isaake were still saying their goodbyes to the chief and Aska. We were giving them their privacy as we made our way through the trees. Raynor put his arm around my shoulders so I could lean into him to keep me upright.

  "Need me to carry you?" His deep voice was soothing as his chest rumbled against me. I nodded my head before shaking it in a no instead.

  "I should walk." I sighed out disappointedly. "I need to walk off this food belly. I shouldn't have eaten so much. But it was so good." I complained.

  "If you change your mind let me know." Raynor kept his arm around me and I was grateful for the support.

  "Hey, guys? Who was Weetamoo to Isaake?" I questioned not thinking about filtering my thoughts. Food babies take too much room and clearly thoughts go out the window when I'm full and tired. I saw the guys share a look over my head.

  "I think we already had the conversation about not telling another's story," Raynor commented.

  I winced thinking about earlier when Ollie heard us talking about him. Just like earlier I wanted to argue that I already knew some of the story, but I held myself back. The men were right and if I wanted to know I needed to ask Isaake.

  "You're right," I admitted. Looking around we were surrounded by trees and darkness. "Are we lost?" I questioned not seeing any sign of the tribe we just left from. "Will the guys be able to find us?"

  "Don't worry. If we get lost, then I'll just call out to them and we will find our way back." Nick tapped his head.

  "Maybe we should stop and wait for them."

  "If you wish to." Raynor stopped walking and Nick followed suit.

  "The clearing is just up ahead if you want to stop there instead." Nick pointed forward the way we were going.

  "Here is fine." I dismissed the idea, perfectly happy to stay closer to the others. "Not sure I trust your mind speaking powers to go too far." I teased.

  Nick guffawed. "I could speak to them from anywhere in the world, thank you very much!" He puffed up his chest proud of himself.

  "Hmm. But how much of that static noise will drown out your words?" I was curious to learn more about his gift.

  "Static noise?" Raynor asked confused.

  "That's how it sounds to other people," Nick informed him before turning his attention to me. "My gift works differently with them. It's clear and easy to reach out to those three." He nodded towards Raynor. "I'm not sure if it is because of the connection I already had with them or because I use the gift with them so much. Anyone else, I must work to use my gift on. It's why I try to touch you when I speak through your mind. It's also why it is noisier."

  I thought about his explanation before realizing something. "Try." I made up my mind. "Try to speak through my mind without touching me." Nick looked amused by my request, but I heard his voice a moment later anyway.

  "You look dead on your feet." He said clearly. There was a little white noise, but it was not enough to be distracting. I smirked, proud of myself for figuring something out. I tried to speak back to him through our connection.

  "Was that hard or easy to connect?"

  "I had to think about it." He canted his head wondering where I was going with this.

  "It is almost clear," I said in my head before speaking aloud. "I just thought about how noisy it was the first time you spoke to me and how there was less background noise each time. I think your gift gets easier each time you use it on a person."

  "It might. We should ask John. You've spoken to him plenty of times over the years." Raynor joined into the conversation now that it was aloud.

  Nick looked confused for a moment before he looked away. "Yeah, maybe." He said distractedly. "The guys are here." I looked behind me and saw Isaake and Ollie walking back to us.

  Ollie looked so much lighter now that he had conquered a fear today, but clearly was tired as well. He glanced at us and I thought I saw his eyes zero in on Raynor's arm around me, but that could have been my imagination.

  "Are we ready to leave?" Isaake asked joining us.

  "I think she is going to fall asleep on her feet soon if we don't." Nick teased turning back to us with a smile.

  "Need me to carry you?" Ollie asked surprising me.

  "She ate too much and wants to walk it off. I already asked." Raynor laughed as he answered for me.

  Ollie hummed a response and we started walking again. I leaned my weight into Raynor as he held me from the side, and we walked in a comfortable silence into the clearing we originally came out of.

  "Will you guys be okay getting us back?" I thought about how tired they looked the first time. Raynor's armed squeezed me reassuringly as Ollie answered.

  "You're more likely to pass out than any of us." Ollie teased.

  I stuck my tongue out at him. It was nice to have this version of him. I wonder if he will keep the playful side for a little while longer.

  "Oh, shit!" I called out, remembering what’s next and put my hands on my stomach. "I'm going to get sick, aren't I?"

  The others laughed around me, Raynor's shaking chest jostling me. I groaned in dismay. I may be too full, but I didn't want to lose the food that way. What a waste that would be.

  "We'll go easy on you." Raynor winked down at me. I have no idea why I felt heat go to my cheeks at those words. Nor, any idea why my thoughts went to Ollie and Raynor and how much I didn't mind them not going easy on me. I almost groaned again at that thought.

  Damn it! I was developing a crush and on more than one guy! No, I admitted to myself as I looked around at the men while the ground rumbled beneath our feet. I already had a crush on all of them.

  This was not going to end well when I had to eventually leave them. Even as my heart hurt at the thought, I knew I still would too. Because as much as the men were coming to mean to me, Abby still meant more. I wish I didn't have to choose.

  I set my pen down after wri
ting to Abby. I felt guilty for admitting my feelings towards the men. It felt wrong to be developing feelings when my focus should be only on her. I had to keep reminding myself that I was doing all I could right now and that she would understand.

  I plopped back covering my eyes before getting back up at the smell. I needed to bathe. Badly.

  I knocked on Raynor's door, the same one he used to change when I came over the first time. He looked like he had just fallen asleep when he opened the door shirtless. To think, I was pressed against all those muscles earlier. And you smelled bad during that too Tessa!

  "I need a bath!" I blurted causing Raynor to jump. A shower would be preferable, but what can you do?

  "Then take a bath." He rubbed his eyes waking himself up more.

  "Where? I don't see a tub in my room." I pointed out. He held the door open inviting me in.

  "Sorry, I'm still asleep." He pointed to a wooden tub before decided to just haul it up himself and carry it to my room. "I don't believe in that whole bathing too much gets you sick, thing." He said as a reason for why the tub was in his room.

  "People believe bathing too much makes you sick?" I questioned incredulously. Granny never mentioned my nightly baths as a strange occurrence. Then again, every room at the tavern had a tub. Maybe she never noticed me carrying buckets of water to my room every night. It could have easily been mistaken as me carrying them to a guest’s room.

  "Something about washing away oils." He murmured as he set down the tub and left the room. I called out behind him.

  "For the record, bathing helps keep you healthy. Science has come a long way in the future and that's a fact." He reentered the room with a bar of soap for me to use. "Keep clean.” I pointed to him in an ordering manner before accepting the soap.

  I didn't like the thought of people with bad hygiene. It sent a shudder through my body. I get that it’s not known right now, but the thought of the filth...Yeah, I need to change that thought process. Some of the people I have come across smell bad enough to curl your nails.