by Jamie Magee
“Charlie, you fought a demon and survived, and you’re apologizing for a few broken material things?”
“You know about that?” I asked, sure that she did.
“I felt it,” she answered, looking over me.
“Dad was there,” I said, looking around for any sign of him. I couldn't even hear his guitar anymore.
She nodded once. “I want you to pack, take what you think you need, and I don’t want you to come back to this house until I tell you that it’s safe.”
“What do you mean?” I asked nervously. “Can that demon come back?”
“If he does, you won’t be here.”
“What about Kara? She’ll be back on Monday.”
My mom moved her head slowly from side to side.
“What are you not saying?” I asked as every part of me tensed.
“Kara isn’t meeting an old friend in the city; she’s meeting Robert. By midnight, she’ll be on a flight to Paris.”
“What? Why didn’t she tell me?”
“She doesn’t know. I called Robert; we planned this.”
Robert was Kara’s husband. He was a journalist that worked overseas more than he worked here. Kara kept no secrets from him. He knew about me, about all of us. None of it bothered him; in fact, he found us fascinating.
“Why?”
“Because for her, it will be easier to say goodbye if she’s the one leaving.”
“Did you know I was leaving today? Tomorrow? What else do you know? What has Dad told you? Mom, don’t hide anything from me ... people could get hurt.”
“Charlie, I’ve felt this coming for a while, longer than I could explain to you right now. We just don’t have the time. You’re leaving here within hours; you’ll face your fate and see why the devil doesn’t want you to win.”
“I’m supposed to help those people, aren’t I?”
“And so many more.”
“That doesn’t make sense to me. How am I supposed to help the people that I’ve been waiting on to help me? It sounds more like the blind leading the blind.”
“Charlie, you have something they don’t.”
“What’s that?”
“Your memory.”
I let out a desperate gasp. “My memory? I barely remember all of this life, and what I remember of my past life is vague.”
“You will soon. All you have to do is ask the right questions. I know what you went through when you lost your memory was painful, confusing, but you have to understand that when darkness harms, karma comes into play. You survived that, and because you did, you taught yourself a valuable lesson.”
“What?” I asked breathlessly, knowing I knew nothing more than I did before.
“You can now open your mind. Explore lost moments and find the answers you need. Those who you are going to help can’t do that. You have the power to remember what they said to you, and once you master this, you’ll be able to go into past lives of others; you’ll be the one that helps everyone understand why they’re connected at this pivotal point in history.”
My heart began to hammer in my chest. What was she saying? I knew them before? Was Draven right about knowing that Prince?
“Maybe you’re not clear on how I remember, Mom. I have to have someone to spark the memory, the way Draven does with music.”
She look down and let out a gentle breath. “Who in your life right now can remember everything you did in your past lives? Who can spark that memory?”
Oh please Mom don’t push me in that direction. “Silas.”
She nodded.
“Mom, I don’t like being in the middle of him and Draven.”
She looked up at me. “You’re going to have find a comfortable place there for now, Charlie.”
“What do you know? Just tell me. I don’t care if you think it’s better for me to learn on my own or not. Please don’t make this hard on me.”
She reached her arm around me. “I would never do anything to hurt you. Me and your father have done everything we possibly could to prepare you for this day.” She sighed. “I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything,” I said, trying to hold back tears.
“No matter what you learn, what you see, what you hear, never forget that your father and I have no regrets, that we love you and that we’re proud of you.”
I felt my stomach drop.
“Mom, how come I feel like you’re telling me goodbye for good? I thought you said I could see you anytime -- did you just say that so I would go?”
Her eyes glassed over. “No, I meant it when I said it,” she said as she tried to smile. “I’m very human, Charlie, and sometimes I lie to myself. Whether you can see me or not, I’m right here,” she said as she touched my chest. “Right now, you have more to worry about than coming home.”
“Mom, if I can’t see you, then I’ll just find those boys in The Realm from here. I’m not leaving you alone.”
“You have to help them from where they are, and when that battle is over, there will be another, and then another.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I said, looking down.
“You know more than you think you do. The damned hear you, they listen to you.” She moved a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You’re going to have to teach them. I’m not asking you to walk into another world and take control; I’m asking you to go into another world and teach them what you can do. No matter how intense any situation is, use it, use it to teach them. When you do that, you’re pushing them years in front of where they are.”
“How do you know this? If this is Willow and Landen, they’re kids just like us.”
“Spirits talk, baby, and it’s been made very clear to me that you’re at the forefront of this. You teach them what you know and let them teach what they know, then grow together.”
“That doesn’t really sound that hard, Mom. Why do you look so nervous?”
Here eyes searched over my fearful expression. “Because you’ll learn and teach on a battlefield, all of your emotions will be in play. You have to understand that your weakness is your love for Draven. This darkness will play with your heart, every emotion just to distract you, and I have no doubt it’s doing it to those people you’re going to help. Hold on to your convictions, never -- and I mean never -- make a deal with the devil on anyone’s behalf.”
I had to look away. I knew I couldn't make that promise, that I would I sacrifice part of myself to save Draven, that I’d gladly take whatever place Madison had in all of this, and that I would defend Monroe, her innocence, with my last breath.
“Charlie, I mean it,” my mom said as she put her hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be a decoy. You have to know that you can’t save anyone that doesn’t want to be saved, that whatever bargain you make will do no one any good; in fact, it’ll be a victory for what you fight against.”
“Just tell me what to do. What do I do right now?”
She forced a smile. “You’re going to walk out of this bathroom, you’re going to pack your bags, and you’re not going to look back until you’ve won.”
“What am I supposed to tell Kara?”
“I imagine she’ll call you and tell you she’s boarding a plane. Tell her goodbye. Robert will take care of her.”
I nodded and wiped away a tear that tried to escape.
“I love you, Mom,” I whispered.
She reached her arms around me and hugged me as tightly as she could. “Love you, little one,” she said. And with those words, her image faded.
A dark sense of foreboding came over me. I didn’t know if it was the innocent fear that I’d just told my mother goodbye forever or the fear of what was to come. All I knew was that I wanted out of this house, the faster the better. I could swear the air had grown colder, that someone - or something - was watching me.
Chapter Seven
I grabbed my things from the bathroom and took them to the bag I’d started to pack from before. I pulled another bag down and threw more clothes i
nto it, then ran upstairs and grabbed my phone charger. I thought about taking a guitar, but I couldn’t bring myself to; I thought by doing that I was assuring that I would never return.
I ran my bag down the stairs to my old room. Monroe had her bag over her shoulder, and Madison was zipping hers up.
We loaded my car with our things. As I closed the trunk, I looked at Madison. “Look, just take your car to your mom’s and have dinner. The faster you get to Draven’s, the faster we can talk this out as a group.”
“I’m going with you to talk to Silas.”
My eyes grew wide with shock. “What? What makes you think I’m going to talk to him?”
“I know your emotions better than mine. I know how you feel when you think of him or think you’re going to see him.”
“And how is that? How does he make me feel?” I asked, knowing I was coming unraveled by the moment.
“Nervous. A good, safe nervous, like you find comfort with him but are afraid of that emotion.”
I balled my fist and took in a deep breath. “Why are you being so selective with the emotions of mine you choose to talk about?” I asked, wanting more than anything to get everything I knew out in the open.
She just stared back at me.
“Fine, then I guess we’ve both silently agreed that those emotions I have, the ones we aren’t talking about, are too much for you to handle. I guess we both have decided that I’m going to do what I have to do to make what’s coming at you as easy as possible.”
“Nothing is coming at me that isn’t coming at you.”
“You know that’s not true.”
She began to walk to her car, but she hesitated. “Charlie, I know myself. I know what I have to think and do in order to walk forward. If I change the way I’m thinking right now, I don’t know that I can leave with you. I don’t know that I can tell my parents and Britain goodbye. I’m trying to walk forward and not run like a coward.”
“If you love him, stay here,” I said before I could stop myself.
Madison hit the ‘UNLOCK’ key on her car. “Follow me to Mom’s, then we’ll look for Silas.”
I let out a frustrated breath. Monroe had crawled into the backseat of my car. I got in and locked eyes with her in my mirror.
“Are you OK?” I asked. She nodded. “You’re not scared that I’m going to send you with Austin? That you may go alone?”
She looked down and twirled her rings on her hand. I put the car in reverse and followed Madison down the driveway. “I won’t let you go if you tell me not to. If I ever put you in danger, you have to stop me,” I said, glancing in the mirror at her. She didn’t bother to look up.
I bit my bottom lip as I pulled into Madison’s driveway. She was on the phone with her mom when she climbed into the passenger seat. I backed out and turned toward the park that was just down the street. I had no idea how I’d get Silas to come to me, but I figured that would be the best spot to try.
The sun had just set. It was dark, but there was still a hint of orange in the sky as I pulled into the vacant parking lot.
“Is this where we rendezvous?” Madison asked as I parked.
“It’s the best idea I have right now,” I mumbled. “I don’t know why you came. I don’t think he’ll open up to me with you around.”
“I’ll stay in the car. I just came to give you a foothold.”
“What?”
“I don’t want him to make you forget who you are in this life. I’m a reminder of that.”
“According to my mom, I need to remember the past in order to fight what we’re against.”
“I’ve heard that before,” she said quietly.
I knew she was talking about Britain. “Does he know what’s going on?”
“Yup.”
“And...?
“He doesn’t want us to go. He thinks it’s a trap.”
I reached for the door handle. “I’m going to try and figure out what the opposing side has to offer on that point of view.”
“Good luck,” Madison said as she reached for her phone and dialed a number.
I glanced at Monroe as I closed the door; she seemed entirely too calm for my comfort. I pushed my hands into the pockets of my hoodie as I walked across the field.
“Silas,” I said quietly when I’d almost reached the water that centered the park. “I may be leaving soon. I’d bet that you already knew that, that you know a lot more, and I really want your advice. I need your help.”
I assumed he would appear at that moment, but he didn’t. I almost thought I felt him, the calm he had, but I couldn't be sure.
“I need you to help me remember more. I need you to tell me my dreams aren’t a warning -- and if they are, tell me how I’m going to survive this ... how everyone is.”
“You’re not going to die,” I heard him say softly.
I turned around to see him inches from me, his eyes glowing ever so slightly. The calm he usually carried with him was there, but not nearly as strong. I could tell he was concerned, maybe even afraid.
“Right. Well, my dreams say differently,” I said, letting out an uneasy breath.
His eyes cascaded over me as understanding filled them.
“Why do I dream of ash? Why do I think you’re there? Why am I mad at you?” I asked, fearing his answer, not wanting to hear his promise of Draven’s death.
He glanced at the pond, then back at me. “Tell me what you dream,” he said as he took my hand and began to lead me to an old oak tree a few feet away.
“Nothing that’s clear,” I said, feeling the familiar guilt I had at his side. “A different time ... place ... ash.”
As we reached the oak tree, he took off his jacket and laid it down for me to sit on.
“I don’t want you to be cold,” I said, trying to stop him.
He smiled sardonically as his honey eyes glided across my face. “I don’t get cold anymore.”
“What are you?” I asked, sitting down.
He sat down next to me and gazed at the moon above us. “I thought you wanted to talk about your dreams?” he said quietly as he leaned back against the tree.
I pushed my hands in my pockets and looked down at my lap as I relaxed against the tree. “I want to talk about it all. I want to understand. I want to know what’s coming, what’s already happened, how I can help those boys Bianca has.”
“Close your eyes,” he whispered.
I moved my head from side to side. “You’re not kissing me ... I don’t need another reason to fight with Draven.”
“Are we fighting?” he said smugly.
“Stop it. You know we are. Why did you tell him that you’d kill him if he came near me in The Realm? You have no right to say something like that. You’ve made him terrified to love me.”
“I told him no such thing. I only assured him that I wouldn’t allow him to hurt you there – that I’d stop him. He made me promise that.”
“After you described in utter detail what he could do to me, I’m sure that’s when he made you promise that. That’s when you promised you would end his existence.”
He glanced at the moon again. “You know, if you wanted to die so you could be with me again, I would almost understand -- but that’s not the case. Even if it was, I wouldn’t let you die ... I refuse to watch that again.”
“I don’t want to die. I want to help him. Save him. I want to free the shadows. I want to heal the dammed. Fight for the weak -- and that’s extremely difficult if the two of you are always standing in my way.”
“No one’s standing in your way,” he said firmly.
“What do you call it then? Draven not wanting me in The Realm. You with all your secrets. I feel useless. I refuse to feel that way. I am who I am for a reason – both of you need to understand that.”
“We understand. You don’t.”
“Then tell me.”
“Close your eyes.”
“If you kiss me, I’m leaving.”
“If I kiss you �
�� you won’t be able to leave,” he said boldly.
For the first time, I felt fear at his side, and I was regretting that l listened to my mom and tried to find a comfortable place between him and Draven.
When he saw my expression, sadness filled his gaze. “I’m not going to kiss you – promise.”
I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes. When he took my hand I felt the calm his touch always had.
“Remember your dream,” he whispered.
I let images of the screaming people ... the rocks falling from the sky ... the innocents that followed me all of it come to mind. I coughed as the memory of the toxic air came to me.
“What happened before that ash, Charlie?” he asked. “When did your eyes meet mine for the first time?”
I let his words linger in my mind. A gasp escaped my lips. I understood clearly for the first time that this dream was in the past, not in a dark future. Understanding that I found confidence, I began to open my mind, to let lost memories of a past life ignite within it.
The dream moved backwards at lightning speed. The terror left, and happiness was on the faces of the people around me. The air was pure. I could smell the salt from the waters close by ... I could see the stars. They were so clear that there wasn’t a single light that would cause them to vanish. This city was in a past that I’d only read about ... it reminded me of Rome.
I saw myself tiptoeing down a wide stone hallway, listening intently for anyone who may still be awake. My confidence grew as I assured myself that the late hour had given me the solitude I wanted. I stepped into an open room. A large pool was centered within it – it was a bathing pool, but it wasn’t one that I was supposed to be in. It was the one for the men. I felt my rebellious soul want to bathe there, even though I knew it was forbidden. I also knew that even though no one would ever know that I dipped into this pool, I’d won. I’d stepped out of the boundaries set before me, something I tended to do often.
I couldn’t see the entire pool; just the center where the moonlight shined. I unclasped my white gown and let it fall to the stone floor. The air was warm, as warm as the hottest summer day, but a night breeze threatened to bring chills to my skin. I stepped forward and slowly descended into the warm water.