Hush

by Kate White

  She ended up waiting ten minutes outside Sherman’s closed-door office, and she suspected that Brie had purposely rushed her. When the door finally opened, a young couple emerged. The husband looked stricken, ashamed almost, and Lake wondered if they’d just been told their infertility issue rested with him.

  Sherman was in his early sixties, and he was blunt-spoken and humorless. He had yellowed gray hair, a bulbous nose, and pale, almost translucent skin. As he rambled on imperiously, Lake took notes, trying to concentrate, but her thoughts kept being tugged away. To the meeting with Hotchkiss. And then, against her will, to Keaton. Where was she headed with this thing? she wondered. Would she really go for a drink with him?

  There were all kinds of reasons why she should turn and run the other way, not least of which was the warning from Hotchkiss. Well, she didn’t really have to think about locking herself up until the kids came home from camp, right? In the meantime, couldn’t she enjoy the dance? Even if Keaton was one of those love-’em-and-leave-’em types-as she had no doubt he was.

  “The most viable embryos survive to the fifth day of incubation,” she heard Sherman say, and she made an attempt to refocus. “That’s what we call the blastocyst stage. A blastocyst transfer allows us to place only one or two of the most viable embryos into the uterus. That not only improves embryo selection but it reduces the chances of multiple births. No decent doctor wants to be responsible for an ‘octomom’ situation. Any questions?”

  “Uh, I think I’m set for now,” Lake said. “I’m pretty familiar with all these procedures from the background materials you provided.”

  Sherman seemed as happy to end the meeting as Lake was. It was clear they weren’t going to be the best of friends, but no matter-that wouldn’t get in the way of Lake doing her job.

  On her way back to the conference room, Lake casually looked for Keaton but didn’t find him. The door to Harry Kline’s office was open, though, and she peered in to say hello. She’d enjoyed the few conversations she’d had with him-he had that shrink way of seeming intrigued by every word that came out of your mouth. But he wasn’t in his office.

  “I heard he left early,” one of the older nurses, Emily, said quietly behind her. “Some sort of personal emergency.”

  Lake returned to her articles in the conference room and after an hour more of reading and note taking was ready to call it quits. As she walked to the storage room to return the reading materials to the files, she kept an eye out for Keaton. There was still no sign of him. Retracing her steps, she spotted Steve in the doorway of the small conference room, obviously looking for her. It was amazing how much he resembled his sister, Sonia. They were half Belgian, half Pakistani, and both extremely attractive.

  “There you are,” he said. “How’s it going?”

  “Good,” she said. “I’m really enjoying the project, Steve.”

  “I knew you were the perfect choice. By the way, we’re having a dinner tonight in honor of Mark Keaton. How about joining us?”

  “Thanks, but I should make it an early night,” she said. It’d been a knee-jerk response, and part of her instantly regretted it.

  “We hardly plan to push on till dawn,” he said. “Come on-it’ll be fun. Besides, Dr. Keaton wanted me to ask you.”

  She shrugged, trying to seem indifferent to his comment.

  “Okay, why not,” she said, smiling. “I appreciate the invitation.”

  They were going to Balthazar, he said. In SoHo. Eight o’clock.

  As she walked up Park Avenue ten minutes later, Lake couldn’t contain her excitement. In her mind she imagined sitting next to Keaton tonight, feeling those eyes trained on her again. After this miserable year, I deserve a night like this, she told herself. For a moment, Hotchkiss’s warning flashed in her mind. But wasn’t this exactly what the man had suggested? Socializing in groups? Plus, the kids were still away. No harm to be done.

  Back home she fixed a late lunch, faxed the kids, and, because her part-time assistant was off on her honeymoon, took care of paperwork. At close to seven, she began rummaging for an outfit. She tried on and discarded black pants and a crisp white shirt; a flowy skirt and blouse; the same blouse with a denim pencil skirt.

  Finally, her bed strewn with clothes, she chose a coral sundress, burnished gold sandals, and gold hoop earrings. The dress was striking with her long brown hair and showed off a little cleavage. She felt slightly wicked-like she was sixteen and had just shoplifted a lipstick from the drugstore. Before leaving, she grabbed a lightweight trench, not sure what the weather would be later on.

  All the way down the West Side Highway, as the taxi’s AC hummed like white noise, she replayed the scene with Keaton in the conference room, his body just inches away from her. Was he just being his flirty self or did he want to take things further? Did she want to take things further? The thought of what further meant made her blush.

  As the cab exited at Canal Street, she remembered Hotchkiss’s other warning-about being followed-and glanced out the back window. There were no cars behind her cab. She half-laughed at her paranoia.

  She was the last of the group to arrive at Balthazar. The only seat left was at the foot of the table-next to Steve and across from Dr. Thomas Levin, the clinic’s other partner. Keaton was at the opposite end, next to Steve’s wife, Hilary. In between were Sherman; Dr. Catherine Hoss, the clinic’s senior embryologist; Hoss’s date; Matt Perkins, a doctor who’d recently joined the practice; Perkins’s preppy-looking wife; and Levin’s blond, Botoxed trophy bride, her arms lined with jeweled bangles. Keaton politely nodded his head in greeting, and that was it. In the cavernous French bistro with its whirring overhead fans, she couldn’t even hear the conversation at his end of the table.

  Lake pulled in a breath, trying to squelch her irritation. She’d imagined sitting next to Keaton, talking to him, maybe even accidentally feeling his leg against hers under the table. But it wasn’t going to happen. Suddenly she had little interest in conversation with a bunch of people she barely knew. Why had she bothered to come?

  But Levin soon made it easy for her. In the office he’d seemed arrogant and at times brusque, but tonight he let her see his suave, charming side. He was about the same age as Sherman and yet handsome, dashing almost-with thick gray hair, a hawklike nose, and unruly eyebrows that added a bohemian touch to the polished image. He wanted to know what had brought her to New York, where she had learned the best lessons about marketing, and what she thought really gave people an edge in business today. All the while he listened intently. Eventually Steve and Dr. Hoss’s boorish date joined in. As they swapped stories, Lake let herself relax against the red banquette, luxuriating in the taste of the great Bordeaux and the breeze from the overhead fan on her bare shoulders. At one point all three men seemed to be hanging on her every word. It had been ages since she’d enjoyed that kind of experience.

  As the appetizers were being served, she glanced slyly down to Keaton’s end of the table, thinking she’d catch his eye. But she didn’t. A few minutes later she tried again-with no luck this time either. She hated how disappointed she felt. Had he just been toying with her earlier? But then why suggest to Steve she join the group tonight? As she ate, she saw that Hilary had turned all her attention Keaton’s way, cocking her head back and forth like a titmouse at a bird feeder.

  After the main course, a few people asked for coffee. Lake let her eyes stray to Keaton’s end of the table again. This time, to her shock, he looked directly at her. He pulled his body back in his seat and held her eyes. Desire flooded through every inch of her.

  Now what? she wondered. She pretended to fumble in her purse for something but she was just trying to think. Finally she turned to Levin.

  “Excuse me,” she said to him. “I need to sneak to the ladies’ room.” It was insane, she knew, but she longed for Keaton to follow.

  To her complete annoyance, Catherine Hoss got up, too. Just perfect, Lake thought. But rather than head for the restroom, Hoss ste
pped outside the restaurant. Through the paneled windows Lake saw her pull a cell phone from her purse. Lake was struck by how attractive Hoss was out of her lab coat and with her black hair loose around her shoulders rather than pinned tightly in her usual French twist.

  After edging past the restaurant’s zinc bar, Lake descended the stairs to a dimly lit lounge. She entered the ladies’ room and patted fresh foundation over the faint trace of her birthmark. In the mirror she saw that her cheeks were deep pink, as if she’d spent the night huddled over a bonfire. She felt almost woozy with excitement from Keaton’s last look.

  As she tugged open the door, her mind pleaded-please let him be there. And he was. He stood in the lounge, glancing at the screen of his phone. As she emerged he looked up and smiled-as if this were just a chance meeting. God, she thought, the guy had all the moves down.

  “So, how were things at your end?” he asked. “You had the pleasure of sitting next to Dr. Thomas Levin, fertility rock star.”

  There was an odd edge to his words.

  “He’s an interesting guy,” Lake said. “Was he the main reason you chose this practice-because of his reputation?”

  “Good question. But one that may be moot at this point.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There’s been a little snag in the plan. This may not be the best place for me after all.”

  “Wait-you’re not joining the clinic?” Lake asked, completely taken aback.

  “You sound sorry,” Keaton said, his voice teasing.

  “Well, I’m sorry if you’re in any kind of a difficult situation.”

  “You know what would take the sting out?” he said with a smile. She knew what was coming.

  “What?” she asked quietly.

  “Having a drink later with you. Without all the other revelers.”

  “I’d like that,” she said. Her boldness surprised her.

  “Why don’t you come to my place,” he said. “It’s just around the corner-at 78 Crosby. I’ll leave first and you can head over after.”

  A drink at his place. She could no longer have any doubts about where this was going. Her heart pounded as she thought about being with him and what it would be like to completely let go. If she didn’t take advantage of this moment, who knew when she’d be able to risk something like this again. Once the kids were back home, she would have to play the nun as Hotchkiss had advised.

  “All right,” she replied, “sounds good.”

  He smiled again and slipped into the men’s room without a word.

  “So, Jack, how’s that for spontaneity?” Lake thought as she started up the stairs.

  3

  THE COFFEE WAS being served when she returned to the table. As she took a sip of her cappuccino, Keaton slipped back into his seat. At the same moment she saw Steve give his wife a let’s-get-out-of-here look, but Hilary pretended not to notice. The group suddenly grew quiet.

  “This has been a terrific night,” Keaton announced to the table. “I really appreciate your doing this in my honor.”

  “Well, we’re thrilled to have you with us,” Dr. Hoss said, her chin raised. For Hoss the comment was positively effusive. She had the manner of someone who’d grown up affluent and never felt the need to simply make nice.

  “Would anyone care for an after-dinner drink?” Levin asked. He made it sound less like an invitation than a signal that the evening needed to come to an end.

  “I’m afraid I should get home,” Keaton said. “Would you excuse me for bolting now? I have a call to make to a patient on the West Coast.”

  As he stood and said goodbye, he grabbed Lake’s eyes briefly, and to her dismay, she saw Hilary catch the look and weigh it. The last thing Lake wanted was any gossip. She took her time leaving, waiting until Levin paid the check and hanging back until all but Dr. Perkins and his wife remained.

  “Which way are you going?” Perkins asked Lake as they walked toward the front of the restaurant with her.

  “Upper West Side,” she said, praying they were bound for some Jersey suburb, which would require them to head for the Holland Tunnel.

  “We’re on Central Park West. You’re welcome to share our taxi.”

  “Oh, thank you, no. I need to stop at a deli.”

  “Well, at least let us drop you part of the way,” Perkins said.

  “Thank you, but you go ahead,” Lake urged, ready to bite their heads off. “I have to make a call first anyway.”

  Lake rustled in her purse, faking a search for her cell phone. After giving them two minutes, she headed outside, her trench coat flung over her arm. Glancing at her watch, she saw that close to fifteen minutes had passed since Keaton’s departure, and she suddenly felt frantic to get going.

  She swung left outside the restaurant and hurried along Spring Street. It was only when she reached Broadway that she realized she’d gone the wrong way. Cursing, she dashed back to the restaurant and then up to Crosby. On a hunch, she turned left, crossing the street.

  A few doors up the dark, canyon-like street she saw by the numbers that her guess had been right. Number 78 turned out to be a quarter of the way up the block, an unassuming twelve-or thirteen-story building that might have once held small factories on each floor before being converted into apartments when SoHo became fashionable to live in. The exterior was sooty with age, as if they still burned coal in New York. There was a small vestibule and beyond that, behind a locked door, was a nondescript lobby with no doorman. She looked behind her and glimpsed people walking along Spring Street. But Crosby was deserted.

  As soon as she stepped inside the vestibule and saw the intercom panel, she let out a groan. She’d never asked Keaton for an apartment number. He was probably subletting and his name wouldn’t be on the buzzer. Her eyes raced down the two rows of buttons. To her relief, she spotted his name next to PH2.

  “Hi there,” he answered after she’d pressed the button. “Come on up. Penthouse 2. On twelve.”

  The buzzer sounded, nearly making her jump. She pushed the door and stepped inside the lobby. One wall was mirrored, which made the space seem bigger than it was, and she glanced at her reflection. Her cheeks were less flushed but still pink. I’m really going to do this, she thought. She felt nervous but also nearly drunk with anticipation. It had been ages since she’d felt seductive or yearned for-or charged with desire.

  She half-expected music to be playing (please don’t let it be Barry White, she prayed), but when Keaton answered the door of his apartment-smiling, his jacket off and shirtsleeves rolled-it was absolutely silent behind him.

  “I was beginning to worry that you’d opted for a crème brûlée instead of an after-dinner drink with me,” he said. He was teasing her, she knew. He was the kind of guy who would never be bested by a crème brûlée. He accepted her coat and she followed him into the apartment.

  The place was beyond anything she could have predicted from the lobby down below-a double-height loft with open living, dining, and kitchen areas, all decorated in whites and beiges. A staircase led up to a bookcase-lined mezzanine. And, most spectacular of all: a large terrace beyond French doors. There were a few soft lights on out there and she could see teak tables and chairs, a couple of chaise longues, and several box trees.

  “This is fantastic,” she said. “You must be subletting, right?” As she set her purse down at the far end of a creamy white sofa, she noticed the hallway that shot off to the left, most likely to the bedroom. Her heart knocked against her chest.

  “No, I actually bought it six months ago-I knew I was coming back to New York one way or another. What would you like to drink? I’ve got white wine chilled. Or would you prefer cognac?”

  “Cognac sounds good,” she said.

  Keaton laid her trench coat across the arm of the sofa and walked to the kitchen area. While he had his back to her, Lake surveyed the space. Though it was still sparsely decorated, there were a few stunning pieces. On one wall was a striking abstract painting of a man with an e
longated head. She stepped closer. Below it was a sleek side table with a primitive wooden bowl sitting on top. She glanced inside the bowl. Nestled at the bottom were a few coins and an ATM slip. Also a business card from a woman named Ashley Triffin, an event planner. And a scrap of paper with the name Melanie Turnbull scrawled on it. Well, she thought, I knew he was a player.

  “Here you go,” Keaton said, walking up with their drinks. As she accepted the glass, she saw that his arms were tan, muscular, and covered with hair so light it looked like it had been bleached by sunlight. “Why don’t we go out to the terrace?”

  He opened one of the French doors and motioned her outside. The view was mainly north-to a dazzling, glittering midtown, endless rooftops and wooden water tanks. All set against a blue-black sky. She could hear the faint hum of traffic twelve stories below and the sporadic blare of a car horn.

  “I feel like I’m looking at Oz,” she said as a soft breeze lifted the back of her hair. “It seems almost unreal.”

  “I’ve practically lived out here this summer,” he said. “One night I even dragged a sleeping bag onto a lounge chair and slept here.”

  “Is that safe? I mean, it is the middle of Manhattan.”

  “There’s no access from anywhere but my apartment-though I guess Spider-Man could reach it.”

  She smiled and walked over to the outside wall, peering over.

  “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?” he asked. She smelled his musky cologne as he came up slowly behind her.

  “No,” she said. “Not heights.”

  “Ahh, but something?”

  “A crazy little phobia. Not what you’d expect.” She couldn’t believe she was going to confess it. But she felt reckless with him.

  “So you’re true to your name, then? Still waters run deep.”

  “I don’t know how deep it is.” She took a sip of her cognac. “I have this weird fear of clowns.”

  “Clowns?” he said, looking intrigued. “Does that mean you’ve never taken your kids to Ringling Brothers’ circus?”