by Anna Adams
“It must, or he would have gone…” Greta straightened in the middle of pounding a sofa cushion into the exact configuration she judged most comfortable. “Where does he live?”
“Here.” She knew Gran meant where had he lived before, but his place was here now. They could have worked on being together. He’d made changes. She was no less mature. But maybe he didn’t want her to change. Maybe he also only gave a person one chance to tell an extended hurtful lie. He didn’t even trust her to change, and she couldn’t blame him. She’d been the same.
She couldn’t help being terrified that the people she loved best would desert her. And in the end, he had.
She had to be honest—she’d given him a shove. But if she had it to do over again, she’d sign the first thirty-year mortgage she could find on the dotted line. If that was what it took to make him happy.
Only that wasn’t right, either, to keep on pretending she really felt the kind of trust that had always eluded her, just to make him happy.
As her dad came down the stairs, Sophie worked her way onto the cushions Greta had pummeled. Chloe stretched and moaned in her sleep, but settled into Sophie’s arms. “I half expected to find Mom here when we drove up, Dad.”
He scooped a brass pineapple off the mantel and began to fiddle with it. “I’d like to talk to you about Nita.” He glanced at Greta. “Alone for a minute, Mother?”
“Oh.” She seemed surprised.
“Mother,” Ethan said again when she didn’t move.
She stirred. “I’ll make lunch.”
“What’s wrong, Dad?” Sophie made room for him beside her.
“About your mom—you know I’ve spent a lot of time here with her and Ian while you were working.”
“She was only here for two weeks.” Dread filled Sophie’s mouth with a bitter taste.
“You don’t want us to get along?”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.” Didn’t he remember what had ended their marriage?
“I know her now. She knows me. She wants to make up for how she was with you. And with me.”
“How do you know? I mean, she was polite to Ian’s parents even though they don’t seem to know what they want with him, and she tried to be a mom to me, but she’s still got those empty spots in her character where normal maternal instincts are supposed to be.”
“Knowing that, neither of us can get hurt again,” her dad said. His earnest look softened Sophie’s heart. “She did try to fill in for Ian’s parents, and she thinks she and I can try to make him feel as if he has parents of his own, until they see what a good son they have.”
“I should have known why she’s been calling so often since she went back,” Sophie said. “And why she’s been so careful.” Nita had said nothing hurtful in any of those phone calls.
“She wanted to be here when you came home. She’s on the level, Sophie.”
“For now.”
“So put her on probation.”
She felt queasy as she snaked a hand from beneath Chloe to clutch her dad’s arm. “Are you going to marry her again?”
He bumped his head against the back of the couch. “I’m seeing how I feel about her.”
“Oh.” That relieved her mind a little. “I could do that, too. Now that I have Chloe… I mean, I won’t let Mom hurt her, but I’d like them to know each other—I think.”
He leaned forward, eyeing her carefully. “Then I can invite her back down here to see the baby?”
“Okay—but she stays here. Not with you.”
He laughed so loudly Chloe jumped. “Are you insane, little girl? She and I will decide that for ourselves.”
“I just don’t want you confused.” And even she could see the charm in her mother’s perfect grooming. To a man who’d never dated anyone since the day he’d told his wife she had to leave. “Have you missed her, Dad?”
“More since you came home.” He looked embarrassed. “I asked you to work with Ian on being married, but maybe watching you two, your mother and I have discovered we should have tried to fix our problems rather than pruning them out of our lives.”
“Okay, Dad. You want to call her now?” She pointed at the phone.
“No.” He kissed first Chloe and then Sophie. “I’ll call from home. I need to get back and put the last coat of wax on my granddaughter’s crib. Can I bring it by tomorrow?”
“Whenever you like.” She reached for him and kissed his cheek again. “You’re a smart guy.”
“I don’t know. You and Ian aren’t working together now.” He peered toward the kitchen. “You got everything, Mom?”
“I’m not happy about it,” she said without appearing, “but I heard.”
“Good—I won’t have to fill in the rest of the family.” He chucked Chloe’s chin with exquisite tenderness. “You might consider, Sophie, how this baby will like growing up without her father if you don’t straighten out your own mess.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She could hardly force Ian to come home.
“But mind my own business? I probably won’t.” He leaned around the kitchen door. “See you later, Mother.”
Sophie couldn’t make out Gran’s answer, but it made Ethan laugh again. He paused for one more kiss on Sophie’s temple.
“You did a great job with Chloe. She’s the best treat this family’s had in years.”
“You’ll be saying that again when Olivia’s baby comes.”
“I think I’m going to stay partial to our girl. I’ll bring the crib in the morning.”
As soon as the door shut behind him, Gran strode into the room. “I guess we may have to get used to Nita being around here again.”
Sophie nodded, still uncertain about dealing with her mother, but positive family mattered more to her than ever. “And where’s Grandpa? Why didn’t he come with you today?”
“He says we’ll end up talking work, so he didn’t consider coming was worth his while.”
Sophie grimaced. “Not worth his while?”
“He’s annoyed with me again.” Greta bent over the bag that held Sophie and Chloe’s clothing from the hospital. “Let me wash these for you.” She looked up when Sophie didn’t speak. “I may have worked a few extra hours last night.”
Impatiently Sophie stared at her grandmother. “Why? You didn’t need to. That place runs fine without us at night.”
“I’m trying to do what your grandfather wants, but you all have to give me room. We had a new teenager check in, and she needed extra attention. Plus, a patron who’s visited through each of her four pregnancies joined me for dinner. I had to look over her kids’ pictures. I have a stake in those boys of hers, and she’s still trying for a girl.” Greta started to the laundry room with her handful of clothing but turned back. “Honey, do you plan to sleep down here? I can make the couch into a bed for you.”
Sophie was tempted, reluctant to sleep alone in the bed she’d shared with Ian. But she’d have to get used to it sometime. “We’ll go up later. I’ve been in bed for over twenty-four hours.” Sitting wasn’t entirely comfortable, but it made a nice change. “Gran, you did promise Grandpa. I know I shouldn’t be one to talk, but don’t throw him away.”
“I’ve planned a special dinner for us tonight, and I promise to grovel, and I’ll leave half an hour early every day for the rest of the week.”
Sophie didn’t answer and she didn’t believe.
“I promise.” Gran held the clothing to her chest. “Are you thirsty? You need to keep your liquids up while you’re nursing.”
“I’m fine.”
“Well, lunch will be ready soon. I expect you to eat it.” She disappeared, and Sophie swung her legs up on the couch, tucking Chloe into the crook of her elbow.
What a strange day—her parents trying to get back together, her gran and grandpa still arguing, and she’d managed to alienate her own husband. She brushed Chloe’s stand-on-end hair down a bit. Sweet little girl. Didn’t even know her daddy had deserted them.
Sophie lifted her head, star
ing through the windows at the cloudy late-summer sky. Ian wouldn’t stay in Bardill’s Ridge.
Her dad had been right. If she and Ian didn’t do something, Chloe faced a two-home childhood, commuting between here and wherever Ian happened to land. It wouldn’t be much fun. Sophie had loathed choosing between parents when she had extra time off from school, feeling as guilty for her choices as her parents had felt for making her pick.
Gran returned, sporting a glass of ice water. “You should drink whenever you have a quiet moment.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll be just a few minutes with lunch.”
“You don’t have to finish it.” Sophie stared after the woman who’d been her mentor, the woman who simply couldn’t sit still. “Why don’t you go start that surprise dinner for Grandpa?”
“I will. We have plenty of time.”
It was like looking in a mirror that showed only truth. “You’re fooling yourself.” Sophie nearly bit her own tongue in shock. Hadn’t Ian accused her of the same thing? And he’d been right. Gran had been her mentor in good things like work ethic and caring for people and love of family, but she’d also mentored her in taking what she wanted from a relationship and still maintaining a prudent distance.
“I was pretending I had a handle on retiring before, but your grandfather and I’ve faced our troubles.” A touch of acid sharpened Gran’s tone. “We’ve negotiated a work schedule for me that I’m trying to stick to, and your grandfather will understand my occasional backslide.”
Sophie straightened. A man shouldn’t have to accept a return to such bad habits. “Gran?”
“Hmm?”
“Can you help me up?” She could probably manage if she put Chloe down, but suddenly she wanted to ask for help. She had to fix the problems she’d made before it was too late.
Gran swept into the room. “Are you all right?”
“Fine, but I suggest you go home and explain you love Grandpa more than your job, more than anything else that matters to you. And while you’re at it, tell him you’ll only work at the baby farm three days a week.”
“Huh?” Too shocked even to complain about the “baby farm,” Gran helped Sophie stand, but she also brushed the back of her hand over Sophie’s forehead, briskly checking for a temperature.
“Now, Gran, because maybe we don’t get that many second chances, and I’m thinking you must be on way more than your fair share of chances with Grandpa.”
“I have a good marriage.”
Sophie shuddered. She possessed that same kind of arrogance. “I can’t force you, but except for the work part, that’s exactly what I’m saying to Ian. What the hell do I care if I’m safe if I’m also alone? If I’ve forced Chloe’s father out of her life because I’m afraid he’ll leave me? I made him leave and he didn’t even want to.”
“Ian doesn’t want to leave. He’s clearly miserable.”
Sophie eased out of her grandmother’s hands. “So is Grandpa. I’m learning my lesson now, Gran. Imagine how much more it would hurt to assume you weren’t your husband’s priority for fifty-five years.”
“Seth is my priority. I told you, we’ve sorted out our problems.”
“And he’ll wait for you to get around to him? Okay.” Sophie reached for the diaper bag with her free hand. “Will you drive me to Aunt Eliza’s?”
“Sure.”
Though they were intelligent women, they both had to refer to the instructions the hospital had given them for seating Chloe securely in her car seat. They didn’t talk as they drove through sprinkling rain. Sophie blankly sought words that would convince Ian. Gran seemed intent on deterring all further offers of advice. In the back, Chloe slept on, possibly even comforted by the constant bumping over rutted roads.
As they passed the square, Sophie suspected she might be hyperventilating. She covered her mouth and forced herself to count respirations.
“Want me to look after Chloe for you?” Greta offered.
“No, thanks. I’m low enough to use her against him.”
“You aren’t going to have to use anything. If you love your husband and you want to be with him, Ian will stay. He loves you, too.”
Sophie stared at her confident grandmother, who’d proved fallible today for the first time in Sophie’s life. “I hope you’re right.”
After they parked, Sophie took Chloe, and Gran waved her toward the B and B. “Go ahead. I’ll wait, just in case.”
“No, I don’t want you to wait. But if you can get that seat out, you could bring it in. Ian’s going to have to drive us home and then walk out if he wants to leave us.” She’d suddenly found her fight.
AUNT ELIZA LOOKED UP from the desk, sweeping salt-and-pepper hair off her surprised face. “Sophie, I was planning to bring you some dinner tonight.”
“Thanks, Aunt Eliza, but I’ve come to settle my marriage.”
“Good idea. I thought about refusing the man accommodation so he’d have to go home and talk some sense into you, but he’s in room four.”
“How’d you know I was the one who needed sense talked into me?”
“I love you, dear, but I know you run to keep someone from running out on you first, and Ian came all the way down here for you. If he wasn’t serious, he would have accepted your decision to leave him then.”
“I should have talked to you a long time ago.”
“You’ve never taken advice until you want to hear it. Look at the decisions you already made without our input. You got pregnant and married without thinking you needed family.”
“That’s not entirely true, but I’ll explain later.”
“Shall I watch Chloe for you?”
“No, thanks.” Balancing Chloe in her arms, Sophie climbed the stairs and wished her aunt and uncle would install an elevator for women who’d given birth within the past forty-eight hours. She walked to the door to room four, and pounded on the wooden panels.
Ian opened it and then backed up. “I thought you were a pizza.”
“It’s hardly past noon and you’re ordering a pizza?” She walked past him without waiting to be invited. “Lucky for me, I guess, or you might not have opened the door.”
“I would have opened the door. What’s wrong?” He peered over her shoulder at their daughter sleeping on her shoulder. “She’s all right.”
“You want to hold her?”
He took Chloe in his arms. She looked incredibly small against his black T-shirt. Sophie dropped the diaper bag on the floor and eased into the nearest armchair.
“Can we talk, Ian?”
“What’s the point?” he asked with eyes only for their baby.
“We’re a family.”
He looked up. “That’s not good enough.”
She flinched, but the time had come to stop being a coward. “I love you.”
He might not have heard. It certainly didn’t seem to count. He sat on the bed, cradling Chloe, but his expression didn’t change at all.
“I want you in my home, in my bed, in my daughter’s life. I want to consult you before I make dinner.” She was babbling as she forced herself back to her feet. “I want to consult you before we decide where Chloe will go to school.”
“She’ll only have one choice down here.”
Sophie saw an opening and rushed through. “I’ll go wherever you want to go.”
Ian shook his head, his expression carefully bland. “I don’t believe you. What makes this time different?”
“You matter to me.” She pushed between his knees, curving her hand against Chloe’s cheek. “More than anyone else. I love you.”
“So I should take a chance on you?”
“Yes.” She pressed her other palm to his cheek and he lifted his head. “Because you love me.”
“Do I? Or did we marry because of Chloe?”
“I don’t care why we got married. What happens from today is what matters to me.”
He frowned. “The past few months mean quite a bit to me.”
“I should have noticed I was balancing between annoyance and panic, but I didn’t see it until I was in labor and I had to depend on you.” She grimaced as pain flitted through his eyes. “I would have felt the same if I had to trust anyone with my life, but no one else would have mattered the way you do. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“And I don’t want you to stay married to me because you’re a kind woman.”
“I’m not all that kind lately.”
Finally, the corners of his mouth twitched. “I noticed.”
She caressed his cheek again, loving the familiar stubble. “I do love you. I don’t like seeing the empty places in my life where you’re supposed to be.”
“That’s pretty talk, but it doesn’t convince me.”
Her heart began to thud. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“I’m not sure we ever had each other, Sophie.”
“You had me. That’s why I was so afraid.” She felt undressed. “Remember when you said I’d never be happy until I trusted someone not to leave me?”
“I did trust you.” He looked down at Chloe again. “And I do love you. That’s why pretending isn’t good enough anymore.” He faced her, acceptance in his eyes. “And I’d rather bounce off another speeding car than admit any of this.”
She believed him. “I’m not pretending, but I guess you have to decide to trust me.” She sat beside him. “Or not.” Bracing one hand on his thigh, she leaned across him to look at Chloe. “I’ll tell you this—when you said you couldn’t stay after she was born, I knew I wanted you to. Picture me leaving, and tell me how you feel.”
“What really changed your mind, Sophie?”
She didn’t think he’d be surprised. “I talked to Gran.”
He laughed, and Chloe jumped, but he hugged her closer, as natural with her as if he’d had daughters all his life. “Greta’s a bad influence on you.”
“Just in this one aspect.” She felt alone, holding onto him while he held their daughter so close she might be part of his body, instead of Sophie’s after all this time. “I’m worried about Gran and Grandpa.”
“So am I.”
“But I didn’t want to repeat her mistakes, so I told her she should go home and beg him to forgive her, after she brought me to you so I could do the same.”