He placed his hand on my lower back and leaned to whisper down in my ear.
“It doesn’t matter. All that matters, is that you’ll agree to marry me. I want you, Scarlett, and I have for a long time. Before we actually do this, I need you to know that this is your choice. You can’t marry me because of some outdated law or because I paid your dowry. If you marry me, I want it to be because you actually want to. Please want to, Scarlett.”
I met his dark obsidian eyes that seemed to glow in the candlelight. It seemed unbelievable that he still wanted to marry me, after everything I’d put him through. He also knew my past and all the stupid, irresponsible things I’d done.
“I still don’t understand why,” I said softly.
Carrick smiled. “Because you’re the one I want,” he said simply.
I smiled back at him. “Then let’s do this.”
Chapter 8
Carrick
Scarlett stood next to me in a beautiful white lace dress. My palms were sweaty and I was nervous about showing her the family ring I had chosen for her to wear. We were waiting for the priest, neither of us particularly patient. Each time she glanced back towards the door, I grew more anxious. Ava was whispering in her sister’s ear, holding her hand tightly and smiling reassuringly at her.
My soon-to-be wife seemed calm, but just the slight tremble in her hand told me she was anything but. I wanted to comfort her, but how could I, when I was the one putting her in this position. I was selfish. She probably hated me for making her grow up and become a queen at the age of twenty. I thought we would have more time to get used to each other before this became imperative. One week just wasn’t long enough.
The priest walked into the room quickly. He knew why we were rushing this, and while it wasn’t the best timing, I still wanted Scarlett’s wedding to be special.
“Are we ready?” he asked.
I stepped over to Scarlett and took her hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly. “We are.”
Scarlett smiled tightly and nodded once.
Within minutes, we were placing rings on each other’s fingers. She looked in awe at the ring I placed on her finger. Sapphires and diamonds were encrusted into the eternity band that fit perfectly next to the engagement ring I’d given her to wear to the hospital gala. The rings had been in the royal family for over a hundred years and now they were hers. She studied the floral patterns the surrounding sapphires created around the setting. It was my good luck that the stones matched the tiara her sister had helped her place on her head before the ceremony. Scarlett didn’t just look like a princess anymore; she looked like a queen.
My queen.
It surprised me when Scarlett showed me the ring she’d picked out for me. She’d even had it engraved on the inside. I wanted to read it, but she slipped it onto my finger before I was able to. As the priest announced us husband and wife, I swept her up in my arms and kissed her until she was moaning into my mouth. I probably shouldn’t have been so forward in front of the staff and her sister, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Scarlett was finally mine, and that was all that mattered.
We signed the necessary documents and I hurried back to my uncle’s chamber to get his royal seal before it was too late. He’d begged me to marry Scarlett before it was too late and I felt guilty for making him wait. I didn’t know which was worse; rushing the woman I’d chosen to spend the rest of my life with, or making him worry that we wouldn’t get married in time. He also thought I was being an idiot not telling Scarlett my exact feelings, which I’d heard enough about from William. With each passing day, he was getting weaker, and he didn’t want Jade anywhere near this castle. Uncle Henry hated her and he blamed her for a lot of my past issues. I rushed into the room and our eyes met. His shaky hand reached out to grasped mine.
“The kingdom is safe.”
He sighed a breath of relief. “About damn time,” he said, grinning. “You chose well, son.”
My eyes shined with tears. The man who had raised me was dying and there was nothing I could do to make it stop.
“You were the one that made me realize what I felt for Scarlett, and made the first call to her father.”
“But you were the one that made your marriage possible. I always told you to marry for love, not a title.” He was getting weaker, but there was still some fight left in him. If he could give me one more fatherly lecture, I would take it.
“And I should have listened the first time,” I said, loving the fact that even though he was frail, he was still giving me hell. This was how I would always remember him. “Here is the license, sir. All we need is your seal, and it’s official.”
He pointed over to the desk in the corner of his room, indicating he wanted me to bring a pen and his wax. My hands shook as I carried them back over to the bed. I wasn’t ready for his last decree—the one that would officially make me king and Scarlett, my queen.
“I’m proud of you,” he whispered, as he signed the document with his usual flourish. “You’re going to make an amazing king. I’ve taught you everything I know. Now take this to the priest quickly. We don’t want to leave anything to chance.” He took my hand in his as he handed the paper over. “Be happy, Carrick. You deserve it. I love you, son.”
I watched as he settled back into the bed; all of his energy was gone.
“Thank you, Uncle. I love you too, and thank you for being a wonderful father to me.”
A small smile settled on his lips. I gathered myself the best I could and left the room quickly before he could see the tears running down my cheeks. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of my king. The priest was waiting outside the door, and he took the stamped document to be recorded immediately. I sank down to the floor and covered my face with my hands. Nothing ever made sense when it came to death, but this was worse than it had ever been before. My heart ached to lose the last of my family.
The next few days would be busy between finalizing funeral arrangements and ensuring that Jade didn’t try to manipulate her way back into the royal family. I regretted my impulsive marriage to the horrible woman, but there was nothing I could do now, except wait and pray that everything Henry had told me was right. That, and get to know my new wife.
Scarlett was going to be my future now.
My family.
“Carrick?” I looked up into the eyes of the woman who consumed my thoughts right now. “Are you okay?”
I laughed humorlessly. “Not at all.”
She sank down next to me on the floor and put her small hand in mine. “I know you aren’t; I shouldn’t have even asked. What can I do to help?”
I paused for a second. She really did understand my relationship with my uncle and I’d be forever grateful for that. “Go back in there with me?”
She nodded. “I will, but you’re going to have to help me up. I’m stuck down here now, in this dress.”
This time, my chuckle was real. “Come on, wife. I want to introduce you to the man that raised me.”
Scarlett smiled and my world wasn’t so dark. She lit up places in me I never thought would heal. “And I would love to meet him.” She paused for a moment. “Well, I’d love to meet him as your wife. I love your Uncle Henry. He’s always been sweet to me.”
I smiled sadly. “He always loved you too. He says you’re spirited.”
She grinned and squeezed my hand. Thanks to him, I would spend my life loving Scarlett too.
The rain wouldn’t stop on the day we buried my uncle. It suited my mood just fine, but even as upset as I was, Scarlett was able to break through to me. She slipped her small hand into mine and we walked behind the casket, on the way to his final resting place. The crowds seemed to like her standing next to me, not that I was concerned either way. Marrying Scarlett wasn’t a political move; it was purely selfish on my part.
When we were finally back in the castle, I wanted to drink and numb the pain in any way possible. The dark place I was in years before slippe
d back easily, and I wanted to fall into oblivion. I understood why Scarlett had chosen the drugs to mask her feelings all too well. I wanted to do that now, but I had obligations and I couldn’t allow myself to go down that route again. The responsible thing to do would be to throw myself into work, but I didn’t want to do that either. Instead, I wanted to get lost in my new wife. She had been keeping an eye on me all afternoon, and I appreciated that she recognized the struggle I was going through.
Scarlett had gone upstairs to change out of her wet clothes after the funeral, leaving me by myself for the first time all day. I poured myself a drink as I waited for her to come back downstairs and help me forget. She had been quiet over the past few days, and my attention had been other places. I needed to correct that soon. I was sure she understood why, but it wasn’t fair to her how our wedding took place. She deserved more from me.
I heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to look behind me. My sexy wife came into the room wearing a spaghetti strap tank top and a pair of almost indecent shorts. I muffled my groan and hoped that she wouldn’t notice how affected I was by her outfit. It had been nearly a week since I’d touched her silky skin. I wanted to bury myself inside her and forget all about this horrible day.
She smirked at me, and I could see she had the same idea. This woman was perfect for me. Sometimes it didn’t seem possible that we were actually here together because I had wanted her for so long. I wondered what she saw in me. I wasn’t as old as her father, but I sure as hell could be one. She didn’t seem worried about our age difference; in fact, the one time she had mentioned it, she seemed to like the idea.
Maybe we could spend tonight remembering exactly how much.
Chapter 9
Scarlett
Carrick was staring at me like he wanted to eat me alive. His smoldering eyes burned my skin as he took in my outfit. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t picked it out with him in mind, to at least attempt to make him think about something other than his uncle’s death. Our marriage was anything but conventional. I bit down on my bottom lip and considered my options. The last time we fought—before we were even married—I did tell him we wouldn’t sleep together again.
Yeah sure, like that would actually stick.
But I didn’t want to give in that easily and something told me Carrick would be disappointed if I did; even as upset as he was, I knew he would like the challenge. I’d played the dutiful wife in public and in private, I had tried to be both supportive and emotionally available to him when he needed it. It was exhausting trying to walk that fine line for days.
“I need a drink.”
He snorted a laugh. “Of course you do. Maybe we can barter.”
I narrowed my eyes and put my hands on my hips. “What kind of trade did you have in mind?”
“You’ll let me spank that sexy ass of yours for every swallow of liquor I give you.”
I closed my eyes. Why does that sound so good?
“So, no sex? You just want to punish me?”
He looked at me through hooded eyes. My skin prickled as he walked up behind me while I poured myself a drink from the bar cart. “Baby, by the time I’m done, you’re going to be begging for me to fuck you.” He leaned in closer. “You’re going to ask for my cock to fill you, and you’re not going to be okay until you get it.”
I trembled as the stubble from his jaw raked across my neck. This was a horrible idea. Not that I cared; I fell for horrible ideas all the time.
“What do you think, Princess? Are you in?”
I sat the glass down, turned around, and ran my hands up his chest. “You can try your hardest,” I said, smirking.
He grinned back at me. This was the way to help him—make him fight for it. We were both addicts and if I could get him hooked on something besides the drugs, we would both be safe. Maybe it was a foolish plan to offer myself up as a game, but I couldn’t let Carrick fall right back into where he’d dragged me out of. I’d seen the look—the one I recognized all too well—and he wanted to numb everything. It would be easy. One pill or one snort, and things would disappear. At night, I could see him slipping further away, closing himself off from the world and not allowing himself to hurt.
I shivered as he pushed my hair away from my neck, feathering the strap of my tank top down my arm. He led me over to the couch and I sat down on the arm, bracing my hands on the soft leather behind me as he kissed his way down my collarbone. When his lips wrapped around my nipple, I moaned softly. His hands flexed on my hips and I arched into him.
“Carrick,” I moaned. “We shouldn’t do this here.”
A popping noise filled the room as he pulled back from my breast. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” His dark eyes smoldered as he reached up to pinch my nipple. “Because I think you like the fact that anyone could find us. Walk in on us here, with my mouth on you.”
I groaned loudly and slapped my hand over my mouth quickly to muffle the sound. He nipped at the underside of my breast and I bit down on my wrist to stop myself from crying out.
“Just think, any of the staff could come in here. Your sister could walk in. Didn’t she say she was going to change and come back downstairs?” he taunted. “Are you wet just thinking about it, Scarlett? If I checked right now, would your panties be soaked?”
This man and his filthy mouth were going to be the death of me. “Yes,” I whimpered.
I reached in to devour his mouth and heard the soft sound of someone clearing their throat.
Ava.
Carrick pushed me behind him to make sure I was covered from prying eyes. I wrapped my arm over his shoulder and pushed my breasts into his back. His breath hitched and I tried not to smirk as I waited for my sister to continue. Her body was angled towards the door, and I could tell she was battling with herself, deciding if she wanted to make a run for it.
“Ava, what’s wrong?” I asked, making myself presentable and pushing around Carrick when I saw her face. The way she held herself made me realize something wasn’t right. When I looked closer, she had tears in her eyes.
Her eyes met mine. “It’s Alex. His sister—”
A sob escaped and she pressed her hand to her mouth. I rushed to her, pulling her close, and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug. She’d been close with Alex for as long as I could remember. I always thought they would end up together, but here we were, years later, and still no sign of them being anything more than friends.
“Have you talked to him yet?” I asked softly.
She shook her head. “I need to go. I know the timing is awful—”
I hugged her tighter. “Don’t worry about it. You need to go to him. There’s nothing you can do here. Carrick and I will figure this out. Together.”
Not that I knew how things would turn out, but it was the truth. For better or worse, we were married now. Carrick and I shared a look over her head and he nodded. We would figure out this odd footing of our marriage together.
I flinched as Carrick threw the tumbler of scotch into the fireplace, causing the flames to flare up. For once, I didn’t blame him for losing his temper. Jade had challenged our marriage with the church, and even though the last order of Carrick’s uncle was to completely dissolve all records of his marriage to her, we had to wait to see their response. It wouldn’t matter if they did recognize their marriage or not; we were married now and she couldn’t have him. I wouldn’t let it happen.
Carrick whipped around when I tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. For one split second, I thought he was going to hit me. I recoiled and took several steps back, out of his reach.
“Scarlett, I’m so—”
I held up a hand to stop him. A lump grew in my throat and I couldn’t focus. I fought back the panic rising in my chest. I had to get out of there. Carrick followed behind me as I walked towards the door to the library.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. You know I would never actually hurt you, right?” he pleaded.
I nodded wit
hout turning around. I couldn’t be in the same room with him for a while, not after that scare. Over the years, I’d learned to recognize the signs and, right now, Carrick was too worked up. It was time for me to escape while I could without any bruises.
“I think I’m going to go take a nap. We’re all a little anxious over this whole situation.”
He didn’t fight as I ran up the stairs and away from his anger. Anger that was too much like my father’s. Except with Carrick, I didn’t expect the hit. It was instinct and self-preservation that had me flinching away. With my father, I never knew if the hit was coming or not. Life at home hadn’t been easy for me after my mother died. I was thankful that I had been able to shelter Ava from the worst of his temper, but now that I wasn’t there, I was scared about what might happen to her. She was his favorite, but his temper didn’t recognize favorites when it flared.
Carrick didn’t know, but he was my dark knight. He rescued me when I needed it most, and he never expected me to give up who I was in the process. There was no way he was a white knight; he was moody and irritable and testy as hell, but he had saved me from myself, and from my father. I saw the look of regret in his eyes when he realized that I was terrified of his reaction, and I truly believed he would never hurt me. Now we would have to find our footing again.
One step forward and two steps back.
That seemed to be our pattern.
I swiped angrily at the hot tears streaming down my face. My back hit the wall as soon as I shut our bedroom door behind me, and I slid down to the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs. None of this was fair—Carrick losing his uncle, my father being such an asshole, and Carrick having to deal with me when I was so broken down. I needed to hold it together. Carrick couldn’t see me like the broken little girl that I was. I didn’t want to be weak anymore; I wanted to be strong for him and stand by his side when he needed it most. In order to do that, I couldn’t freak out at the littlest things.
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