Roll

  It’s a totally normal, non-gothy one.

  Another thing Aiden was wrong about.

  “Thanks,” I tell her. “They’re new.”

  “Hi, Sutton,” Mom calls from the front. “Ren says your big competition is tomorrow. Good luck!”

  “Thanks, Mrs. Hall. And thanks for the ride.”

  Mom smiles in the rearview mirror. “Of course.”

  Sutton lowers her voice, leaning in toward me. “Is there something going on that I should know about?”

  “What?” I ask innocently. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Uh-huh.” She eyes me suspiciously, but lets it drop. I spend the rest of the ride staring out the window as she and Mom talk about school, and whether or not Sutton is going out for any activities.

  To my surprise, I learn that she’s thinking about signing up for gymnastics.

  As we pull up in front of Kurt’s house, I can feel my stomach kind of . . . churning. Maybe I shouldn’t have had so much pizza for lunch.

  “You okay?” Sutton asks, unbuckling. “You look a little . . . green.”

  “I’m fine. Just excited. I love pool parties.”

  “Okay.” She gives a little shrug. “Let’s go then.”

  I force myself to unsnap my seat belt. Are my hands shaking a tiny bit? Maybe I’m hypoglycemic. I make a mental note to check the symptoms online later.

  “Have fun!” Mom gives us a little wave. “Call when you want me to pick you up!”

  All right. This is it.

  I open the door.

  Kurt’s family lives in one of the new subdivisions at the edge of town. Their house is big, with an attached, three-car garage and boulders scattered artfully around the yard. It’s all very beige.

  In every sense of the word.

  I can hear music, and people laughing, and the occasional screech coming from the backyard. I hesitate. Do we ring the front doorbell? Go around back? I don’t know the correct etiquette for crashing your best friend’s new best friend’s pool party.

  Not that we’re crashing. I mean, I was invited.

  Technically, at least.

  Luckily, Sutton seems to know what to do. As she heads for the side of the house, I follow. My feet slip a little in my new shoes.

  Maybe socks were invented for a reason.

  I’m not exactly sure what I’m expecting as we turn into the backyard, but as much as it pains me to admit, Kurt’s pool is actually pretty great. It’s a lot bigger than I expected, with a wooden deck surrounding it and an attached, screened-in gazebo. A volleyball net is strung down the middle of the pool, and there’s even a little waterslide.

  “Whoa,” Sutton says. “Nice.”

  I shrug. “It’s not that nice,” I say under my breath.

  I can feel Sutton giving me a look, but I ignore her.

  A lot of people are already here, splashing in the pool or clustered in little groups on the deck, talking. There’s music coming from somewhere, something loud and thumpy, where you can’t make out the words. I recognize Atticus and John running around with Super Soakers, making a couple of the girls shriek every time they get too close.

  My stomach flips at the sight of Atticus, but I force myself to act like everything’s fine.

  For a second, I think Aiden isn’t here yet. Then I spot him, sitting at the edge of the pool next to Madison. He’s talking to Kurt, who’s floating around in some kind of inflatable armchair.

  Madison’s bikini is small.

  I hope she’s not planning on going in the water in it.

  Aiden doesn’t see me at first. But as John races past, Aiden turns his head to avoid the stream of water coming from John’s squirt gun.

  Our eyes meet.

  There’s a long sort of pause, the kind where if this was a movie, everything would slow way down, and you’d be able to hear the sound of my heart beating above the background noise. Thump. Thump. Thump.

  Aiden turns away first.

  “Come on.” Steeling myself, I grab Sutton’s hand. “Let’s mingle.”

  CHAPTER 26

  SUTTON’S PALM IS really dry compared to mine.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, looking down at our locked hands.

  Instead of answering, I head toward the deck, practically pulling her up the stairs behind me. I’m sure not everyone turns to look at us as we make our way onto the deck, but it definitely feels like it.

  Most of them look confused. Aiden’s expression is a little harder to read.

  I raise my left hand, giving a little wave in Kurt’s direction. I don’t want to drop Sutton’s hand until I’m sure everyone’s seen me holding it. “Hey,” I say. “Uh, thanks for having us. Cool pool.”

  I can hear my blood pumping in my ears. I feel like the “King of the Geeks” sign is still hanging from my back for everyone to read. Like when they look at me, that’s all they can see.

  Like they’re about to start laughing at me again.

  Gelotophobia, I think grimly. The fear of being made fun of.

  If Kurt thinks it’s strange that we’re at his party, he doesn’t show it. “Hey, man.”

  He slides off his armchair thingy, hauling himself out of the pool in front of us. “Thanks for coming.” I mentally scan the remark for sarcasm, but it seems clear. Either he’s a really good actor, or he genuinely doesn’t mind that I’m here.

  I feel a twitch of relief.

  Tiny drops of water flick onto the wood as Kurt pushes his hair back. “What’s going on?” he asks Sutton.

  “Not much,” she says. “I hope it’s okay I’m crashing your party.”

  “Yeah, of course. The more the merrier.” He pushes his bangs back again, smiling at Sutton.

  For some reason, I feel a little twinge of jealousy.

  Sutton pulls her hand free. She wipes her palm on the front of her shorts, which is a little offensive. My hands aren’t that sweaty. “Cool.”

  I can see Aiden watching us from the side of the pool, although he’s trying to be all stealthy about it.

  “So do you know who your teacher is for this year?” Kurt asks.

  “Mrs. Thompson,” Sutton says.

  “Hey, Kelsey has Mrs. Thompson, too. You wanna meet her? She’s right over—”

  “Actually,” I interrupt, “we’re going to get some food first. Right, Sutton?”

  She shoots me an annoyed look, but follows me into the gazebo. “You’re being really weird, you know.”

  “Look.” I point at the table. “There’s a nacho cheese machine. You want some nachos?”

  “No.” She crosses her arms in front of her. “I want you to stop being weird.”

  “I’m not being weird,” I protest. Loading up a plate with chips, I begin pumping liquid cheese on top of them. It looks a little disgusting, but now that I’ve started, I can’t stop. I pile a bunch of black olives on top for good measure.

  “Come on,” I say, grabbing two sodas. Regular Cokes, not the fancy European kind. Kurt’s mom must not want to waste those on his friends. “There’s a couple of chairs open over there.”

  Avoiding her gaze, I walk back outside.

  To my relief, she follows me.

  An hour later, everything is going great.

  No, better than great. You could even say swimmingly.

  Ha. I kill myself.

  Sutton and I have really made a splash.

  Ha. Okay. That was the last one, I promise.

  Anyway, it turns out everyone wants to meet “the new girl with the hair,” as I overheard Kelsey calling Sutton. Sutton’s barely had time to touch the nachos I made for her; people keep coming up and introducing themselves.

  I’ve had my share of stares as well. According to Natalie Blum, she didn’t even recognize me.

  To be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to her before.

  Kind of for good reason, it turns out, since all she wanted to talk about was the latest episode of some TV show neither Sutton nor I had ever seen.
<
br />   Still. It was exciting. Natalie is one of the most popular girls in our grade.

  We talked to Margot Abbott, too, who told me she thought my shirt was really cool, and Miles Hagedorn, and Quentin Laughlin. We even spent twenty minutes talking about basketball with Kurt and John.

  I don’t know much about basketball, so I spent a lot of time nodding and making “uh-huh” sorts of sounds in the back of my throat.

  At the end of the conversation, Kurt and John both high-fived me.

  It was . . . strange.

  Now Sutton and I are sitting near the edge of the pool, watching Kurt and a bunch of people playing water volleyball. The nauseous feeling in my stomach is long gone, and I’m stuffing my face with a fresh plate of nachos.

  Even the sight of Aiden standing directly in front of me, setting up the ball for Kurt, doesn’t bother me. In fact, I’m glad he’s here, just so he can see how well I’m fitting in with everyone.

  So he can see how wrong he was about me.

  Everyone shouts in excitement as Kurt spikes the ball past John’s reach. It lands on the other side of the net, sending a spray of water over everything, including my nachos.

  Sutton wipes her arm dry. “Hey, so how much longer do you want to stay?” she asks. “Because if we left right now, we’d still have time to watch a movie.”

  Is she serious?

  “Are you serious?” I ask aloud. “You want to leave already?”

  She shrugs. “Kind of.”

  “Why?” I ask in bewilderment. “This is awesome.”

  Sutton looks at me. “Awesome? Are you serious? People are staring at me like I’m some kind of alien.”

  “That’s not true. They’re just . . . interested.”

  She nods in Atticus’s direction. “That guy asked me if I had any tattoos. Where would I even get a tattoo? I’m eleven.”

  “Okay, fine. Atticus is terrible,” I admit. “But he’s just one guy. Everyone else seems nice, right?”

  Another shrug. “I guess. I mean, are they actually your friends? Because it doesn’t really seem like you guys have a lot in common. Or even you know . . . know each other. And what’s going on with you and Aiden? You haven’t even looked at each other this whole time.”

  That’s not true. We’ve actually looked at each other a lot. Just not when we thought the other one would notice.

  “And what was that whole conversation with Kurt and John? You don’t even like basketball.”

  “I could like basketball. Maybe I’ve always just been prejudiced because I’m short.” And because it’s really boring. And I don’t like the squeaking noise tennis shoes make on the floor of the court. And because I don’t really understand the rules.

  Okay. I probably don’t like basketball.

  “Let’s just stay another half an hour,” I say. “You haven’t even been in the pool yet.”

  Sutton looks disinterestedly down at the water. “Yeah. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just nervous about the Fly tomorrow.”

  I take another huge bite, cheese dripping down my fingers. I’ve got to talk Mom into investing in a nacho machine. “It’s going to go great.”

  “You think?” She looks hopeful for about a second before the wrinkles on her forehead return. “I don’t know. I checked online. Some guy in Austin got, like, two hundred points earlier today. We’re probably going to get crushed. Especially now that we don’t have Squirrel.”

  I try to ignore the stab of guilt in my stomach. Logically, I know Sutton is right; it’s not my fault Squirrel is dead.

  But sometimes it’s hard to make the rest of me believe my brain.

  “It’s our first year. I mean, your first year,” I tell Sutton. “No one expects you to win. Not yet, anyway,” I add. Sutton tends to be a little sensitive when it comes to people not taking her as a serious competitor.

  “Maybe you’re right. I just don’t want to disappoint my dad.” She brushes an imaginary drop of water off her knee. “Part of me thought he was actually going to be well enough to be there tomorrow. Just so he could at least watch, you know?”

  I’m momentarily distracted as the volleyball hits the water, raining chlorinated water all over my nachos again. “Smacked!” John howls. He does a little victory lap around the side of the pool, high-fiving the people sitting on the edge.

  As he nears Sutton and me, I hold my hand out, searching for something to say. “Nice one, dude!”

  Sutton completely ignores John and stares at me instead. A second later she pulls her legs out of the pool, reaching for her flip-flops. “All right. That’s it. I can’t watch this anymore. I’m done.”

  “Wait, watch what?”

  “You. Sucking up to Kurt and his friends. It’s ridiculous.”

  “What are you talking about?” I protest. “I’m not.”

  “Save it,” she says, jamming her flip-flops onto her feet. “You’re not fooling anyone, okay? These people aren’t your friends. You’re obviously trying to prove something to Aiden. Or to yourself. I don’t know. And you know what? I don’t care. I’m done.”

  She stands up. “Enjoy the rest of the party, dude. I’ll find my own ride home.” As she takes the stairs two at a time, heading into the house, I stare after her in shock.

  What just happened?

  CHAPTER 27

  MY FIRST THOUGHT is to follow Sutton into the house.

  But then what? Even if she’ll talk to me, I have no idea what to say. I don’t even know if I want to talk to her.

  I mean, who does she think she is?

  This party is great.

  I’m having a great time.

  Sutton doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She doesn’t know me. She met me less than five weeks ago. I’ve known most of these people my entire life.

  And sure, we’ve never really hung out before, but so what? Like the quote says, there’s no time like the present.

  I shift a little on the wooden deck, looking down at my soggy nachos.

  Excellent. Now I’ve lost my appetite.

  “Hey, Hall! You wanna get in on this?” Kurt hoists the volleyball in my direction, looking at me questioningly.

  As much fun as showing off my nonexistent volleyball and swimming skills sounds, I’ll pass.

  I shake my head. “No, thanks.”

  “Come on, man. Think fast!”

  Before I know what’s going on, Kurt lobs the volleyball in my direction.

  It’s like something out of a nightmare.

  Flustered, I drop the nachos on my lap, reaching out for the ball. Only I’ve forgotten I’m sitting on the edge of the pool. As I stretch out my arms, my center of balance tips forward. I belly flop into the water with a loud splash.

  Water floods my nose, the chlorine burning the back of my throat, making me feel like I’m going to choke. The pool is five feet deep; I’m so short I have to stand on tiptoes to breathe, wiping my nose and my eyes with the back of my hand.

  Nachos float around me like dead leaves.

  “Dude, are you okay?”

  I can hear Kurt’s voice, but his body is just a blurry lump. My glasses must be somewhere at the bottom of the pool.

  I cough, trying to clear some of the water out of my lungs.

  And then I hear it.

  A laugh.

  Someone is laughing at me.

  I whip my head around, trying to pinpoint where it’s coming from. But without my glasses, it’s useless. I can’t see anything.

  Another laugh, this time somewhere behind me.

  And then another.

  It’s the sign on my back all over again.

  I want to sink to the bottom of the pool. To curl up into a ball, and close my eyes, and just . . . disappear.

  What was I thinking, coming here? What did I expect?

  “Nice throw, dude. My grandma has better aim.”

  It’s Aiden’s voice. Even without my glasses, I know. I recognize it.

  He’s making fun of Kurt.

  “Yeah,
man, I thought you were a ballplayer?” It’s Atticus’s voice, I’m pretty sure. “You throw like my grandpa.”

  “You look like my grandpa,” Kurt retorts. “Hey, you okay, Hall? My bad.”

  “Um . . .” I cough again. “I’m fine. I just . . . I lost my glasses.”

  “I’ll get ’em.” It’s Aiden again. Popping his head under the water, he disappears. “Here,” he says, reemerging a second later. He hands me my glasses.

  “Thanks,” I say uncertainly. I slip them on. They’re covered with water drops, but at least I can see. Kind of.

  Everyone’s still looking at me, but they’re not laughing anymore. Not like that, anyway.

  “Hey, look,” Atticus points. “Pool nachos.” Snagging a passing tortilla chip, he pops it into his mouth.

  “Gross, dude!”

  “That’s disgusting!”

  Kurt laughs. “Sick, dude. Hey, Sorenson, toss me that ball, would you?”

  And just like that, it’s over.

  A couple people grin at me as I drag myself out of the pool, but most people are too busy watching Atticus and John dive for pool nachos to pay much attention to me. I head around the side of the house, my shoes squelching with each step.

  I’m hesitating outside the front door, wondering how I’m going to get to a phone without completely flooding the Richardsons’ house, when I hear someone coming up behind me.

  “Here.”

  I turn. Aiden tosses a towel in my direction.

  “I thought you might need this.”

  “Thanks.” I take the towel. Sitting down on the ground I pull my shoe off, tipping it upside down to let the water run out.

  “No problem.” He hesitates for a second. I empty my other shoe.

  “Cool,” he says at last. “Well, see you later, I guess.” He turns to go.

  Good.

  I didn’t want to talk to him, anyway.

  “Wait,” I hear myself saying. “Thanks. For, you know . . . helping me. Just now. In the pool.”

  He turns back. “Yeah. I mean, Kurt’s a good guy.” Sitting down next to me, he plucks a couple of blades of grass. The Richardsons’ grass is really, really green. “He wouldn’t have tried that on purpose.”

  I pull my shoes back on. “Can I ask you something?” I concentrate on my shoes, not looking at him.