Mom caught my hand as I walked past to sit next to Danny. She gave it a squeeze, like touching me made it real that I was home. I knew she missed me, and I missed her, too. Sometimes it was easier to live further away, though, because I could be braver when she wasn’t near. When I was with her, I was her little girl again, and she was there to take care of me. To a point. The adult Jesse knew that mom wasn’t capable of taking care of everything anymore, but she still sometimes wished for her mommy.
“Jess, your father should be home soon. He wanted to stop at the butcher and get those steaks you like.” She smiled up at me and I knew just how much it meant to her to have us here.
“Oh, that sounds so good! He didn’t have to go out of his way, though.”
Mom shook her head, laughing. “You know he loves to BBQ for you. He’s been excited about it since you called to tell us you were coming! He made the salad last night and everything!”
We both rolled our eyes. That sounded like Dad. And at that moment, he came stomping in the front door. “Lydia, are they here,” he called out in his gruff voice.
Danny stood up, rubbing his palms nervously on his black jeans. He wore a black button down, long sleeved, and boots trying to dress it up a bit. I couldn’t believe he was so nervous about this. Mom looked surprised as well.
My father ducked through the doorway then, his 6’5” frame filling it. At 52 he still had a powerful build, probably weighing in at 250lbs or more. No fat, just hard muscle and toughness. His golden-blonde hair was still thick and full on his head and only slightly peppered with white and grey. He laid eyes on me and his tough guy facade slipped away. “Baby! Come here!”
I walked over to him and let him crush me in a bear hug, lifting me off the ground. “Dad! Can’t breathe!”
He laughed and kissed my forehead. “I can’t help it, Jess. It’s been too long.” He smiled lovingly at me. Then his attention turned to Danny and he was all business. “You must be Dan.” He stalked over to him and stuck out his hand, taking Danny’s measure. Again, I probably hadn’t prepared Danny for the force of nature that was Jack Martin. He handled it with the charm I knew to be effortless.
“Mr. Martin, I’m pleased to meet you.”
Jane’s eyes were wide looking up at my hulking dad.
“And who is this,” my dad said in a lower voice, bending down closer to Jane’s height.
“I’m Jane Black,” she said, sticking out her hand. Brave little girl.
My dad’s face broke into the hugest grin as he took her tiny hand in his. “Good handshake, young lady. Make sure you always shake firm like that. You’ll scare away unworthy males.”
Jane blushed and laughed out loud. “Ok, I’ll remember.”
Dad winked at her and then said, “Dan, you want to come help me get these steaks on? I think I’ve got some beer in the fridge.” Danny agreed and followed him into the kitchen, his eyes only slightly going wide.
Jane and I sat with Mom and I noticed Jane looking around. “Jesse, do you have any pictures of you dancing?”
My mother and I looked at each other and she smiled, only a little sad. “Why don’t you show her your room, Jess?”
I took a deep breath for courage and smiled at Jane. “You sure you want to see the shrine? I keep telling Mom to put this stuff away-”
“And I keep telling her that I never will until she takes it to her own house and puts it out. She has a lot to be proud of.” Mom was so proud of me. I wished Jane could experience having a mother beam with pride at every accomplishment. I was determined to give her that.
I took Jane’s hand and said, “Alright, let’s go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. The cheese factor is pretty high in here.”
Jane laughed as we walked down the hall. My room was at the end. I really had asked mom repeatedly to put away my things, but she wouldn’t have it. Neither would Dad.
I opened the door and Jane gasped. “Oh, wow! This is like a museum!”
Lining one wall was a huge glass case with all of my trophies, photos, shoes of various sizes, and even two of my costumes on display. If it were anyone other than my parents who had these things up, I’d say it was creepy. But we had an unspoken agreement that we’d keep things around as a reminder of all that we’d been blessed with and all we had accomplished. The opposite wall had several large framed photos of my mother dancing with the Oakland Ballet. Her toe shoes hung from a hook. Jane oooed and ahhhed over all of the things to look at. Surprisingly, I wasn’t angry and bitter looking at them. This time home, I looked at them with a sense of peace and acceptance. That was my life. I had a wonderful time and accomplished more than most dancers my age ever could dream of. I had new dreams now.
“Jesse, this is amazing! Do you have any videos of you dancing?”
I sighed. “Probably. You’d have to ask my mom, but I’m sure she has them around somewhere.” She bounced on her toes a little, grinning at me. Then I asked her about something that was bothering me.
“Jane? You were awfully quiet when you guys came back from your walk this morning. Everything ok?”
Her grin faded a little and she looked down at her feet. She wandered back over to the display case. “Yeah, I guess.”
I frowned. “That doesn’t sound like ok. I don’t want to pry, sweetie. Is there anything you want to talk about?”
Her blue eyes looked so vulnerable when she looked up at me. “Jesse, are you going to marry my dad?” I stepped over next to her and leaned back against the case. She took in a shuddering breath. “Daddy told me this morning that my mom is going to get married. He also said that he wants to marry you and wondered what I thought about it.” That’s what the long face was about.
“And how do you feel about all this, Jane? It’s an awful lot of change for you.”
She nodded, her finger tracing over the glass. “It is. I’m kind of surprised about my mom. It just kind of came out of nowhere with this guy. But with you two, I’ve had time to get used to you being together. And I like you together.” She looked up at me with wet eyes. “I love you, Jesse. And I want my dad to be happy. I just don’t know where I fit in all of this.” A tear slipped down her cheek and she dropped her head again.
I took a deep breath for courage. “Jane, can I give you a hug?” She nodded without looking at me and I pulled her into my arms, tight against me. My heart was breaking for her. I hated that I had anything to do with her current feeling. “You fit in right in the middle of all of this, Jane. Your father and I would never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable. If you aren’t ready for us to get married, it ain’t gonna happen! I can’t do anything about your mom, but I’m sure not going to do anything you aren’t ok with. You mean the world to me, Jane. To me and your dad. We love you.” And then I was crying and then she was crying and we were holding onto each other for dear life. There was a soft tap at the door and my mother came hobbling in with her cane.
“Oh! Oh, girls, what’s wrong?”
Jane wiped at her eyes, but I didn’t let go of her.
“We’re ok, Mom. It’s just been a heavy summer for Jane. Lots of changes. And that’s not even counting the fact that she starts middle school in a couple of weeks.” This got a chuckle from Jane. I hoped she didn’t mind that I was diverting attention from the real conversation.
“Middle school! Oh dear. When Jess started middle school, I thought our lives had been hijacked by terrorists! Talk about emotional upheaval! Her dad even threatened to move out until after puberty was over!” Jane giggled like crazy. I was so grateful to my mom for the save.
“She’s really not exaggerating that much, Jane. I was pretty emotional. But it was mostly centered on dancing and whether I was pushing myself enough, whether I was working hard enough, whether we were going to win our competitions. We went through equal amounts of Aqua Net and Kleenex during those years.”
My mom put her free arm around my waist and I leaned over and hugged her close, kissing her hair. “I didn’t mean to interru
pt, but I wanted to ask if you would help me set the table, Jess,” she said softly.
“Of course, Mom. I’ll handle it. In fact, Jane here was asking if you had any of my old performance videos. Maybe you can show her one while I get everything set up? That way I don’t have to sit through it and critique myself again.”
They both laughed and my mom opened a drawer on the dresser. Inside was a stack of DVDs. “I had them all burned to disks so we wouldn’t ever lose them. They’re part of history, our history.”
Jane smiled brightly at Mom, her eyes dry. She took a couple of disks from the drawer and glanced at the titles. “Are there any of you, Mrs. Martin?”
My mom smiled shyly and said, “Yes there are. But you don’t want to watch an old ballerina prance around the stage.”
Jane nodded vigorously. “I do! I do! I used to take ballet and Jesse is going to take me to her classes in September!”
Mom winked at me and said, “Alright, if you insist. Let’s go take these to the other room. Maybe we should check on your dad. He might need to be rescued from Jack.”
Jane nodded, took my mom’s hand, and they went out to the living room. When she looked back at me, her expression was one of acceptance, of agreement. I tried to give her a reassuring smile in return.
I hurried to the kitchen to grab what I needed and, of course, to spy on Danny and my dad. The two of them stood near the grill with bottles of beer in hand and smiles on their faces. This scene did not look like a nervous boyfriend and the intimidating father. It looked like they were conspiring against me! I quickly set the table in the dining room and then stepped through the slider to the patio.
“Hey, Jess! Dan was just telling me about the Pinto! Damn, she was a good car! A shame she didn’t make it.”
I internally rolled my eyes. How did I put it gently to my father that the car had lived way past its expiration date? “Dad, I did the best I could, but I could not keep her going. Thank God she died in an intersection with a gas station and her spectacular death wasn’t witnessed by hordes of people.”
Danny chuckled and took a swig from his bottle. Dad looked slightly admonished. “I know she wasn’t the best car, but we went through a lot with her, didn’t we, babe?”
I went to stand next to him and he pulled me into his side with a tug. “Yeah, Dad. She was a good car. You took great care of her.”
He smiled down at me and then gave Danny a shrewd look. “I’m just glad you were there when she broke down. Tell me again why you were following her home?”
Danny gulped and his face flushed. “I, uh, followed her because my personal assistant texted me earlier to tell me what she was driving. She made it sound like the car was on its last legs and since it was late, I wanted to make sure she got home safe. Nothing nefarious, I promise you. I just needed to know she was ok. Of course, that was before I knew where she was living.” And then the attention was back on me. Nice one.
“What do you mean, where she’s living? What’s wrong with her apartment?”
Danny snorted and took another drink of his beer. “It’s not in the best neighborhood. I know because I used to live across the street. Her actual unit is ok, though, because she’s got friends next door that watch out for her.” He seemed pretty relieved to not be under the scrutiny of Jack Martin, but I wasn’t going to let him throw me under the bus.
“Dad, I was fine there. I’ve been fine there. I told you Cosmo looked out for me. But I’ve just moved into a much safer place. I think.”
Danny’s eyes grew wide. Unfortunately, Dad caught that. “She move in with you?”
Danny nodded, nervously. “Yes, sir. A few days ago.”
Dad narrowed his eyes and looked between us.
“Jesse,” Mom called. “I think we’re ready for the salad, and can you help with drinks?”
I knew it was cruel to leave Danny alone at this moment, but hey, duty called. I smiled weakly at them and turned on my heel to help Mom in the kitchen. The fear in Danny’s eyes did not go unnoticed.
Mom was alone at the counter when I came in and she looked worried. “That didn’t look like it was going very well.”
I shrugged. “It was until Danny told him I moved in with him. I think he’s about to get the ‘what are your intentions toward my only daughter’ interrogation right about now.”
Mom giggled and put her hand on my back. “What do you think he’s going to say?”
I turned to look at her and couldn’t hide my stupid smile. “He wants to marry me, Mom. He hasn’t proposed yet or anything, but he has made it abundantly clear. That was a big part of why we came up here. He wanted to meet you and tell you both.”
Mom’s eyes filled with tears. Happy tears. “Really, Jesse? Married? My little girl?”
I hugged her and she was trembling. “Mom, don’t cry. It’s a good thing. I want you to be happy for us.”
She dabbed at her eyes, laughing. “Of course it’s a good thing! I could tell the moment I saw the two of you at the door, the way he looked at you, that he adores you! And that little girl is just the most precious thing I’ve ever seen!”
“She is, Mom. I love her so much.”
She gave me a squeeze and then we snuck over to watch the boys outside. Dad had a beefy hand on Danny’s shoulder and Danny’s expression was determined. He nodded a few times and then put his hand over his heart. Dad pulled him into a bro hug and I heard them both laughing. We hurried to the table so they wouldn’t catch us spying. A few minutes later they came in with trays of steak and potatoes wrapped in foil.
“Dinner’s ready, ladies,” Dad called out as he entered the dining room, Danny right behind him with a shit-eating grin on his face. Guess that conversation went well. I knew Danny would win over my parents. He didn’t even have to break a sweat.
I ate until I was about to burst. I missed my dad’s grilling. Nothing compared. Danny and Jane ate their share as well and the conversation at the table was boisterous. Dad and Danny got to talking about boxing and I was lost. The two of them really bonded. Dad hadn’t heard of Danny’s band, but they shared a mutual love of early Heavy Metal. I hadn’t thought about the fact that only sixteen years separated them. In actuality, Danny was almost more like a little brother than a son. The two of them were in their own little world until Jane piped up.
“Daddy, after dinner we’re going to watch videos of Jesse and her mom dancing!”
Danny’s eyes lit up and he smiled at me. “That would be amazing. I was worried I wouldn’t get to watch you dance again.”
Mom frowned at me in question.
“I performed at our summer show a month or so ago because one of my teens hurt her knee two nights before and her partner had family visiting from the Philippines. It was last minute.”
Mom’s eyes were sad when she smiled at me and Dad took my hand in his. “I wish we could have been there, baby.”
I shook my head. “It was no big deal. Jane had asked Danny to bring her. That’s the only reason he even saw me.”
“Yeah, and I’m so glad I did. Your daughter is amazing. In so many ways.” I smiled at him, appreciating his compliment, but worried about where this conversation was going.
“Well, I just hope you were careful, Jess. I worry you are pushing yourself too much.”
I took a drink of water and looked at her and my dad. “I am taking care of myself. At least I’m doing a better job of it now. I’ve started taking some preventative medication, to keep things from getting worse, and Danny has been taking me to an acupuncturist and bringing a massage therapist to the house to work on me. It’s helped a lot. I’m feeling better than I have in a long time.”
Dad’s expression was grim. Mom’s was deadly serious. .“That’s good, but you need to really be careful. You can’t keep performing. The doctors were insistent.”
“I’m not, Mom. It was a one-time thing.” I wiped at my mouth with my napkin and rested my hands in my lap. I didn’t like the silence that settled over the table. I a
sked Mom about her volunteer work to change the subject. She lit up, telling me about a new project she was working on with children with mobility issues. She helped teach them to stretch their bodies and strengthen themselves to improve their quality of life.
The rest of dinner was filled with strained conversation, my dad eyeing me the whole time. After we finished, Danny and I cleared the table while Dad and Mom talked to Jane about her horse.
“Honey,” Danny said when we were alone. I kept washing the dishes, hoping that keeping me busy would keep the tears away. He put his hand between my shoulder blades and I flinched. “Hey,” he said quietly, turning off the water and grabbing a towel for my hands. “What’s wrong?” I was afraid I’d start crying if I looked up at him. He turned me to face him and took my hands in his.
“I’m sorry, Danny. I probably should have warned you about my mom. I understand, you know. I would. You know, understand.”
He was really still. I tried to pull my hands back, but he held them firmly in his.
“Jesse,” he said in a low voice. “What exactly is it that you think you understand?”
I shrugged. This was really hard to say. “I understand if you were having second thoughts after meeting my mom. After seeing what I might become. I don’t know-”
“Fucking right, you don’t know! Do you honestly think that? That I’d fucking not want to be with you? Dammit, Jesse.” He pulled me into his arms and I went reluctantly. I took a few deep breaths. “I was out there telling your dad how much I fucking love you, that I want to take care of you if you’ll fucking let me, and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Honey, how can you think that would change?”
I swallowed hard to keep the tears back. “Because, Danny, having reality right in front of you, being able to see the future, would make some people run. I’m just saying I’d understand. Hell, I wish I could run from it.” A tear rolled down my cheek as he pulled me tighter against him.
Teacher: Act Two (A Hollywood Rock n' Romance Trilogy Book 2) Page 23