by Agatha Frost
Crying.
Uncrossing her legs, Em sprang up and left her comfortable meditation spot by the window. It had taken the sobs to realise she’d heard nothing but laughter and good conversation since arriving; she hadn’t even heard a Christmas song, although Moon had treated them to a handful of panpipe performances around the fire of an evening.
“Evelyn?” Em whispered as she pulled back the woven curtain to the mystic’s bedroom. “What has you so upset?”
“Oh, Em!” Evelyn rushed across the room, her ruby red kaftan billowing around her. “Something terrible has happened!”
“What is it?”
“M-my crystals,” Evelyn sobbed, her shaky hands reaching out. “They’ve vanished … again!”
The woman fell into Em’s arms. Em hugged until the sobbing eased enough to place Evelyn in a wicker chair in the corner of the simple room. Using the jug of water filled with what appeared to be tea leaves of all different colours, she poured a glass and handed it to Evelyn before sitting cross-legged at her feet.
“Explain what happened,” Em urged calmly.
“I went for a lovely stroll outside,” she began after taking an unsteady sip. “When I came back, I wanted to hold my Kyanite crystal and pay my respects to the power of nature because I just love winter weather. But it’s gone, and my whole collection vanished with it!”
“Are you sure you haven’t misplaced it?”
“I put the velvet satchel with all my favourite crystals right there on my pillow.” She pointed a finger at the bed across the room. “I’ve been keeping it there specifically, so I always know where it is. I’ve felt like I’ve been slightly losing my marbles with that satchel all week, to be totally honest, so I made sure it was there before I left.”
Leaving Evelyn to sip her lukewarm tea, Em walked over to the bed and pulled away the pillow before searching the sheets. Not that she didn’t believe Evelyn, but the woman had been misplacing her satchel of crystals all week. Under a book, next to the toilet, even in a shoe – the satchel always turned up, although Evelyn had never before been so certain of where she’d misplaced it.
“Do you have any feelings about what happened to it?” Em asked after putting the sheets back to rights. “Any energies or messages?”
“Before today, I really did fear my mind was going,” Evelyn said before swirling the cup and draining its contents. “Just as I suspected. The tea leaves confirm it. Look!”
Em peered into the cup. Back in Northash, she revelled in her reputation as being the ‘alternative’ rebel, but some of the locals would have a field day if they met someone as far out as Evelyn. Unlike Evelyn, however, Em didn’t claim to have any mystical abilities of sight or visions, so nothing jumped out at her in the mush of red and brown leaves.
“It looks like a stick?” Em suggested, running her hand over her prickly, shaved head. “Or maybe a pencil?”
“It’s a knife,” Evelyn said darkly, glancing around the room. “It’s known as The Stab. A symbol of betrayal. I fear one of our fellow yogis has stabbed that proverbial knife in my back and taken my crystals.”
“There’s a chance they didn’t.”
“Which is why I shan’t be going around accusing people.” Evelyn rested the cup on the side table next to her tarot cards; Em had yet to take her up on her offer of a reading. “But right now, I cannot see any alternative scenario, and I don’t think I’m up to the job of finding out who. The lady who runs the café in my village is a dab hand at this sort of thing. If only she were here.”
“We have one of those too,” Em said, thinking of her friend Claire. “Although she runs a candle shop.”
“Oh, I do love candles.” Evelyn’s lips pricked up into a smile before souring. “Almost as much as I love crystals.”
Sensing what she must do, Em clutched Evelyn’s hands in hers.
“I’ve been meditating in the main hall all morning, and nobody has come or gone except for you on your stroll. The crystals have to be here. I’ll help you find them.”
“You will?” Evelyn let out a relieved sigh. “Oh, thank you, Em. What do we do? I hate to think one of the ladies took them. I’ve grown so fond of you all.”
So had Em, but if life had taught her anything, it was to expect the unexpected, even from people bestowed with something as easily broken as trust.
Em’s meditation by the fire, with Crescent curled up in her lap as the evening’s snowstorm raged outside, was interrupted when Moon broke the silence to announce that dinner was served. She shook a box of biscuits in Crescent’s direction, and he lifted his head to show off the black crescent moon patch across his left eye. After an enviable stretch through Cat Pose, he ran into the kitchen, the bell around his neck jingling.
Knowing what she needed to do, Em inhaled deeply and followed.
She took her usual seat between Evelyn and Moon at the large round table set up in one of the retreat’s open-living spaces. Hattie, dressed in one of her wonderfully wacky and colourful flower power outfits, went around kissing everyone on the cheek before taking the seat opposite Em. Iqra joined a few minutes later, nose buried in her phone and effortlessly put together, as usual, with light makeup, a high ponytail, and a midriff-baring gym top.
“Where’s Nova?” Iqra asked as she sat. “Haven’t seen her in ages.”
“I’m surprised you see anything with your eyes glued to that thing all day long.” Hattie’s New York accent was still strong even after decades living across the pond. She pointed a finger at the phone. “What’s so interesting in there that you’re not getting in here?”
“I’m almost done,” she replied, still typing.
This year, if Iqra was ever ‘done’ with the thing, Em had yet to see it.
“I hope she’s not out there,” Moon whispered, nodding at the large window behind the naturally fallen Christmas tree decorated with string lights. “They weren’t exaggerating when they said we’d be having a white Christmas. I had been hoping we’d get around to some sessions down by the lake. It really is beautiful this time of year.”
“Are you outta your mind?” Hattie cried. “In this weather? I’m already cutting glass in here as it is!”
Em, Moon, and even Iqra gave Hattie a little laugh, but Evelyn’s sullen expression didn’t lift. Of all the newcomers Em had met at the retreat over the years, Evelyn was the one she’d most hoped would return for an elusive second time – and from there, hopefully join as an annual visitor. While it had taken Hattie, Iqra, and even Moon a day to fully adjust to Evelyn’s eccentric ways, Em had liked her from their first meeting. The cheeky smile and twinkle in Evelyn’s eye that had endeared her to Em so quickly had vanished, and the expression left behind made Em’s empathetic heart ache.
As was customary, they waited ten minutes after their scheduled mealtime for Nova. When she didn’t turn up, Moon picked up a plate at ten minutes past the hour on the dot and tucked into the salad. Thankfully, all the food had been cold to start with.
“Look at us, ladies!” Moon announced, her positivity radiating through her smile as she loaded her plate from one of the wooden serving dishes. “There’s not many dining tables where wonderful weirdos like us would fit in like this.”
“Ironic, isn’t it?” Hattie said. “We’ve all run away to pretend it’s not Christmas, and look at us here, celebrating the holidays together.”
“We’re celebrating each other,” Em said, raising her glass of spiced apple juice in the air. “To new friends, old friends, and not taking any of it too seriously.”
They all toasted.
“You know, I don’t even know what day it is,” Moon said after she savoured a sip of her mulled wine. “Funny that, isn’t it? When you stop thinking about time, it stops thinking about you.”
“Still coming to get you, though!” Hattie punctuated her exclamation by raising a fork in the air. “If the Grim Reaper shows up, ladies, he’s probably not here for you … at least as long as I’m in the room.”
“Let’s not talk about such morbid things.”
“Why?” Hattie snapped back. “Because it’s Christmas?”
“Because it’s … morbid.” Moon pursed her lips slightly, her eyes suddenly darting across the table. “Oh, dear. Are you alright, Evelyn? You’re the only one with nothing on your plate.”
Even amongst strangers, Evelyn was usually the first to pile her plate high and go back for seconds, but tonight she didn’t seem to have registered the food at all. Her bright red kaftan had gone, replaced with one of the deepest black.
“I was going to wait until we were all here and we’d eaten,” Em started, her eyes going to the empty chair on Moon’s other side where Nova usually sat, “but there’s something important we need to talk about.”
“It’s phrases like that,” Hattie said after a deep glug of water, “that make me wish I hadn’t given up drinking.”
“Hopefully, we’ll be able to resolve it quickly.”
“What is it?” Moon urged, her chunky wooden bracelets clattering as she reached out to rest a hand on Em’s. “You can talk to us about anything. We’re all friends here.”
“Yeah,” Iqra offered, fork in one hand but still holding her phone with the other, typing with her thumb.
“It’s about Evelyn,” Em said, looking around the table. “Well, more specifically, her crystals. They’ve gone missing.”
“Where’ve you put them this time?” Hattie asked with a huff. “And I thought I was the only one here in the ‘at risk of being senile’ category.”
“It’s different this time,” Evelyn replied, her voice empty and small. “It feels different. My strength has left me. I need my crystals.”
“Oh, please.” Iqra sighed and locked her phone, throwing it on the table. “You know they don’t do anything, right? It’s all a con.”
“We’re not here to debate the validity of Evelyn’s crystals,” Em said firmly, fixing her smile in place. “We just want to know if anyone knows where they are.”
“It’s true, though,” Iqra pressed. “It’s a capitalist scheme to sell meaningless lumps of rock.”
“Says the girl pushing who knows what on the internet,” Hattie jumped in. “To how many people, was it?”
“Eighty thousand.” She shrugged. “And I don’t push, I just suggest and … influence.”
“Making a pretty penny along the way.” Hattie took a calming breath, and said, “Regardless of what you think, Evelyn is fond of her crystals – as am I of mine – and if you’re lucky enough to get to my age, hopefully you’ll learn it’s best to let people enjoy what they enjoy as long as they’re not hurting anyone.”
“So.” Em cleared her throat to quell the argument. “Has anyone seen them? They’re in a velvet satchel.”
Em waited for a response and looked around the room, but the three women merely glanced back and forth between themselves.
“I’m sorry, Evelyn,” Moon said, the first to speak. “I haven’t seen them, but I will keep a lookout for them.”
“They’ll turn up.” Hattie stood, lifting her plate. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, I’ll eat this in my room. I feel a nap coming on.”
After Hattie left, what little conversation there had been fell off. The silence highlighted how Evelyn had been carrying most of the mealtime conversations with her amusing, worldly tales of sights and romances from distant lands. By the time Em had cleared her modest plate of quinoa, Evelyn had barely munched through the few lettuce leaves Moon had forked onto her plate.
When Iqra announced her departure to ‘go live’ on her phone, just as she’d done every night, Moon began clearing the table. She hesitated to take Evelyn’s plate but did it anyway. After a pat on the mystic’s shoulder, Moon excused herself.
“Hattie was right.” Em grabbed both of Evelyn’s hands in hers. “They’ll turn up.”
Evelyn looked as though she was trying to muster a smile, but the corners of her lips barely lifted. She drew her hands away before slinking off towards her bedroom.
Before Em could figure out if it were best to offer comfort or give her space, the front door burst open in a flurry of snow. Nova fell inside, pushing the door against the wind behind her. Fully wrapped up in winter wools, Nova fell against the door, and for the second time, muffled crying drew Em in.
“Nova?” Em helped the woman up off the floor. “How long have you been out there? You look frozen through.”
“I got lost,” Nova said through tears as she ripped off her hat to let down her ice blonde hair. “I went out to take some pictures of the countryside and found a little village nearby, but I couldn’t find my way back … and … and …”
Em drew the practically hyperventilating Nova into the tightest warming hug she could give, but before long, the overwhelming cold of the girl’s outer layer stung Em’s skin. After helping her unravel, Em settled Nova next to Crescent in front of the fire before fetching a freshly warmed cup of Moon’s homemade mulled wine.
“Better?” Em asked after wrapping a multi-coloured crocheted blanket around the girl’s shivering shoulders. “I thought you were in your room.”
“I shouldn’t have gone out,” she said, rubbing her nose and forcing a laugh through her embarrassment. “The snow … it wasn’t so bad until it was. I feel so stupid.”
“Don’t ever think you’re that.”
“I shouldn’t have come here,” she said, eyes fixed on the surface of the mulled wine reflecting the crackling fire. “I don’t fit in.”
“None of us do,” Em said with a wink. “That’s the point. The world needs more people who don’t fit in. You came here for a reason.”
“To escape Christmas with my family,” she said after a sip. “And to avoid the awkward questions about why Erik and I broke up.”
“Then you’re still here for a reason.”
“I suppose.” Nova smiled, her cheeks finally turning from red to pink. “It’s just … you’re all so interesting. You all have things that make you special. I’m just … here.”
“How old are you, Nova?”
“Twenty-two.”
Em chuckled, patting Nova’s knee to calm its bobbing.
“Then give yourself some time,” Em said softly. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re interesting. Not many twenty-two-year-olds would come and spend Christmas in another country. For whatever reason, Moon has created something here that draws people like us in. That you’ve turned up means you fit in the moment you stepped foot inside.”
Nova smiled, and for the first time, Em felt something lift off the girl’s shoulders. To say she’d been shy and nervous was an understatement. The young woman had been glued to Moon’s hip for most of the time.
“Where is everyone?” Nova asked, rubbing her shiny nose as she looked around the empty communal hall filled with bean bags, rugs, and more potted plants than Em had been able to count.
“Something happened earlier,” she said, before quickly adding, “nothing too serious, so don’t worry. Evelyn’s crystals have gone missing, and she has a feeling they’ve been stolen.”
“And you think I took them?” Em could practically feel Nova shrink back into her shell. “You think I—”
“I’m only asking what I asked everyone else at dinner,” Em interjected before the train of thought could speed out of the station. “Evelyn is understandably quite upset about their disappearance, and I promised to help find them. If you know anything, it would be helpful.”
Nova sipped her mulled wine, brow still furrowed as she stared into the crackling fire. Her gaze darted up when Iqra walked in, phone held high in the air.
“Alright, family,” Iqra said airily into the device’s camera. “I think we just had an amazing session, and I can’t wait to see you all again tomorrow. Don’t forget to follow – and stay positive!”
With puckered lips and clenched eyes, Iqra held up a peace sign and ended her live video stream. A moment later, she flopped onto the curved sofa next to Nova wi
th a heavy exhale. Without her audience, every muscle in her face dropped, and she was back to watching her phone as her fingers tapped away.
“Have I interrupted something?” she asked in a lower voice, glancing up at them both. “You alright, Nova? You have a face like thunder.”
The air turned thick as the silence dragged out until Nova threw the blanket off and hastened towards her room.
“What did I say?” Iqra rolled her eyes.
“She was out in the storm,” she said, throwing more logs onto the fire as she watched Nova’s bedroom curtain rip across the doorway. “She took offence to being asked if she knew anything about the crystals. She’s still young enough not to know that she doesn’t always have to lead with her emotions and impulses.”
“Or she’s guilty,” Iqra said with a shrug. “I heard her crying on the phone last night to someone about how much debt the wedding had put her in. We’ve all seen Evelyn’s crystals. She has some rare stones in there.”
“I thought you didn’t believe in them?”
“I don’t, but I know how much women like her will pay for them.” Iqra held up her phone and smoothed down her ponytail in the reflection of the high-gloss screen. “I think I saw a crystal shop in the village on the drive up. Maybe that’s why she was out in the storm?”
“Maybe.” Em sighed as she pushed herself up off the sofa. “But without proof, you’re creating a fiction, and I don’t feel comfortable discussing the ‘what ifs’ without Nova here. Nothing good will come of talking to her tonight, but I owe her an apology in the morning.”
“Doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong.”
“That’s not for me to decide.” Em thought about retreating to her bedroom, but she had an urge to be honest, so she went with it. “For what it’s worth, you seemed much happier last year.”
“What?”
“Whatever validation or meaning that thing brings you,” Em said calmly, smiling and nodding at the phone, “I promise if you engage with what’s around you, you’ll get so much more. I never see you smile unless you’re performing, and that makes me sad.”