"No...I just..." Sam rubbed at her forehead. The earlier lie of a headache quickly becoming true. "Can we talk?"
Nafarius nodded, dread settling in the pit of his stomach. Nothing good ever came with such words.
Stepping further inside, he circled the alcove, noted the little touches that had been added over the past few weeks. The place had quickly become hers, reflecting bits of her personality.
Sam watched Nafarius as he paced about the alcove. It was a small space, made smaller with his presence, but she had made it comfortable. She wondered what he thought about it, wondered how it compared to his space.
"You wanted to talk?" Nafarius urged.
"Yeah," she started. "It's time for me to go home."
"No." Nafarius growled, before she had even finished her statement.
"Please, hear me out." Sam spoke slowly, choosing her words with care. "I've been here for a few weeks. Long enough for you to know that no matter what happens, I wouldn't say anything about you, the pack or Wolf Lake. I'd like to think that you can trust me."
Reluctantly, Nafarius nodded. He did trust her, but he wasn't ready to let her go.
She's ours! his wolf insisted.
"I will make whatever promises, reassurances, you need. If you want, you can send someone back with me to collect the rest of my research. There isn't much more that pertains to Wolf Lake. Most of what I had was in my notebook." Sam paused, the thought of her lost book still bringing with it a moment of sadness. "But what there is is yours."
"Why?" Nafarius asked.
"What?"
"Why do you want to go home? Why now?"
Sam looked away. "I don't belong here," she whispered.
"That never seemed to bother you before."
Sam knew her mouth had fallen open. How could he not know, not see? "I can't live like this. In fact," she said, her voice hardening, "this isn't living. I won't stay here. I won't stay where I'm not wanted, not welcome and where there is the constant threat of death. You can't expect me to."
Nafarius stood silent. "I can't let you leave."
"Oh! For fuck's sake, you're like a dog with a bone!" Sam scowled at him. "I am not going to tell anyone. And not just to protect you and yours but because if I did they would lock me away!" She was shouting now. "No one would believe me. How could they? I don't have any proof and you destroyed any notes I had. Not to mention years of personal memories."
"You can't go," Nafarius said.
"I can't stay," she insisted.
"Why not?"
"Because I don't fucking belong here! No one talks to me or spends time with me. I don't dare ask questions about you or anything else for fear that you think I'm doing more research." Sam was on her feet, fists clenched at her sides. "I sit in the center of that goddamn den surrounded by people and am more alone now than I have ever been in my life."
Nafarius stood tense. "What about me?"
"What about you?"
"I thought we were enjoying each other," he hedged, still unwilling to look too closely.
Ours, ours, OUUURRSSS!
Sam crossed her arms over her chest. "You're the worst one of all."
Nafarius jerked back as if slapped.
"I'm nothing more than your dirty little secret."
"Trust me, it's no secret," Nafarius ground out.
"No, but you go out of your way to avoid rubbing the pack's collective noses in the fact that you're fucking the human." Sam tasted her bitterness, knew that it could turn things ugly.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Nafarius wanted to shake her.
"It means that you're happy to slip in here in the middle of the night so long as you're gone before morning or come find me outside alone for a quick tumble in the bushes. But otherwise you keep your distance. You don't touch me when anyone else is around and you sure as hell never invite me into your bed."
"I can't...there is no way the pack..." Nafarius sputtered to think what the pack's response would be to an outsider in their private quarters.
"I know," she said quieter now. "I'm not pack, not welcome."
Nafarius heard it then, the pain laced words getting through. "I never meant to hurt you," he said.
"I know and I never expected much." Sam laughed bitterly. "The story of my life."
"Look, give me a day or two to think about it," Nafarius offered. "Maybe we can come up with something that works for everyone."
"This is non-negotiable. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"I can't just let you walk..."
"I saw Natasha," Sam said. "Maddie told me about the mating and the joining of the two packs."
"Son of a bitch." Nafarius' eyes narrowed in thought. "Is that what this is all about? You're jealous..."
"Get out." Sam bit off, gesturing to the alcove's entrance. "I'm done talking to you."
"Sam, wait." Nafarius reached for her, found nothing but air when she stepped out of reach. "Look, my relationship with Natasha is political. Her father has made mating with her part of the deal. But even if it wasn't, as alpha there is no way I could mate with a human."
"What if I wasn't human?" Sam asked. A flicker of some emotion passed over Nafarius' face and was gone before she could name it. "Not all werewolves are born, some are made, right?" she asked.
Yes! Nafarius' wolf stopped pacing. Ours!
Nafarius ignored it. "It's rare," he answered carefully. "Even a bite doesn't guarantee infection and it's a hard life to adjust to, especially out here. But even if you were made, it wouldn't chang things as far as Natasha goes. The peace with Dimitri's pack is too important."
No, no, no! For the first time in his considerably long life Nafarius got the sense that his wolf wanted to turn on him.
"I understand." Sam brushed at her cheeks, surprised to find them wet with tears. She hadn't realized the lengths she'd been willing to go to find a way into the pack, to finally belong somewhere.
"Would you stay?" Nafarius asked. "If you were made pack, would you stay?"
Sam searched his eyes, saw a sadness there to match her own. "No. It's just...I don't think I could stay here and watch. Even if there was never going to be anything more between us, it's still more than I've had with anyone else. To lose that and then watch as you live a life with someone else..." she shook her head.
"I understand," Nafarius swallowed his disappointment.
"You'll let me go?" she whispered.
"It appears I have no choice." Inside, Nafarius could hear his wolf howling, slamming up against his inner barriers.
Sam gave him a sad smile.
"Will you spend tonight with me?" he asked. He wanted one more night with her. A final chance to imprint her on his senses. Werewolves lived long lives; he had years ahead of him with a mate not of his heart. The memories of this time together would be something to carry him through.
Sam nodded, slipping her hand in his she allowed Nafarius to pull her close. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he lowered his head and captured her mouth in a kiss. Softly, slowly, he swept the depths of her mouth. It was a sweet kiss, a tender kiss designed to say all the things he couldn't.
Nafarius released her mouth, stood passively as she stripped him, watched as she pulled her dress over her head.
"So beautiful," Nafarius whispered at the sight of her naked and bare. Reaching out, he cupped her breasts, enjoying the feel of them filling his hands, her nipples pebbling under his heated gaze.
Sam sighed, her breath catching when Nafarius brushed his thumbs back and forth across the tender nubs. She wanted to feel his hands on her, his mouth everywhere, but first there was something she'd been wanting to do. Slowly, she lowered herself to her knees and took him into her mouth.
"Samantha," he groaned in pleasure, his head falling back, his wolf blessedly silent.
Sam took her time working him in and out of her mouth, stopping to explore along the length of him with her tongue before swallowing him down her throat.
Nafarius slid his hand
into her hair, fisted there but didn't impede her movements.
Wrapping her fingers around his shaft, Sam continued to stroke him. Moving lower, she gently took his balls into her mouth, rolling them carefully.
Nafarius nearly spent himself as he felt her slip his sac into the heat of her mouth. Reaching down, he grabbed her and tossed her onto the bed of blankets.
"Hey! I wasn't finished." Sam laughed as she landed on her back.
"Not in your mouth," he said. "Not yet. I need to be inside of you."
Sam shivered at the huskily whispered declaration, shuddered as he slid inside.
Nafarius wrapped his arms around her, sealed their bodies together at the core and started to move. Long, slow strokes that left him just barely there, before returning to touch her deep inside. He watched her face, watched as the pleasure slowly built. There was no hurry, no rush to finish.
They watched each other, eyes bright in the dark. They came together with a kiss, then separated to savor. Each touch and taste was meant to be remembered, a slow sensual goodbye that would take the night to say.
Lifting his head, Nafarius knew this was just the beginning of the night, that there was no need to deny them release. Reaching between their bodies, he stroked her, "come for me," he whispered, and took them over the edge.
CHAPTER SIX
BAD REACTIONS...
SAM WASN'T SURE what time it was. Laying on the floor, Nafarius snoring softly beside her, she stared up into the dark. Her internal clock told her it was early, the sun not even up. It was time to go.
Untangling herself, she slipped out from under the blankets and reached for her jeans.
They had spent the night making love, coming together again and again, experiencing each other in ways both old and new. They had laughed, Nafarius showing a silly side she'd never seen and he didn't know he possessed. Their last release tumbling them into each others arms and into sleep.
"Were you going to say goodbye?" His voice came low, barely above a whisper, preserving the intimacy of the night.
Dressing quickly, she knelt on the floor beside him. "I would have woken you."
Nafarius searched her face, saw that she spoke the truth. "It's early. Stay for breakfast..."
Sam shook her head. "I think it's best I leave before the rest of the pack wakes."
"Sam..."
"Walk me out?" she asked, cutting off any objections.
Nafarius nodded. Rising, he slipped into a pair of jeans and watched as she gathered her things.
It didn't take her long. There was little that was hers. Her day pack had been salvaged along with a few of her MREs. "I'm ready," she said.
Nafarius didn't say anything, just led her through the den and outside.
Sam tipped her head back and stared up at the sky. The night was almost over, black lightening to purple gray. She watched as several stars disappeared in the coming light. "I'm going to miss the stars," she said. "It's too bright in the city to see most of them."
"You could stay," he said.
Sam looked at him, smiled.
Reaching out, he brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, tucked it behind her ear. "You sure you don't want me to send someone with you? It's a hard walk out."
"I'll be alright." Sam shifted her pack, settled it more securely on her back. "Oh, can you give this to Maddie?" She handed him a note. "I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."
"She'll appreciate that." Nafarius tucked the note into his pocket.
"Well, I guess this is it," she said, in no hurry to leave.
"Take care of yourself," he whispered.
"You too." Sam stood up on tiptoe, pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
Nafarius watched as she walked to the edge of the clearing, turning at the last minute to wave before slipping between the trees.
Roland stepped out from the mouth of the den. "You're letting her go?"
"Yes," Nafarius said.
"Is that wise?" Roland asked automatically. He was surprised to realize that he wasn't worried that Sam would share their secret.
Nafarius stared at the place where Sam had disappeared. "Depends on who you ask."
No, no, noooooo! Inside, his wolf howled.
"I'm asking you," said Roland.
Nafarius cut his beta a look before turning to go inside.
* * *
Later that morning, Nafarius ordered the others to sparring practice. The routine kept the pack strong. Nafarius had proven himself worthy of command this way, and he decreed the practice would continue under his leadership. Twice a month, opponents squared off as the pack watched. It entertained the pack, and it kept fighting skills sharp. Today though, it had a very different purpose for their alpha.
Nafarius shook out his shoulders. "Again," he ordered.
The pack whispered among themselves. Nafarius had already gone through several opponents. Three of them lay nearby watching and licking their wounds. The fourth was unconscious.
Roland stood back and watched. He knew a man punishing himself when he saw one, and had no desire to interfere.
"Again, I say!" bellowed Nafarius.
Marcus attacked, going in low. He swept a well muscled arm, hooking behind Nafarius's knee. Marcus pressed forward, and lifted his leader's leg from the ground. Nafarius was pressed back, lost his balance and crashed to the ground. On his back, he saw the towering Fir trees above, swaying in the afternoon breeze.
Then Marcus was there, leaping upon him, bearing down for a punishing blow. Nafarius saw the man's fist swinging. The trajectory was good, and the force was excellent. If it connected, Nafarius might just lose this match. He flashed pride in Marcus's ability.
But pride instantly shifted to survival. Nafarius twisted his body, turning his head to the side. Marcus's brutal punch came down like an avalanche, but the alpha's head was no longer there. Marcus's fist slammed into empty ground, and both men heard bones snap. Marcus bellowed in pain, and instinctively looked down at his already swelling hand to judge the damage. It was all the distraction Nafarius required.
Survival now shifted to aggression. Nafarius's wolf craved Sam. But if it could no longer have her, then blood would do.
Nafarius lost himself then, and his wolf rose to power. Conscious thought slipped away as a primal force took command of the pack's alpha.
He repelled Marcus's attack with vengeance. The men were a blur of fists and kicks and body blows.
Dimly, casually, Nafarius was aware that he just broke two of Marcus's ribs.
The gasps and cries of the pack were hollow and far away. Nafarius could not make them out, and did not care to.
A puny voice within Nafarius told him that Marcus was now bleeding internally. His first reaction was that Sam would be horrified. He shoved thoughts of her away.
Nafarius's wolf reveled in the violence and could remain in the background no more. Nafarius shifted in a moment, falling down on all fours, canines eager for skin.
Now fully wolf, he leaped at Marcus, slamming into the man's chest. Marcus fell back, bleeding, defeated, but struggling for life. He went down hard, and now it was Nafarius who was on top. His cold wolf eyes saw the man's weakness, and searched for the right moment to strike.
When Marcus's head turned to the side and exposed his neck, the wolf saw nothing but glorious opportunity. Jaws opened, and he dove in for the kill...
"Nafarius!!" screamed Roland.
The wolf heard the urgency in the tone. Something about it made sense. Should be listened to.
The wolf froze.
Nafarius came back to himself, the red haze over his vision slowly fading. Beneath him Marcus lay unmoving, his chest heaving.
He held Marcus's neck within his jaws. It would be a simple thing to kill the man, to break his neck.
"Sire, please," whispered Marcus, blood bubbling from the corner of his mouth.
It was an ancient title, one used to appease the old monarchs. It calmed Nafarius, and he scanned the watching pack
. Each and every one of them were down on their bellies.
"He yields," Roland urged quietly.
Nafarius released Marcus. Slowly, painfully, Marcus rolled over onto his belly, surrendering at his alpha's feet.
Nafarius bent his head and licked at Marcus' wounded neck. His saliva, especially in wolf form, would help speed healing. Carefully, he nosed the man's face and hair in silent apology before turning and slipping off into the woods.
It was several minutes before anyone moved.
* * *
Nafarius ran.
It had been decades since he last lost control of his wolf. He'd been born alpha. Faster. Stronger. Powerful. Control was critical. Even in his youth, when control was at its weakest, his wolf had never surfaced so violently.
It had been a mistake. He'd been restless since Sam's departure that morning, his wolf pacing like a caged animal. He had thought the physical demands of sparring would provide a safe outlet. Instead, he'd put his pack in danger and injured one of his most trusted males.
Guilt ate at him, clawed its way up into his gut where it threatened to fester.
Never forget your responsibility to the pack. It was a message Nafarius had been raised on. Everyone is weaker than you, and most of them already know it. That makes them all yours to protect.
Nafarius had always known what his duty to the pack meant and had never shied from it. But things were starting to spiral out of control. His affair with Sam had been a distraction he couldn't afford. Only he wasn't the one forced to pay the price. The pack was unsettled and Marcus was seriously injured. If Nafarius didn't clear his shit up and soon, someone was going to end up dead.
Still thinking about Marcus, Nafarius turned towards home.
Back in human form and dressed, Nafarius dropped down beside Roland. "How's Marcus?"
"He'll live." Roland eyed his alpha critically. There were lines around his alpha's eyes, shadows that hadn't been there before.
Nafarius nodded as Maddie handed him a plate. The scent of deer meat and fire roasted potatoes rose up, bathing his face in fragrant steam. He was surprised when she turned to leave. "Madelyn."
Legend (A Wolf Lake Novella) Page 8