She leaned her head on the doorway, content to watch until they noticed her, feeling tearful for no single reason. Owen laughed at something Lucy said, and the way he threw back his head put Sela in mind of Ecca.
Then he turned, and she saw why. It wasn’t Owen after all, but Brody, basking in the warmth of his cousins’ presence. Of the family he’d never had. They’d never had.
He met her eye and beckoned her to join them.
Caroline crossed to the table, plunking a bowl of sugar-dusted strawberries onto the lazy Susan, and when she moved aside, Sela counted three little heads.
One, two, three. No Brody, only Owen.
“Good morning!” Caroline held up two steaming mugs. “Coffee?”
It smelled like heaven. Like a bold brew of something that had been forbidden for so long, you’d forgotten how much pleasure such a simple thing could bring.
A warm drink, with no limit to refills. A genuine smile, with no worried shadow. A newly open door, even if you couldn’t quite bring yourself to close the one behind you.
Sela nodded and moved to take her seat at the table.
Acknowledgments
I owe a debt of gratitude to a number of people who helped to make this book possible.
Barbara Poelle believed in this story (and its author) from my first mention of the idea, and proved once again her ability to do the impossible when she made my family’s one and only trip to Disney World even more memorable.
Alexandra Sehulster brought enthusiasm and insight to her acquisition of this project, and this manuscript is infinitely better for her collaboration and care in the editing process.
Megan Rader, as a registered dietitian specializing in renal care (and a good friend specializing in patience), was wonderfully gracious about a steady stream of “quick questions” coming at her in the form of texts, last-minute lunch dates, and phone calls. Her advice throughout was invaluable, as was her feedback on an early draft.
Amy Miller generously gave hours of time to speak with me about her experience as a kidney donor. Her openness was as invaluable as it was humbling, and I remain in awe of her generous, clear-eyed, unwavering spirit. I’ve witnessed the life-changing impact of her perspectives on many people who’ve been fortunate to cross her path, myself included.
Perry Malloy-Hall of the National Kidney Foundation kindly granted Amy’s request to bring me as her guest to a power-packed The Big Ask: The Big Give workshop at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. All of the panelists and featured speakers that day in November 2018 shone a bright light on the subject matter, and the NKF’s print and online resources were invaluable aids in my research, as well.
In a time when I was devouring any related material I could get my hands on, Kim Dinan pointed me to the Strangers podcast’s eye-opening four-part series (available in their archives, from January through March 2016) on Elizabeth and Mary and their altruistic match—fascinating listening for anyone interested in two strangers’ real-life experiences with donation.
Note: While I’ve done my best to remain true to the real-life progression of chronic kidney disease and to the complex process of pursuing live organ donation, the fact that the experience is ultimately unique to every patient afforded me some leeway to take creative license for the sake of this fictional story, particularly where the timeline was concerned. (Likewise, the story’s DNA test provider is imagined and not a proxy of any one existing company.) The aforementioned sources bear no responsibility for any perceived stretches, bends, or inaccuracies. If you’d like to learn more about the life-saving gift of kidney donation, visit www.kidney.org.
Astute beta readers Amy Fogelson and Lindsay Hiatt yet again went the extra mile in talking me through their notes and off the ledge.
My publishing team at St. Martin’s Press—including Jen Enderlin, Katie Bassel, Erica Martirano, Brant Janeway, Alexis Neuville, Mara Delgado-Sanchez, everyone at Macmillan Audio, and so many others—works tirelessly to introduce my work to new readers.
The Library Foundation of Cincinnati and Hamilton County awarded me the honor of serving as their 2019 Writer-in-Residence during the drafting and revising of much of this book.
The rock stars at Joseph-Beth Booksellers and The Bookshelf have been kind in their support of a locally based author, and I’m endlessly grateful for the opportunities they’ve afforded me—and for the welcoming open doors of thriving independent bookstores everywhere.
Fellow writers have amazed me with their wisdom, good humor, and generosity along the way, including the Tall Poppy Writers, the team at Career Authors, my Writer’s Digest family, friends from 17 Scribes and WFWA, the Fiction Writers Co-op, and my Cin-Day sisterhood of Sharon Short, Katrina Kittle, and Kristina McBride.
My extended family makes a terrific team of cheerleaders: Love and thanks to the Yerega, Strawser, and Trachtenberg clans.
My husband, Scott, and our children are such good sports when it comes to this unpredictable career, with its odd hours and that dazed look I get when working through a plot problem in the middle of dinner. I love our life together, and I thank my lucky stars for you every day.
ALSO BY JESSICA STRAWSER
Forget You Know Me
Not That I Could Tell
Almost Missed You
About the Author
JESSICA STRAWSER is the author of the book club favorites Almost Missed You, Not That I Could Tell (a Book of the Month selection), and Forget You Know Me. She is Editor-at-Large for Writer’s Digest, and her work has appeared in The New York Times’ “Modern Love,” Publishers Weekly, and other fine venues. She lives with her husband and two children in Cincinnati. Visit her website at jessicastrawser.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1. Caroline
2. Sela
3. Caroline
4. Sela
5. Caroline
6. Sela
7. Caroline
8. Sela
9. Caroline
10. Sela
11. Caroline
12. Sela
13. Caroline
14. Sela
15. Caroline
16. Sela
17. Caroline
18. Sela
19. Caroline
20. Sela
21. Caroline
22. Sela
23. Caroline
24. Sela
25. Caroline
26. Sela
27. Caroline
28. Sela
29. Caroline
30. Sela
31. Caroline
32. Sela
33. Caroline
34. Sela
35. Caroline
36. Sela
37. Caroline
38. Sela
39. Caroline
40. Sela
41. Caroline
42. Sela
43. Caroline
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Also by Jessica Strawser
About the Author
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
First published in the United States by St. Martin’s Press, an imprint of St. Martin’s Publishing Group
A MILLION REASONS WHY. Copyright © 2021 by Jessica Strawser. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin’s Publishing Group, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.
www.stm
artins.com
Cover design by Danielle Christopher
Cover photograph © Mark Owen/Trevillion Images
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Strawser, Jessica, author.
Title: A million reasons why: a novel / Jessica Strawser.
Description: First edition. | New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2021.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020040964 | ISBN 9781250241627 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781250241634 (ebook)
Classification: LCC PS3619.T7437 M56 2021 | DDC 813/.6—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020040964
eISBN 9781250241634
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at [email protected].
First Edition: 2021
A Million Reasons Why Page 33