“I don’t know. It’s kind of sweet…romantic. The guy really is crazy about you, even if he acted like an ass. Plus, he looks like the type who can pull off a corny line and wet your panties while doing so.” She smirked, arching brow.
I tried to bite back my laughter. “It doesn’t matter. Nothing else is going to happen with Logan—not in the way he wants, at least. My only goal is to get him out of my head and out of my dreams; hell, he’s a constant there that I can’t bare much longer. Irrational or not, after everything he’s done for me, I’m not interested in a relationship with Logan.”
I planted my elbows on the table, cradling my chin.
“You’re both so damn headstrong I’m not sure what to say. I mean, Caleb says Logan’s a good guy and that he’s never seen him act like this over another girl before. That has to count for something.”
I sighed, head down, staring at my half-eaten sandwich with an appetite that suddenly abandoned me.
“It does, which is why I wish we could get over this attraction and try to go back to being friends. If only he could just see that it’s better that way.”
“All right, we’ll figure this out, and help you come to a place where he no longer affects you. But first, clarify…did he round any bases?”
I made a face. “Oh, he rounded a few. I’ve never felt anything like it before—I mean, Mark was always in such a rush to jump to the main event. He never…” I looked around, reminding myself I was in a room full of diners. “He never did that. Logan wanted to give me pleasure, while Mark was all about taking it for himself.”
“So it was good?” She lifted her fork and stabbed a piece of lettuce, grinning cheekily.
“More like phenomenal—better than any fantasy I could ever imagine. That is, until he refused to go further and then told me we couldn’t be friends.”
Hilary nearly choked on her mouthful of salad. “Why friends? I mean, you just said…”
“It’s what I want, all right? And if we can get over this attraction, I think we could have that again. Last night when we were talking, just talking…I missed that.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I need to have sex with him,” I stated with resolve.
“Um…why, exactly?” Her words came out as confused as the look on her face.
“It’s not as crazy as you make it sound! I think one night of sex would answer all my questions, once and for all. And then afterward, one of two things will happen: he’ll either leave satisfied, feeling like he conquered me the same as he has others and leave me alone for good, or he’ll see the only thing between us was lust—that I have hardly any experience in the bedroom to hold his attention, and that we’re better off as friends. As long as I keep my heart out of it, then it will be nothing more than a good time. One we both want.”
“And if he enjoys you in the bedroom and never wants to let you go?”
“This is Logan West we’re talking about. I know you don’t know him that well, but ask your boyfriend. Turns out he and Caleb have a history. He’ll tell you Logan is not one to settle down.”
“I know, he already has, constantly. Caleb was not thrilled about Logan pursuing you in the beginning; they actually had a few blowups over it. But since the hospital, Caleb’s convinced that Logan’s really in it for the right reasons. He cares about you. Listen, you’re my best friend, so just tell me what I can do to help.”
I shrugged, watching her pop the fork into her mouth. “I have a few ideas. I just have to play it right—make him think he’s winning, that he’s the one calling the shots. And then when I have him alone again, I’ll seduce him to the point that he can’t refuse.”
“Good luck,” she said, unconvinced. “Caleb says he’s a control freak.”
“That’s an understatement. Last night, he made it clear he thought he was in charge.”
“And obviously it wasn’t all bad.” Her face brightened and brows wiggled, her closed mouth turning up into a suggestive grin as she chewed.
“He has some talents to be applauded, but then again he has spent plenty of time learning. A man with that much experience should never disappoint.”
“Did you guys sleep naked? I mean, honestly, that seems impossible with the sexual tension you have going on.”
“He wore boxer briefs.”
“Very nice,” she said with a hint of laughter.
After finishing our food, I pushed my plate forward and pulled some money out of my wallet to tip the waiter. “All right, we ready now?”
“Can I be honest without you hating me?” she asked, stirring her empty glass of ice with her straw, peering up at me under her lashes.
I nodded hesitantly.
“I don’t think you should run out and forgive Logan right away, but I was with you that night. I saw how excited you were to meet him there. I know you were in love with him then.”
“I wasn—”
She held up her hand, cutting me off. “Listen, give it time, but don’t go screwing it up by trying to use sex to push him away so far that you’ll lose him. Natasha coming back that night had to have been a shock for both of you. He was hurting and acted out, but he wasn’t driving the car that hit you.”
“How he made me feel hurt ten times worse than that car.”
“I know.”
“No you don’t! What if Caleb said those things to you? Your worst fear thrown in your face, along with a cheap condom.” My voice was hushed and shattered, but conveyed the anger I felt. I was about to tell her about the two women he’d slept with, but I didn’t have it in me to bring it up. I never wanted to think about it again. I’d told him to move on, and he did—at least for the day.
“I get that you’re scared, and—”
“I’m terrified beyond words—freaking petrified!” I propped my elbows on the table, cradling my cheeks in my palms. “I can’t sleep at night without a sick need to call him or text him…beg him to come over and make it all go away. But I’m absolutely frightened that he’ll only hurt me again, and I can’t handle that. I’ve offered friendship, and I want to make that work if he sticks around after I give him what he really wants, but I’m not stupid enough to fall again.”
“Okay, just be careful.” She smiled gently, doing her best to be the loyal best friend I needed.
Finally, she seemed to understand. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Logan—I did, more than anything—I just couldn’t let go enough to risk another chance with him. I wasn’t sure I’d survive it, and I hated how weak it made me feel.
Chapter Seventeen
Best-Laid Plans
“Caleb!”
I heard rather than saw Oliver when he walked in. My head shot up, staring at the door where he stood, with Logan directly behind him.
My stomach tightened at the sight of him. His dark wool coat hung open, with his dark work suit underneath it. He looked good, but then again, he always did.
No. I needed to remain unaffected, no matter how much my brain replayed our last interaction—our first, but not last, rendezvous in bed.
“Hey, little buddy!” Caleb replied, bending down and holding up his hand for a high five.
“Are you going to go and say hi?” Hilary’s voice broke my stare.
I knew I shouldn’t, considering I’d been ignoring Logan’s texts since that night while I worked out my thoughts, but I didn’t want that to stop me from speaking to Oliver. Not to mention I needed to stick to the plan and get it over with.
“Yeah, a quick hello. I’ll be right back.”
As I walked over, smiling at how happy Oliver appeared, I stopped abruptly when I saw who entered behind Logan. Her head was down, placing her phone back in her purse, but I recognized her immediately: Natasha.
Slowly, I began to turn around, but it was too late. Logan saw me first and I couldn’t bring myself to look like a fool, so instead of turning back, I began to detour to the ladies’ room when Oliver called out, “Cassie!”
Damn it. Natas
ha being there forced my confidence out the window. I’d been trying to forget she even existed. I released a breath, ran my tongue over my dry lips, plastered a surprised smile on my face, then turned around.
“Hey! What are you up to?” I asked, strolling back over, eyes focused entirely on Oliver.
I could feel Logan’s piercing gaze boring into me. I had no doubt Natasha was staring as well, but I continued over, smiling at the young tot beaming as he wrapped his hand around the slender hand beside him. I followed it up the arm of his mother. My smile held firm, stinging my cheeks.
“This is my mom!” Oliver’s voice was proud, and full of genuine admiration for the woman. “This is Cassie!”
I nodded, taking her all in once again. The woman really was everything I would expect Logan to want. Her long legs rocked a pair of dark skinny jeans and she wore a pair of patent-leather knee-high boots with a black fitted jacket, an expensive scarf wrapped twice around her neck.
“Hi, it’s a pleasure to officially meet you, Cassie.” From the way she bit out my name, I knew we’d never be friends.
I noticed her glance from me to Logan and back again. It was then that I finally allowed myself to look over at him. He was watching with keen interest as I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“You too,” I replied as kindly as possible through my uncomfortable smile.
What else was I supposed to say? “Glad to see you’re back after abandoning your family?” Honestly, I wanted to lean forward and let her know what would happen if she broke Oliver’s fragile heart. The thought caused me to wince.
“So, Oliver tells me you’re a teacher. Sounds like an interesting job. All those kids running around.” She laughed once, and my dislike for her was cemented. It wasn’t fair to her, and it wasn’t like me, but my protectiveness for Oliver knew no bounds.
“Sorry, if you would excuse me for just a moment, I need to use the restroom.” I caught the knitted brow on Logan’s stern expression as I turned and ambled straight to the ladies’ room. I didn’t stop until I was in front of the small sink, hands gripping it on either side, face down, trying to collect my thoughts.
What was wrong with me? Was I always going to be this weak, now that I gave in just a little? No, soon enough this would be over.
Get it together!
I needed to prove to Logan, to myself, that I could hold my own and keep my heart protected after the war that withered it.
I’d tried to ignore her existence, even after I’d seen her leaving Logan’s house the day before. She was living with him, as far as I knew, and I couldn’t push past the worry that if she was living under the same roof as him, something might happen. They had a history, and it was obvious she wanted him. The fact that he allowed her to live there only helped me stick to my determination that he and I would never be a couple.
With a deep breath, I twisted on the cold water and splashed my hands in it. I ran it up my arms, cooling the heat flashes he’d set upon me. I wiped the wetness over my forehead, lost in how I was going to go back out there and play it cool. I felt antsy, my nerves skittering through my veins.
I sighed. Why did she have to be so beautiful?
“She’s nothing compared to you.”
I jumped, whipping around, splashing water on the floor in the process of turning to see Logan standing just inside the door.
Crap, did I say that out loud?
“What are you doing in here?” I gasped.
I looked around. Was I in the guys’ restroom? I cringed inwardly, my cheeks searing. My luck was always crap.
No urinals in sight—that was a good sign. I tilted my head just enough to sneak a quick peek under the few stalls for feet.
All alone. Phew.
The relieved feeling only lasted until I looked back at Logan and saw that intense look in his eyes—one that reminded me he’d slept with me, half naked, rubbing against him and looked forward to doing so again…soon.
This was it—the moment I needed him to play into my hand.
I took two long strides toward the door, but he blocked my path and, to my body’s uproar, reached back and twisted the lock.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, standing tall.
I needed to play hard to get or he’d see right through me, but his perfect five o’clock shadow and alluring lips were almost too much to endure.
“Unlock the door. Someone may need to come in! Someone, as in the woman living with you now.”
“I don’t care. And the only reason I haven’t kicked her out of my house is because I don’t want her using Oliver against me. I need to know why she came back, and I need to keep an eye on her when she’s around my son. But for the record, she’s sleeping in a guest room on the other side of the house. And nothing, I mean nothing, will ever happen between me and her again. It’s been over for years, Cassandra.”
“That’s none of my business.” I jutted out my chin, holding my own, protecting my heart swelling in my chest. “I’m leaving. Goodbye Logan.”
I went right and he mimicked my movement, so I stepped left and he did the same, dancing to block my every maneuver. I huffed a heavy sigh—not because I wanted to escape, but because I wanted to wrap myself around him and beg him to have me right there. Instead, I stepped back.
“Fine, what do you want?” I crossed my arms over my chest, big-girl panties on tight, putting on my show.
“To see you smile, always.” His words were so sweet and sincere, and they mirrored the soft gaze in his eyes.
I pulled on the most contrived smile I could muster, my eyes squinting in the process. “Happy now?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. Have lunch with me.”
“Already ate.”
“A drink.”
“Not thirsty.”
“A kiss.”
“Never again.” With that, I was feeling proud, and moved to brush past him.
No such luck. He twirled me around to face him, then stepped into me. I stepped back, and he continued until my heel was pressed into the tile wall and my back was firmly against it. His hands rested against the wall on either side of my head, palms flat.
“Logan,” I breathed. His clean scent, with a hint of lime, filled my senses.
“Cassandra.” His voice was so soft, so tender and delicious, that my insides caved. “One date—that’s all I want. A real date.”
No reply left my mouth as I looked up into his piercing blue eyes. His thumb trailed across the back of my hand, which hung stiffly at my side.
“I won’t take no for an answer,” he added.
It had only been three days since the night he claimed a part of me. The heat pooling in my center agreed that was too long. I was a strong, empowered woman; I told myself to keep the performance going. This was a man who would bring me to my knees and abandon me there if I wasn’t careful. That thought alone helped hide my arousal.
But when the tip of his tongue darted out and glossed a thin line across his bottom lip, I forgot everything except for my desire to taste his flawless lips hovering so close to mine.
I saw it in his eyes when I finally looked up. I stared too long and obliviously, and he knew it.
“Forgive me.”
What?
Before I could ask, his lips were on mine, hard and demanding. I fought not to give in to it, balling my hands and locking them at my side.
Hard to get. That was my role now, but damn, was it difficult.
I wasn’t going to touch him. If I kept my hands to myself and focused on something—anything—other than how amazing he felt and tasted, then maybe he’d take a hint and release me. Give me a chance to regroup.
He pulled back just enough to murmur, “Please.”
Everything inside me exploded, with his need devouring both of us. I stood my ground and opened my mouth to protest, but Logan used it to his advantage and slid his tongue inside.
I was done. My hands flew up to his neck, tugging and grasping his hair, losing myself in his em
brace. One arm was wrapped around my waist with his other hand on my cheek, holding me near. I couldn’t describe the emotions flurrying inside me—everything from passion, to need, to lust. I wanted to erase our past, making our lives easier.
It was I who finally found the strength to break the kiss. “Stop.”
He did so instantly.
Panting, I breathed out, “Your son is waiting with your ex.”
Thank God I could even think to speak, let alone find a valid excuse with the way my head was clouded from the passion that sparked between us.
He smiled and leaned back in, placing a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose, then stepped away, giving me breathing room.
“Natasha wanted to take him out alone for lunch. I agreed only on the condition that I’d bring him and wait here while they ate.”
“I thought she lived with you.”
“I allow her to stay in the guest house in the back with a few ground rules. We came to a compromise that she’d be able to stay there and see Oliver under supervision, as long as she understood that I was off limits completely. Until I figure out her game, I’d prefer to keep my eye on her, anyway.”
“Just your eye?” I scoffed.
“Don’t ever be jealous of her. I’m not interested, and that will never change.”
He stood in front of me, watching my every breath, waiting for my reply that never came. Instead, I focused on the other part of his statement—one that was equally surprising.
“Since when do you compromise, anyway?” I laughed.
“I’ve done so on rare occasion,” he replied, searching me. “Do you have anything in particular you’d like to compromise on?”
My brows pulled in. “Like what? You leaving me alone and me not kneeing you in the balls the next time you try to touch me?”
The corner of his lip curled up. “I was thinking more like you go on a date with me and I’ll stop pressing you into walls and beds—at least, until you’re ready.” I caught the gleam in his eye, testing me.
I hated to admit how much I liked him pressing me into things. I bit my lip, not pleased with my thoughts. I was going to have to deal with Logan in a new way if I wanted to keep my heart out of it and protected. A light flicked on in my head and I stepped forward, standing toe to toe with Logan, who stared down at me, intrigued.
Irreplaceable (Harmony) Page 17