“Oh you know, normal brother stuff: threats, beatings, death. No big deal,” he said. There was the slightest edge of a laugh in his words. I gnawed at my lower lip. I was self-conscious knowing they had talked to him; they could have told him any number of embarrassing stories about me.
“Did they tell you anything about me?”
Grey studied my face before answering with a naughty little smile. “This is really bothering you, huh?” he said, looking almost happy at his newfound power. Sick.
“Yes,” I said. I felt my cheeks burn red. Grey laughed. Even his laugh was sensuous to me. I had the desire to lean forward again and capture his sweet lips in mine. He was my match in every way, the zesty mustard to my spicy ketchup.
“You really want to know?” he asked. He looked at me over his unnaturally long lashes. The air of danger always surrounded him, and it was intoxicating and alluring. I nodded slowly, carefully.
“They kindly explained all the ways they would end my life if I dared to hurt you ever again. Including, but not limited to, dismemberment, bare-knuckle boxing in the Bloodrealms, and a sound lashing,” he said. “I don’t know what most of their threats meant, but I have a feeling I should be afraid.”
“Sounds like them,” I said. I had to admit, it was sweet that my brothers were sticking up for my honor. At the same time, did they have to be so primitive?
“You look sleepy,” Grey said.
“I’m not tired,” I said, fighting to keep my eyes open. He scooped me up like a baby in his arms and held me close. I rested my head on his shoulder.
A light knock came at the door, and Baran stepped in. He was so preoccupied, he hardly noticed me cuddling in Grey’s arms. “Sorry to bother you,” he said.
“It’s okay,” I said.
He paced back and forth around my room a few times before finally sitting down on my bed facing us. Whatever he came to say, it wasn’t going to be easy for him.
“Grey, I wanted to tell you about your mother,” Baran said, his voice raw with emotion. Grey’s body tensed, and his arms felt like solid rock around my body. His emotions crashed over me so quickly, I felt nauseous. “I should have years ago, but I never could find the way to bring it up. Now that you know what we are, I think it’s time you knew who you are. . . . Your mother, Brenna, was my twin sister. We were the youngest of the Killian pack of Scotland, and we were inseparable. When Brenna and I were just eighteen years old, we traveled through Paris. One day, she was approached by another wolf of higher status, and he demanded she marry him. She blatantly refused, and he beat her. I broke in and stopped him, but that only angered him more. I knew it wouldn’t be the last we saw of him, so we fled from the city and returned home to the safety of our pack in Scotland.
“I learned his name, Verci Dvergar, uncle to Adomnan, and that we were lucky to be alive. As was predicted, he tracked us to Scotland with his pack, and he rallied the neighboring humans in an attack against our family in the middle of the night. He brutally killed our family and the rest of our pack. We were outnumbered four to one, not even including the humans. When just Brenna and I were left, the humans went on their way, leaving us to our fate with Verci. I couldn’t protect her. I was gravely outnumbered, and they had broken all the bones in my body—and as my bones healed, they rebroke them. Verci raped Brenna, but she never cried out, she never let him take that from her. She was strong like that.
“When we thought all hope was lost and the end had come, King Pørr Boru, Ashling’s father, brought the Boru pack, the Kingerys, and the Kahedins to save us. They were able to exterminate most of the enemy pack, but Verci fled to his father’s kingdom in Iceland.”
Grey’s face was calm, but I could feel his emotions. He was filled with rage. It slammed around inside of me, taking my breath away. It nearly vibrated, but somehow he kept his physical self still. He was controlling his physical being in a way I had never seen before.
“Pørr brought us to the Boru Kingdom in Ireland, but Brenna’s struggle didn’t end back in Scotland as it should have. She was pregnant. It was not only a dishonor to her and our family, but it meant Verci could come back and claim them. To protect her and her son, Willem—your half brother—I took Willem, and she ran. She fled Ireland and took refuge in the New World,” Baran said, his voice cracking. A dark cloud of the memories washed over his face. My heart ached for his pain, and I was appalled by the brutal assault Brenna had endured, only to be separated from her son. It must have nearly destroyed her.
I hadn’t noticed when they all came in, but the rest of our family had joined us, sitting around the room on the floor. Baran lovingly rubbed the surface of an old, battered, tin-tile photograph before he handed it to Grey. A beautiful woman with Grey’s intense eyes stared back at us. Even in the black-and-white photo, her eyes glowed. She wore a beautiful two-leaf copper necklace at her throat.
Grey looked into the face of his mother with admiration. His muscles twitched, and he held me tighter. His rage was consumed by sorrow.
Baran continued, “Willem grew and learned so quickly, so we soon set out on our own as nomads. We traveled all over Europe into Russia and Asia, making friends as we went. We visited Brenna from time to time, but for the most part, I kept Willem away from her to protect them both. Two centuries ago, I lost Willem while traveling through Greece; he met Khepri, and that was it. They settled down in Scotland, and I found myself alone once again.
“Time went on, and I saw Brenna more often over those two centuries, though I spent much of my time in Scotland protecting the Killian humans. About eighteen years ago, I lost track of Brenna. She had moved, and I had lost her scent. It took me four years to find her, and by then I was too late. She was dead when I finally found her in York Harbor. Her body lay limp in the river by the twisted oak. Knife wounds were all over her abdomen, and her head was missing, but I knew her scent. It was the most brutal thing I’ve ever seen, and I have lived for a long time and seen many evils of humankind.
“I was planning my revenge when I caught your scent, Grey. It was all over the oak tree. I followed it up to find you still hiding in the branches—a small two-year-old boy with her big green eyes, silently crying. You weren’t afraid of me. I assumed you saw it all, but whoever killed her didn’t see you.
“She left her lineage tattooed on your wrist as a path to your home. I called the local police and reported finding her body while hiking, and I stayed with you until the police arrived. I followed as they took you home to your father. I thought at the time that he was too shocked to cry, but now I realize it was he who killed her; I don’t know if he knew when he married her what she was, or if he had planned all along to take the spirit from her body. I was too relieved to find you alive to see the truth in Robert. I’m sorry I failed you, but I vowed that day to protect you. It’s what she would have wanted. And she would have wanted you to know who she really was.”
Baran cried, and Tegan held his hand, comforting him. I felt wretched, and my eyes glistened with tears. Grey didn’t look at anyone—he just kept staring at the photo of his mother—but I could feel his pain. I shuddered to think of the pain she must have been in to wear that silver band on her finger. Years of wearing it would have eaten away at her strength.
Baran went on to tell us Brenna had been carefree and wild and that she had Grey’s beautiful green eyes and his stubborn rebellion. She was tall and lean and beautiful. Grey’s breath was ragged in my ear. I knew it was hard for him to hear. Everything his father had ever told him was a lie, but even if his father was a monster, there was still a bond between them. His heart must have been breaking. I wished I could fix his pain, but there was nothing I could do to ease his suffering.
“Grey, you are one of my pack, and if you want to join me, I’d be glad to welcome you as a Killian,” Baran said.
Everyone waited for his reply. Even I wasn’t sure what he would say. Had I been in his place, I would have curled up into the fetal position and wept for days. But Grey’s face
remained calm, and he sat perfectly still with his arms wrapped around me.
“Thank you for sharing my mom with me. I would be honored to stand with you as a Killian,” Grey said. There was such pride in his voice. I admired him.
Baran nodded his head and stood to leave. “I’ve given you a lot to think about, so I’ll leave you to your thoughts.” He nodded to the others, and they left quietly, leaving Grey and me alone once again. I didn’t know what to say or even where to begin. He finally knew the truth; it made my heart soar, but it also made me want to cry for him. What could I say at a moment like this?
The only thing I knew for sure: “Grey, I love you,” I told him. I snuggled into his shoulder. I did love him, no matter who or what he was or where he came from. Human, Bloodsucker, or wolf, he was mine. By all the gods, I had made my choice.
I didn’t want him to know what I was sacrificing, that the prophecy wouldn’t be fulfilled with a human by my side, but I couldn’t lose him again. There would be nothing left of me, I would just lie down and die. My heart would open up and let my soul free; only my body would remain to shrivel away with time. He was the piece of my soul I was always missing. That stupid journal had it all wrong. I chose Grey, and there was nothing the fates could do to change that. I loved every part of him, even his dark side. We all had a dark side.
“You are everything to me,” Grey said.
His words washed over me. I was his, in every way possible. His love gave me hope that I would survive this. Adomnan was nothing compared to our love. He had nothing and we had everything.
19
Embrace
Grey picked me up, carried me to my bed, and swept the blankets back. I was sure he was about to kiss my lips, my very ready lips. I looked up at him through my darkened lashes, waiting for him to fulfill the unspoken promise. I wanted it more than I could have imagined. My blood boiled in my veins for the taste of his tongue. I wanted every bit of his scent swirling all around me. He sat straddled above me, with his strong hand on the center of my back as he guided me down to the soft mattress. He laid my head on my pillow, and my hair cascaded over my face, covering half of it in secret. His body was barely touching mine, but I could feel his heart beat like a sledgehammer on my skin.
My breath rushed out through my partially opened lips as his fingers lightly traced over them. His fingers were rough on my delicate skin as they continued their pursuit down around my jaw line. Leaving behind burning flames on my skin. I felt lightheaded as he continued down my neck, caressing my throat. His thumb rubbed the hollow at the base, lingering there before continuing across my collarbone to the very tip of my shoulder.
Another gust of air whooshed out of my lungs, but the air coming in was so sweet with his scent. His blood was warmer, deeper. Enticing. My eyes felt heavy with his delightful poison.
His touch continued down my arms toward my fingers. I wanted him. I wanted to touch him, to taste him, to feel him. I breathed his scent deeper into my lungs, burning them. It felt like a million little knives stabling into my lungs from the inside—and I wanted more. Glutton for more punishment and more pleasure.
He brought each of my fingertips to his lips, one by one. Lightly kissing them, leaving a moist reminder behind. His gentle kisses started to grow more urgent with each erratic breath he took. He finally followed the blazing path he had left behind, kissing up my arm to my elbow. He paused as he pressed his lips to my pulsing vein at my wrist. It was almost too much to bear to remain still, but I wanted to feel it all. His forbidden lips pulsed on my veins.
He kissed every inch of my collarbone, setting my skin ablaze. His soft lips finally reached the base of my neck, but he pulled back, watching my wild eyes. He wanted it all too. To drown in our love. His intense eyes were greedily taking me all in, devouring the very sight of me. His lips curved up to a sly, sexy smile.
His head bowed back down to my collarbone, and his warm, moist tongue touched my skin for the first time. I gasped at the unexpected exhilaration. He licked me up my long neck to just under my ear. I needed his kiss. I turned my head, capturing his mouth with mine, our tongues intertwining in a very personal dance. His mouth was intoxicating.
He pulled away, leaving my lips feeling raw and unsatisfied. I wanted to nibble at his lower lip. It was red from all the blood rushing through him, but his eyes were wide with fear. Was he afraid of me? Had I hurt him? I studied his face and the washes of emotions that followed like a storm.
“We should stop,” he said.
I leaned up and kissed his lips again. No part of me wanted to stop. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to touch his skin. I wanted it to lead anywhere we wanted to go as long as I was with him. I trusted him and loved him inescapably.
His lips, reluctantly at first, followed mine in another deep kiss. The energy in the room vibrated around us, but he pulled away again, but this time I pursued him, after another kiss. Unrelenting. He nipped at my lip in return, catching my plump lower lip between his teeth. Nibbling it. Stimulating every cell in my body. A mischievous smile consumed his face. It was dazzling how cruelly handsome he was, and having his lips this close to mine without being able to touch them was completely distracting.
As he studied my face, concern washed over him; something was bothering him, but he guarded his feelings well. “Did I do something wrong?” I asked. I felt uncharacteristically shy.
“Never,” he said. He lightly rubbed his nose on mine, but he still seemed disconnected. Part of him was lost somewhere, somewhere he couldn’t or wouldn’t take me.
I felt jealous that he would keep secrets from me. The energy in the room still throbbed with excitement. “Kiss me,” I said.
The corner of his mouth turned up again, showing his gleaming teeth just below his upper lip. The wolf was obvious in him. He was wild too—I could see it in his eyes. Years of his obedience were just waiting to spill over and rebel, and I wanted so much to be there with him when he let go of the restraint. I wished it would be now. I wanted to know where that could lead. But I saw plainly in his eyes—he had made up his mind to behave at least for tonight. Though his naughty little smile still played at his lips.
“You want me, don’t you?” he asked.
I felt my face flush. I wasn’t sure why I was so embarrassed by his statement, but I felt like a little kid who had been caught red-handed. “Yes,” I said.
His smirk turned into a full-out wolfish grin. “Good,” he replied, “that’s how I like it.”
“Overconfident half-breed,” I said as I shoved him off my bed. My hair wildly framed my face as I leaned precariously over the edge of the bed above him, calculating my attack. He pretended to be hurt by what I had said, but I knew he was up to no good. No matter how he tried to contain his smile, it kept breaking through his reserved expression.
I leapt off the bed, landing with all my weight on his chest. He didn’t even flinch. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of his scent, holding his musk in my lungs. My eyes flashed open, and I jumped off his chest to my window. In a miraculously smooth movement, I opened it and leapt out into the falling snow. Everything was coated in white as I caught my footing on a tree branch.
It was a winter wonderland. Simply beautiful.
The snow-covered world allowed an eerie blue essence to surround the forest. I looked back to my bedroom window, hoping Grey was surprised by my stealth, speed, and grace, but he wasn’t there. I crept out on the branch toward the house to peek in and get a glimpse of where he was hiding, then the hair on my neck went rigid. I heard the branch crack behind me and watched snow plop down to the ground. My gaze unconsciously followed it.
The once-pure snow was now stained red.
I could smell fresh blood behind me. It made the animal inside me scream with hunger. I worked up the courage to turn my head over my shoulder to see the predator that had made me as its prey. My hair caught in the wind, and the swirling snow around my face pierced my skin.
“Boo.” I heard Adomnan�
�s vile voice behind me. I turned to see him crouching a few feet away, holding the small, lifeless body of a little boy in his cruel hands. Blood still dripped from his cold lips. “I was hoping you’d join me for dinner.”
The child couldn’t have been more than eight years old, and his skin was an unnatural blue. My heart ached for his poor young soul. The sadistic look on Adomnan’s face sent chills down my spine. He looked straight out of a horror film, but his clothes were pristine as always. Even with the blood on his face, his beauty could not be denied.
I looked around for his brothers, certain they had me surrounded, but to my horror, they were nowhere to be seen. My only thoughts were of them attacking my unsuspecting family. Panic raked through my body in a shudder. He smiled back at me, answering my fears with his happiness. The branch cracked again from our joint weight, and the tree groaned at our intrusion.
“You’re a monster,” I said.
“Indeed,” he replied, licking the blood from his lips.
The sickness in him was far deeper than I could have imagined, and I knew he would never stop until he had me. This wasn’t just a game to him. This was where it would all end. If I went with him quietly, maybe he would let my family live. Mund would have remorse and always wonder if he could have done more, but he would have Tegan and Nia. He’d move on eventually, and I knew Baran would look after Grey.
I just had to accept my sacrifice. My life for theirs.
In a blur, Grey’s body flew past mine, violently smashing into Adomnan, knocking me off my branch. My body slammed into the ground, and the pain spiraled through me. The pain from my leg vibrated up into my pelvis, causing me to gag. It must have broken. The little boy’s body fell in a lump at the base of the tree. Ignoring the excruciating throbs in my leg, I crawled over to the boy and held his cold, lifeless body in my hands. I didn’t want to cry in front of Adomnan, but my tears ran down my cheeks for the boy. I chanted to Old Mother to welcome him to her kingdom.
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