“I’m aware, but deals with that one tend to wind up working in unexpected ways.” Vassago waved his hand at me, and the ring on my hand went white hot. Crimson light spilled from it as emerald fire swirled around us.
As my vision filled with emerald fire, a door appeared in front of us. It sucked at all of us like a black hole, causing the ring to flare like the sun.
“Open it,” Sam said, and as I reached out and gripped the knob, crimson light burst from my ring and spilled across the whole of the door, burning through it in the space of the heartbeat and revealing the pulsing emptiness of the void beyond.
I reached out toward that void, my tattoos flaring to life with scarlet Hellfire. My ring turned molten. From the depths of the doorway, I felt something ancient and monstrous take notice of me. It caught sight of me, and as it did, I realized it was the cat in my head… only it was so much more than that. It was like the entirety of Hell was staring deep into my soul.
“So you’ve come at last,” her voice crackled across my brain as her snow white corpse hand reached from the void, took my hand, and rubbed her thumb across the molten metal band.
“What do you mean?” I asked, stunned as the world around us started to dissolve.
“With this you can travel between the realms.” Her grin widened. “Whether it is into the depths of Hell or through the Gates of Heaven, none can bar your passage while you wear my ring, for I am the keeper of all the realms and the monitor of all the doors. I am the key to all locks.” That grin stretched even wider as she stepped from the portal and pulled me into her embrace. It was like being enveloped by ice and death, by misery and pain. But mostly? Mostly it was like having rage swirl around you in an endless tirade of destruction.
“Okay,” I said, trying to ignore the horrible feeling settling over me. I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, but it didn’t seem good, and I just wanted to go home. “Just take me back to earth.”
“Whatever you say, husband.” She spun and stepped through the doorway, pulling me along. “I’m nothing if not the obedient wife.”
Sam and Jenna stumbled into me as those words hit me like a punch to the gut. That combined with their sudden weight made me stumble forward into the void.
It sucked at me, pulling me apart and reassembling me over and over as the four of us were rendered down into atoms and scattered across the universe, and the only thing I could think was: did I somehow marry the demon in my head? Because, let me just say right now, if I had, my girlfriend was going to be ten kinds of pissed.
28
I smashed into the nearly full open dumpster hard enough to plow through the black garbage bags and smash my forehead against the metal bottom. Sticky trash filled the space around me, covering me with all manner of goo and slime. The smell went straight to my gut, and though I tried to resist the urge to retch, I still gagged.
Sunlight streamed from overhead, and as I struggled to pull myself free, rage filled me. I wasn’t sure what had happened in the time between going through the door in Hell and winding up here, but why the fuck did I always have to fall into a dumpster? Like, wasn’t there any place else in the entire fucking world I could find to land in?
“Mac, are you okay?” Jenna called, and her voice had an edge of near hysteria to it. Her head peeked over the edge of the dumpster as I gripped the metal edge with my black as night hand and pulled myself free of the trash. The ring on my finger was glowing like the cursed daystar overhead, but I was so glad to be in a place where the sky wasn’t filled with flying reptiles I didn’t care.
“Yeah,” I said as she gripped my left hand and helped me out of the dumpster. She seemed a bit scuffed, but was otherwise fine. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Sam,” Jenna said, pointing to the spot beside the dumpster. Sam lay sprawled across the glass strewn street, eyes far off and vacant. “Something's wrong. I can feel it.” She touched the cartoon devil emblazoned on her face.
“That’s not good,” I said, dropping down beside her and brushing what bits of trash I could from my clothing. It didn’t help with the gunk, but at least I didn’t have snotty tissues stuck to me anymore.
“Jenna…” Sam rasped, and the sound of his voice grated on me in a way that made me want to help him. “Come here.” He tried to pull himself back into a sitting position, but wound up collapsing. “I need to take that off you before it’s too late.”
I glanced at Jenna as the sky above us began to darken and thunder crackled. She swallowed hard as the devil began to pulse and a scream tore from her throat. She collapsed, eyes rolling up into the back of her skull. I grabbed her around the waist and gasped. Her skin was like ice. Literally. Fog rolled off of her like the tattoo on her skin was sucking away all her heat.
“What’s going on,” I cried, half-dragging her toward Sam as the sky darkened menacingly and lightning arced through the clouds.
“I’m not used to being in the real world,” Sam said, trying to sit up. This time he made it to his elbows. He held himself there, arms shaking as I dropped down beside him with Jenna. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Fucking fix her. I didn’t go through all of this just to have her die now that we’re back on earth,” I snarled as rain began to pour from the sky. Huge fat angry drops pelted me as Sam reached out one shaking hand and touched Jenna’s forehead. As he did, the tattoo faded. Golden light rippled across the air around his hand before surging up inside him in a way I’d only seen a few times before. Angel light. Like the kind Maya had used to injure Mammon.
My eyes widened. “Maya?” I called, spinning around to look for her.
“Mac, I’m okay.” Maya’s voice was strangely distant, and as I turned toward it, I realized she was sitting against the far end of the alley, scrunched up against the back gate with her arms around her knees. “I just need a minute.” She took a deep breath. “I think I’m still dead.”
“Okay…” I said, turning back toward Jenna. I’d check again on Maya in a second, but Jenna was my top priority.
Jenna’s breathing had stabilized, and as the last of the glow disappeared into Sam, her eyes fluttered open.
“Jenna,” I cried, and as I reached out from her, the heavens tore themselves asunder. Lightning exploded, striking the buildings on either side of us like we were in the center of an electrical storm.
“I’m okay,” she said as I took her hand and hauled her to her feet. Her arms wrapped around me as she buried her face in my neck. “Thanks for saving me.”
Sam sucked in a deep breath and stood, stretching. His arms snaked out to his sides as he did so, and I could have sworn when the next flash of lightning illuminated the alley, his shadow had wings, but not like any I’d seen before. No, these were majestic, divine even.
“You’ve done me a service, Mac,” he said, turning toward me, strangely energized now that he’d pulled the mark from Jenna. Part of me didn’t care. Now that the mark was gone, she seemed to be recovering. “But I need to get out of here before my family shows up.”
The heavens boomed again, and as Sam turned to take his leave, the cat reappeared in my head full force. I staggered backward, trying to ignore the sense that her sudden presence was going to make my brain explode.
“Stop!” I cried, reaching up and grabbing my temples as blood rushed from my nose.
“Get back!” She screamed so loudly, I actually flung both Jenna and I backward. My tattoos lit up and my ring blazed as my feet left the ground. We crashed into the chain-link wall beside Maya as a burning ball of golden fire slammed into the pavement at the entrance to the alley like a goddamned meteor.
I wasn’t sure what was going on, but the cat in my mind had receded enough to let me focus on the scene at hand, but she was so angry, she was hissing and spitting. My tattoos blazed to life, and it took everything in me to keep from leaping to my feet and throwing Hellfire at the cloud of debris in front of the alley.
The blaze inside the rising dust cloud was so bright, I had to s
hield my eyes to keep from going blind as two winged figures dressed in full on golden battle armor strode forth from the fire. Their skin gleamed with divine energy as they clutched swords of flame and pointed them at Sam. I leapt to my feet, ready to defend my friend, but before I could, he glanced over his shoulder at me and winked.
“Gabriel, Michelle, it’s been ages,” Sam said, nodding his head toward them by way of greeting as his eyes raked over the two angels. “I’m guessing you two aren’t happy to see me.” He sighed.
“We’ll give you one chance to return to Hell,” Gabriel said as he stepped forward. Electricity crackled all around him and the heavens boomed as he spoke.
“Yeah, not happening,” Sam replied. “I’m going to give you one chance to leave. If you do, I promise to be a good boy. Cool?” He smiled at them, but all it did was make Gabriel’s eyes harden.
Michelle stood back a bit and swallowed hard. She looked nearly hysterical from fear. Why was she so scared? She was a fucking archangel and was fucking terrified. I wasn’t sure who the fuck Sam really was, but if Michelle was this fucking scared…
“Promise?” Michelle asked, and her voice was a terrified squeak. Her hand was tight on her gleaming sword, and her whole arm shook. She did not want to fight Sam, which seemed insane given that no one in Hell had paid him much mind.
“Yes.” He shrugged. “I plan on getting a few hookers and snorting some cocaine off of them. After that, who knows?”
“No deal,” Gabriel said, stepping toward Sam and raising his flaming sword to strike.
“You never were the reasonable one, Gabby,” Sam said, snapping his fingers.
The archangel Gabriel exploded into a cloud of red that splattered across the entirety of the alleyway like someone had fed him into a fucking wood-chipper. Blood and guts sprayed across my face, and as I wiped it away, the archangel’s flaming sword hit the ground with an empty clang.
The heavens screamed in pain as Sam turned his eyes upon Michelle. More rain began to fall as the wind howled and shrieked. Michelle glanced up, tears in her eyes, and nodded as the rain pelted her face.
“Do you promise?” she asked, sheathing her weapon as she turned her gaze back to Sam. She seemed cowed, which made perfect fucking sense. I wasn’t sure how Sam had done it with a snap of his fingers, but I was immediately glad he was on our side.
“I promise I’ll be good.” Sam nodded to her. “Seriously. I have exactly zero desire to do much of anything.” He grinned. “I’m selfish that way.”
Michelle swallowed hard, eyes vacant as she watched Gabriel’s bits mix with the pelting rain. “Then go.”
“Much obliged,” Sam said, glancing over his shoulder at me and grinning. “Oh and Michelle. If you guys take it out on Mac and his friends, I’ll be fucking pissed. I’m serious. Let it be known. If someone is stupid enough to so much as fuck with the girl who sells Mac his donuts, I will rain down unholy vengeance upon them. So it is said and so it shall fucking be. Understand?”
“Yes,” she said, eyes sweeping emptily over us in a way that told me she’d barely even seen us. Then she knelt down, picked up Gabriel’s sword, and cradled it against her body like a baby. “I will make it known, Lucifer.”
While I’d initially been excited to hear I was under the protection of someone who could destroy an archangel with the snap of his fingers that elation vanished into the air when I heard Michelle call him by name. Had I really done what I thought I’d done? No… it didn’t seem possible...
“Wait, you’re the fucking devil?” I asked, hoping beyond hope I was right. For one thing, I wasn’t ready to deal with the fact I’d let the fucking Devil out of his cage in Hell. For two, well, he’d just declared to the whole world that no one could fuck with me, and I was so fucking tired. Part of me wanted to believe it was true because with the Devil at my back, maybe I could take a day off and spend time with my girlfriend. It also meant I wouldn’t have to worry about Jenna or Ricky or fucking anyone because who was going to fuck with Lucifer?
“I prefer Lucifer,” Sam said, smirking as he walked up to me and held out his hand. “And thanks again for letting me out of my cage, Mac. I owe you one.”
“Um... you’re welcome,” I replied, taking his hand, and as we shook, the sky above screamed in pain and the whole of the world shuddered around us.
“By the way,” he said, pulling his hand away. “I have it on good authority that the fair is in town and if there’s one thing Ricky loves, it’s the fair. You should take her.”
With that, the sound of wings filled my ears, and he vanished into the night, leaving us with only the sounds of Michelle’s sobs audible over the pounding rain.
And you know what the sad thing was?
I didn’t fucking care because as I hoisted Jenna to her feet and we made our way out of the bloody alleyway, I knew one thing to be certain. The Devil was out of his cage, and he wasn’t going to let anyone fuck with me. I didn’t know how bad the first part was, but the second part sounded great to me. So much so, that I was going to ignore the first part in the hopes it sorted itself out.
“What do you think of that?” Jenna asked, glancing at me as we left the alleyway and I found myself staring across the street at the local laundromat.
“I think it’s time to take my girlfriend on a date, but afterward, I’d love to get a cup of coffee with you, so don’t skip town, okay?” I asked.
She looked at me for a long time before leaning in and kissing me lightly on the cheek. “Okay, Mac. I have a lot of memories I’d love to share with you.” Then she slapped me on the ass. “Now go show your girlfriend a good time.”
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Hellbound: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Thrice Cursed Mage Book 6) Page 16