Chapter 1
COOPER
Home is where the heart is. That’s what they say, don’t they?
That a place, a building, is actually where you can be at peace. Where you can be yourself.
Until I was twenty years old, I didn’t believe in that bullshit.
I knew it to be crap.
Home was where you slept. Where you pressed your head to the pillow and could rest without fear of anyone trying to hurt you.
For nineteen years, I lived in blissful ignorance. Until I met Lauren.
She changed it all. Changed me. And all these years later, I was still trying to figure out exactly how the fuck that happened.
My jaw clenched as I pulled into Willow Hearth, a town where I’d lived during my college years, only twenty minutes away from my alma mater.
It was small, but large enough to have two schools attached to the district. More subdivisions than anything, an IHOP and a couple of ethnic restaurants that were actually better than anything I’d found in the Big Apple.
Weird that I remembered that now as I was pulled over by a cop.
All of a sudden there he was behind me. I wasn’t doing a damn thing wrong, hadn’t been speeding, and sure as shit hadn’t been weaving in and out of the lines—there was zero reason to pull me over, and yet, the douche was.
Grumbling under my breath as I pulled in on the side of the road, just far away enough from the verge so as not to fear for my cherry red Lexus, I waited for the officer to approach.
An old bastard. In his fifties, probably due for retirement, and pissy about it.
“License and registration, please, sir.”
I shot him a tight smile, knowing I’d get further with honey than vinegar. Reaching for my documents in the glove compartment, I passed them over.
“Are you aware your license is overdue, sir?”
I blinked. That was why he pulled me over?
“It can’t be,” I told him, still blinking at him. “My PA handled that last month.”
She had to have done, didn’t she?
I scowled at the thought, then groaned. Fucking Tiffany with her fucking baby hormones.
Jesus, the girl had gone crazy once she’d had a bun in the oven. My competent as fuck PA had morphed into a ditzy bag of estrogen the minute she’d seen the blue line on the pregnancy test.
I’d been paying the price ever since.
Groaning under my breath, I grit out, “I apologize, officer. My PA’s pregnant and is forgetting even the basic sh—” I cleared my throat, gritted my teeth again. “I understand you’ll have to fine me.”
It would serve her right if I docked the fine from her fucking salary, but Jesus, I couldn’t do that.
Tiffany reminded me of Lauren some days. And now she was pregnant, she reminded me of all the things I could have had once but would never be able to have now.
In fact, her baby bump was one of the reasons I was all the way back in Willow Hearth, Maine.
The back end of beyond wasn’t my stomping ground anymore. I was a marketing executive now for an advertising company in Manhattan, one I interned at all those years ago.
Leviathan and Dronig had been my home now for the past eight years, and I was tired of that.
Home being my place of work wasn’t enough anymore.
Seeing Tiffany’s baby belly grow had only cemented that further.
I needed to know what Lauren made of herself.
Badly.
I needed to see where all her dreams and talent had taken her.
I needed to see who she was married to, if she had kids. What kind of jerk had been the lucky fucker to nab her…
Because, I was in no doubt that she’d be married by now. That she’d have kids, and that she’d be a career woman too.
She was like that.
Any guy who she was lucky enough to be with would just never let her go.
Well, that is, aside from me.
I’d been the dumb schmuck who’d let her go free.
The cop blinked back at me, equally as surprised by my equanimity. “That’s all right, sir,” he told me, his accent thick and clogged with that bumpkin sound unique to Maine.
I’d missed it.
“Just make sure your license is arranged as soon as possible.”
I reared back. Seriously? He was letting me go.
I cleared my throat. “I appreciate that, officer.”
The man tapped his cap, then headed back to his vehicle. I waited for him to get behind the wheel and take off, letting two cars separate us before I headed back onto the road too.
Shit, that had been a close call.
Not that I couldn’t afford the ticket now. I could, but still, it would have been a bitch to arrange.
Especially as I couldn’t entrust it to Tiffany anymore.
Thank Christ she was on maternity leave now. I only hoped that when the baby popped out, my ever-competent PA would be back to normal.
Somehow, I doubted it.
Women changed after they had a baby, didn’t they? They became all mushy. Lost their hard edge. At forty-two, I’d been surprised at Tiffany’s news. Had expected her to remain the bulldog she’d always been. Over the past four months, she’d morphed into a mother hen.
Had even bitched at me over how much coffee I was drinking.
I rolled my eyes at the memory, and then, I stopped thinking about Tiffany because I was entering the township and it was exactly the fucking same as it had always been.
Jesus.
This place hadn’t changed a bit.
Arranged around a square with a memorial in the center for soldiers lost to the many wars the US had fought in, a list that was way too long for such a small town, I couldn’t believe how it was like going back in time.
The post office was there, as was the mom and pop restaurant, the pharmacy, and the Mexican and Italian restaurants that had popped up in my first year of school. I could see the IHOP in the distance, then let my gaze drift across the small grocery store that most people bypassed for the nearest Walmart thirty minutes away and yet was still going strong…
The nostalgia and the feels this place gave me was, beyond a doubt, weird.
A good weird, I guessed. But still, bizarre nonetheless.
I was here for work but maybe also pleasure.
I lived at my job, pretty much. Life was bland when it came down to anything other than the excitement of my career. So, this two-week potential break I was taking for myself was more than unusual—the VP, the man I answered to, had nearly choked on his coffee when I’d put in the request.
He’d told me to take three weeks, and a real vacation somewhere, but I’d figured that was too much. Truth was, you knew you were working too many hours when even your bosses were obsessing over your hours.
I guessed, in a way, it was proof of how large of an asset I was to the team. A fact that filled me with satisfaction.
Rubbing my chin, I set my GPS for another destination. I’d had it programmed to take me to the town center, for old times sake. Now, I was intending to deal with work first then maybe get some downtime in.
The drive out of the town toward the Gandy residence took barely fifteen minutes. As the GPS led me out of the center, I picked up the markers, so I wouldn’t have to use the GPS again, and found my way relatively easily to the front gates of a large estate.
Eying it from behind the grand cast iron fencing, I whistled under my breath.
This was why I’d had to come and visit Gandy myself. He should have come to the New York office; it would have been a damn sight easier all told. But, when an assistant had emailed me and told me that Gandy was pretty much a recluse, and then had listed his address… Well, I had to come.
A house call wasn’t something listed on my duties as Advertising Exec, but I was willing to go the extra mile when that extra mile would take me back to my old stomping grounds.
As well as earn me a pretty bundle in the upcoming months if Gandy l
iked our ideas.
Pressing the intercom, I waited for someone to answer and to open the gate.
I’d surprised myself by making good time. I wanted this project underway.
Either Gandy would be signing the papers I’d brought with me today, or I’d be enjoying the next two weeks free from the pressures of work.
For a second, a sensation akin to panic flooded me.
Two weeks without work?
I’d brought my laptop with me, and there was always shit I could catch up on even from this distance. But no active tasks? No meetings?
I gulped.
Could I cope?
For a second, I wasn’t sure if I could, and then, the other side of the intercom buzzed, and a pleasant voice murmured, “Justin Gandy’s Estate.”
For a second, I was swept back into the past. When a voice tinged with that accent and the perfect amount of sugar had whispered sweet nothings into my ear…
Then, I remembered that was gone. Over. I’d ruined it, destroyed something pure and beautiful to make sure Lauren would have no regrets.
Suddenly, the prospect of being here for two weeks seemed like a nightmare.
What had I been thinking of? Reserving a place for all that time, thinking I’d be able to stay here and relax if Gandy didn’t sign on the dotted line?
I sucked down a breath.
I’d just have to make sure Gandy would sign, and then there’d be no problem.
When a throat cleared, and the voice repeated those same three words, I murmured, “Cooper Daniels. I’m here to see Mr. Gandy.”
Without a word, the gates swept inward, and I drove forward.
Chapter 2
LAUREN
The sound of his voice sent shivers down my spine.
I almost hated myself for having such a strong reaction to him, after all these damn years, but the truth was, I’d never gotten over him.
Had never managed to look past the first and only man I’d ever loved.
As dramatic as that sounded, it actually wasn’t.
Cooper had been special. So special that the idiot had dumped.
I hated him for giving me up so easily, for putting us through the torment of separation.
Six years after I’d last seen him, five years and six months after I’d last heard his voice, he was back in Maine.
More than that, he was in Willow Hearth. More importantly, he was at the Gandy Estate.
Call me Cupid but I’d orchestrated this. I wasn’t chasing him. My love hadn’t died, but that didn’t make me a fool. I just… I wanted to see him. Wanted to know the man he’d become and wanted to learn if he was as talented as I’d always known he was.
I’d come from a good family. A solid background. My father had a great steady job and had paid for half my college education. I’d been fortunate.
Cooper, on the other hand, had had to work for every thing he’d ever wanted.
College had come with four part time jobs. His career was built on the back of his nearly breaking his back to attain his goals.
I’d been so proud of him, and when I’d been checking out ad agencies and found his picture on one of the sites… I’d pushed that one to the top of the pile, knowing Justin would trust in my opinion.
I hadn’t abused my position. Not really.
Justin could always say no to Leviathan and Dronig’s proposition. And, the truth was, no matter what Cooper did, he always put his all into it. If Justin went with them and asked for Cooper like I’d recommended, he’d get his money’s worth.
Without a doubt.
I don’t even have to know the man now to realize that. One of Cooper’s strengths was his reliability.
He was one of those guys you could depend on in a crisis, and I knew that wouldn’t have changed. Driven and determined, he’d been a force to be reckoned with back then. Now? I could only imagine how success had further strengthened him.
The fact he left school with a job offer at the agency he’s still working at, having worked his way up to Ad Exec told me so much about the man.
He hadn’t changed.
Was I counting on that?
I wasn’t sure.
He’s a ghost I needed to exorcise, that I did know.
It wasn’t that no man compared to him. It’s that every guy I’d dated… well, Cooper had left a shadow of himself imprinted on me. I needed to get rid of that ghost once and for all.
My boss, Justin, had been rich from birth. He had a silver spoon in his mouth but he wasn’t a bastard with it.
If anything, he’s too kind.
It’s weird to work for one of the Gandys. They were the family everyone in the town talked about because they were old money. Seriously old too.
Like railroad baron rich.
That’s why, when I’d applied for the job with Justin, I was surprised at the fact that he was, a, nice, but b, a great boss too.
His estate consisted of one large property; and when I said large, I meant it. It was the size of some office buildings in the city. Three stories high and designed to be like an old English mansion in the Palladian style. Tall and narrow with grand windows and elegant molding.
When he inherited after his parents died, he added on a kind of greenhouse to the back of the property. Part greenhouse and part conservatory.
That’s where I worked.
It was a great place to have an office too. I overlooked an expansive garden that made a football pitch look small, and in summer, the gardeners created the best floral displays out on the lawn.
From the conservatory it was a decent walk to the front door—the one downside.
I got to my feet and straightened out my skirt. Peering into the mirror behind my desk, I messed with my hair, and made sure my make-up was right.
I looked as I’ve pretty much always done.
My hair was the same wren brown as always, and as ever, flat and impossible to do anything with. My skin was pale but creamy, and my dull hair actually contrasted with it—not in a bad way, either. I had dark brown eyes with super long lashes that were a mascara-free blessing, and my lips were painted a ruby red I’d stained them with that morning as I’d known today was the day I’d see him again.
Cooper.
The man I’d loved and lost.
A shuddery breath escaped me as I checked out my blouse, made sure I’d buttoned myself up properly, and slipped into my shoes which I’d discarded as soon as I’d taken a seat.
I headed out of my spacious office complete with garden view and out into Justin’s domain. He had a smaller study sectioned off because he did most of his work in the atrium. Not that he’d be in here today though.
He was in businessman mode, and whenever that happened—on those seldom occasions—he stuck to the study.
I strode through the hall where the random pieces of metal and electrical wiring sprawled here and there, past a Hegner saw that had made an appearance in the workspace yesterday and was still in the process of being unpacked, and made my way through the main house toward the front door.
I opened it and saw that, even with my dithering, Cooper had yet to make it down the drive.
Maybe it was cowardice that had me closing the door and pressing my back to it. My hands were clammy as they connected with the wood and I closed my eyes, scrunching them tightly.
As I stood there, a thousand thoughts flooded me. I wondered if I’d made a huge mistake. Wondered how I’d react to the first sight of him in so long. Would I be happy? Sad?
I didn’t know, and that was my major concern.
I’d like to think I was a pretty controlled person. Rarely lost my temper, was great under stress—I knew that. My control had been tested a lot as I worked with Justin—so to feel so out of sync with myself was more unsettling than I was accustomed to. But Cooper always had been able to get to me ways no other man ever had.
Maybe he was my kryptonite?
It was habit to stick my nails in my mouth and start gnawing at them, but t
he minute I did, I pulled them back like they’d been dipped in poison.
Eying the black polish, I sighed in relief that I hadn’t chipped them.
My nails were always black as a deterrent to stop me from biting the damn things. It usually worked, save for when I was nervous. Case in point now.
The sound of gravel singing under a car’s tires had me clenching my eyes shut again. I froze in place, my heart banging like a drum as I waited for him to climb the five steps to the front door and to use the Lion’s head knocker.
I pulled back as I heard his heels clicking against the flagstone steps, then waited for the booming sounds of the door pull.
Counting to twenty so as not to look too eager, I reached out, tried not to hyperventilate, tried to look cool and breezy and unsuspicious, and pulled the doorknob.
The minute it opened, my gaze connected with Cooper’s.
Everything froze.
We both looked stunned. This I knew. And I was really the one who’d orchestrated it! He was here totally unaware yet I felt just as floored. Just as aghast.
As I took in his handsome visage, his strong jaw, the dark hair and bright blue eyes, the All-American Boy looks that hadn’t faded with age, a strange sensation overcame me.
I wasn’t sad. Nor was I happy.
No.
I was angry.
Furious.
I was more furious than I’d ever been in my life.
More furious than even the day when he’d left me!
All those changes on his face, all those differences between the boy I’d loved and the man standing here today?
They were too much for me to bear.
I should have seen the gradual appearance of those frown lines on his brow. And the crinkles at his eyes? He should have earned them by smiling at me.
Cooper was elegant now. Where before he’d lived in jeans and tees, now he wore bespoke tailoring and hand tooled shoes…
I should have been there to see that graduation from kid to man.
I should have-
There were plenty of things I should have done, and he denied them all to me.
I narrowed my eyes at him as rage swelled through me.
“Lauren?” he managed to gasp out after a good two minutes of gawking at me. “Is that really you?” His hand came up to reach for me, and I knew he was going to try to cup my cheek. The minute he almost connected, I jerked back.
Needing Her Page 15