“Wait,” Argon said abruptly, looking up. “I brought this for you.”
Elara’s mouth parted open in surprise and anxiety as Argon reached into the bag, pulling out a small bouquet of flowers. She stared at the flowers, and then back at him, completely taken aback. She hadn’t expected this.
“I wasn’t sure which flowers you liked,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. Her reaction, or lack thereof, was making him more nervous. His throat suddenly grew dry. “I saw these, and they reminded me of you.” Argon gently pushed the bouquet of lilies forward.
Elara, shaking herself out of her stupor, nodded and accepted it with a blush creeping up her cheeks.
She felt silly. Argon was quite the gentleman. Bringing a gift for the host was polite. It was simply what one did whenever visiting someone else’s house. She had rarely been to a formal gathering where a gift would be given, and she hadn’t perceived their dinner such an occasion. It was a play date with Helia.
Elara quickly glanced down at herself, wondering if she should have put a little more effort into her appearance. She looked at the flowers, the lilies’ delicate scent wafting up towards her nose. They really were beautiful. Her cheeks grew warm as she remembered that he mentioned that they reminded him of her.
She suddenly realized that she was standing there, looking at the flowers, and still hadn’t uttered a single word. She mentally kicked herself, feeling like an idiot. “Thank you,” she blurted, feeling her ears growing hot. “They’re beautiful.”
Argon smiled nervously, now uncertain if he had overstepped his bounds.
“I love them,” said Elara, looking up at him. “I’ll go put these in some water.”
“Mama? What’s that smell?”
“Hmm—OH!” Elara darted towards the kitchen, the smell of something burning suddenly registering to her.
Elara breathed a sigh of relief as she peeked into the pot. The food was only slightly singed. She quickly removed the pot from the heat, saving the rest of their dinner from being burnt.
With the food scooped up onto the serving trays, she took a step back, looking over their dinner once more. Satisfied that the presentation was suitable, she sighed. She leaned on the counter, bending over and resting her head in her hands. She felt she had made a fool of herself, and her nerves were tingling with anxiety as she replayed the scene in her head. So far, she was far from a graceful host; she felt like an idiot.
Ugh.
It was, nonetheless, comforting to think that Argon had probably felt as uncertain as she did. She wondered if he had been debating about the same things she had been. Did he wonder about whether or not to bring her something? Had he spent time thinking about what to wear?
Probably not. He always looked nice.
Elara sighed again.
She had to go back out there.
She balanced the tray of food in her arms and walked slowly over to the dining table, setting them down gently. She went back into the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards until she found a vase, filled it with water, and gingerly transferred the lilies into the vase. She put them in the center of the dining table, running her finger over one of the petals.
After a moment, she went back into the sitting room, watching as Helia avidly chattered away to Argon, who was listening intently to the toddler. She smiled at the two.
“Dinner’s ready,” she announced. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“But Mama! We haven’t finished playing!” Helia objected.
“You can continue playing after dinner,” said Elara firmly, watching pointedly as she trudged towards her seat at the dining table.
“Dad, you sit here.” The toddler pointed at the seat next to her.
Argon sat down, pulling his seat closer to the table and placing a napkin across his lap. He looked at the lilies at the center of the table, and then back at Elara, a small, unconscious, lopsided smile splaying across his face.
Elara sat down as well, across from Helia and Argon. “Please, help yourself,” she urged, oblivious to his smile.
“It looks delicious,” said Argon, reaching towards one of the serving spoons. A decadent roasted herbed chicken sat on a large plate, with wedges of lemon, garlic, and tomatoes wedged beneath the poultry. Beside it sat a large bowl of crushed, buttery roasted potatoes, and another bowl of freshly chopped cucumber and mint salad.
“It’s chicken,” said Helia, beaming. “You like chicken, Dad?”
“My favorite,” remarked Argon, heaping a large serving from each tray onto his plate.
“I’m glad,” Elara smiled, plating the food for Helia before filling her own plate.
A few silent moments passed, and Argon felt obliged to say something. But he wasn’t sure what to say. Finally, he uttered, “So, what did you do today?”
Elara looked at him curiously, chewing a bite of potatoes.
“I was all over the place today,” she admitted, swallowing the lump of potatoes quickly, trying not to choke as it almost slid into her windpipe instead. She reached for her glass of water. “I met up with Noiro to drop off some books I managed to get from the Grand Library. We’re trying to get some more information on the Diadem.
“After that, we went into the market to get some groceries, and stopped by a few stores to get some measurements for Helia. We’re working on building her a wardrobe.”
“The lady measured my belly,” Helia giggled. “But she didn’t want to measure my bellybutton.”
“Helia was quite disappointed about her bellybutton not being measured,” Elara chuckled. “So we measured it when we got home.”
“We get to pick dresses tomorrow!” said Helia excitedly, waving her fork around. A small piece of chicken went flying from her utensil, and the two adults watched the morsel sail through the air and land gracefully into Elara’s cup of water with a small plop.
Elara burst out into laughter, and Argon chuckled along with her. He couldn’t help but notice how her nose crinkled up as she laughed, and her cheeks were rosy in the pale light. Her hair fell to the side as she giggled, and she unconsciously brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.
She was cute.
“I’ll get a new glass,” Elara chuckled, getting up from the table. She came back with a new glass and a big pitcher of iced water, pouring some into Argon’s glass.
“Thank you,” said Argon, lifting his glass.
“So what about you?” asked Elara. “How was your day today?”
“It was fine,” said Argon. “I moved my dinner with Inana to breakfast today. It was… Well, we should probably discuss it at another time. But it was good to catch up with her; I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Are you two close?”
“Kind of. We’ve known each other forever. Now that we’re older and a lot more busy, we don’t usually have the time to see each other as often as we used to when we were kids. But it’s also the kind of friendship where when you finally do meet each other, it’s like no time has passed at all.”
“I know what you mean,” said Elara. “Miela and I were joined at the hip when we were kids. Nowadays, with balancing work and other activities, it’s difficult to meet up as often.”
“Really?” Argon asked, surprised. “I was under the impression that you two still regularly saw each other.”
“We do. But we’re also meeting up more, now that we’re working on the case,” Elara said, carefully slicing into her chicken.
“I guess that’s the silver lining to this case,” Argon mused.
“I guess so.” She chuckled. Elara hesitated, then asked, “So… does your family know you’re here?”
Argon shook his head. “I told my mother I was going out to dinner. She lives with me here, in Polaris. She couldn’t stand to stay in Ursa Isles since my father passed… And my sister, well, as you saw, she’s still out in Ursa Isles. We don’t really keep in touch that much.”
“I see.”
They fell into silence again, and Elara took an
other long sip of water from her glass to hide her discomfort in the long moment of silence.
“Are you going to tell your family about Helia?” she finally asked.
Argon looked taken aback by her blunt question. The dinner conversation seemed to take a turn from friendly, polite exchange to a direct, double edged inquiry. He would not let that affect his answer, though.
“No,” he answered honestly. “At least, not right now. I don’t know how I’d explain it, and especially since we agreed to keep this a confidential case, I don’t really see how I could disclose any information around Helia. And I…I want to keep her safe.”
Elara nodded, taking another sip of water. Argon looked at her. She seemed satisfied with his answer.
“What about you?” asked Argon. “Are you going to tell your family?”
“Well…my family already knows about her.”
Argon raised his eyebrow in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah,” said Elara. “Noiro is my family. At least, that’s the only family I’ve ever known.”
“Oh.” Argon nodded, feeling like he had stepped into a sensitive topic.
“I don’t know who my parents are,” Elara confessed. “Noiro told me he had found me at his doorstep when I was a baby. He was kind enough to take me in, and I guess the rest is history.”
Argon smiled sadly.
Elara noticed his empty plate, and gestured at the trays of food in front of them. “Please, don’t be shy,” she said. “I’ve made tons of food.”
Argon grinned, placing a hand on his belly. “I’m stuffed, thanks.”
“Finished, Mama!” Helia announced, eager to join in on their conversation. So far, the adults only seemed to talk about boring, grown up stuff. She stood up on her chair and lifted her plate up proudly for her mother to see. “Can we play now?”
Elara looked at Argon, noting the keenness in his eyes. “Yes, you can play with Dad for some time. You two go, I’ll get dessert ready,” she stated with a smile.
Argon nodded, standing up and following Helia into the sitting room.
Elara cleared up dinner, giving some time for the two to play together, and set out some new plates for dessert. She filled their glasses with some fresh mint lemonade and went out to the sitting room to find Helia and Argon splayed out on the floor, deep into a session of playing pretend. She handed a glass to Argon, who accepted it distractedly as he was deep in the throes of embodying an evil dragon. Elara sat back in her chair, watching the two amusedly.
“The dragon is coming after the beautiful princess!” Argon said in a gruff, dragon-like voice. Helia pretended to gather up the skirt of a heavy ball gown and run away.
After some time of playing pretend, Helia decided she wanted to play with her doll, leaving the two adults to sit together as the toddler examined her doll’s dress. The two chatted together, and Elara found herself rather enjoying the conversation that seemed to flow naturally between them. Argon found himself constantly chuckling at things she said, and his cheeks soon began to hurt from laughing and smiling. He hadn’t felt this comfortable in someone else’s presence in a long time, and felt himself relaxing more into his seat.
Helia’s loud yawn suddenly caught their attention, and the two looked down at the toddler. Elara glanced at the clock and gasped. “Is that really the time?” She looked down at Helia, who was blearily rubbing her eyes. “Goodness, no wonder Helia’s wiped out!”
Argon looked at the clock as well, surprised that it had become so late. He hadn’t felt the time pass, and felt a slight pit in his stomach as he realized that the evening was soon coming to an end.
“I’ll put Helia to bed,” said Elara, scooping up the sleepy toddler.
“But I’m not tired,” Helia insisted, yawning once again.
“Yes you are,” Elara retorted. “You’ve had a long day, and you need your rest.”
“I want Dad,” Helia murmured, leaning over to her father. “Will you read a story?”
“What?” Argon’s eyebrows shot up, taken aback. He looked panicked. He had no trouble playing pretend, but telling bedtime stories was new territory for him.
“Please, Dad,” Helia pleaded, her sleepy eyes staring adoringly into his. “The princess story.”
“I…I don’t think I remember that one,” Argon stuttered nervously. Princess stories? He hadn’t an inkling of what princess story she was talking about.
“I’m not sure if Dad can tell a story tonight,” Elara said gently, coming to Argon’s aid.
“No, I can,” Argon said defiantly, looking at Elara. He felt like she was evaluating him, and he wanted to prove himself. He wasn’t sure if Elara perceived the task as a test, but he certainly did not want to let either of the girls down. “I can tell you a story about a goblin. How’s that?”
“I want the princess story,” Helia maintained, her voice turning to a whiny tone. “The one you always tell.”
Argon looked lost. He had no clue what she was talking about. It was obviously some story he had told her in the future, but he hadn’t an inkling on what the story was.
“We’ll have none of that, now,” Elara asserted firmly. “You can choose between the goblin story, or no story.”
“Okay,” Helia surrendered sleepily. “Goblin.” She leaned towards Argon, and he picked her up in his arms. He was pleasantly surprised at how easily she fit into his arms, and snuggled closer to the child.
They went over to the couch, Elara watching Argon gently place Helia down. She noticed how unnerved he was, and couldn’t understand his sudden determination. Did he feel he had something to prove?
She noticed Argon stiffly try to come up with a story about a goblin, his eyes constantly darting self-consciously at her. Elara smiled, understanding his bashfulness at his storytelling. She excused herself from the room to allow the man to finish his bedtime story privately.
After a while, Elara returned to find her daughter leaning against her father. Her eyelids fluttered closed, and she snored softly into his chest.
“I’ll put her to bed,” she said, smiling fondly at the slumbering child. She picked up the little girl, walking over to her bedroom.
“I should…uh…” Argon began, standing up from the couch. He paused. “Should I go?”
“Um. I’d like to talk to you for a moment. Is that all right?” Elara asked.
Argon nodded, sitting back down.
Elara disappeared down the hall with the toddler, and he could hear the child softly mumbling. Argon’s sweaty hands shook, and he smoothed his trousers as he waited.
Was this it? Was he being evaluated? Was she grading him on how he was as a parent? Argon frowned at the thought. Anxiety tugged at his heart, and he shook his head. Why was he suddenly vying for her approval? He wanted to see Helia, and be a part of her life, but he shouldn’t need to prove himself in order to be there.
Maybe… Maybe he wanted her approval for more than just to see Helia?
Argon shook his head again.
This was about Helia. This was solely about Helia.
He couldn’t ignore his pounding heart as Elara emerged from the hallway. She mirrored his nervousness, and her hands trembled slightly as she sat down across from the man.
“It’s too bad we didn’t get to dessert,” Elara said, a hint of a smile flashing across her lips. “Helia was looking forward to that all day.”
“It’s all right,” said Argon, smiling back.
“Can I get you a slice of cake? It’s strawberry and custard.”
“Sure.” His stomach churned, and he didn’t really feel like having dessert. But he also didn’t want the evening to end.
Elara inhaled deeply, trying to calm her anxiety as she retrieved two small plates of cake, handing him one of the plates before taking a seat near him.
Argon politely took a bite and set his fork down, waiting. “So…”
“I don’t know what to say, really,” Elara said honestly, her eyes trained at the floor. She knew that
they needed to talk, but she wasn’t sure what to tell him, exactly. She turned to look at him. “I just need to know…”
“Go on,” he urged softly.
“What is she to you? I mean, I know that she’s your daughter. Biologically. But what does that mean to you?”
Argon looked her in the eye. He could see the apprehension and concern, and he could feel it reflected in himself too. It felt strange to look at her like that. He wasn’t sure if he had ever really looked at her like that. “She’s my daughter,” he replied simply.
“I know,” said Elara. “But what does that mean? Do you want to be involved in her life? Do you want to support her? Do you want to be a bystander?”
“I want to be a part of her life,” Argon said earnestly. His voice was strong and sure. “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. What is she to you?”
Elara considered the question, looking down at her lap. A soft smile broke across her face, and she answered, “She is mine. She’s my daughter.” She turned to look at Argon, realizing what a difficult question it was. “She was sent to me, by me… the future me… and trusted that I could take care of her. She is a part of me. She’s…she’s mine.”
“Do you love her?” Argon asked suddenly. His question surprised even him.
Elara answered quicker than she realized she could. “Yes.”
She had only had Helia in her life for such a short time, and the toddler had thrown so much of her life out of balance. But she could not deny it to herself. She loved her. She loved her so much that her heart ached.
“That’s why this is important to me,” she confessed. “That’s why I need to know what this means to you. I understand why I am a part of her life. Why I want to be a part of her life. But why do you?”
Argon looked away, his mind drifting into his thoughts as he searched for the words to reflect what he felt. She was honest with him. Raw. Vulnerable. And it was terrifying to reveal the same to her. But he had to.
He needed to.
“I’m not going to lie. I was unsettled when I first saw her. I was dragged away into an office, was held there with no explanation, and was told that I had a daughter. I was, well, stunned. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t want to see her, either,” he admitted, a sliver of shame lacing his words. “It scared me. And it was unnerving to see how she was so thrilled to see me. How she stared at me. How excited she was. After watching the time shadows, though… Watching what she went through… What we went through… I can’t bear the thought of Helia wondering why I’m not around, or what happened to me. I can’t stand letting her down. She’s mine…”
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