Fuck me.
They actually liked the artist’s cottage, though. Oh, of course.
“Well, that was shit,” Graham said, as soon as Harris left with them all, grimacing at me as he told me he’d call me back with an update.
“Yeah…”
“I can’t believe they just complained about all this hard work.”
“It’s actually pretty typical,” Jasper said. “Potential buyers always complain. It’s when you get one with a glow in their eyes that you know you’ve found the right owner.”
“It’s true,” I said. “Even the guy who bought the last house had that glow in his eyes, even if his wife didn’t.”
“They might buy it anyway, but they won’t be happy here,” Jake said. “I hate to say it, but I think you should get a Realtor on it.”
“Nooo!” Billie and I both slumped across the table at once. “That will take more time,” I said.
“And we won’t get as good of a price!” Billie said.
“How can we buy the next house if we can’t get gold for this one?” I asked.
It was just as we feared. Harris called me and said the faeries didn’t want the house at this time. Despite the strategic importance for the realm of Wyrd to secure pieces of the human world, the faeries had been isolated from humans for so many centuries that they were just plain refusing to act upon the strategy.
“Queen Morgana said that she does have some low fae who are interested, but she is working out the finances. The house would have to be purchased by the kingdom’s treasury and owned by the crown, but occupied by the low fae, and that is causing its own set of problems. She said that if you had a human bride, that would help immensely.”
“I don’t have a ‘human bride’, Harris, you know I have no friends! I certainly don’t just keep brides on a shelf! Billie, you said you had a friend, didn’t you?”
“I’m not going to approach any of my friends with this situation anymore,” Billie said sourly. “First thing Kate’s going to want to know is how I got turned into a vampire during a house flip.”
So that was that. We had one of those houses—a beautiful home that was just too personal to sell to anyone, both for its size and the fact that not just anyone could live in a magical parallel. Dead weight. We couldn’t move on.
Not very long after I got off the phone with Harris, while I was still sitting in the phone nook brooding over the situation, it rang again, and the person on the other end of the line was asking for Graham.
“Graham? Phone for you…”
“How odd,” he said warily, taking the old telephone out of my hand. “Hello? Speaking, yes. Yes… Really? No heirs? Yes…I am very surprised.”
Byron came up behind me, looking pleased, as Graham hung up the phone. “I told you to trust me,” Byron said.
“That was the executor of Sam’s will,” Graham said. “Sam didn’t have any kids, so…he left Bel Tramonto to me.”
“Byron, did you kill the old man and make him change his will!?”
Byron held up his hands. “No! This was done years before! When Sam was more with it, he definitely had wished for Pandora’s Box to be opened, and he was sorry he killed me. You’ll see. You’ll find what you’re looking for.”
Will I find…you?
That scared me a little. Byron’s body must be there. He was obviously leading us to this spot.
“That makes it easy!” Billie clapped her hands when we told them all the news.
“So we get to go to California but we don’t even have to fight it out with Caleb and Kiersten,” Jake said. “This is a dream job.”
“I wonder if the house will even need much work,” Jasper said. “Being in California, it must be newer. It will definitely have a kitchen, even if stuff needs updating. And it sounds like this guy had new money, not old depleted money…”
“That is true. But you might…want to tweak a few things,” Byron said. “Although you don’t have to sell it at all. It’s Graham’s house.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Graham said, and we busted open more wine and some takeout menus to celebrate.
“So…are you gunning for revenge on those witches too, Gaston, or would you rather stay here?” Billie asked, and I saw that she was nervous, but it had to be asked. Those two had a little thing going, but it was too short-term to be this serious. On the other hand, as a new vampire, she really ought to be sticking with him until she got past the difficult phase, so I wasn’t sure we should take her along if he didn’t go.
“I guess I’d better,” he said. “And I haven’t forgotten what I said at first. I’m still not sure about Byron, demigod or not. I’ll go to keep an eye on you.”
That’s an excuse to pretend he doesn’t care if I ever heard one, I thought, smiling. Once we worked out our theory of Byron from the Arcana, Gaston hadn’t said another word about him. He likes Billie, and I like…
All four of my men were gathered around, and we’d been living on top of each other, but as usual, the relationship had taken a back seat to other stuff. It was easy to juggle this new arrangement when we didn’t really have to confront what it meant. If we survived Pandora’s Box, it would be time for me to figure out what my future really was. Jake and Jasper already had a future in mind…work together, meet the family, have a kid or two I guess. Graham and Byron were the opposite…one of them dead to his old world, and the other just plain dead.
I needed to bring them together down one path, or I would have to make a choice.
At least everything else was coming together. At least, so I thought that night, as we shared takeout Italian and a little too much to drink, eating at the kitchen island, bringing some life to the cheerful yellow kitchen before we locked the doors on Greenwood Manor.
Thank you for reading! I always write a little note as I am uploading a new book, but in this case, as I was finishing the book my mom called and asked if I wanted to go with her to the discount grocery store across town! Get up at 7 am she said! Mom, I’m on a deadline! But I do need a bunch of random chocolate and mildly expired organic soup, so I guess I’ll keep this note short.
Thank you for your support for this series! I’m having so much fun with Helena and her friends. A number of you have told me how much you enjoy a heroine who does stuff and works hard…I’ve enjoyed that too and I wish I was as competent as Hel… Book three, Phantom of the Library, will be out in July. Please join my Facebook group and come hang out! I have a number of series set in this same world and I’m going to leave with you a preview of one of my personal favorites, Fae Sworn, which gives you a peek into the faery court through the eyes of my most outrageous heroine, Daisy Pendleton.
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“Fae Sworn” Preview
Daisy
My life has taken a pretty weird turn, I thought, as I stepped into the faery realm with my new husband-to-be at my side.
Orson was a sexy, muscular gruagach from the House of Clover. Gruagach were the faeries that tended the cows, and I had gathered that other faeries looked down on them, but this was okay with me considering I didn’t like the other faeries.
The first thing everyone should know about faeries is that most of them are assholes.
I mean, you’ve heard the stories, right?
They steal babies? They play tricks? They offer you food and next thing you know, a hundred years go by?
It had been centuries since humans had been allowed into this realm, but we’d made this bargain, and I was the crazy witch who had decided to be the spokesperson for humankind. I had agreed to marry a man I didn’t really know at all, and leave behind everything I knew, but then…to say I had some issues with my grandmother and the witch community was an understatement.
Sometimes you just have to jump on a new opportunity when it comes up.
Now I was standing before Queen Morgana of the faeries, trying to look like I wasn’t going to take any shit from her. I was good at that expression. This might be one reason I didn’t have a lot of
friends back in the Chicago witch community. My family was wealthy, and I had magic everyone wanted to make use of, and my parents had been murdered when I was a kid. If this sounds like the combination that leads to not trusting other people, and maybe even super-villainry, well, yeah, it does. But I’m a pretty awesome person anyway all things considered. I like having friends as long as they don’t try to fucking use me.
Most people I’ve ever met only want to use me.
“Daisy Pendleton.” A handsome blonde fairy male was standing in front of the queen’s throne, consulting the paper on which I had signed my name and intention to be a part of the faery realm. “That is your name, correct?”
“Yes, I am the one and only Daisy Pendleton.” Gotta lay down the ground rules. “As you can see, I brought myself and twelve more witches to be faery brides, as per the agreement. You have their names there. We expect to be treated well here, and we’ll reward you in return with more power in the magical world.”
I had been escorted to an outdoor throne, within a hall formed of cypress trees. The throne ‘room’ was like a little island, surrounded by pools of water with lily pads and lush aquatic flowers blooming under mangrove and other strange trees. All up and down the line of trees, faery guards with crests on their golden armor and attendants in flowing fabrics were watching the scene.
The faery queen was seated in a throne behind the blonde faery. She wore a long, diaphanous gown over a way-too-thin body, and a veil over her face, so I had no idea what she was thinking. She whispered something to the man.
“Queen Morgana welcomes you to the realm and looks forward to a long and fruitful alliance,” he said.
“Splendid,” I said, sweetly, but not nicely, if you know what I mean. Like, bitch, show me your face if you want some respect.
Look, I had been warned to never trust the faeries. Even as a kid, every witch and warlock was probably told the same stories. They never lied, but they loved to trick you. They were an alien species without much emotion. They lived for centuries and they didn’t respect us very much. Faeries mothers probably told bedtime stories to their kids about how stupid humans were. We were all gathered here for only one reason: we needed each other.
“You and your twelve fellow witches are invited to the capital city,” the faery man continued. His voice had a musical accent that I could have listened to forever. “In La Serenissima, we will give you our best hospitality and throw a grand celebration to celebrate your arrival.”
“That is very kind of you,” I said, warming up just a bit.
I was going to get to party in magical Venice. Sweet.
For centuries, all magical beings had been getting pushed out to the fringes of society. Magical beings needed humans to believe in them. That was where their power came from. Being human, witches and warlocks like me had a slight advantage. Unlike faeries, demons, shapeshifters and the like, we could use our magic in the Fixed Plane (otherwise known as “the real world”). We belonged to the human world. We were just leftovers from a time when every village had a witch or healer or shaman. But there were certain spots in the world where magic was especially strong, where humans still believed magic was real, and in these places, parallel cities existed. These were towns that existed between realms, where witches and warlocks could gather and mingle with truly magical beings.
The parallel of Venice was considered one of the great ‘lost’ cities where humans couldn’t go, because the faeries controlled it and didn’t allow humans in. Now I was going to get to party there. No doubt, that was gonna be tight. Venice without any tourists? Venice run by the faeries? I wondered what the wardrobe situation would be.
“In La Serenissima, the lords of the great faery houses will assess all of you to choose their brides,” the blonde man continued, and I cooled right the fuck back down again. His tone made me wary.
“Oh yes, the other twelve girls do still need their husbands,” I said.
“Lady Pendleton,” he said, so grandly that I almost liked him again. “You will also be under consideration.”
“We already have an agreement that I will marry Lord Orson,” I said. “And I know you keep your promises.”
The faery queen whispered a few sentences to him.
“Yes. We keep our promises. You will wed Lord Orson, but he is a gruagach. A low faery.”
Orson, by the way, was standing in the background this whole time. He seemed to take this treatment with a shrug, like he didn’t really care what the high faeries thought or planned.
“A lord of his kind, but not one of the great houses. A lady as beautiful and talented as yourself cannot be shipped off to some remote faery holding, nor would you enjoy it there, I assure you. You will be married into one of the great houses as well as to Lord Orson. You chose him, but the high lords will choose you.”
Ohhh damn.
I should have seen this coming. I should have known they wouldn’t let me just scurry off with a big handsome faery who seemed pretty normal, and mind my own business.
“Okay. Okay. I get it. Good old faery tricks. You didn’t lie, you just withheld some extremely important information that you intend to let some faery lord pick me out of a lineup and offer me two husbands, and I don’t get any say in it.”
“Queen Morgana is sure you will not find any of these men wanting,” the blonde guy said. “They are all as beautiful as the stars, wealthy enough to give you anything you desire, and strong in battle, magic, or a respected profession.”
“So they’re not pampered snots? Thanks for that, at least, although I will be the judge. And what about Orson?”
“Lord Orson is already accustomed to serving the higher born. He understands the hierarchy of our court, and you soon shall as well.”
“No. This is not what I agreed to. I don’t want a higher born husband. I just want him.” I pointed at Orson, who really could have backed me up. My heart sunk as he just accepted this ridiculous situation.
The golden faery ignored me. “In La Serenissima, we are pleased to have assembled these lords together to teach you and the other brides how to comport yourself like high fae. You will all stay together in the great palace, and have instruction in our music, dances, manners, and ways of pleasure, along with everything else you need to know. We will depart for La Serenissima on the morrow.”
‘On the morrow’. Lord.
“I don’t need to be taught how to be anyone’s bride!” I said.
Still ignoring me, “The faery queen wishes for you and the other girls to dine here at her winter palace tonight.”
I didn’t even know where I was in the faery realm, because I had just strolled in through a portal and ended up here. This was happening so quickly. So we were at the winter palace. Okay. That sounded pretty fancy.
Two can play this game, I thought. I already know how to behave myself, but I also know how to raise hell. If you’re going to fudge all the rules and then ignore me, I’m just not going to act like a good faery bride. I’m going to be a total diva until none of your faery ‘high lords’ can stand me.
“What about magic lessons?” I asked.
“Magic lessons,” he repeated.
“Yes. We’re witches. Magic is our thing, and we joined your realm to gain access to the magic of your realm, so we need to learn how you use it. We need instruction in magic and it behooves you to give it to us so we can fight other witches and warlocks effectively. It’s a waste of our talents to focus only on music and manners.”
He conferred briefly with the queen and she nodded.
“My witches need proper dinner attire,” I continued. “I don’t think you want us dining with the queen in our current state.”
He sniffed slightly. “You won’t be dining with the queen—“
The queen interrupted in her soft voice, speaking her own language. He flushed. “Yes, Your Majesty. She says you and the other humans can follow Lady Melis to the dressmakers.” He gestured to one of the attendants.
“Thank
you,” I said, my voice sharp.
I couldn’t read the queen at all, because she never spoke English, even though she clearly understood it, and when she spoke it was always in the same soft, weak, measured tone. Clearly, she wore a veil by design and it drove me nuts. How was I supposed to judge her when I couldn’t read her expressions or even her voice?
Orson started walking out at my side. He gave me a little wink of a smile, like he thought this was funny, or maybe he was just wincing from pain.
“Lord Orson,” Lady Melis said. “You’re badly injured from your battle with the humans. Please, the queen would like to welcome you to the healing baths.”
“Yes, just give me a moment with my betrothed,” he said. He put a hand on my shoulder and urged me aside a few steps. “It isn’t like home, lass. You can’t be bossing around the faery queen or you’ll make an enemy of everyone in her court.”
“Actually, that’s just like home. I have a lot of enemies.” ‘Enemies’ was exaggerating, but it had a better ring than ‘people who don’t like me that much’.
“Well, maybe that tells you something.” He looked me over and then swayed a little on his feet. I immediately put my hands against his rock-solid chest; even in his weakened state he almost knocked me over, but he caught himself.
“Lord Orson!” Lady Melis said.
“I’m fine!” He motioned for her to stay back. “I assure you, I’m made of tougher stuff than that. Although, it is a good thing you rescued me when you did. So please—just try and behave yourself, eh?”
His injuries were the reason I was in this position. Our ‘romantic’ back story in a nutshell is that we met at the Haven, the place where deviant wizards were held so they didn’t corrupt magical society. It was basically a prison. I was trying to run away from home when they caught me, and I stumbled upon Orson being held captive in one of the upstairs rooms, with bands of iron around his limbs, slowly poisoning him.
Wolves at the Door Page 19