by S. D. Grimm
Oh. Right. He grimaced. “That part of the wood isn’t safe.” Ryan looked up at the towering trees as the golden glow of sunset descended beneath the top of the world. The trunks were a sickly gray color, and the scent was more of a dragon’s lair, leftover smoke and coals, but it looked as if no fire had touched the place in a long time. What made a shiver run down his spine was that this place lured him. He felt the pull beckoning the tainted part of his heart.
No way he’d head that direction. Not if he had any hope of keeping the barrier in his heart intact. “I’m not going that way.”
“I’m sorry.”
That was a surprise. “For what?”
“I should have been more sensitive to the fact that you wouldn’t want to approach the darker, more tainted areas.” Serena’s eyes scanned him. “What do you feel?”
“What do you mean?” he whispered while staring at the spot of the wood he was sure would birth something evil.
“Do you feel something threatening?”
“Yes.”
“Your instincts are good.” She adjusted the straps on her pack and replaced one dagger. “Hold my hand.”
He stared at her offered hand.
“I think I can make both of us invisible, but only if you’re touching me. I haven’t mastered covering two people yet. She disappeared. Ryan felt her hand close around his wrist. “You’ll have to be quiet.”
He could see her now, but she was fuzzy.
Something that swallowed light emerged from the deep part of the forest. It sniffed the air. Ryan’s blood became ice. A black lion. Fear chained his mouth shut and glued his boots to the ground.
Eyes like a scarlet moon locked onto him. “I sense you.” The voice growled.
Something sparked in Ryan’s blood, and the fire wanted to spring forth from his hands. But he kept it contained.
“Oh, pet?” A voice shattered Ryan’s world and nearly brought him to his knees. “Mist can smell you. I know you’re here.” Belladonna stepped out from the trees and locked eyes with him.
“Ryan, please, you’re burning me.” Serena’s whisper trembled.
He couldn’t control it.
Belladonna grinned. “Be a good pet and obey me.”
He started to let go of Serena’s hand. “I–I have to go.”
She grabbed his wrist. “No, stay with me. What are you seeing?”
“C-can she see us?”
Serena stood in front of him, desperate to keep him grounded, but Belladonna’s gaze entrapped him.
“Ryan.” Serena’s voice broke into his thoughts but didn’t shatter them. They still held him captive. “It’s an abysshound. It’s showing you your worst fear. The fear isn’t real.”
Belladonna looked real.
“She can feel me.” He trembled. He wanted to sink to his knees and beg Belladonna for forgiveness.
“I know you’re hiding here.” Belladonna pulled out the whip at her waist, and Ryan’s knees turned to water. He was stuck. He couldn’t breathe. She’d come back to whip him. She was going to break him for good. His heart beat faster. The venom within pulsed in every beat, breaking those fragile bindings that held it into place. He could stand it no longer. He tried to squeeze from Serena’s grip. He could surrender himself and save her at least, and maybe Belladonna would be less harsh on him.
“Hear me,” Serena whispered. “Close your eyes.” Her voice was a soothing dream, and it snapped his attention from Belladonna. Courage started to return.
“Come with me.” She pushed him backward. And then what he thought was Belladonna chasing him changed.
It was a massive hound made of lava with a gaping maw, viper-like fangs, and hot coals for eyes. Most of him wanted to run in fear, but a small part of him was intensely curious.
Its fiery hair stood out wildly all along its body, and its four large paws padded closer without a sound. It sniffed the air, weaving its head back and forth, trying to locate them, and then it stopped. Its red eyes locked onto them.
“It smells us.” Serena quivered.
The growl it issued was unlike anything Ryan had ever heard. The shriek actually hurt his bones.
“Don’t look into its eyes.” Serena tugged his arm. “If it sees you, it will show you your death and claim you. It’s not an abysshound. It’s Gnarg.”
The creature jumped, fluid like smoke, and landed in front of them. Ryan slashed with his sword and nearly sliced its leg, the creature looked right into his eyes, and he froze.
“Run!” Serena pulled and ripped his gaze from the beast’s. He followed her, but the creature took two bounds and caught up to them.
Heat ignited in Ryan’s palms.
“Dragon’s breath will not help you here, young scaly one. But how you are keeping hidden is a secret I wish you’d share.” The voice that came from Gnarg was unnatural, a scraping in the wind, as if the clouds were made of ice that ripped into one another. “I sense you.”
Its laugh was even worse. It sounded as if it were choking on blood.
Ryan tried to calm the fire in his hands.
“Ryan, please. You’re burning me.”
He couldn’t stop it! He started to remove his hand from hers, and she held tighter.
“I have to be touching you.”
Gnarg stepped forward, and Ryan raised his hand and released a stream of fire from his palm. Gnarg screamed and shrank back, shaking its smoldering head. Only when it backed away did he still his fire.
“Good hit.” Serena tugged his arm. “Now run.”
No need to tell him again. Ryan ran, towing Serena along. Gnarg feebly jumped after them like a wolf losing interest in the hunt.
They ran until it no longer chased them.
Until they no longer saw it.
Until its stench didn’t ride on the wind.
The forest smelled different, and Ryan knew immediately what he had smelled under the smoke at the other place. Death.
Serena fell to the ground.
“Serena?” He crouched beside her.
“Sorry, I’m tired.”
“You’re not back to normal, are you?”
She looked at her hand. “I am. The burns healed. Making us invisible just drains me. And my powers don’t feel as strong as they used to.”
Burns? Burns. Breath squeezed painfully from his lungs. “I hurt you?” He reached for her and she pulled back.
“It’s okay. You didn’t know.” She offered a sad smile.
“Okay? How was that okay?”
She blinked as if surprised. “It wasn’t—that creature really got to you. What did you see?”
“Belladonna.” Her name came out as a whisper. Here he was, supposed to protect Serena, and he’d been ready to give himself over to Belladonna—the woman who scared him like no other.
Serena’s hand glided over his back. His numb, scarred back. He elbowed her away even though he didn’t want to. What kind of man was he? A weak one. He couldn’t face Belladonna because she’d hurt him.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was so small.
She sat with her elbows on her knees and her hands drawn into her, cupped together under her chin.
He pointed to himself. “No, I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. Why did he push her away?
“Belladonna is your biggest fear.” Serena’s quiet words slayed his soul. “She deserves death for what she did to you.”
He could do nothing more than stare for fear that his voice would betray the depth of his brokenness.
“I can help you if you let me,” she said. “But I am afraid to offer you anything. Each time I do, you pull away from me.”
There it was. “I don’t want to pull away from you, Serena.”
“Then what do you want?”
He wanted to not be afraid to let her touch him. He wanted to understand what Belladonna had done to him that made him act this way. He wanted to see her—them—free of all that had happened in the past. But when she touched his back, he felt nothing. That numb
ness reminded him of the scars. Of his desire for Belladonna’s healing. Of all the ways he’d failed. How he always needed to be rescued and never managed to save anyone. And Serena’s face was associated with his worst torture—because he’d thought of her to try and free himself from the pain. All of that complicated everything.
He clenched his fists and realized they were hot.
She stared at his hands. “You need to learn to control your anger. It activates your talent somehow.”
“You can tell I’m angry?” He looked up at her. “Because you can see my heart?” His tainted, dark heart.
She sort of chuckled and covered her mouth. “Sorry. I could see your heart before, but you keep it locked up now. I can tell you’re angry because it’s obvious.”
Idiot. He almost laughed. Then he focused on something else she’d said. Locked up? What did that mean?
“It has to do with not trusting her.” Blaze’s voice was a comfort that Ryan needed right then. Hope rising, he stood as Blaze descended into the woods and landed near them.
“You are all right?” Ryan raced up to his friend. “What happened?”
Blaze actually laughed. “A unicorn healed me. Can you believe it?”
“Yes.” He looked at Serena. “One healed me, too.”
Serena walked up to Blaze and placed her hand on his scaled neck. “Dash said you were injured with arrows meant to piece dragon hide?”
“Yes.” His voice was serious.
“You can hear him?” Ryan asked.
“Due to my sister-kin bond with Kara.” She frowned.
“Something wrong?”
She looked at him as if deciding whether or not to answer. “I can’t understand why she left. She ripped a page from the counters book and left.”
“Which page?”
“The one for the white alor potion.”
His stomach squeezed. “We need that.”
“Well, I did write it out. It helps me memorize things.”
“That’s fortunate.” He leaned back against Blaze as the dragon lay down behind him. “I’m sure Kara has her reasons. I just hope they’re to our benefit.” They probably weren’t.
“You don’t trust her?”
Ryan shook his head. “I only trust people who have earned it.”
Serena narrowed her eyes.
“How far away is Dash?” He desperately needed to change the subject.
“He will follow us toward the Forest of Legends if Blaze will take us.” She glanced shyly at the dragon.
Ryan smirked at her uneasiness. “I thought you were afraid of heights.”
Her eyes widened. He chuckled softly and held out his hand to help her climb onto the dragon, bowing for added flourish. “Milady.”
That got her to laugh. But she stared at his outstretched hand for a beat too long. He couldn’t blame her. What a fool. He’d just burned her, and now he was asking her to touch him. He’d become the monster they all feared. And the only person who healed him inside was afraid to be near him. Her patience. Her grace. Her compassion leaked into his soul. Even when she didn’t touch him, she reached into his broken places and healed him.
With a pang in his heart, he started to retract his hand, but she grabbed it right before he could.
Her smile was radiant. “You have a strange sense of humor, Knight.”
He couldn’t contain his shocked laugh. “I’m no knight.”
She paused, hand in his, and drew closer to him. “You are to me.”
And as he stood there speechless, she climbed onto Blaze.
“You coming?” She scooted back to make room, and he mounted the dragon in front of her, still trying to hold tight to her words. She wrapped her arms around his middle, sending a shiver through him. She was comforting in a way that broke him and mended him all at once. He closed his eyes and just felt her. This was real. Not a dream he’d created to escape the pain. And she didn’t deserve to be treated like someone he feared.
But he did.
He feared not being able to open himself to her fully. He feared making himself vulnerable. Then he’d lose control. And he could never lose control again. He had today with the barghest. When he’d thought she was Belladonna. “I’m sorry,” he said over his shoulder.
“For what?”
“You’re afraid of me. Aren’t you?”
“I think you’re the one who’s afraid of me.”
Of course she’d see right through him. “You must think me weak.”
She paused for so long, he stopped expecting an answer. At last, she spoke into his ear. “Ryan, you are the strongest person I know. I know of no one else who could fight that much darkness daily and win.”
“I would rather die than be a tool of the Mistress or a slave to Belladonna.”
She hugged him and rested her head on his back. “I would rather die than let either of those things happen to you.”
The truth of her words filled him with hope. He gripped her hand in his and held it against his heart. He’d face his biggest fears for Serena. And he’d do it to keep her safe. To keep her from being tainted by evil. If that meant facing Belladonna, he would. And he’d find a way to kill her for good this time. “Can Healers die?”
She paused again. “Yes.”
“Then I could kill her?” His chest ached after he uttered that thought, and his palms heated.
“I think we can. Together.”
Good. Because she’d probably be at the Forest of Legends waiting for him.
Chapter 56
Past Sins
Serena held tight to Ryan as they flew toward the Forest of Legends. Cool air kissed her face and chilled her arms. Clouds dissipated around them. She wanted to reach out and touch them. Slowly, she separated her hands, trying to call on her courage. Ryan clutched her arm to him.
“What’s wrong?” She held him tightly again.
“Nothing. Your grip loosened. I thought you fell asleep.”
She smiled against his back, and he chuckled. It sounded deep and full in her ear. And she loved it. “I just wanted to touch a cloud.”
“Why didn’t you say so?”
Blaze soared higher. White enveloped them. She lifted her head and slowly reached out with one hand. Her fingers chilled. The clouds were cold and wet and beautiful.
“You like it?”
She swirled the white with her fingers, but the dampness settled into her skin. “It’s fascinating.”
He looked over his shoulder and caught her gaze. That small smile curved his lips.
She let go of his waist and placed her hands against his hips. “You won’t let me fall?”
“Never again.”
She breathed deep, held it. Her hands let go, and she raised them into the air. Exhaled. Ryan’s arms anchored her legs, and Blaze dove lower. A squeal escaped her throat and she laughed. Her stomach dropped, but she resisted grabbing him again.
“And?” he asked.
“That was thrilling and terrifying and amazing.”
He chuckled. “Isn’t it?”
Blaze descended through a low cloud, and she reached out to touch it, less fear in her stomach. She didn’t even need to hold tight to Ryan anymore. She reached up, fingertips skimming the cool white. “It’s beautiful up here.”
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “The view is fascinating.”
Blaze burst out of the clouds, and a golden-red line of disappearing sunlight pierced the horizon. She shivered in the open air, her clothes slightly damp.
Blaze’s warm scales weren’t enough to keep her from being cold now. She cuddled closer to Ryan and shivered. Heat pulsed through his shirt. “Better?” he asked.
“You can do that?”
He shrugged. “I thought I’d try.”
She pressed her cold hands against his back. Ridges of scars met her touch, and Ryan stiffened. When she pulled her hands off of him and wrapped them around his middle, he relaxed a bit. He’d said Belladonna touched his back to heal him. She
pressed her cheek against the ridges and held him. It wasn’t healing, no matter what Belladonna had called it.
“We’ll be landing soon.” Ryan’s deep voice rumbled in her ear. “Blaze found a spot to rest for the night.”
“Can you feel Jayden or Ethan?” She hadn’t sensed their bonds yet, but held out hope that the closer they got to the Forest of Legends she would.
“I don’t check. I don’t know if she’ll feel it.”
“That’s probably best.”
They’d been traveling two days with no sign of anyone else yet, but they would all know to reach the Forest of Legends, too.
Blaze started to descend, and Serena clutched Ryan. He laughed. “You really don’t like this?”
“I do. It also scares me.”
“Sometimes the best things in life are a little scary.”
Truth.
Serena remained quiet until they landed. Blaze warmed a spot on the ground then lay down. Ryan leaned against the dragon, and Serena sat beside him, Blaze’s scales warming her back. She picked up a stick and etched a groove in the dirt. “I knew her before. Belladonna.” She ventured to look at Ryan. “I’m nothing like her.”
“I know,” he said quietly, avoiding her gaze.
“She’s not a Healer, Ryan.”
His throat bobbed. “I see that now. Is she more powerful than you?”
“Yes and no. As a Healer, no, but Belladonna has made a deal with the Mistress. She chose a black lion to bond with. She was given a venomous heart.”
Ryan sucked in a breath. “Like mine?” An icy chill filled the air around them. And Ryan trembled.
“You’re nothing like her. She gave herself to evil. You fight it.” She looked into his eyes.
His bowed head was close to hers. “I could become like her. If I let it take over?” His voice cracked.
“In theory, but in theory so could I.”
“And you think we can kill her?”
“Yes.”
His eyes met hers, and hope burst through them. “You’re with me? In spite of who I am?”
“I’m with you because of who you are.” She wanted to say because she loved him, but she stumbled over the words, for many reasons.
“Thank you.” His smile seemed so sad.
“Ryan.” She moved closer to him. He didn’t say anything, just released a shaky breath. “Listen to me.” She grabbed his hand and waited for him to look at her. “When we fell from Blaze, I was conscious for the whole thing. You shielded me.”