by Natalie Ann
So maybe he was being overly sensitive and it was nothing more than that. Her eyes were all soft and playful right now. He wanted to believe her, but was still having a hard time. Once bitten, twice shy was how he was feeling.
“Where’s the house?” he asked again, trying to change the subject.
He listened to her when she told him about her day with Brynn yesterday, and the house she bought and was going to rehab. It was a pretty high-end area, not that he’d thought she’d live elsewhere.
“Sounds nice.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyebrows creasing.
“Nothing.”
He didn’t know what was wrong. Just hearing her say she bought that house and it was all moving so fast made him wonder what was going on.
Was he wrong to get involved with her? Was she looking for more from him? Was she looking for him to not have Trey around as much? Or was he just all over the place with his thoughts and completely off base? He hoped it was the latter.
“It doesn’t look it to me.” She ran her hands down his chest, then yanked him forward by the waist of his jeans. “I’m not sure how you got free time, but I appreciate it. I hope you know that.”
He laid his lips on hers and kissed her softly. He was reading more into things; he could see it now. “Not as much as I appreciated getting the time to spend with you.”
***
Olivia shut and locked the door, then set the alarm after Finn left.
Imagine that. What a little stinker Kaitlin was. What a great father Finn was.
She’d known something was wrong with him once they’d gotten dressed. She could see it in his eyes. He should have been relaxed, but he wasn’t. He was edgy, almost fidgeting.
Guilt. That’s what was wrong with him, she’d realized. He felt guilty leaving Trey for the first time with someone that wasn’t family, and then coming to her and fooling around.
She tried not to be offended by that, but it was hard not to. Deep down she knew Finn didn’t mean to make her feel that way, and she had to push her own feelings aside.
“He’s in good hands, Finn.”
“I know. But still…”
“He’s your baby. I get it. You’re doing this on your own.”
“Yeah. It’s hard. I always doubt myself.”
“She messed with you bad, didn’t she?”
“Who?”
He knew who she was talking about, but she said it anyway, “Trey’s mother.”
The look that came across Finn’s face made Olivia regret voicing it. She was getting ready to apologize when his features relaxed and he just mumbled, “Yeah.”
“I won’t do that to you, Finn. I hope you know that. I won’t ask you to choose between Trey and me. And I won’t mess with your head.”
He continued to look at her, and she wished she never started this conversation. His only answer was to pull his phone out and look at it again. “I still have time before I have to meet them at the theater, but I don’t want to be late in case the movie gets out early.”
She ran her hand across his cheek. He hadn’t shaved today again, and she was coming to love this look on him. The tough and rugged fireman who was stressing over the fact that his four-year-old wanted to go to the movies without him.
“You know, I can barely take care of myself or keep my head above water without sinking. The last thing I would think of doing is pulling someone down with me, let alone a child.” She hoped he believed her.
He grabbed her hand and held it loosely in his. “Looks like you’re doing okay to me.”
“This isn’t about money,” she argued, hoping it wasn’t going back to that again. The same thing everyone thought of first when they thought of her.
“I never said it was. You look to have it all together from my point of view. Probably more than me in some ways.”
“Guess I’m better at fooling people than I thought,” she said, glad he hadn’t meant it the way she’d thought.
His eyes were searching hers, looking deeper into her than she felt comfortable with. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”
“Probably because no one else ever has before.” She regretted saying those words the minute they were out of her mouth and he frowned.
“You’re selling yourself short. Don’t do that. It’s just going to piss me off.” She’d never seen him angry before, but she was seeing signs of it now. Was he angry at her or in her defense? “I’m sorry,” he said before she could figure it out.
“Don’t be. This is new territory for both of us.”
“Bad territory?”
She didn’t miss him holding his breath. “No. Just different. New. I like what we have and I want more.”
“Olivia,” he said, cutting her off.
“No. Let me finish. I want more, but at the same time, I won’t be selfish and ask for it. You have bigger priorities than me.” She laughed lightly. “I’ve got some big priorities too. I can’t be selfish to myself either. I’ve put too much on the line right now, and I want to see it through.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? I want to see it through with you, too. I want to keep what we have right now. I like it; I like the pace we have. I like the step we took today.” She smiled at him, then gave him a wink and made him smile back at her. “I’d like to take more steps along those lines, but I don’t want to rush into anything. I didn’t buy a house for you, or us. I bought it for me. Time to pull up my big girl pants and see if I can live alone. Not just in a high-rise or hotel.”
“You look really good in big girl pants. Have I mentioned that?”
“No, you haven’t. It’s nice to hear.” And she was happy he was trying to tease her.
“So, we’re good right now. On the same page, it seems.”
“We’re more than good.” She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “Go get your son and enjoy the rest of your weekend. I’ll see you on Monday.”
He closed his eyes, opened them back up and looked at her deeply again. She fought back the tears; she didn’t even know why she was emotional. There was no reason to be.
“Thanks for understanding.”
“Thanks for acknowledging that I could understand,” she whispered. But he didn’t hear the words. He was already outside turning the corner.
A lot of things happened this afternoon. A lot of important things. But the most important of all was that he believed in her.
Believed she was stronger and more independent than she ever gave herself credit for.
Deserved Better
“Are you going to Judge Mathews’s party this weekend?”
Finn turned to see Andy had asked the question. “How do you know I was invited?”
“Good guess.”
Finn was surprised when Trey came running out of preschool flashing the envelope in his hand last week. “Daddy, Michael gave me this and asked me to give it to you. It’s a party!”
They’d walked to Finn’s truck and he reached over for the envelope, expecting to see a birthday party invitation, but instead it was a flier for an annual Memorial Day party at Judge Mathews’s house with a handwritten note from Brooke asking them to come.
If Trey hadn’t been looking at him so excitedly, he would have said no. He didn’t belong there, not among that group of people.
“Can we go, Daddy?”
“I don’t know, Trey. I think I have to work the night before.” He was running his shifts in his head.
“Can we go after you nap?”
Trey still thought Finn came home to nap and it was cute when he said it. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“So, are you going?” Andy asked him again, bringing his thoughts back to the present.
“I don’t know. Are you? I didn’t know you knew the Mathews family that well.”
“I’ve had Thanksgiving with Thomas and Michele for the last few years. Isabel Harper and Michele cook it together at Kaitlin’s, and everyone goes.”
Which brought his thoughts back to Olivia. He’d bet she was going to be there, too.
He was at a loss on how to handle that if she was. It wasn’t really a secret he and Olivia were dating…except to Trey.
How would Trey react? How would Finn react around Olivia in front of Trey? Too much for him to process right now.
“Well, it’s a great time if you decide to go. The kids have a blast. I heard Trey has made friends with the Judge’s grandkids.”
“He has.” Which was why Finn was struggling so much with this. He wanted to go for Trey.
Ever since Trey had gone to the movies with the other kids a few weeks ago, that was all he talked about. Each day after school, he rambled about all the fun he had with Michael and Evan.
Then he said Cameron and Harper were at the same school too, only in a different classroom. Trey even wanted to go to the park again last weekend, but the weather didn’t cooperate.
“You’re making a lot of progress on the display cases,” Andy said, changing the subject, thankfully.
“I should be able to start staining them next week. They’ve been a bear to hand cut the design to fit around the glass, but I’m thrilled with how they’ve all turned out. Glass should be here next week and I can start finishing them up.”
Then he’d be moving on to another project, he was sure. There wouldn’t be much left here for him. The other crew could finish up the details of the conference room and kitchen, the final painting, and laying the carpet.
“I’m just going to do a quick check on things and get out of your hair. The crew should be here soon.”
Finn watched Andy walk away, glad to not be talking anymore. He needed to get to work before Olivia came in, because every time she arrived, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Thinking about when they could find time to be alone again. And those thoughts filled him with guilt.
He felt horrible that he was trying to find time with her, time he could be spending with his son when he wasn’t working.
He had to put Trey first. He never wanted Trey to feel like he wasn’t wanted or wasn’t loved, that Trey was just an afterthought of a selfish woman with grand ideas and plans in her mind. Because Trey was much more than that. Trey was his son and his life, and he’d make sure Trey knew that at all times.
Just because Becca had moved on without a backward glance didn’t mean Finn ever would. It would be his life’s mission to prove to Trey he would always come first. He would always be loved enough.
But he and Olivia hadn’t been alone in over a week. They had lunch a few times together, only it was always rushed so he could get back to work. If not lunch, then rushed time together in the back room with the door shut.
Last week, she’d been so excited to get the keys to her house, and she couldn’t stop talking about it when he called on his dinner break from the firehouse.
“If you don’t have plans tomorrow, I can pick you up for lunch and we can swing over then. I’ll still be able to get Trey early like normal.”
“It’s sweet that you pick him up early and run errands with him on your day off.”
“I try to make up for not seeing him for over twenty-four hours. He likes our time together. He calls it Man Time.”
“Wants to be sweet like his Daddy, huh?”
“I’m not sure of the last time I’ve been called sweet.” He’d been called a lot of things, but he was pretty sure sweet might not have been one of them. He was talking low at that point, not wanting anyone to hear his conversation.
“I think I’m embarrassing you in front of your men, so I’ll let you go and see you tomorrow.”
The next day he picked her up at noon like he said and they drove to her house. It was everything he expected it to be, the neighborhood and all.
“I can’t see you mowing the lawn here,” he commented.
“Because it’s not going to happen. I saw the neighbor’s son doing theirs the other day and approached him, then offered to pay him to do mine too. The poor kid just stared at me for a minute, like he couldn’t understand what I was asking him.”
“I’m sure he couldn’t get his tongue rolled back in his mouth to speak. You have that effect on men.”
Just another reminder he was falling for a woman who attracted men like flies on honey. All sweet and shiny on the outside, but not necessarily what was on the inside. Though to be fair, Olivia hadn’t shown any signs of being more than sweet and shiny all the way through to her soul.
She laid her hand on his leg in the truck and gave his thigh a little squeeze as he parked at the end of her driveway.
“Do I have that effect on you?”
“I would think it’s pretty obvious.” He didn’t miss her eyes traveling to a more private location, then smirking. “Cut it out and show me your house.” Before I forget what we’re doing here.
“You’re no fun today.” She turned and got out of his truck, removed her keys from her purse, and walked to the front door. “Let me show you my new ugly empty house.”
She wasn’t kidding when she said it was ugly, but it had good bones. He listened to her explain everything that was being done.
“I was thinking of having some custom-made shelving units in my office. I heard Harper’s has this guy on staff that’s good with wood.”
Her wink just sent him over the edge. He was glad she’d made that comment once they were upstairs in the master bedroom. It was still empty, but there was at least carpet on the floor.
“I’m good with it, all right.”
Caution be damned. He reached for her, pulling her close, and her arms wrapped around his neck.
“You have more restraint than me. I can’t believe it took you this long to kiss me.”
He couldn’t believe it either. “I didn’t want to attack you the minute we walked in the door.”
“I wouldn’t have minded. Now stop talking and show me what you’ve got.”
She was a piece of work and he was finding he enjoyed every minute of it. She wanted to see what he had and he didn’t want to disappoint her.
“We have too many clothes on.”
“Do something about it, then. Never mind, I guess I need to step up.” She pulled back from him and lifted her little summer sweater over her head at the same time she slipped her feet out of her sexy barely-there pumps. She was always so put together. “What are you waiting for? Catch up,” she said, laughing at him and undoing the snap on her slim-fit pants.
He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed when he was about to have sex, but she just pulled something out of him he never thought he possessed. Bending down, he unlaced his boots and shed them fast, followed quickly by his jeans and shirt.
“I’ve got one right here,” she said, holding up a condom package. “I shoved it in my pocket right before you picked me up. Aren’t you glad I’m so prepared?”
“Very glad. Come here.”
He yanked her forward and laid his lips to hers. In the back of his mind he wanted to take it slow, he wanted to give her more than a fast and hurried time together, but she wasn’t letting him.
“I can’t seem to wait, so hurry up.”
He’d make it up to her, he’d have to, but for now he did what she wanted.
Lowering her to the carpet, he came down on top of her, his body covering hers, feeling her softness against him completely. He wanted to lie there and hold her just like that, but before he knew it, she had them shifting and was on top of him.
Scooting down his chest, running her hands all over him, making him think he was going to go mad. Hearing the condom package rip open was music to his ears. Then quickly, after her capable hands covered him, she moved her body and slid right down on top of him.
Watching Olivia in the throes of ecstasy was the best aphrodisiac there was. Not that he needed one. Not with
her naked and on top of him. Hell, even clothed and smiling at him, she turned him on.
Up and down, slow, quick, burning him, making him sizzle. She was playing with him, he knew it, and he didn’t care. She could play like this all night and he’d be a happy man.
Bringing his hands up, he ran his thumbs across the hardened peaks of her nipples, heard her groan and felt her squeeze him tight. So he did it again and again.
She wanted to be in control, he knew it, but so did he. He was bigger and stronger and he was going to get his way. Because he needed to slow her down or it was going to be over too soon. He didn’t want it over; he wanted to savor it. He wanted their time together to last longer than they ever seemed to have.
Rolling her fast, he switched their position, hooked his arms under her knees and lifted her hips up, sending him deeper yet into her. The noises she was making in her throat sounded wild and uncontrolled, but he continued on, bringing them there, pushing them harder, listening to her cry out and beg.
“Finn, more. Give me more.”
So he lifted her legs up higher, brought himself almost up to his knees and gave her everything he had. She took it, just like she asked for, and when it was all said and done, he wondered if there was anything left for him to give.
“We really should try this in a bed sometime.”
They were lying there, both of them on their backs, breathing heavily, her hand on his chest stroking him.
“I don’t see one around.”
“Just another thing to add to my list of things to do. Guess I’ll go furniture shopping this weekend. I’d like to have stuff ready for delivery when they finish the room.”
“I could make you a bed.”
“What?” she asked, leaning up on her elbow, looking down at him, confused.
“Never mind. It was just a thought.”
“No. Are you serious? You can make me a bed? You want to make me one?”
“Yes and yes. But you probably have specific ideas of what you want.” He was sure her tastes ran polar opposite of his.