The Stymphalian birds had been soaring eagles before she tampered with them, and like the other creations she’d fashioned, she asked permission before gifting them with armored beaks and razor-sharp feathers made of metal. I shivered, remembering how close I’d come to dying the last time I’d encountered them. They seemed safe enough now, but I knew how dangerous they would become.
Seeing it was time to go, I reached down and swept her up in my arms. I kissed her forehead as a sort of apology. Ana gave me a beatific smile and kicked her legs as she used the air to lower us softly down. Her smile warmed me even in the shadows of the great tree.
While we soared high among the branches, I asked, “Why don’t they remember me—the sirens, the birds, and the bats? Did you take their memories?”
“Well, like I said, the birds and the bats are first generation. It’s highly unlikely that they will pass on stories of you to their descendants. Their understanding of things is very limited.”
“Okay, then what about the sirens? They’re the same, er, people, as they were when I encountered them.”
“Yes, well, in their case, I wiped their memories.”
“Oh. Bet they regret that,” I said petulantly. “Surprised you didn’t wipe mine.”
She gave me a curious look and said, “I told you I would never take your memory.” She blinked rapidly, then asked softly, “Do you wish to forget what passed between us?”
“No,” I answered immediately. “Do you?”
“I do not.”
The relief I felt surprised me. The shock of finding Ana in my arms in the Grove of Dreams had worn off. My dream woman, the one who’d haunted my mind for years, had been replaced by a very real girl. I’d always assumed Kells was the one I’d chased through the woods, kissed, and declared my love to. But now I suspected it had been Ana all along. It made sense. Ana was the only one who had the power to both blind me and hide our scent. Her hair was much longer than Kelsey’s and she was much taller.
“That leaves one last thing,” Ana said, thankfully interrupting my thoughts before they went much further.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The ravens.”
“Right. Are you going to summon them?”
“Not exactly.”
We stopped on a tree branch high above the ground. The air around us blurred as Ana moved time forward. My stomach lurched and I grunted as my muscles trembled. Two people came into view—me and Kells. Ana whispered, “Now, whatever you do, don’t come in contact with yourself.”
She snapped her fingers, and the magic of the scarf wrapped around us despite the fact that we’d just left the Divine Scarf at the top of the tree. It transformed us into ravens. I flapped my wings with irritation, cawing at Ana, who gave me a bird wink, but she leapt off the branch. Flying came as naturally to her as everything else she did. Her feathers were the color of her hair and they shone in the light as we trailed the people below.
I nearly fell as I flapped awkwardly and beat my wings hard to avoid coming in contact with myself. “Caw!” I said, when I meant to say, “Look out!” Luckily, I landed in an upright position, and then immediately took off, trying to put distance between me and my former self.
Time sped forward in spurts and I used my connection to Ana to find her in the little tree house. She was sitting in a nest there, pecking at some honey cakes. Kelsey’s bracelet and the camera were lying beside her.
What have you been up to? I asked.
Stealing things. It feels gratifying for some reason. Don’t worry, I’ll give them back. They don’t need them right now. What does that box do anyway?
It’s a camera. You take images with it. Remember when I explained them at the circus?
How does it work? she asked as she pecked at the cakes.
Here, I’ll show you. I managed to take an image or two with my tiny bird tongue, which was harder to do than I thought it would be, and showed her the images.
Just then, I heard noise. We peeped down over the edge of the nest. It was surreal watching me and Kelsey scramble into the tree house. If I could have rolled my eyes at the idiot I was making of myself as I swung into the tree house like a monkey, I would have. It was a pretty pathetic show I was putting on. At least Kelsey called me on it.
“Stop showing off, for heaven’s sake. Do you realize how far up we are and that you could fall to a grisly death at any moment? You’re acting like this is a great, fun adventure,” Kelsey said.
I tried to tune the rest out. Clearly, I was making moves on Kelsey, and it was embarrassing to know Ana was right next to me watching it. Unfortunately, it was also eye-opening to see how Kells wasn’t really responding in the way I’d thought she was. Sure, she liked me, but as I studied her from a new perspective, I could see how me being hands-on made her uncomfortable.
Ana was fixated on the show below. If I could have groaned I would.
How did you do this? I asked in an attempt to distract her from the scene below.
Do what? she replied, her eyes fixed on the other me.
How did you change us into Hugin and Munin. I wrote off the orange tiger version of myself as a simple rearranging of color, but the birds? I didn’t think it was possible.
You forget how we changed the young silk maker into a horse. Perhaps you should redefine your parameters for what is possible and what is not. Now shush, Sohan. I want to listen.
I puffed out my feathers, irritated that my not-too-subtle attempt at diversion had failed.
“…I like being a man all the time,” the other me said, “and I like being with you.”
Oh, brother, I thought. It was awkward knowing Ana was watching my old self fawn all over Kells, especially with everything that had recently happened between us. Finally, they sat down and Kelsey pulled out her trusty notes. Gotta love Kelsey’s efficiency. I missed that about having her around. We remained quiet, watching them and listening as they talked. Finally, I got impatient and made a noise.
“Hello? Is anybody here?” I heard my old self say.
What do we do? Ana said, her bird voice honking.
Uh, let’s see. I bobbed my head up and down. I don’t really remember. It was something about clearing thoughts.
Ana ruffled her feathers and squawked at me. Never mind, she said. We’ll figure it out.
She took off and I followed, still awkward in flight though she pulled off a few very impressive pirouettes. My old self actually pulled out the chakram. Please, I thought. Don’t strain yourself. Only I would be wary enough to try to cut off the head of a raven with the chakram.
Always the smart one, Kelsey said, “Let’s wait and see what they do. What do you want from us?” she asked.
Ana landed and echoed, “Wantfrumus?”
“Do you understand me?” asked Kelsey.
Ana nodded.
“What are we doing here? Who are you?” Kells asked.
Taking my cue from Ana, I tried to channel bird and said, “Hughhn.”
Ana cawed and said, “Muunann.”
Kells asked about her stolen items and the honey cakes, which Ana had mostly eaten already. She was probably hungry. I hadn’t thought to try and find her some food. So much for taking good care of the goddess. Now that I considered it, I was starving myself.
Wanting to get the show over with, I hopped onto Kelsey’s knee. When she tilted her head, it came back to me what Hugin did. He’d cleared her thoughts, showing her what she’d face at the top of the tree. That was easy enough. Using the power of my connection to Ana, I placed a thought in her mind. It was more of a memory, actually. I showed her one of the birds who guarded the scarf at the top of the tree. Then I impressed upon her mind what the scarf could do and how she could use it and would use to help them on their quest.
I also gave her an extra memory. A vision of how we’d saved Ren.
“What are you doing?” she asked as my little talons clutched her shoulder.
“Thoughtsrstuck,” I replied.
/> When I was done, a tiny, wispy worm clung to my beak. I didn’t conjure it so I guess it must have been Ana. I opened my beak and swallowed it like I remembered the bird had done before. It tasted like nothing but fog. When Kelsey gasped, accusing me of brain damage, I could have laughed.
Ana, as Munin, did something similar to me, well, the old version of me.
Kells asked me if Ana was clearing thoughts too. I just twitched back and forth on my bird legs and waited for Ana to ask me what she should do. She never did.
Kelsey kept pestering me and finally I said, “Waitforit.”
Finally, Ana hopped down to the floor holding a wispy black strand the size of an earthworm. She swallowed it.
Um, what was that, Ana? I asked.
When she didn’t answer, I listened to my old self talk. I remembered it, but it felt like it had all happened decades ago.
“I’m fine,” my old self said. “He . . . he showed me.”
Ana bristled. Ruffling her feathers at being called a he.
The old me spouted off about Yesubai and the things I remembered from my past.
What did you do, Ana?
I took away your blame, she said softly. Yesubai would not blame you. Your love and concern for her caused you to remember what happened differently.
Did you alter the memories?
No. I just shared your blame, much as I shared your pain before. In that way, it is diminished.
You didn’t need to do that, Ana, I said.
I had to, she answered softly. A goddess and her tiger are meant…meant to share everything.
Everything? I asked quietly, and hopped closer to her.
Yes. In doing this I was able to…to open your mind to new possibilities. She paused, then said, It was interesting, seeing it from your viewpoint. Poor girl.
Yes, I thought. Poor girl.
You loved her.
Not enough.
Enough to punish yourself for centuries. That speaks of a love that lasts through anything.
Does it? I asked. I wondered if that was true. Was my love for Yesubai epic? I didn’t think so. I didn’t know her. Not really. I was infatuated with her. Ready to marry her. But after loving and losing Kelsey, I had a new perspective. What could have been is never equal to what was or what is. Time changes everything.
Ana, as if reading my thoughts, added, Yesubai was a whirlwind caught up in the shadowy storm of a villain. You only felt the possibility of a life with her. The brush of the frenzied gale that was her life touched your cheek and changed you. You are a better man for having known her, Sohan. Do not regret her influence over your life.
Kelsey reached past us and took down the nest. My old self nearly touched me. I screeched in alarm and flapped away desperately.
She took her belongings from the nest, and we watched them as they gave us tokens, thinking we were upset. I looked down at the objects my old self left and, thinking about how he could have made use of them instead of giving them away, said, Why was I such an idiot?
I ask myself that question constantly, Ana replied and laughed as the two of us swept out of the nest and flew off toward the village of the Silvanae.
Chapter 30
Shrine of Air
We entered the village to find it much like I remembered, and I realized just how much time had passed. The trees were now much taller, their branches interlocking overhead. A feast was prepared for us, and Faunus himself bent over Ana’s hand after she transformed into the goddess Durga. Instead of allowing me to take my normal form, Ana changed me into the orange tiger.
“And how are our visitors faring?” she asked as fairies swarmed around her, touching her hair, and dozens of them perched on each and every one of her eight graceful arms. There had been twelve babies born of the trees the last time we were in the village, and now a thriving race of tree folk resided in the settlement.
Dozens and dozens had joined the ranks of the first babies that had been born. As I looked at the trees, I saw the telltale signs of old scars where branches had broken away to welcome the newborn villagers. The fairies no longer needed to watch over the young infants; instead, the elders of each house cared for the newborns. The role of the fairies had now changed. Rather than minding the younglings, they cared for the fauna and provided light for the people at night.
“Goddess,” the Silvanae people chanted as they bowed to her. “We have long awaited your return.”
Faunus answered Ana’s question. “They have been looked after as you instructed so many years ago.”
“Wonderful!” Ana said as she walked around the village, admired the huts, and touched the silver-haired heads of the young. Fairies whispered in her ears, causing her to laugh. Her one-sided conversations sounded delightful, and I wished I knew what they’d said to make her so happy.
The three nymphs who’d attended Kelsey, came up and asked Ana if she would like to bathe or eat. I remembered how appealing Kells had looked in her dress spun of flowers and wasn’t opposed to the idea of seeing Ana attired in a similar manner. I bumped against her leg, trying to encourage her.
“No, thank you,” she said. “Though we would be glad of some food to take with us on our journey. I do so enjoy your honey cakes.”
“Of course, Goddess.”
The Silvanae scrambled to produce a woven bag of honey cakes, a flagon of sweet water, and various pastries and fruits.
“Thank you,” she said, and passed the bag from hand to hand until she’d slung it across her shoulders. “We will depart now, but please call upon us if you have need of us. We promise to return to visit you again someday. Perhaps, next time, I will take some clippings for my own garden.”
The queen of the Silvanae said they would cultivate their prettiest flowers for just such a purpose and would wait upon our return. After a few last instructions regarding Kelsey and my former self, Ana stroking my head as she did so, she turned to leave, and I followed her down the path. When the last of the fairies trailed away, Ana changed back into her normal attire and said, “I’m going to miss this place.”
When I didn’t answer, she looked down and snapped her fingers. I morphed into my human form. “Have I said that I don’t care for the color orange?” I said.
Ana laughed and handed me a honey cake and a fat piece of fruit. As I popped the cake in my mouth, she touched my arm and we left the land of Shangri-La far behind. The colors of the beautiful land swirled around us and were replaced by a dim grayness. Ana handed me the flagon, and I took a long drink and began eating the fruit as she explored the dusty temple.
“Where is this place?” she asked as she licked her thumb.
“You don’t know?”
She shook her head. “I just told the amulet to take us to the next time and place on the list.”
Glancing around, it became clear immediately. “It’s actually fairly close to our mountain home. This is a temple of Durga in Nepal.”
“Is there anything special about this visit you wish to tell me?”
I rubbed my palm over my cheek as I considered. “Well, it was just me and Kells, this time. Kadam wasn’t here and Ren had been captured by Lokesh. He was languishing in that torture chamber.” Ana shivered delicately. “I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
She waved a hand. “I am fine, Sohan. Besides, hearing of it will not be as difficult as seeing it.”
“We’re going to see it?” I asked.
“It’s further down the list, but yes. We are the ones who will take his memory.”
Blowing out a breath, I walked over to where she stood, looking out a window at the night sky. I put a hand on her shoulder, and she surprised me by covering it with her own and turning to me. The moonlight washed over her face, and almost without thinking, I traced her cheekbones with my fingertips and said, “I like you better this way.”
“What way?” she asked.
“Just as yourself and not as the goddess.”
“Is it the
arms that bother you?” she asked with a small grin.
“No.” I slid my hands down her arms, took her hands, and stepped back, considering them. I lifted one of her hands to my mouth and pressed a soft kiss against her wrist. “In fact,” I said quietly, “I have a few ideas about all those arms.”
She lifted an eyebrow. My eyes danced with hers, and slowly, I touched her jaw and cupped her neck. Stepping closer, I lowered my head, thinking to kiss her, but she sucked in a breath and turned away, her body trembling. At first I was confused but then my empty hands tightened into fists. Maybe she found me uninteresting after the time she’d spent with the sirens.
“Sohan—” she began, her back turned to me.
“Don’t worry about it, Ana,” I said stiffly. “I didn’t mean to distract you from your work.”
She sighed and asked what else she needed to know about this temple visit. I quickly ran through everything I could remember. We touched our hands to the temple wall again but this time it was too brief. The print appeared just as we heard footsteps on the stairs. Waving a hand, Ana phased us out of time so we wouldn’t be seen. As usual, our tracks on the dusty floor had melted away. My old self and Kelsey entered, holding hands. I heard the words, “I’ll follow your lead,” and then they knelt at the feet of the statue, placing various offerings.
Kelsey touched her finger to the anklet Ren had given her and I heard the tinkling of bells. They reminded me of Ana now. “Great goddess Durga,” Kelsey said. “We come seeking your help once again. I ask…”
The words faded away as I looked at Ana’s face. She took in Kelsey’s words like the plea they were. They touched her in a way I couldn’t feel. I realized then that she heard the prayers of others in a similar manner. She felt them. Ana responded in an emotional way entirely different than me. Will you hear my prayer, Goddess? I thought.
Almost as if I willed it, Ana turned to face me. A thousand words floated in the space between us but neither of us said anything. I took one step toward her, then another. Wanting, no, needing to bridge the distance.
When my old self began speaking, she stepped away from me and looked directly at him. Though she no longer looked at me, I felt the thick cords of connection between us tighten. “I…don’t deserve a blessing,” I’d said. “What happened is my fault, but I ask you to help my brother. Keep him safe...for her.
Tiger's Dream (Tiger's Curse Book 5) Page 46