Ana waved her hand over Ren’s head and he screamed.
Touching her back, I asked, What’s wrong? Why is he in pain?
He’s…he’s fighting me, she said.
Why? Doesn’t he want to remember?
Ana answered, I need your help. A part of him senses our presence. Ren refuses to submit to our interference again. He is a tiger fighting for his mate.
She put her hand on Ren’s head and I touched his shoulder. Relax, brother, I whispered to his mind. Ren groaned and bucked against us. I couldn’t really blame him. If someone had taken Ana from me in such a way, animalistic lashing out would be the least I’d do. We won’t keep her from you any longer. It’s time for you to remember. Ren settled enough for Ana to finish and then he slumped to the deck. I stood and took Ana’s hand. It’s done, then? I asked.
He will remember everything except your presence when we first took his memories.
Ren stood and began explaining about the veil of concealment and how Durga had hidden away his memories.
“That was a close one,” I said after they were all gone.
She glanced up at the deck above us. “This was a dangerous place for us to be in. You could have met yourself twice here.”
“Right.” I brushed a hand over my jaw, remembering how I’d watched this scene over and over. “Our old selves can’t see us?”
“No. They are gone now. I don’t remember seeing us. Do you?”
“No. I think we’re good.”
“Fortunately for us, that was the last time we had to meddle with Ren’s mind. Speaking of which, we have only one more thing on our list.”
“And then we get to take a break?” I asked, thinking of having Ana all to myself on a white sand beach.
“Yes. But, Sohan, this will be the hardest one of all. And I won’t do it myself. If this is going to happen, it needs to be your choice and your choice alone.”
“What is it?” I asked, swallowing a lump that formed in my throat.
“We must return to the moment of Yesubai’s death.”
I nodded. “Okay. I think I can do that.”
“It is not seeing her death that I fear will be your undoing.”
Cocking my head, I said, “What else could it be? What do we have to do? I already know Kadam won’t want us to save her.”
“No. We are not being sent there to save her. We are to go to the moment you became a tiger.” Wetting her lips, Ana stepped closer and took my hand. “Do you remember? Our final task is to create the curse that changed you.”
Chapter 36
A Promise Fulfilled
“The curse,” I echoed, my voice trailing off.
“Yes. Kadam left it for last.”
“He left it for last on purpose, didn’t he?”
Ana nodded uncomfortably. “He wanted you to have time to consider all the ramifications first.”
“Kadam always was a clever one,” I said, turning my back to her.
Ana was silent for a moment, letting me gather my thoughts. Finally, she placed a hand on my arm. “Neither of us will force you into this decision,” she said. “If you choose to undo the curse, to prevent it from happening, I will not judge you.”
I took her hand and brought her around to face me. “What would you choose, Ana?” I asked.
“What I would choose is irrelevant. You are the one who has lost not one but two women you cared for. You suffered loneliness and heartache in the jungle. You are the one doomed to be a tiger for the remainder of his days.”
“And what of you?” I asked her. “Would you choose the life of the goddess? I know you didn’t want it. Not when Sunil left, anyway.”
“No,” she replied softly. “I did not want it then.”
“And now?”
“Now, I… It is a life I am willing to live, but not without—” She cut off the end of the sentence and bit her lip.
“Not without me,” I finished for her.
“Yes,” Ana said. “If you choose to remain fully human, to deny the power of the Damon Amulet, then I, too, will live a mortal’s life.”
I touched my forehead to hers. “Then we would never meet.”
“No.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said anxiously. “There is no decision to make. If I don’t take on the power, Yesubai will still die. Ren and I would likely perish at Lokesh’s hands, if not immediately, then soon enough, and you…you would be a slave to that monster who abused children. Is that what you want?”
“No,” Ana said, “but just because you reject the amulet does not necessarily mean those things are inevitable. Think of it. Without the amulet, Lokesh would have died many years before. Yesubai would never have been born. It would reset time. Who knows the impact on the world? Maybe that means the man who enslaved children wouldn’t be born either, or perhaps he would be completely different or live in a city far away. We cannot know.”
“Kadam knew,” I said softly. “Perhaps, if I wasn’t such a coward, I would have trod the path he did and caught a glimpse of my future, followed different timelines.”
Taking my face in her hands, Ana said, “He did not want that for us, remember? You’ve seen how his knowledge burdens him.”
I nodded.
She pressed, “Do not let the fear of what you’ve seen in the past or the sufferings of your family and friends decide this most important choice for you. Never, in the history of the world, has there been a man who has possessed the gift of hindsight in this way. Think of your past, absolutely, but also consider the unlived years to come. Allow your heart to guide you and listen only to its whisperings. Promise me you will do this, Sohan.”
I caught her wrist and brought her palm to my lips. Closing my eyes, I kissed it and said, “I promise, Ana.”
“Then, when you are ready, we will go. We shall observe unseen for a time so that you might decide, but know that I will support your choice, whatever it may be.”
She touched her fingertips to the Damon Amulet where it lay against my skin and then leaned close to kiss my cheek.
When she lifted her head, I leaned back and removed the piece of jewelry I’d kept hidden behind the amulet. I’d retrieved it when I woke Ana after escorting Lady Silkworm home, thinking I’d find the right time to give it to her. “No matter what happens,” I said. “I want you to have this. Technically, it already belongs to you. It was hidden inside one of the pumpkins in the House of Gourds.”
I opened my fingers, and she picked up the ring and pinched the edges, holding it up to the light. It was a simple ring—a silver band of interlocking vines woven together—but since the Grove of Dreams, it reminded me of her, of us. It never felt right to give it to Kelsey, though I’d saved it with the intention of gifting it to her at some point. Now I knew why I never had. It was always supposed to be Ana’s.
“Do you give me this token to earn my favor?” she asked with a smile. “If so, you already have the ability to bend the goddess to your will.”
I shook my head. “I ask nothing in return. It’s a symbol of my regard for you.”
“Ah. And should I interpret your regard to mean I am a weed that chokes you?” she teased.
Taking her hand, I drew her close. “No,” I said softly. “I regard you as you regard your flowers.” Touching my fingertips to her hair, I continued, “You are a rare and precious bloom, bringing me delight every time I come near. Whatever happens next, I wanted you to know that I don’t regret this journey with you and the bond we share is something I cherish.”
Ana slid the ring onto her finger and then twined her hands around my neck. “Then the ring is something I will cherish,” she said.
Wrapping my arms around her, I called upon the power of the amulet, and the two of us leapt through time. We rematerialized in the palace of Lokesh and stayed phased out of time so we’d be invisible to those around us. Ana took my hand and strode forward, following the sound of voices. Turning a corner, we came upon my former self talking with Lokesh.
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br /> “Where is he?” my old self demanded. “You can’t just throw him in prison.”
“Calm down, young princeling. He has come to no harm.” Under his breath, Lokesh added, “At least nothing he won’t survive.”
My younger self whipped around and narrowed his eyes, but Lokesh affixed a politician’s smile on his face. “You must trust me when I say this will work. All we need to do is show him that my daughter loves you and your Dhiren will tear up the betrothal agreement himself. After that, if he is truly the loving brother you claim he is, he will negotiate new terms.
“As for me, I will play the part of the vengeful father who has been deceived by the Rajaram family. To protect his honor and that of his family, Rajaram’s heir will pay whatever price we wish to make this ugly business disappear. Oh, he may hate you for a while, but I am certain it will all work out the way it should in the end.” He gripped the shoulder of my former self. “We’ll find him a new bride together, one that will be a more fitting choice. Once he is happily married, he will soon forget all this unpleasantness.”
Vile man, Ana hissed. I am glad the demon is dead.
I agreed. We stayed to listen to the two men make their plans and then followed my old self outside, shadowing him until he found Yesubai. As she fell into his arms, she pulled back her veil and I heard Ana’s gasp of surprise.
She is lovely, Ana said. Your memories of her were imprecise.
Memories often are. I was fancying myself in love with Kelsey when you saw Yesubai through my eyes before. It likely tainted my recollections. But you’re right, Yesubai was beautiful,” I mused as I watched the two people embrace. I glanced at Ana’s face and found her expression unreadable. Does she hate Yesubai? Is she jealous? If Ana had been the one falling into the arms of a stranger, I don’t know what I’d do. Strangle him probably. But Ana just watched quietly.
I, too, studied the violet-eyed girl, for that was what she was, a girl, merely sixteen years old. Yesubai would have been a fitting match for either me or Ren at that time. But now, centuries later, she seemed so very young to me. If I looked in the mirror, my face might not appear that different than the young man holding Yesubai, but my eyes showed my age. I carried the years inside. They’d stretched and shaped me just as much as marks upon my flesh would have.
So much had happened to me since I’d been that boy. I felt like a completely different person. My body was youthful but my spirit was so very old. As I watched them together, my heart swelled. Not with a blushing affection for the sweet girl who was the daughter of a monster but with a sense of wistfulness and of sadness for a life cut short.
“What’s happening?” Yesubai asked, stepping away from the embrace.
My younger self answered, “Your father says we’ll have to confront him openly and that he believes Ren will be more amenable if he sees the three of us as a united front. My brother is technically your father’s prisoner, but he assures me he only means to threaten Ren until he gives us what he wants, then he’ll sign a new betrothal agreement.”
“But—”
Just then, Lokesh came upon them. “Ah, there you are, my dear.”
It was obvious that Yesubai was deathly afraid of her father. She drew her veil up immediately upon hearing his voice and lowered her head. Backing quickly away from the boy she loved, Yesubai placed her arm across her father’s.
“If you will excuse us, Kishan,” Lokesh said, “I will escort my daughter to her chamber to rest and change before your brother is summoned.”
“Of course,” my old self said.
I was careful to stay a good distance away from him as we left the old Kishan behind and trailed after Yesubai and Lokesh instead. He took his daughter up a set of stone steps. With no less than three locked doors between her chamber and the garden, he’d made it so there was no possible way for Yesubai to escape.
Once Yesubai and Lokesh entered her room, the door was locked behind them. We decided it was best to wait in the hall. Even so, we heard snippets of conversation and whispered threats. Ana was about push her way in anyway when the door suddenly flew open and Lokesh exited. Since Yesubai was safely ensconced with her nurse, we decided to follow Lokesh.
Yesubai’s father locked her door and then disappeared through the next. Just as we were about to follow him, we heard the girl’s alarmed voice through the door. Yesubai spoke softly enough that the soldiers outside couldn’t hear but loud enough for a goddess and her tiger to make out.
“Isha,” she said, “I’m so frightened! He’s going to kill them!”
Ana gave me a meaningful look. I took her hand and squeezed. As her servant comforted her, we moved across the courtyard in an instant, disappearing through the very walls of the palace, and trailed Lokesh, who ended up in the throne room with his advisor.
“When you bring him in,” Lokesh said, “make sure Yesubai is the first thing he sees. The two lovesick princes will be stumbling over each other to give me what I want.”
“Of course, and then, after they’re dead, I’ll get my reward?”
“Yes, yes, my daughter will be yours. Now go. Make the prisoner ready.”
Once the man left, Lokesh closed the door and bolted it, then he raised his arms and practiced wielding the power of the amulet. Ana watched him, transfixed. The power didn’t come naturally to Lokesh. Both of us could feel the amulet resisting his commands.
It’s not his to control, Ana said. It fights him.
It does.
Lokesh and his ancestors were never meant to wield the power. They were only caretakers. We watched Lokesh stumble. The veins in his arms stood out almost black against his skin. It’s destroying him, she said. Making him mad like Kadam said it would.
Will it affect Kadam the same way? I asked.
Ana bit her lip. The more the power is used, the more it destroys those who employ it. But Kadam holds only one piece. She put her hand on my arm. We will keep watch over him.
Then what’s protecting us? I asked.
The girl next to me gave me a look that spoke volumes. The only problem was, I didn’t know exactly what she was saying or not saying.
Perhaps someday we will find out, she answered softly.
Lokesh had worked up a good sweat after an hour or so of using the amulet. He reached for a towel and mopped his brow just as there was a knock on the door. He wrenched it open. “What is it?” he hissed.
“Your daughter is ready. Even now she is with the younger prince. I thought it best not to leave them alone too long.”
“Very prudent of you,” Lokesh said. “Give me a moment and then escort them in.”
The man disappeared and Lokesh used the power of the amulet to cool his frame. He pulled on his robe and smoothed his hair. As he did, his servant entered, bowing, and escorted Yesubai and my old self into the room.
How proud I’d looked then. How happy and self-assured. Yes, I’d been worried about Ren but I was more concerned with the girl on my arm. Ana was right that my memories of Yesubai didn’t do her justice. Then, all I’d seen was her beauty. The kindness in her eyes. The love she obviously felt for me. Now, I could see the fear shimmering just under the bloom of her cheeks, the tremble of the glossy lips that marred her smile, and the unshed tears causing her eyes to glisten.
After they sat and Lokesh gave his final instructions, soldiers were given orders and Ren was escorted into the room. Ren had been battered, but it was nothing compared to the torture Lokesh had himself inflicted on Ren in the future. At that point in his life, Ren was still full of hope and defiance. Even when he saw me sitting on the throne with Yesubai and knew of my treachery and her disloyalty, his anger and sorrow were tiny things when weighed next to losing Kelsey.
Ren said, “Why have you—you, who are almost family—treated me with such…inhospitality?”
“My dear prince,” Lokesh answered, “you have something I desire.”
I winced, making myself listen again to every word Ren said. It was almost as if he wer
e asking me the questions instead of Lokesh. Yes, Yesubai’s father had caused us pain, but now it was me doing this. I, Kishan, was actually the one who was going to make him, make us suffer for years.
“Nothing you could want can justify this,” Ren said. “Are our kingdoms not to be joined? Everything I have has been at your disposal. You needed only to ask. Why have you done this?”
Why, indeed? Though my brother couldn’t see me, I strode over to him and put a ghostly hand on his shoulder. Both of us stared at Lokesh as he rubbed his jaw. Being with Ren like that, standing next to him, was the way it always should have been. Brothers, side by side.
“Plans change,” Lokesh said. “It seems that your brother would like to take my daughter for his bride. He has promised me certain remunerations if I help him achieve that goal.”
The two went back and forth. My hands itched to do something. To stop Lokesh. Here. Now. But I wasn’t supposed to do that. I was there to make a decision. One that would affect not only my life but the lives of every single person I loved in the world.
My younger self hissed, “I thought we had an arrangement. I only brought my brother to you because you swore that you would not kill him! You were to take the amulet. That’s all.”
“You should have learned by now that I take whatever I want,” Lokesh answered.
Was that who I always was, a man who took? I’d taken Yesubai. I’d taken Kelsey. And now there was Ana. If I made the decision to keep the power of the amulet, would I be taking away her choices? Ren’s?
That’s when I heard it.
I will stand by you, brother.
Stunned, I quickly glanced up and saw Ren was looking directly at my old self and he was looking back. Was that my voice or Ren’s? Was it possible we’d always be connected somehow through the Damon Amulet, or was I just hearing the echo of thoughts coming from my younger self? There was no way to know.
Lokesh’s outcry diverted all eyes to him. “Perhaps you require a demonstration of my power. Yesubai, come!”
The poor girl whimpered and twisted her body on the golden chair as he approached. Before he could reach her, Ren, ever the hero, intervened and brought her father’s attention back to him.
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