Emma and the Vampires

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by Wayne Josephson


  Mr. Knightley extended his cold, pale hand and took hers.

  “United in love, my dear Emma,” he said gently, “let us together vanquish the evil vampires!”

  ***

  That evening, under the full illumination of moonlight, the gentlemen of Highbury, accompanied by Emma and Harriet Smith, assembled at the Crown Inn for a ceremonial glass of sherry before they set out on their quest.

  Mr. George Knightley raised a toast to their impending victory, joined by Mr. Weston, Cole, Cox, Churchill, and his brother Mr. John Knightley, who had graciously journeyed from London for the occasion. Mr. Elton was absent, having been forbidden by Mrs. Elton to participate in the noble adventure.

  All had sharpened their sabres, including Emma, and all wielded wooden stakes as well. Miss Smith, being inept at swordplay, had tied multiple wooden stakes about both calves.

  “Onwards to victory!” exclaimed Mr. George Knightley.

  “Hear! Hear!” returned the ebullient band of vampire killers.

  They set off on foot along the Richmond road and soon left the village of Highbury behind. The warriors walked silently, full of contemplation about the battle soon to be waged.

  About half a mile out of the village, the gentle soldiers slowed their pace; the vampires among them employed their acute hearing, listening carefully for telltale signs of the wild vampire nest.

  Mr. George Knightley stopped in his tracks and raised his hand. The others halted as well. They were close now. They could hear activity on the other side of a thick hedge.

  George Knightley whispered to Emma, “Their attention is diverted. I can hear them feasting on something—or someone. We shall take them by surprise!”

  Mr. Weston pointed to an opening in the hedge and whispered loudly, “Here we may gain access!”

  “Indeed!” rejoined George Knightley, also whispering. “Ladies and gentlemen! Tally ho! Charge!”

  The warriors surged through the opening in the hedge and came upon a clearing. They stopped and gasped in horror!

  The scene they beheld filled them with revulsion, dismay, and anger. Fifty wild, ragged vampires were clustered in groups round six young ladies, feasting viciously on their blood. The creatures had, not long before, attacked Mrs. Goddard’s boarding school and carried away the fair maidens to their lair!

  Shocked and horrified by the wanton bloodlust, the band of society soldiers felt a surge of vengeance, affording them an energy and ferocity heretofore unseen in ladies and gentlemen.

  The warriors of Highbury attacked. Emma and the five gentlemen each lunged towards one of the groups of vampires.

  With dazzling speed and expert swordsmanship, the warriors hacked and lopped and sliced and whacked. Heads bounded and rolled like lawn bowling pins. Torsos crumpled and collapsed to the ground. Harriet fairly ran from one fallen body to another, a wooden stake in each hand, finishing the vampires off with plunging stabs to the heart.

  Within mere minutes, the vampires were vanquished. The scene of devastation was beyond comprehension. Alas, none of the fair young maidens could be saved. All six had been lost.

  Emma, Harriet, and the other soldiers were the only souls standing. All the other creatures lay on the ground, dead.

  With a heavy heart but a proud sense of victory, Mr. George Knightley announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, we have rid our dear Highbury of the vampire menace!”

  Cheers rose up from among the gentle warriors. Though covered with blood, drenched with aristocratic sweat, and drained of all energy, they were relieved and grateful.

  Dragging their blood-stained sabres behind them, the soldiers began a retreat back towards the hedge whence they came.

  Suddenly, there rose up a chorus of shrieks that echoed through the forest and chilled the spines of the Highbury warriors.

  Then, leaping from the dense trees surrounding the clearing, came at least eighty more feral creatures! Snapping and snatching and baring their fangs and claws, they descended upon the noble fighters.

  The weary band of warriors turned to face them and began again, lopping off heads and piercing torsos with wooden stakes.

  But soon it became apparent that Emma, George, and the others would be overwhelmed.

  “I don’t think we can hold them!” cried Emma, as her arms became heavy with the weight of her sabre.

  “We must, dear Emma! We cannot fail now!” returned her betrothed, though Mr. Knightley’s voice betrayed a hint of doom. A sudden horrible thought flashed through his mind—how could he continue to exist through the centuries to come without dear Emma by his side?

  All seemed lost. The vicious unnaturals were closing in fast. It would only be a matter of seconds before the Highbury warriors would be defeated.

  “Fear not!” exclaimed a woman’s voice coming through the hedge. “We are here!”

  Mrs. Goddard and her train of fourteen fair young maidens, all wielding sabres and wooden stakes, charged into the clearing.

  “Upon my word!” cried Emma.

  “Mrs. Goddard!” exclaimed Harriet. “Thank God you’re here!”

  “Kill the bastards!” shrieked Mrs. Goddard, and the young ladies, seeking vengeance for the terrible fate of their classmates, with untrained, but ferocious swipes of their sabres beheaded one vampire after another until all the creatures were fallen. Then they drove their wooden stakes into the hearts of the monsters, finishing them off.

  In a very short time, all was quiet. The victorious band of heroes and heroines breathed a collective sigh of relief and utter exhaustion and slowly made their way back to Highbury.

  Chapter 50

  That night in bed, Emma had great difficulty falling asleep. Her nerves were still much frayed from the vicious battle, and, with her engagement to Mr. Knightley set, her thoughts now turned to her father and Harriet.

  With respect to her father, she knew she could never marry and leave Mr. Woodhouse alone at Hartfield while he was alive. Mr. Knightley must agree to a prolonged engagement.

  How to do her best by Harriet was a more difficult decision—how to spare her from any unnecessary pain. She concluded that it would be desirable to ask Isabella to invite Harriet to London for a few weeks. A separation would avert the evil day when Harriet must learn that Mr. Knightley could not belong to her.

  Emma rose early and wrote her letter to Harriet—a duty which left her very sad.

  But Mr. Knightley arrived at Hartfield to watch Emma eat breakfast, and soon her happiness was restored. They rejoiced for the peace and tranquillity that had already settled upon Highbury after last night’s victory as well as the expectation of the joy of a life together.

  After he left, Emma received a packet from the Westons. It contained a letter from Frank Churchill which Mrs. Weston had forwarded to Emma.

  Emma read the letter slowly and carefully. Frank Churchill began by explaining his actions concerning Jane Fairfax and begging the forgiveness of those actions by Mr. and Mrs. Weston.

  His letter continued with a reference to Emma: “With the greatest respect, the warmest friendship, and the deepest humiliation, do I mention Miss Woodhouse. In order to conceal my engagement to Miss Fairfax, I made Miss Woodhouse my object of affection. But I was convinced that she was not attracted to me, and we seemed to understand each other. I believed she already knew of my attachment to Miss Fairfax because she received my attentions with an easy, friendly, good-humoured playfulness. I beg her forgiveness for leading her astray.”

  He admitted that he had hurt Jane by showing affection towards Emma, and for that he was truly ashamed.

  Frank Churchill then revealed that he sent Jane Fairfax the pianoforte anonymously because she would never have accepted the gift if she knew he gave it.

  He explained that he and Jane had had a terrible argument the day of the excursion to Donwell Abbey. He stormed off to Richmond, and s
he accepted the governess position, sending him a letter ending the engagement.

  Fearful of losing her, Frank informed his uncle Mr. Churchill of his attachment to Miss Fairfax, secured the old man’s blessing, then returned to Highbury. Though Miss Fairfax was quite ill, he made his true feelings of love known to her, and she agreed once more to marry him.

  Chapter 51

  Frank Churchill’s letter touched Emma’s feelings. She saw his suffering and sorrow and how much in love he was with Miss Fairfax. Emma could not judge him severely.

  She thought so well of the letter that, when Mr. Knightley came again, she desired him to read it.

  “I shall be very glad to look it over,” said he. He began to read, stopping here and there, furrowing his brow, his black eyes glowing, and saying, “humph!” several times; and Emma saw from the expression on his face that Mr. Knightley was silently critical of Frank Churchill.

  When he came to the part about Miss Woodhouse, Mr. Knightley read it aloud—with a smile, a look, a shake of the head, and a word or two of assent or disapproval or merely of love, as the subject required. He concluded, however, seriously and after steady reflection, “Very bad—though it might have been worse. Playing a most dangerous game; respecting no one’s wishes but his own. His own mind full of deceit and suspecting it in others. My dear Emma, his actions prove more and more the beauty of truth and sincerity in all our dealings with each other. I do, however, commend him for his valour last evening. He rose considerably in my estimation.”

  After this, he made some progress reading the letter without any pause. Frank Churchill’s confession of having behaved shamefully was the first thing to call for more than a word in passing.

  “I perfectly agree with you, sir,” was his remark. “You did behave very shamefully. You never wrote a truer line.”

  Emma knew that he was now getting to the Box Hill party and grew uncomfortable. Her own behaviour had been so very improper! She was deeply ashamed and a little afraid of his next look. It was all read, however, without the smallest remark except one momentary glance at her, instantly withdrawn, in the fear of giving her pain.

  Mr. Knightley finished the letter. “Well, there is feeling here. He does seem to have suffered. Certainly, I can have no doubt of his being fond of Miss Fairfax. I trust he may long continue to feel the value of such a marriage.”

  “You do not appear so well satisfied with his letter as I am, but at least I trust you must think the better of him for it.”

  “Yes, I certainly do. He has had great faults of inconsideration and thoughtlessness, and I think he is likely to be happier than he deserves. But I am ready to believe his character will improve and acquire from hers the steadiness that it needs.” He thought to himself that Jane would make a fitting vampiress for Mr. Churchill. Certainly, her pale skin could not grow any paler. But at least her new red eyes would give her some much-needed colour.

  Mr. Knightley handed the letter back to Emma then said, “And now, let me talk to you of something else. Ever since I left you this morning, Emma, my mind has been hard at work on one subject.”

  The subject was in plain, unaffected, gentlemanlike English, such as Mr. Knightley used even to the woman he was in love with—how to ask her to marry him without attacking the happiness of her father.

  Emma’s answer was ready at the first word: “While my dear father lives, marriage would be impossible for me. I could never leave him.”

  Mr. Knightley felt just as strongly as Emma about staying with her father. He had been thinking it over most deeply, most intently. He proposed that he should move to Hartfield. As long as her father’s happiness required Emma to remain at Hartfield, Mr. Knightley should do likewise.

  Emma felt that, in leaving Donwell Abbey, he would sacrifice a great deal of independence. She promised to consider it; but he was fully convinced, and nothing could change his opinion on the subject. The more she thought about his plan of marrying and living at Hartfield, the more pleasing it became.

  Emma reflected on poor Harriet. In time, of course, Mr. Knightley would be replaced in her affections. But it would not be as easy as forgetting Mr. Elton—and those thrilling shocks with his every touch. Mr. Knightley was so kind, so feeling, so truly considerate of everybody.

  It really was too much to hope, even for Harriet, that she could be in love with more than three men in one year.

  Chapter 52

  Emma arranged with her sister Isabella to invite Harriet for two weeks to London, on the pretence that Miss Smith needed to see a dentist. Harriet was eager to leave, and Emma was relieved to avoid a meeting with her. And so, Harriet left for London.

  Now Emma could enjoy Mr. Knightley’s visits. Now she could talk and listen with true happiness, unchecked by that sense of injustice, of guilt, of something most painful which haunted her when she remembered how disappointed Harriet was.

  Emma had only one unfinished task—to tell her father about her engagement. But she would not proceed with that just yet. She had decided to delay the news till Mrs. Weston was safe and well after the birth of her child.

  She soon decided, both as a duty and a pleasure, to call on Miss Fairfax. She ought to go, and she was longing to see her.

  ***

  Emma went, still fearful of being unwelcome. But she was met on the stairs by Jane herself, coming eagerly forward. Emma had never seen her look so well, so lovely, and so engaging.

  There was animation and warmth; she came forward with an offered hand and said in a very feeling tone, “This is most kind, indeed! Miss Woodhouse, it is impossible for me to express—I trust you will believe—excuse me for being so entirely without words.”

  Emma was grateful and would have spoken, but she heard the sound of Mrs. Elton’s voice from the sitting room. So Emma simply gave Jane a very sincere handshake. Emma wished Mrs. Elton had not been there, but the woman greeted Emma with unusual graciousness, even thanking Emma for her part in ridding Highbury of the wild vampires.

  Mrs. Elton folded up a letter she had been reading to Jane. “We can finish this some other time. I only wanted you to know that Mrs. S. is not offended that you will not be going. But not a word more!”

  Emma smiled to herself because Mrs. Elton was unaware that Emma knew of the governess position that was no more.

  Mrs. Elton began to chatter: “Do you not think, Miss Woodhouse, our saucy little friend here is charmingly recovered? Oh! If you had seen her, as I did, when she was at the worst! I have scarcely had the pleasure of seeing you, Miss Woodhouse, since the party to Box Hill—very pleasant party. But yet there seemed a little cloud upon the spirits of some. We should go again—quite the same party.”

  Soon after this, Miss Bates came in, and Emma was diverted by her rush of words. “Thank you, dear Miss Woodhouse, you are all kindness to visit. Yes, indeed, dearest Jane is charmingly recovered. And thank you, again as well, for your noble vanquishment of the vicious unnaturals that for so long preyed upon our dear little village!”

  Mr. Elton then made his appearance. He was hot and tired and, after paying his respects to the ladies and again thanking Emma for her courage in the famous battle, complained about the heat he suffered from his long walk to visit Mr. Knightley.

  “When I got to Donwell Abbey,” said he, “Knightley could not be found. Very odd! After the note I sent him this morning and the message he returned that he should certainly be at home till one. Such a dreadful broiling morning! Miss Woodhouse, this is not like our friend Knightley! Can you explain it?”

  Emma amused herself by complaining that it was very extraordinary, indeed. She had a feeling that Mr. Knightley was waiting for her at Hartfield.

  Emma excused herself and was pleased upon leaving to find Jane Fairfax accompanying her downstairs, giving Emma a chance to have some time alone with her.

  “Oh! Miss Woodhouse,” cried Jane, with a blush, “in view of m
y awful behaviour towards you, I am pleased you are not disgusted with me. I want to make my sincere apology to you—”

  “You owe me no apology,” cried Emma warmly, taking her hand.

  “You are very kind, but I know what my manners were to you—so cold and artificial! It was a life of deceit! I know that I must have disgusted you.”

  “Pray say no more. I feel that all the apologies should be on my side. Let us forgive each other at once.”

  She thought a moment then said, “I would suppose you will be leaving Highbury, just when we are becoming true friends?”

  “You are very right. After three months we shall move to Enscombe, where I shall live with my new husband and his uncle.”

  “How wonderful,” said Emma. “I am so happy for you. I am so happy that everything is settled and decided. Goodbye, dear Jane, goodbye.”

  Chapter 53

  Mrs. Weston became the mother of a baby vampire girl named Anna, which pleased Emma greatly. Not because she hoped in future years to match the girl with one of Isabella’s sons, but because a girl would be a great comfort to Mr. Weston as he grew older. And Mrs. Weston, being such a wonderful teacher, would be an excellent mother.

  “Mrs. Weston has had the advantage, you know, of practising on me,” said Emma.

  “Mrs. Weston,” replied Mr. Knightley, “will surely spoil the child even more than she did you.”

  “Poor child!” cried Emma. “What will become of her?”

  “Nothing very bad. She will be disagreeable in infancy and correct herself as she grows older. I am losing all my bitterness against spoiled children, my dearest Emma.”

  Emma laughed and replied, “But I had your assistance to counteract the indulgence of other people. I doubt whether my own sense would have corrected me without it.”

 

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