“We all thought so,” her mother said, coming alongside. “Hannah says he’s the spitting image of Robert.”
Jessica nodded. “Yes, I think she’s right.”
The baby started to fuss, and Jessica feared she’d done something wrong. She looked to her mother with a questioning expression. Alice stepped in just then and took Wills.
“He’s just hungry. I hope you don’t mind if I take a few moments to feed him.” She said it more to the group than to Jessica.
Free of the baby, Jessica hurried away from the gathering and sought the solitude of her room. The women might talk about her abrupt departure, but unlike times before, Jessica didn’t care.
“Let them talk,” she said, pacing her bedroom floor. “Those old biddies are always gossiping about someone. It doesn’t need to ruin my day. If they have nothing better to do than pick apart my actions, then so be it.”
She plopped down on the carefully made bed and sighed. She didn’t like people thinking poorly of her. She wanted them to like her, to desire her company. She wanted them to be impressed with her knowledge and abilities. Folks felt that way about her mother and her aunt, and it was only natural that Jessica should want the same.
“Is that just more of my self-centered ways?” she asked aloud. “Worrying about what people think of me?”
She looked around her room and couldn’t help remembering Lee’s earlier comment. This was the room of a princess. From her feather mattress and beautifully crafted canopy bed swathed in pink tulle to the wardrobe filled with expensive, intricately designed gowns, Jessica was living the life of royalty. At least Texas royalty.
“But does that have to be bad?” she asked the empty room. “Is it wrong to enjoy fine things?”
Getting to her feet, Jessica crossed to the window, where new drapes of the finest damask had been placed only the week before. She had told her mother how tiresome the other drapery had become, and her mother had arranged for replacements. Toying with the fringed edges of the cream-and-gold material, Jessica knew that it had been an additional expense that could have been better spent. There had been nothing wrong with the other curtains. In fact, Mother had placed them in one of the other bedrooms.
Jessica turned and spied her reflection in the mirror. Soft brown curls had been carefully arranged atop her head. They spilled down the back to just cover her neck. She wore a gown of sheer white muslin with a lining of pale pink silk. Six-inch-wide lace in a V shape gave the bodice a narrowing appearance and made Jessica’s waist appear even smaller than it was. And with the full leg-o’-mutton lace sleeves, the gown seemed most ethereal—fairy-tale like. She always received compliments when she wore it.
Jessica touched a finger to the glass. Was that all there was to her? Was she just a pretty bauble designed to turn heads and fascinate suitors? Nothing more than a storybook princess?
She glanced back at the door to her room. Just on the other side and downstairs, a collection of women gathered. Women who had husbands and children, whose lives meant something, who had people who loved them.
“What do I have? What do I offer? Robert married Alice rather than be saddled with me.”
Knowing in her heart that Robert and Alice genuinely loved each other didn’t ease her momentary self-ridicule.
“Of course Robert would marry someone sweet and quiet like Alice. Even with her scarred face. I say what I think, and often I’m loud and insist on my own way. No one wants those qualities in a wife.”
She sat down once again, this time at her dressing table. Yet another mirror reflected her pensive countenance. Picking up one of a dozen ornamental hatpins, she studied it a moment, then stuck it in a pin cushion. One by one she did the same for the others. The action seemed to calm her.
Maybe I should marry someone like Lee. Maybe that’s what I deserve—a loveless marriage to a poor man.
A light knock sounded on her door. “Come in.” She leaned back as her mother entered the room.
“Are you feeling all right?”
“Physically? Yes, I’m fine. Emotionally? I’m not sure.”
Mother smiled sympathetically, and Jessica vacillated between wanting to scream at the implied pity and needing her mother’s embrace.
“Is this about Alice and the baby?”
“I don’t know. I think it’s about everything. I’m starting to see some things about myself and my life that I don’t really like. Things that need to be improved.”
“Nonsense. You are perfect the way you are. Don’t fret. One day the right man will come into your life, and he will sweep you off your feet and become the love of your life.” Mother’s expression became quite soft. “I know, because it happened that way for me. I thought I knew love with my first husband. Soon enough I learned there was no love between us. After he died, I was certain I would never find true love. Then your father came into my life, and everything
changed.”
Jessica knew her mother was trying to help, but her words rang hollow. “Everyone has things about them that need changing,” she said in a barely audible voice.
“I suppose that’s true; however, I know that you have a good heart and a wonderful nature. I don’t want you thinking yourself hopeless or without value because Robert married another.” Mother patted her shoulder. “You are my daughter, my baby. You have great value in my eyes and in those of your father. But more important, you have great value in the eyes of God. Remember that.”
Jessica nodded, but the words didn’t help. She hadn’t been as focused on God and spiritual matters as she knew her parents wished. Religiosity and showing up for the Sunday pew warming seemed more hypocritical than spiritual, and Jessica found reading the Bible to be a bore. She looked in the mirror and found her mother looking at her with an expression that suggested she wanted to hear her daughter affirm her willingness.
“I’ll try to remember it, Mother. I’ll try.”
“Good. Now why don’t you come downstairs and rejoin us. There are only a few people still here, and Hannah has taken Alice and the baby home. It shouldn’t be so painful for you now.”
Jessica gave a heavy sigh. Mother simply didn’t understand. Apparently, no one did.
Chapter 2
Sunday brought cooler temperatures, which was unusual for Texas at this time of the year. Nevertheless, Austin Todd had taken advantage of the less oppressive afternoon to snag a much-needed nap.
He’d barely closed his eyes, however, when he found himself caught up in the age-old nightmare. Why could he not lay the past to rest? Would he always be haunted by the ghosts of those he’d failed?
So many people had counted on him, and he’d let them down. The nightmare only served to remind him of their disappointment in him. Austin tossed restlessly atop his narrow bed as images of his brother, mother, and father passed before his eyes. His brother looked at him with the same stunned expression Austin had last seen on his face. Mother and Father fixed Austin with looks of disapproval and accusation.
And then there was Grace.
Austin awoke with a start. Soaked in sweat, he all but jumped from the bed as though it were afire. With hands trembling, he reached for the pitcher of water. He poured the tepid liquid onto a cloth and wiped his face. Why couldn’t the past just die?
He replaced the pitcher and threw down the cloth, not caring where it landed. Stalking from the room, Austin fought against a lifetime of regret and unmistakable feelings of failure, especially when it came to family relationships.
Outside, Austin leaned his lanky frame against the house’s front wall and breathed in deeply of the air. It was nearly evening and a new week would soon begin. He had obligations in Dallas on Monday and had no idea how long he would have to remain. As a cattle inspector—part of the Texas Rangers—Austin kept busy upholding law and order on the range.
It was a world of difference from his previous job in Washington, D.C., a job he’d shared with his brother, Houston, until that fateful night nearly six years ag
o. A picture of his brother’s face came to mind. With laughing eyes, a strong jaw, and a perfect smile, Houston was three years Austin’s junior. The brothers had been inseparable, even going into the same career of working for the Treasury Department’s Secret Service.
They had worked side by side, feeling they knew each other’s moods and moves better than anyone else ever would. Their job entailed ferreting out counterfeiters—something they did quite well. Austin had a keen nose for the business. Often with nothing more than the tiniest hunch, he had been able to expose criminals and put an end to their plots. Once, he’d even thwarted an attack on a top government official. Houston had teased him unmercifully when their boss had presented Austin with an award meriting his service.
“Your head will swell too big for you to get out the door,” Houston had said. He joked about the matter but clearly was proud of his older brother. His parents had been proud, too. At least until that dreadful night when Austin killed his brother.
“Be sure and tell Austin that he can eat with us anytime he likes,” Robert Barnett’s mother announced as he made plans to ride over to the small cabin where the Texas Ranger lived. “He certainly doesn’t need to wait for an invitation.”
Robert glanced to where his mother sat happily holding his son. Alice was getting a much-needed rest while baby William’s grandmother fussed over him. “I’ll tell him again, Mother, but I can’t force the man to eat with us.”
“Well, at least take him some sugar cookies. Rosita made a fresh batch yesterday.”
“I’ll do that,” Robert promised. He lost no time in getting to the kitchen, lest his mother stop him again. He wrapped a dozen or so cookies in a dish towel and made his way out the back door, munching on one of the treats as he went.
Manuel already had Robert’s horse saddled and ready to go. The sorrel seemed happy to see his master and bobbed his head up and down at Robert’s approach. As soon as the horse realized there was food involved, he made certain to get part of it. Robert allowed the animal a piece of cookie then finished it off himself. He tucked the bundled cookies into his saddlebag, then took the reins from Manuel and mounted.
“Gracias, Manuel.”
The fourteen-year-old boy smiled and nodded. A younger brother to one of the ranch’s cowboys, Manuel had proven himself a hard worker. Robert gave him a quick nod, then urged the horse into a trot.
The Barnett property had grown considerably over the years, and while it was no rival to the King Ranch in South Texas, it was garnering attention in its own right for quality livestock and trustworthy dealings. Robert was proud to bear the name Barnett. Prouder still that he could follow in his father’s footsteps.
The ride to Austin Todd’s cabin was several miles. Perched on the edge of what had formerly been Barnett land, the small house was perfectly suited for one man. Austin seemed to appreciate the solitude, but Robert wasn’t sure that he would have much positive to say about the news he was bringing today.
When the cabin finally came in sight, Robert paused to wipe his brow and offer up a prayer. “Lord, you know what I’m here to say. Help me to say it right and for Austin to receive it well. Amen.”
Robert caught sight of Austin chopping wood and gave a wave. Reaching the house, Robert quickly tied off his horse and made his way to where Austin continued to work.
“I see you’re taking advantage of the cooler weather.”
Austin looked up and gave a brief nod. “I figured it was a good time to stock up a little. I appreciated your pa havin’ that dead tree dragged here for me. I’ve been whittling away on it.” He motioned to the stack of leafless limbs. “I try to trim off a little every night I’m home.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Robert declared. “I was hopin’, though, that we could have a little talk. My pa sent me.”
“Problems?” Austin asked, setting the ax aside.
“No, not really. You’re invited, in fact, to a gathering at our place. Night after next.”
“Not sure I’ll be back from Dallas. What’s the occasion?”
Robert smiled. “Well, you know my pa wants to get a railroad spur built out here.”
“He wants to start a whole town, as I recall.”
“Well, he figures if there’s a spur for the ranchers to use, the town will just form naturally. Because of that, he wants some say in how it comes about.”
“You can’t have any real control over that,” Austin said, looking uncertain.
“Well, he figures he can control it to a point. After all, he owns the land he intends for the railroad to build on and where the spur will end. Of course, it crosses Atherton land, too, but they are supportive of the cause.”
“Doesn’t it seem kinda unnecessary to bring in the railroad? I mean, it isn’t that far to drive the cattle over to Cedar Springs.”
“It takes more time and manpower than you’d think. It’s also getting harder to do, what with everyone fencing off. Pa thinks this is a good solution for several reasons. He wants to be able to get supplies quickly. If a store or two and maybe a bank could be situated in the new town, it would really benefit the community. Not to mention the idea of having a church and a school for the area people. It’d be real nice not to have to drive all the way into Cedar Springs for Sunday service.”
“Won’t it still take quite a bit of time for other folks anyway? After all, your pa owns a lot of acreage.”
“Yes, but he’s willing to allow others to cross his property. Not only that, but his plans for the town are on the main road, where his property abuts that of others. It’ll be a good place for a town. There’s water, the most important thing, and if the railroad will agree to Pa’s terms, that will be the second most important accomplishment.”
“I’m still not sure I’d like to see that happen. Towns always mean drinking and gambling. Pretty soon you have brothels and opium dens and folks getting killed or killing for what they want.”
“That’s why Pa wants to keep a tight rein on things. He wants to approve the businesses that go in. He doesn’t intend for there to be any kind of opportunity for riffraff.”
“It’s been my experience,” Austin mused, “that riffraff makes its own kind of opportunity.”
Robert nodded. “I know you’re right, but I also know my father’s concept for this. He’s always been a man of vision, and I think we can trust him to know best on this.”
For a moment Austin said nothing, and Robert wondered if he’d pushed too hard. “Also, my mother wants you to know that there’s no need to wait for an invitation to share our meals. You’re always welcome, so don’t go hungry.”
Still Austin didn’t reply. He stared out at the horizon as if contemplating what he would say. After another minute he turned back to Robert. “I like the solitude here. It’s one of the reasons I bought the place. It’s peaceful.”
“Well, maybe it seems that way even more, given you’re a lawman.” Robert couldn’t help but grin. “I have to say it’s been a real comfort to Pa and me to know there’s law close by.”
Austin shrugged. “I’m a cattle inspector, not really a law officer. Not in the sense you mean.”
“You’re a Texas Ranger, and that makes you qualified in my eyes.”
“Well, maybe that’s why this whole thing bothers me. I know how it is when folks get together. There’s always someone who wants to take what someone else has. I’m tellin’ you from experience that it opens a whole new box of troubles.”
“I understand your concerns. Have you always been a lawman?”
Austin gave a curt nod. “It’s pretty much all I’ve ever known. Even before moving to Texas I was involved in . . . law enforcement.”
“So what brought you to Texas?” Robert asked. “Where’d you come from?”
He saw Austin stiffen. “Not important. Heard this was a good place to live, so I came.” He picked up the ax. “Tell your ma I said thanks for the invite. I’m sure to take her up on the offer, especially when it gets colder.”
>
Robert thought it strange the way Austin had become almost uncomfortable. His stance suggested that he was keeping something hidden, but the rancher couldn’t imagine what that would be or why Austin might feel the need.
Making his way back to the sorrel, Robert started to mount, then remembered the cookies. He pulled the bundle from his saddlebag and glanced back to where Austin was already hard at work swinging the ax.
“I almost forgot. Ma sent you some cookies.” He held up the bundle as Austin took note. The latter crossed the yard to take the offering with a smile.
“Tell your mother I said thanks.”
“I’ll do that, but seems you could tell her yourself if you’d join us for dinner now and then. I know it would please her—she likes motherin’ folks. Especially those who don’t have any family around.” Robert mounted his horse and could see that once again Austin had grown rather sullen. It seemed there was a lot about this man he didn’t know. Maybe no one knew his secrets.
“A gathering for what purpose?” Jessica asked her parents over dinner.
“William Barnett and your father have been working with some of the other ranchers to bring in the railroad. Now that they have an idea of this happening, they want to discuss what is needed and how to go about setting up a community,” Mother replied. She passed Jessica a bowl of ham and cabbage.
Taking a portion of the food, Jessica handed the bowl to her father before asking, “Why do I have to be there?”
“It’s for the entire community,” he said in a rather stern voice. “You’re a part of that.”
“But no one really cares what I think about the idea.” Jessica picked up a cornmeal muffin and broke off a piece. “I’m not married, I don’t own any land, and I’m a woman. So I have no say over what happens.”
“Your father and Mr. Barnett are good to listen to the hearts of everyone—especially the womenfolk of this area. One of your father’s thoughts is to get a doctor in this new community and pay him a regular stipend.”
A Matter of Heart Page 2