“Thanks, Mr. Atherton. I’m obliged.” He tipped his hat at the older man, then again toward Austin Todd. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Todd. I’ll look forward to seeing you in the future.”
But hopefully not sitting in church beside the woman I intend to marry.
Chapter 11
Jessica placed a china plate on the dining room table, then went to the silverware drawer. The day’s work had left her feeling sluggish. She moved in slow, purposeful steps, as if each one needed to be thought out. Reaching the sideboard, she took up place settings for herself, Mother, and Father and put them around the table beside the plates.
“Jess, you’d better set another place. I see your father has brought Austin Todd back with him.”
Her heart fluttered a little bit, and Jessica felt a burst of energy. She rushed to the mirror that graced the dining room wall above the sideboard and frowned. She looked so worn—tired, really. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her head was starting to hurt. She glanced down at her dress. It bore spots of pumpkin and flour.
Maybe I should go change my clothes. I don’t want to appear shabby and unkempt when Austin sees me.
Immediately, Jessica stopped fussing and frowned. Why am I so concerned about my appearance? It was just one more reminder of her self-centered ways. It was painful to remember the many times when looking beautiful to impress someone had been her only thought. The guilt made her feel ill.
As penance, Jessica decided to remain as she was. She had spent most of her life primping and making certain that she wore the perfect outfit. It needed to stop. It was one thing to be concerned with looking presentable and dressing appropriately for the occasion, and quite another to do so for the sake of impressing others or, worse yet, making others feel inferior.
She lifted her chin and reached down to the sideboard to take up more silver and china. By the time her father entered the house with Austin, food graced the table and everything was ready.
Austin offered Jessica a smile when he and Father entered the dining room. “Your pa thought I needed a meal,” he said and shrugged. “Who was I to turn down good food?”
“How do you know it’s good?” Jessica teased.
Her father laughed and spoke before Austin could recover from his surprise. “Anything your mother makes turns out perfect. The fact that she still likes to have a hand in the kitchen, though she has hired help, always amazes me.” He looked to Austin. “When I first met Mrs. Atherton, she was not as accomplished as she is now. She was rather spoiled and selective in what she would and wouldn’t do. Her sister took her in hand, however, and taught her how to cook and clean.”
“I can do more than that,” Mother announced, bringing in the bread plate. She placed it on the table to reveal pumpkin bread.
“That she can.” Father took hold of Mother and kissed her soundly. He held her for a few moments after the kiss ended. They were still very much in love. Jessica watched as her father helped Mother into her chair, then took his own place. He was a true gentleman.
To her surprise, Austin pulled Jessica’s chair out for her and waited to seat her before taking his place. Jessica thanked him, barely able to say another word. Father offered a prayer and then began to help himself to the fried ham steaks. The other dishes were passed, and the men seemed in particular awe of the pumpkin bread.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had anything like this before,” Austin commented, taking another piece only after Jessica’s father did. He slathered it with freshly churned butter and bit into it with a look of pleasure on his face.
Jessica found she wasn’t all that hungry. She tried to keep up with the conversation, but she felt so tired and her head throbbed. They had worked hard that day, canning pumpkin and pressing clothes for Sunday. Then too, it had been very hot. Apparently it had taken more of a toll than Jessica realized. She poked at her food and hoped no one would see that she wasn’t actually eating.
Father and Austin discussed the new town and their ideas for bringing in businesses. Even Mother added her thoughts regarding the church and school. She mentioned that Jake Wythe had a friend named Rob Vandermark who was a pastor looking for a church. His wife was an accomplished teacher. Mother thought they should write to him right away. If they could secure a schoolteacher and a preacher in one letter, they would be well ahead of the game. Father agreed and promised to speak with Jake.
“Are you planning to attend the party on Saturday?” Mother asked, perking Jessica’s attention.
“I doubt it. When folks set to partying, that’s usually the time rustlers get busy. I’ll just keep an eye out, and you folks can have yourselves a nice time,” Austin replied.
“I think Will wants you to be there. He’s going to say a few words about the new town and the rail line, and he wants to introduce you as the new law for the town. I wouldn’t be surprised, too, if folks will want to talk to you about the rustling.”
“Well,” Austin said thoughtfully, “I could probably come by for a little while and then head out to look for rustlers.”
Mother offered him more coffee as he downed the first cup. He gave her a quick nod and waited while she poured it from a silver pot. Jessica felt as if her body were leaden. She was clearly coming down with something. A wave of dizziness caused her to drop her fork and take hold of the table. Mother immediately noticed her condition.
“Jess? Don’t you feel well?” Mother reached out to touch her head. “You have a fever.” She got to her feet and helped Jessica to hers. “If you’ll excuse us, I’m going to put Jessica to bed. I think she’s managed to catch something.”
Austin was on his feet. “Is there anything I can do to help? I could carry her.”
Jessica closed her eyes even as Mother assured him she could manage. Feeling as she did, Jessica almost wished her mother would have let him assist. She wasn’t at all sure she could make it to her bedroom upstairs.
“I’m so sorry, Mother. I haven’t felt like myself all day. I thought I was just tired.”
“Well, it’s clear that you’ve taken sick. I’m not at all sure what the problem might be, but we’ll get you to bed and then see what you feel like tomorrow.”
Letting her mother take charge, Jessica was relieved when Mother finally managed to get her upstairs and settled on the bed.
“Let me undo the buttons on your dress,” Mother said, reaching out to Jessica’s collar. She unfastened the bodice and pushed it down to the waist. Careful to keep Jessica from collapsing, Mother managed to pull her to her feet so the gown and petticoat could slip to the floor.
Jessica’s head throbbed all the more, and she longed for the comfort of her bed. She turned to climb in, but Mother stopped her again. “Let me unlace your corset and get that off, as well. You can sleep in your shift, if you’d like, but you’d probably feel better in a nightgown.” She made quick work of the corset and eased Jessica onto the bed.
“Thank you,” Jessica whispered. “I’m sorry to be so much trouble.”
“You aren’t trouble. You’re my daughter and I want to see you through this. Now stay here,” she said, pulling the covers over Jessica’s body. “I’ll be right back with some medicine.”
Jessica wasn’t about to go anywhere. She could scarcely settle the covers comfortably around her. Every muscle, every fiber of her being longed to be still. She thought of Austin downstairs. So close but so distant. He was a strange man—mysterious, quiet. She couldn’t help but wonder at his past. Maybe Father could tell her more.
Mother returned and helped Jessica sit up a bit to take a spoonful of a nasty tasting liquid. “This will help you sleep.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Jessica replied.
“It will help with the fever, as well.” Mother eased her back onto the mattress, and Jessica closed her eyes. “I’ll check on you in a little while.”
The sickness didn’t lose its grip on Jessica until sometime in the night on Wednesday of the following week. Her fever finally
broke after her mother had tried both to sweat and freeze it out of Jessica. The illness left Jessica almost more tired than she’d felt when this had all started. She got her first restful sleep in the wee hours of the morning and slept through until late Thursday afternoon. When she awoke she found Mother by her side.
“Are you feeling better?” Mother asked. She touched Jessica’s head ever so gently. “Your fever is gone. You should start to feel much better.”
“What was wrong with me?” Jessica asked, her voice weak and throat dry.
“The grippe or ague I suppose—I’m really not completely certain. You were delirious for a time and shivering, so I thought for sure it was ague. But then you started heaving, and I thought perhaps it was grippe. Either way, your fever was high and I feared it might cause harm to your brain.”
Jessica sighed and closed her eyes. “May I have some water?”
“Of course. I have a glass right here. I’ve been trying to keep liquids down you since you fell ill.”
Taking Jessica in her arms, Mother helped her to sit up long enough to take a drink. Jessica shook her head as Mother helped her to lie back. “I don’t remember hardly anything after you helped me to bed.”
“I’m not surprised.” Mother got to her feet. “You rest and I’ll fix some chicken broth for you.”
The rest of the day Jessica focused on taking in fluids as her mother insisted. By night she felt a little better, and by Friday morning Jessica was able to sit up and not feel as though she might break in half.
She’d had a long time to ponder her life while recovering. Images of the past came to life to remind Jessica that she had often handled people harshly, without care for their feelings. She didn’t like the girl she’d been, yet back then Jessica had seen nothing wrong in her actions. When her mother came in to check on her, Jessica posed a question.
“Mother, do you think I’m selfish?”
Her mother looked at her as if she’d posed a difficult mathematics problem. “What is this all about?” Mother asked.
Jessica pressed the question again. “Do you think I’m selfish?” Jessica looked at her hands and smoothed the covers. She was almost afraid to meet her mother’s gaze. “Have I always been self-centered and more concerned about myself than others?”
“I wouldn’t exactly say that. You’ve had your moments, but everyone does.”
“But people think me to be shallow. You and Father even think me that way.”
Mother actually laughed at this. She came and sat down beside Jessica and took hold of her fidgeting hands. “Hardly that. You are anything but shallow. In fact, you are by far and away my most complex child.”
“How so? Was I that difficult?”
“You misunderstand me. You are rather like an onion with many, many layers. Each time one layer is pulled away, another appears. I’ve seen layers of your heart and mind stripped away over the years, but always there’s another layer, and no one has ever yet reached the core of who you really are.”
“And how does that happen?” Jessica felt perplexed by her mother’s statement. “Is there something I can do?”
Mother shook her head. “Not in total. It’s partly a matter of what other people think, but mostly it’s how you stand in the eyes of God.”
“I didn’t used to care what people thought,” Jessica said. “At least I told myself that. In truth, I really cared too much. I wanted to be the prettiest and the most fashionable girl. I wanted others to envy me—to wish they were me. I only cared about me,” she confessed. “And now . . .”
“And now?” Mother asked in a gentle manner.
Jessica shook her head and looked across the room at the armoire that was filled with beautiful clothes. “I’m ashamed. I want to change, but I fear people will always believe me to be that same selfish girl. Even you and Papa tease me about caring for new gowns and other beautiful things. I overheard Papa once telling one of my beaus that the way to win my heart was with pretty doodads and plenty of attention, or something like that. First it made me angry, and then it broke my heart.”
Mother tenderly stroked Jessica’s hand. “Darling, you can change your ways, but people who’ve been impressed by them or fallen victim to them will need time to believe the change is real. You can start living your life in a way that will prove your heart has changed, and soon folks will come around. Take it to God and He will direct you.”
Jessica bowed her head. “I’m afraid I’ve not concerned myself much with God. I doubt He’d even listen to me.”
“Well, that seems to be the crux of your problem. Without God you are stuck making decisions on your own. And, Jessica, that’s a very lonely place to be—troublesome, too. You’ve put God off for a long while. Why not try turning this concern over to Him. I think you’ll be surprised by His answers.”
“Maybe,” Jessica admitted. After all, she hadn’t yet tried that.
Mother smiled. “Where’s your Bible?”
Jessica pointed to the chest of drawers. “In the top drawer.”
Crossing the room, her mother found the Bible and brought it back to Jessica. “You might want to read this and pray. I find that reading God’s Word and praying always brings me understanding.” Mother turned. “I’m going to go prepare something for you to eat. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Your father ran into Mr. Gable and told him you were recovering from illness and wouldn’t be able to attend the harvest party.”
“But I might be strong enough by then,” Jessica argued. She didn’t want to miss getting to know Harrison Gable better.
“No. That’s too soon. You are in no condition to get out of bed, much less take a long ride into town and participate in a large outdoor event. Now, try reading, and I’ll bring you a little broth and a few crackers.”
Disappointment settled upon her, and Jessica could only sigh for what might have been. I hope this doesn’t cause Harrison—Mr. Gable—to lose interest in me. After all, he might fear me to be a weak and sickly woman. But even as she thought this, her gaze fell on the Bible. The book reminded her that once again she’d been thinking only of herself.
“I hope you have some answers here for me, God, because I sure don’t have any for myself.”
Chapter 12
Cedar Springs overflowed with visitors for the harvest party. Crystal blue skies and cooler temperatures made the affair too appealing to refuse. The streets flowed to capacity, and everywhere vendors were hawking their wares and enticing the people to buy. Jugglers and fire breathers came all the way from Dallas to entertain and impress. Children ran up and down the closed-off Main Street with squeals of delight. They seemed to think it novel to be allowed in the roadway when they’d so often been cautioned against it.
Austin had always avoided these kinds of things, but Will Barnett and Tyler Atherton had insisted he be there. They wanted to talk to him about Terryton and his agreement to be marshal. Sometimes Austin wondered if he’d made the right decision. With the Rangers he could move around all over the state. Being Terryton’s marshal would keep him in one place for some time to come.
“I see you made it,” Barnett said, coming up as Austin tied off his horse.
“I did, but I’m still not sure I should be here. Every rustler around these parts is gonna know we’re celebrating up here today. It will be the perfect time to strike.”
“Relax. You don’t have to stay for long. I’m gonna make an announcement here in just a couple of minutes. We’ll go over to the platform and speak from there.” Austin noticed the makeshift structure and nodded. He looked around for Tyler but didn’t see him anywhere. “What about Mr. Atherton?”
“Couldn’t make it,” Barnett replied. “Jessica was still pretty weak from her sickness, so they decided to stay home.”
“But Miss Atherton is feeling better, isn’t she?”
“That’s what I hear.” Barnett’s expression changed. “The mayor is signaling for us to join him. Come. Just follow my lead. You know what’s expected of a marshal,
and the people who don’t already know you, need to.”
Barnett led the way to the dais. They shook hands with the mayor and awaited Will’s introduction.
“I’m glad to have this opportunity to tell you about our progress in creating a new town about twenty-eight miles to the northwest. I donated land for the creation of Terryton to honor my old friends, Ted and Marietta Terry, who settled a good part of this county. Please understand this is in no way a decision made lightly. And we certainly do not anticipate harm to Cedar Springs.”
Austin saw more and more people press in to hear what Mr. Barnett had to say. It made him nervous to be the focus of attention, but Barnett didn’t seem concerned.
“As most of you already know, this area will no doubt be incorporated into Dallas as the city grows. Terryton will still be accessible if our plans go well. The railroad has agreed to our request for a spur line to Terryton, primarily for shipping cattle and goods. The only stipulation was that we have some form of legal authority in place prior to the ground breaking. For that purpose, we have hired Austin Todd.” He motioned Austin to step forward.
Feeling all eyes on him, Austin did as instructed and tried not to concern himself with the crowd. He was glad when William continued.
“Austin, as most of you know, is currently a cattle inspector. He has extensive experience with law enforcement and, I believe, will be a real asset to our little town. Eventually, once the town is formed and running well, we will hold elections for this position. For any of you interested, I’d urge you to keep in touch. We will be looking for various businesses to join us, and I’d be happy to talk to anyone who would like to know more.”
“What about the problems with rustling?” someone called from the crowd.
“Yeah,” another man piped up. “I lost two dozen of my prime beeves.”
William looked to Austin. The crowd did likewise. Austin felt the weight of their stares and fought back discomfort in order to answer the questions.
“The Rangers are well advised of the situation and have men staked in various areas. I myself plan to head out after this announcement. We believe we’re close to capturing the men who’ve been particularly active recently. But that’s all I can say regarding those responsible. I can talk to you individually if you have questions.” He stepped back and swallowed the lump in his throat. Public speaking was something he did not enjoy at all.
A Matter of Heart Page 11